Love

Lift Off

Hey Hey! We have a lot of demands that are placed on us emotionally and mentally. Most of these demands begin with others and continue throughout our lives from various sources, ourselves included. We are not given, at a young age, many tools to sort through, filter and manage the demands that we are asked to handle either directly or indirectly. Despite not knowing how to, in a healthy way, to take care of what we feel we are supposed to, we make attempts to take care of the things around us that we feel responsible for. It takes most of us many years, if we ever do figure it out, and lots of heartache to discover that we may not be working on behalf of our best selves emotional and mental wellbeing. It may take a break of some sort for us to recognize that we might have taken on too much, not enough or the "wrong" stuff. Generally, something moves us to awareness, jolts us forward, and it is usually not rainbows and puppy dogs.

When you go through a situation in your life where you are pushed to ask questions about your life and why you are where you are, and not where you want to be, you will need to look at some big questions, the main ones. When you start to delve into who your beliefs, judgments, motivations, desires and how all of these relate to your relationship with yourself and your relationships with others you will begin to see where you will need to make shifts in your life. We have a lot of programming that says we are supposed to take on the pain of others as our own, we are to be responsible for our fellow man, we are to do things that don't feed us because that is a part of this life that you cannot get around. I know that these ideas, though seemingly big hearted and practical have been distorted beyond; because of these distortions, unhappiness on all levels, emotional, physical and spiritual, are at an all time high.

Knowing where you begin and end is a start to healing. Knowing that you are, at the same time an individual, everyone and everything, allows for your healing to move others forward on their path as well. Because we have become so accustomed to connecting in the external realms we are out of practice with our internal and astral universes. We believe that absorbing someone else's bullshit in this reality actually helps them out. It doesn't in any way actually. When you remember that you can heal yourself and in turn, due to our origin and our connection to the source of all, heal the whole, reaching out is the last thing you need to do. Reaching in is where the strength and the magic come from. Allowing others to see how they choose to use their gifts, powers and knowing is a much more helpful way to be for them and for yourself. When you begin to connect with yourself (and in turn others) spiritually/internally you stop taking on the false reality, that is this external world, of others. When you do that, also known as setting boundaries, you are allowed to feel the abundant energy of love that is available to all of us.

Take a month to work on your boundaries and see, after you have actually set and communicated them, how much space you have to feel, to do, to love. When you remove the weight of this imaginary world from your shoulders you are left with a weightlessness that allows for you to soar.

Great Gray Owl
Great Gray Owl

xo a

You Gotta Get You First

Hello, I enjoy being understood therefore I work hard at understanding myself so that I can clearly communicate me to others; and, in that way, I know when they truly understand. I am the expert on me. That is how it works. You are the only one who can figure you out. You are the work that you have been tasked with. Your gateway to everyone else is through you; without digging inward you will find the outside world easy to get lost in. Without understanding your truths, reasons, excuses, motivations, fears, intentions, desires, judgments, needs, hopes and dreams you will find yourself apologizing, being angry, feeling stuck, living dangerously, feeling unsettled, discontented, frustrated, depressed and more not so yummy things. When we refuse, whether consciously or unconsciously, to ignore the work that is before us, we will be pushed in every way possible towards it. There is no way out, only through. There is no way to ignore that we are the key to our joy and our sorrow, the answer to our questions and concerns, the grantor of our hopes and dreams. No one else.

When you feel like you aren't being heard, listen. When you feel like you aren't being understood, seek to understand yourself more. When you realize that you are not getting what you want, give it to yourself. We wait for someone else to figure out what makes us tick, we do our best to get away from who we are, yet we want others to really know us. Really know yourself… when you do there will be no confusion. When you do the work to understand yourself you will discover when you are sabotaging, being hurtful, helpful or careless, loving grateful, positive, etc. You will be able to behave on purpose. When you put energy into getting to know yourself fully you will stop worrying about someone else doing that work for you. When you turn your attention inward you stop allowing people into your world who haven't done their own work. When someone hasn't come to know themselves they will never be able to truly know another. The more you see of yourself the more you are able to see of others.

My understanding myself has allowed me to absolutely connect with others in a way that is deeper than being empathetic, it is a knowing, a full and total connecting with what is happening on a deep and unconscious level. My understanding myself has allowed me to remain happy 99% of the time because I know what works, how I am feeling and why about anything that enters into my realm of existence. Understanding myself allows me to reprogram any ways of thinking that aren't serving me anymore. When we put a ton of energy into denying ourselves, focusing on others or numbing out we end up at the start of the journey, kind of like groundhog's day. Your work pays off when you do it, truly. When you do your work you can address your needs and make sure that they are met; you can pamper yourself, you can practice being disciplined and bring solid structure to your life. You can, ultimately, truly love yourself when you put the time and effort in understanding you fully. It is what we all want, right; that and unconditional love? Show everyone how it is done for you, teach us how to treat you, live as an example of what you want for you. Be that and see it becomes the world that surrounds you.

Lightbody
Lightbody

xo a

Love Brings Joy

Hello lovely, I am happy 99.8% of the time. I am asked how is that possible and what do I do. Well the short answer is that I do what I want. But truly it is because I take responsibility for me, how I feel, that my feelings are mine and not someone else's. I don't blame another for where I am, who I am or how I am. I realize that I have the power to view things in a way that will foster love and growth or fear and destruction. I am happy because I put so much love into me that nothing else has room to grow. I have no space for someone else to set up shop and start dismantling what I have built. Believe me, people will try; they will try to get inside of you and tell you that you are wrong, bad. It is your choice whether to let them in or to tell them to high-tail it out of town.

We are so used to feeling the need to be validated by others that we allow them to tell us that we are doing our lives all wrong. As an example: I was discussing family with a friend when she asked me how I respond to people being less than understanding when they find out that I don't speak to my mother (except in cases of emergency). I responded that I don't give people the space to judge what I do (to my face at least). The idea that someone would feel comfortable telling me that they feel I should live my life differently is comedy to me. Honestly hilarious. Part of the reason there is no room is because I am never confused about decisions I make. I recognize this as a blessing, I do. I work with my clients to gain clarity around their own lives so that they can also make clear and definitive choices, and change their minds if they choose to.

I live my truth at all times. I do not ever attempt to be someone other than who I am, fully. That person is absolutely deserving, worthy, worthwhile, amazing and divine. She is also an asshole, stubborn and selfish when she needs to be. I don't EVER feel wrong. I don't ever feel like I am not good enough. I don't ever believe someone is going to know better than I will how I feel. I never allow those stories, those lies to be a part of my universe. They are allergic to the air in my atmosphere. It is the most freeing thing that you can ever experience, being authentic. I do what I want and you can too; things will still get done, life will continue, work will be worked and tasks accomplished.

So, yes, I am happy because I wouldn't have it any other way. My joy is of the utmost importance. When I am joy I am able to give without needing to take many breaks; I don't feel used; I don't need it reciprocated because it is without expectation that I am giving. Happiness is available to every single one of us… you just have to take it.

butterflylady
butterflylady

A Vow to Self

"Behind all resistance is fear. Behind all fear is a lack of faith in oneself." ~Dina Bachelor Evan The thing that I love about marriage (besides not being married at the time I am writing this) is that it is a vow, an amazingly brave vow to take. It basically says that you will do the hard work it takes to learn, grow, be vulnerable, not hide, accept, love and support someone, even when you want to run away… it is, in truth a vow to your Self to work on you through your relationship to another. Marriage is a crazy beautiful ridiculous impossible rewarding thing, even when it doesn't work out. Vows are powerful and scary, beautiful and breathtaking, magical and mysterious. They matter when you make them and they matter when you break them. The truth is, many people don't ever imagine a time, when they are getting married, that they wouldn't want to be married to the person they are with, until it happens.

My father refuses to talk about death, scares him shitless. It is going to happen, to him, to me, to everyone that is alive. Death is a promise the moment you are conceived. It is the ONLY thing you can count on from the very beginning. Well, falling out of love with someone is the promise of falling in love with someone. What if, instead of avoiding the inevitable, everyone started discussing what they planned on doing when things get tough with their significant others, how they planned on moving through the struggle? What if we recognized that growth was inevitable and a potential 30, 40, 50 years with someone would yield at least 1-5 years of rough patch territory; seriously. A few years of struggle ain't so bad in the grand scheme of things. When you are looking at eons, a couple of years is a drop in the bucket. Besides, what is the point of getting married if you aren't going to do what you can when shit is going south? That is called dating and it is awesome because you can just get the hell out of dodge when someone is annoying. The downside to dating is that you can get the hell out of dodge when someone is annoying. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not one to tell anyone to stay in something that is shitty. On the contrary, I break up with friends when I feel that the friendship is no longer serving me in a healthy way. I know that everything ends. I know that what happens is what is meant to… so it goes. I do believe, however, if you have the chance to do your work, take it, especially when you made a promise to do so.

No matter how far away you go, you will still be where you are. Leaving one thing to go to the next doesn't actually solve the issue, which is always, my loves, you. No matter how much you would prefer the other person to be wrong, fucked up, and unworthy, you only see in another what you have within yourself. The best part of commitment is commitment. You will learn to stretch and grow and do more and go farther and suck it up in ways you would never if you weren't committed. It is like being committed to a workout plan as opposed to just working out when you feel like it. The part that is hard, really really hard is that you have to face the fact that the only way to make things better in your life is to truly love, cherish and honor yourself and that your understanding of how to do that is archaic and often just plain wrong. When you realize that you have to say the hard thing, do the hard work, and look deep inside and face the dark stuff, you may want to run. Wanting to flee is often a response to not wanting to see…. not wanting to see how you gave yourself away thinking you were taking care of your partner, when you were, in actuality, giving your power away to someone who was giving their power away too. Both partners feeling powerless and thinking that they are helping the other out in whatever way they thought they were supposed to, only to get angry and blame the other for their unhappiness at a later date. Relationships can force you, when pushed to their powerful potential, to deal with your Self, in ways you would never if given the chance to just cut and run. Of course, you don't have to deal, but the blessings that come when you do are immeasurable.

Now just because you work on your things and potentially heal your wounds with your partner does not mean you will remain partnered… your work together may be over after that, this healing may be exactly why you joined in a union to begin with. It is also the case that you must have a partner who is willing and ready to work on things in order to actually heal with them. If you have a partner who has given up you may need to move on. I have been there, I was married, have been in long term relationships, I get it. Nothing lasts forever, nothing ever could. My hope is that you receive all of the gifts an experience is here to give and from that place of strength make choices from your highest most ideal space to take your next beautiful steps.

Four-Seasons-Tree
Four-Seasons-Tree

Love, love and more love.

xo a

Self Inflicted

Hello, Writing is one way that I own my personal power… moving my body in another way, speaking my mind, saying what I want, loving myself are all ways in which I demonstrate my awareness around my divinity. One of the ways in which we undermine our personal power is by leaving ourselves. We leave ourselves by being inauthentic; not doing what we want to do. When we don't know what we want, do what others want, or refuse to admit what we want, we dishonor our soul's divinity. We have the same rights as everyone else to feel, want and need. When we put someone's needs, wants or feelings over our own by making ours less than, we cut away pieces of ourselves. We take these pieces and we give them away, in some ways hoping that someone will notice that we are mutilating ourselves for the sake of the love, respect, kindness of others. It is hard to respect someone who doesn't honor themselves; whether we realize consciously they are hurting themselves or not, our soul can see another soul that is abusing themselves.

Abuse is often considered something that is done to another person or thing. However, abuse more often happens within a person's relationship with him/herself. We abuse ourselves by not discovering who we are, what we want, how we feel. We abuse ourselves by never getting to know and love ourselves yet expecting to have a long and healthy life. If you are in a relationship with someone you never speak to, get to know and love most would call that neglect. Very few people would think it was ok to stay in that relationship… yet we are in it with ourselves right now. Most people are the worst partners to themselves, partly because they have no idea that that relationship that you have with yourself is every relationship in your world. The external relationships are just aspects of your very deep and complicated relationship with your Self. We spend a lot of time blaming someone else for making us feel this or that when on a higher level they are showing us what we do to and think of ourselves.

Where this is hard to hear or understand is when you think you are being loving and giving to your partner by looking out for them first, by bending over backwards to make sure they are understood and heard… by going to great lengths to squash any feelings you have that may be contrary to theirs. We think we are being loving, we believe we are taking care. We are being so mean, violently so, to our souls. They don't actually benefit either. They are left stunted without ever seeing that the world doesn't revolve around them, and therefore never getting to figure out what to do with their feelings and desires that aren't fulfilled by another. They don't have the opportunity to fend for themselves and in that way emotionally grow. And you… well, you are being your most ferocious enemy. You make you wrong. You make what you need invalid and when your partner or others support your being invalid, you feel even worse.

Where are you denying you? Notice how you keep people around you who support this abuse you inflict on yourself. Sometimes these abuse supporters feel threatened when you begin to fight for yourself, when you begin to stop the cutting. This is to be expected, but never to be honored. Your power is your own, own it.

BreakFreeSlider1
BreakFreeSlider1

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Sydnee. Staying Up. Sleeping In. My Guitar. Tuesdays.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I may be chronologically 39 but in reality I am ageless. I enjoy my life and everything in it. This acceptance and ability to go with the flow keeps me bouncing around the same way I did when I was 30 years younger. I enjoy the unknown (it is like christmas morning to me) and love surprises. I look forward to playing and am never bored. Life is best lived in the moment and our moments are so abundant that it is like winning the lottery on a daily basis to me, this life. So much to see, learn and do. So many people to love and to love you back. Growing up is fantastic if you never let go of love and curiosity. The thing is, many people believe that growing up means leaving the parts of life that were fun, silly, experimental, wondrous and curious behind. I believe that aging, in part, is due to the cutting off of the vital energetic flow. We prepare for and accelerate our demise with the present day belief of what growing up is.

If you are someone who spends most of their time unimpressed with the things around them you might be suffering from "grownupitis" and there is a way out; it doesn't have to be terminal. You can find your way back to love, joy and fun no matter how far down the path to stagnation you have run. The first thing you will need to recognize is that love, joy and fun are never far from you… they are residents inside of you. You may have neglected them but they won't leave, they just need to be nurtured, watered as it were. One of the best ways to nurture love, joy and fun is to do something that you deem immature or childish… or that you may believe is for kids only, like hopscotch, swings, jump rope, trampoline, thumb wrestling, making faces, juggling, playing with putty, coloring or simply dancing around your house. Do something that takes away any sign of appropriateness away, like a whoopie cushion in a board meeting! Let go of trying to control an outcome and just do some stuff for fun. See how it feels to be free.

The second thing that can help you live your moments with reckless abandon is to own your feelings and let others own theirs too. When you release the need to control others you have more time to have fun. Seriously. When you stop trying to get everything to work out in some way or another you have more time to do the things you love. We make things so complicated and we resist the abundance of ease that actually exists. When you love something love it, when you don't, don't. We put up so many walls to love, joy, fun and wonder based on beliefs that are absolutely arbitrary. Create the reality you would like to live in and then live in it! This is your journey, your path, your universe… explore it, love it!

happiness_boy
happiness_boy

xo a

As Is, Is Perfect

Howdy, It is ok that you aren't always nice. It is ok that you are sometimes an asshole. It is ok that you don't have it all figured out. It is. Many of us have decided that in order to be ok we have to be void of anything that has been judged as negative, bad, base. We believe that we must cut out our darkness as we would a cancer. We want everyone to live in harmony and light without recognizing that harmony and light need discord and darkness to exist. The issue isn't that everything exists, it is all in how we are viewing it. Our adding condemnation to something that we already have fear, shame and regret around only adds to the strength of the darkness and our fear; it only turns the lights out more. When you recognize the place that darkness deserves and requires in order for you to see the light, you no longer have any reason to fear that the darkness or shadow controls you or will do damage. A gun isn't dangerous unless it is in the hands of a human. The darkness isn't the bad guy.

When we refuse to accept the divinity of all things, including the stuff we hate, we refute, we would like to run the opposite direction from, we are forced then to repeat the experience that we so adamantly condemned. We don't have to learn through suffering, it is simply that we refuse to learn any other way… The universe isn't conflicted, we are. The universe isn't judging you as good or bad, it is simply throwing at you information for you to use to create deeper and richer experiences of your choosing. Imagine being able to look at your experiences in your life as ways to grow closer to your's and other's divinity. What would be the purpose of denying anything that was, in actuality, a gift. It is never the thing itself that is the issue but, instead, the thoughts we have about that thing that becomes our albatross. When you leave the thing as an it, or place on it the wise experience that is its highest potential, your world shifts in miraculous ways.

Our thinking is our biggest hurdle, our wanting to fit into an idea of something we have never truly experienced. We spend our time deciding what ok and what is not or trying to manipulate the world around us to fit into our narrow ideas (based on our limited experience) of love. What we don't fully understand is that all of it is love and worry, fear, hate, etc are also part and parcel to the journey to love… albeit roundabout. It is a hard thing to grasp that you are never without, never alone, never lost; that even when you are an asshole you are divine. Even when you don't know the next move to make you are moving in the direction you are supposed to be moving. Acceptance is an unveiling of the miracle of existence… of everything.

Wake up to the magic, it can be phenomenal if you allow it to be.

chaos
chaos

xo a

Loving You

Hi! I love relationships. I know that they are the best way to learn about ourselves. I also know that they can be uber challenging which is why there is so much beauty in them (and so much to write about). The aspect of relationships that consistently come up for me in my life and in my client's lives is that of taking care of one another. There are so many things about that phrase that people love and hate. There is a level of taking care of someone that is comforting and healthy and then there is the area where it becomes unhealthy, controlling and self-serving. Most couples tend to go towards unhealthy, controlling and self-serving with the idea that they are being comforting and healthy. It is a hard truth but one that ultimately will lead to a better understanding of why we do what we do and how we can change it.

We are taught to find the one that completes us; our better half. We are led to believe that life is better with a partner, someone to call our own. We are taught that the person we marry/partner with needs to fulfill various requirements and be dutiful and see to our needs. We are taught that we should look outside of ourselves for what we truly need to nurture within us. Our love for another is just a reflection of our love for ourselves. How you are loving your partner is a direct reflection of the love you are giving yourself. When you aren't holding yourself responsible to take care of your needs and desires you will find disappointment in others attempts. When you are hoping your partner does this or that, things you aren't doing for you, they will also fail miserably to fulfill what truly is your task to see to. For example, when you want your partner to communicate with you in a way that is understanding and loving and supportive, what you are finding is that you aren't doing that for you and that information is clearly shown to you by your partner's treatment. Seriously, think about it honestly. When you begin to set boundaries, take care of you and let your partner know what does or does not work, instead of expecting things to just magically happen, you will see a noticeable shift in how you feel and how you are treated. The example you set is the example the people in your life follow. You have to demonstrate how you want to be taken care of by taking care of yourself in that way.

Additionally, there is a pressure that is lifted off of your loved ones when you recognize that they are not the source for your misery and enjoyment. When you stop blaming them for your own stuff they can breathe. When they see that you are not relying on them to be your everything they can be great for you how they are able, and will actually really want to be as well. There is a lot of resentment in relationships where partners are trying to bandage up the other's wounds and in turn neglect their own. Resentment becomes the underlying feeling, along with anger and pain. Let go of the tired and unhealthy notion that you need completion. Embrace the idea that you are all you need to be happy. Maybe then you will decide to be in relationship that honors that and supports your continued work towards who you want to be. Just because you marry someone does not mean you no longer honor and respect the never ending bond your soul made by coming into your body and creating the wonderful and divine YOU that you are.

Be your best friend, lover and partner first. Why would you ever think someone else should love you when you don't or won't?

valentine-heart-of-hearts
valentine-heart-of-hearts

xo a

Power

Hi there, When you don't own your power it owns you. I have been an example of this one too many times. I have always been a bright light in my life and the lives of others. When I was young I remember feeling that everyone was special and lovely and wonderful and a friend. I was often hurt but easily bounced back from the pain of rejection or bullying because my nature is love. I recall my mother being very concerned with how I would fare in the world. She was certain I would be destroyed in some way once I was older and in contact with more people and no longer under her protection. When we moved to North Carolina, her fears were almost completely realized. I had some of the hardest years of my life there; I learned that people didn't behave to their divine potential, they behaved to their lowest most base vibration, often. It was rough so I became guarded, wary. The one thing that was hated the most was my light. It was like everyone wanted to snuff it out… so I dimmed, I hid, I began taking on the jealousy and inadequacy of others and shut myself down.

I had learned during my NC years that people didn't always appreciate my gifts. Though I tried to temper myself a bit, I was still well loved and known in college. No matter what I did or where I went I stood out. I kept quiet about what I could do, what I knew, how I could see. I lived a wonderful but tumultuous life during those years and following. I found myself, year after year, (during and after college) struggling to succeed, never wanting to make others feel less than me at the same time the very thing I wanted to hide would rear it's head when I pretended to be something I wasn't. Of course, I didn't know I wasn't fully owning that I could see, or kow things that others couldn't. My knowing and my light has always been helpful and allowed me to be an amazing Resident Assistant, friend, confidante, coach, and athlete. It was just that for the longest time I believed that owning my powers, my gifts meant I would have an ego that was out of control or be taking something away from others.

Me being fully me does just the opposite. When I am fully grown, fully showing up I am an example of how it is done. When I don't show up fully, the response to me is muddy. I have lived this over and over. When I am not clear, honest and authentically myself nothing else is. My power becomes my weakness. When I take charge of what I can do and how it is my calling, I am able to benefit and so is everyone else. It is like a person spinning in circles not realizing they have a machete in their hand. You need to own that you have a powerful and dangerous, if ignored, tool in your possession so that you use it purposefully. Whatever your power is, whether it be the responsibility of driving a car sober or knowing that you are charismatic and people are drawn to you without being able to help it; if you refuse to see the importance of being sober when you drive or recognizing someone being intoxicated by you, a crash is going to happen at some point, and people will get hurt. Take what you are in charge of seriously. Whether it is the power of influence or the power of walking understand and own that it is power and yours to shape.

Spiritual Power
Spiritual Power

xo a

Never Lonely

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Themed cycle classes. My lovely friends. Sleeping in. Fit, Strong, Sexy Bodies. New Fitness Equipment.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I don't get lonely. I really enjoy being on my own and I really enjoy being with others. No matter the situation I am in I am pretty content with being me and living my life. This is not something that is usual for most. Loneliness is a plague it seems. Many people will do most anything to get away from that feeling of being lonely. The paradox is that no one can fill up that feeling; no one, no thing, no place, no activity. Loneliness is a symptom, a sign, that you have left you. You have deserted yourself. The feeling of loneliness is a sign that the relationship that matters most as far as health, happiness and wellbeing, hasn't been nurtured. When you recognize that you could be your best friend, most amazing confidante and supporter, and you put energy into that relationship, loneliness will not have space to take root.

When you aren't lonely you find that the people in your life change. They are not looking for you to fill a space; they aren't looking for you to complete them in any way. When you fill yourself up, you are able to find others who have done the same. With the neediness removed from connection you are left to learn about yourself through your relationships, you are ready to grow and move forward in ways you couldn't have when you used others to numb yourself out. When you stop abusing others the way we do food, sex, drugs, etc. you will find happiness that is unyielding, unwavering, constant and more comforting than any other love you have known. When you are in love with you, when you are happy being you, when you stop leaving you, you will never be alone.

Be alone, be lonely, be afraid, be sad. Go through the feelings that you are sinking, falling and no one is there… then remember that you are. You could show up. You can bring your light to the surface, it is a choice. It is. We love to play victim and we love to stay confused. Stop using not knowing how to do something as an excuse. Read, google, write, ask, etc. Make a move, take action! You need to be where you are to get to where you are going, stop running from yourself. Stop leaving yourself. You are not alone, you never were and you don't ever have to be again.

self-love-woman
self-love-woman

xo a

Fear of Flying

Hi! When you let go of the idea that you will be safe if you have a relationship with someone who understands you, who gets you; when you stop worrying about things that are not happening right now; when you remember that all of this is temporary fear pops up and then bounces away. It is the exact opposite of what happens for those who believe that a relationship will fulfill them, "knowing" will calm them or that what they hold onto will last forever; for those people, fear consumes them. The notion that there is safety, security and fulfillment in all the things that truly are temporary, whether you consciously get it or not, would bring up fear because there is no truth to it. We grab onto one another hoping that in the other we will find ground and stop the fall. What we don't understand is that the one we are holding onto is falling also and couldn't stop your internal struggle no matter how much they wanted to. You are the one who can catch you, make you feel secure and loved fully. You are your savior.

We live in a world where most things are unknown yet we try our best to control all. We put rules on everything in order to gain some semblance of being the boss of all. Then life happens, people leave, die, things end, begin, magic happens. We are so set in believing that we KNOW things that we call anything that goes outside of what we have arbitrarily decided could happen, unexplainable, not true, made up, fantasy, conspiracy or some other such definition that usually has a negative connotation. We actually chastise people who refuse to think like the rest of the society we are in. It is understandable then that deep down we are struggling within this box that we are in. Boxes are cramped and somewhere in our soul we see the expansiveness of existence. We know that the world is bigger than the box but because we don't know what lies outside of it, we freak the f*ck out and basically refuse to leave the 'safety' of it. The box says that if you do certain things then certain things will happen. Well, there may be a possibility that those things are going to happen but there is a possibility that other things would happen too. The world is mysterious, exciting and surprising.

Letting go of our illusion of security is a process for most. You can practice it by doing things that challenge you in various ways. You can do it by changing your language around love, relationships, and the world. You can let go of the idea of security by recognizing that the only control that you have is over you and how you respond to your world… Or you can learn through the fact that the world will stop at nothing to get you to see it. The world, universe, will take things away, bring things in, create chaos and then bring order whether you want it or not. The universe will give you opportunity after opportunity to learn how to let go of our attachments. What you call falling I call flying. When you open up to possibility, to understanding that it is the moment that is precious, not the imagined future, you can stop the drop and begin to enjoy the journey. It is your choice to bury your head or spread your wings.

flyowl
flyowl

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.    

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

My Website www.coachaina.com. Soreness From Great Workouts. My Bed. Growth. Goals.

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Being cold, unfeeling, impenetrable and aloof may seem like signs of security, that someone doesn't need other's approval or attention, yet it is more a sign of insecurity.  When you don't feel loved, lovable or loving you aren't going to readily accept those things in your life.  You push them away, pretending that they don't really matter (if you are good at spinning things) or you are depressed and present as desperate for anyone to give you attention and love.  Those extremes are signs of imbalance.  When you find the person who is basically a monk or the one that can never sleep alone you are looking at two sides of the same coin.  Insecurity makes you feel uncomfortable, brings up feelings that you'd rather get away from and is deeply tied into self-worth, esteem and love.

When you try to manage around your insecurity instead of dealing with it head on, pain and suffering ensue; usually for you.  Your feelings become distorted, because you are suppressing or distorting them yourself.  Your relationships are usually not fulfilling; and not only with others, but with yourself. Insecurity is insidious and doesn't allow you to feel at ease at all. There is always some sort of lack, dissatisfaction or uneasiness in your world when insecurity is allowed to live within.  Often those who are insecure are also victims in their world.  They find that things happen to them, that they don't have a say over their journey; it is like they are on a rollercoaster and cannot get off.

Insecurity isn't a life sentence, not at all.  You are absolutely capable of moving beyond it and finding your center.  It takes work, vigilance and desire. Loving yourself is the cure.  Not wearing nice clothing, working out, eating right, or getting rid of the dead weight (people, jobs or places) in your life isn't what I am talking about, only.  Those things are key to self-love, by the way, but the deep stuff, the self talk, belief, understanding that you are here and meant to be here.  That you matter, that you are a gift, a miracle.  When you understand, not know, but understand and believe these truths insecurity is left without oxygen to breathe.  When you recognize your divinity, your awesomeness you are no longer bruised by life's ups and downs, the fickleness of a lover, the dissatisfaction at a job.  You take it as a learning moment and move on.

Keep on keeping on… your time is here and you are doing what you need to in order to reach your soul's goal in this world.  I am proud of you.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

xo a

Check Your Ego

egoabstract

Hi,

No one is making decisions because of you no matter how much you think they are or want them to. Everyone is moving through the world trying to do things that make them happy, that bring them love, that keep them from feeling sad… mostly.  Yes, many people are eating their emotions, drinking their sorrows, stuffing down their truths but they do so because of the search for joy, love and happiness.  Regardless of how they do it, they are working on giving themselves comfort, period.  So when you are feeling like someone is doing something to you there are a few things that need to shift; the first being your perspective, the second being the drama that you like to create and third, your being bossed around by your ego.  You may be a really lovely human being but you aren't the reason someone is doing anything, even if they say that you are.  You might inspire them, encourage or influence, but you aren't the reason. The reason always originates with the person doing whatever they are doing for themselves, because they benefit in some way, or think that they will.

Ok, let that sink in.  You aren't the reason for other's choices or decisions.  When your ego becomes inflated you begin thinking that you are why someone is happy, unhappy, sad, miserable, etc.  You begin to believe that you somehow cause others to live a life that they wouldn't otherwise.  You may also believe that the choices they make that don't serve you are somehow against you.  Basically, when your ego is inflated everything has to be centered around something you aren't doing, are doing or is being done to or for you.  None of the above is the case, though we use language all the time that reinforce the inflation of ego.  We accuse others of making us feel this or that, we accuse others of making us do one thing or another, and we tell people that they need to be different so we can be different.  We are a society that simply does not take responsibility for what we are responsible for.  Our feelings, our actions and behaviors, our choices are our own, not because of anyone else, really.  Once you are able to own this you can make different ones if you feel that you need to.

Take a moment to think about the choices you made in your life so far.  Now think about the reasons you have made them; eating various things, bringing certain people into your world, letting others go from it; being honest, dishonest or authentic; holding back or pushing forward.  How much of your world was decided by someone else?  If you can see that you are the conductor of your life you can recognize that it is the same for all of us.  When you release the idea that someone is doing something to you and instead understand that they are doing something for themselves you begin to bring your ego down to a size that is manageable and healthy.  We are all doing the best we can at any given moment.  The potential to begin to fully love your life is there when you begin to fully take responsibility for it, and let others do the same.

xo

a

Mirror Mirror

Hello! You will have to deal with your sh*t no matter what you do to get away from it. Everyone in your life is a reflection of you… everyone. They tell you where you are by being who they are. This may not be what you want to hear, which means you really want to listen. You are where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing, reading what you are supposed to be reading. You are meant to finally own up to your choices, where you are in your world, what you have ignored, judged, denied, refused, cut out, brought in and pushed away. None of these experiences or choices are meant to shame you or throw you into a spiral of guilt. They are lessons, they are gifts, they are alarms for you to pay attention to.

We have people who come into our world that challenge, excite, depress or ignite us. We don't always know why we are drawn to the same type of person over and over again, we may not yet see our patterns, our repeats. Take a look, see if you are going over your past in different iterations. We may wonder why we like the things in others that we do or find some people unappealing and repelling. When you find these strong feelings rise up in you, pay close attention. These feelings signify areas in yourself that are in conflict or that you need to address. It isn't about the people you like or dislike… it is that you like or dislike that is telling. Your inner struggles, your inner work is played out in front of your eyes everyday. What you struggle with will show up as your lover, your best friend, your nemesis. It will show up in your career, your pets, your health. Your emotional self becomes your life in every possible way. Just as nature finds infinite ways to express beauty, your soul finds a multitude of ways to manifest itself.

Look at the world with the filter that it is all about you; not in the way of taking responsibility for what others say, do or feel; not in the way of wanting everyone to focus on you... Instead see the world as your reflection and then change it for the better by going within; heading to the source. If everything is reflecting your deepest self, working on you and shifting that core perspective changes everything. You have the power, you have the ability, you are omnipotent, you are the creator. You are able to make your world bright or absolutely dim your light. Why do you choose what you choose? What brings you to a place where you often lose? What are you trying to show yourself? Learn what your motivations are so that you can use them to carry you through to your ideal self.

Keep opening up, keep owning your stuff, keep looking within, keep letting love and light in.

reflection-ocean-tree-moon

xo

a

Toxic

Hello there! There are people in your world that may not need to stay. If that resonated then I am talking to you. It doesn't matter if they are your sister, mother, brother or friend, if they are toxic then they aren't helping you. I know you may feel like I am being harsh or that you couldn't possibly cut off ties with someone you are related to or are friends with, but it isn't about what you think you should do, it is about what is best for you; what is best for your soul. In order to hear what I am saying you have to let go of your sense of duty and obligation and your fear and judgment around being left by someone you want to stay in your life. You will have to be brutally honest with yourself and you might have to have a "come to Jesus" moment where you give yourself a mini intervention. You may be in an abusive relationship in some way and refused to see it as such simply because you love the person, are related to them or have been acquainted for some period of time.

Know that saying how you feel about a, b or c doesn't actually label someone as bad or wrong… you are simply stating your feelings. We often refuse to say how we truly feel about a person or situation because we think that saying you don't like a person's particular behavior is saying you think ill of the person. Not the case. Those two things are separate. For example: For me, my mother is toxic. This doesn't actually mean that I am saying my mother is evil, horrible or a bad person, just that I feel happier and healthier when I have little to no interaction with her. I am stating the truth about how I feel and what my experience has been in regards to her. She says very unkind things on a regular basis and seems to get a kick out of using very aggressive language to illustrate her disdain for me, so I choose to take my leave. When something is toxic it is poisonous or harmful. People can be toxic regardless of their connection to you, you being close doesn't equal yummy treatment. People can be mean and hurtful in your opinion and you don't actually have to judge them or take it personally. You can let them be who they are without having to be with them. We forget that we don't have to force change on people, we don't have to always make someone understand us or do what we want. It isn't reasonable to always try to have others bend to your will. Sometimes relationships aren't meant to be and that is and always will be ok. We make things really complicated when we judge them; when we judge them we have a hard time letting them be what they are.

What they are is simple too. People aren't generally mean to you because they just love being mean or they desire toxicity. If someone isn't treating you well, in your opinion, they most likely are doing the same thing to themselves. If you can stop and remember that we see the world the way that we are… so if someone is unhappy, mean, cruel, abusive they most likely are in pretty bad shape spiritually and emotionally. They don't need judgment, no one does. They don't need cruelty in return and they most certainly don't need enabling. You aren't here to be abused or mistreated. Being loving isn't staying with or around someone who brings you down. Regardless of understanding why someone is being awful to you, you don't actually need to deal with it. or stay in the abusive situation or relationship. The understanding is so you can remember to be compassionate, from a distance if necessary.

Now, what if the person that is toxic is you? This is the case for at least one person that will read this. If you are your own worst connection you aren't going to be able to take your leave as you could with something that isn't you. You will have to stay and deal with your demons. We can be the biggest abusers to ourselves and not even recognize it. If you put yourself down, discourage, say mean things, or are impatient with allowing yourself to be where you are, you most likely are toxic to you… The first step in getting out of this cycle with yourself is recognizing that this is true and that you would prefer to do something different; that you would prefer to be supportive of you. When you can be your own biggest fan, the wind beneath your own wings the possibilities are endless (they are endless anyway).

Find what makes you sick, nauseated, anxious, unhappy and remove it from your world. Your thoughts and the feelings that come up around them make up the world you live in. Create a space in your life that is conducive to you living your best life, being your best self, and feeling your best. This space should be guarded like the priceless treasure it is. Let no one, not even that meanie that lives within, disrupt it. You are worth being honored and cherished every day of your life by any and everyone that wants to be a part of it. See how your life changes when you begin to accept only the best from yourself and others.

Tree Silhouette Against Starry Night Sky

xo

a

Only The Lonely

Hi there :) Soon my website will be going live and will have sections for my video blogs (which you can find on YouTube if you search for my Glossylove Channel or Aina Williams), Body Camps, Life Coaching, Personal Training, Nutrition and more!  Exciting!!!  Stay tuned.

I am someone who is very happy being alone, I truly enjoy being with me…  I grew up with two people who were somewhat depressed and enjoyed being solo.  At a young age I figured out how to hang with me.  I created worlds and scenarios.  I walked through my home with candles pretending to be a princess that was looking for her prince.  I imagined my future, I created my life many times over.  I had fun.  I always truly enjoyed the company of others and was made to deal on my own even more when we moved to a small town in North Carolina.  I was bullied and even more isolated than I could have ever imagined.  It was rough and I was so lonely… I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

So many of us have a really hard time being alone.  In some ways it is horrifying for people.  Alone, all alone with their true feelings, thoughts, inclinations.  Nothing to take them away from themselves.  Some turn to constantly having others around, never giving themselves alone time.  Others find another way to numb out and escape being alone with themselves; drugs, food, sex, TV, internet… anything that is a distraction, that quiets the voices in their heads.  Some people refuse to be alone, sacrificing their true happiness simply so they aren't single.  Finding relationship a sort of validation; having it equal them being worthy, lovable.  There is no judgment here… just truth and some questions.  How long can you keep running from yourself?  What are you afraid or ashamed of?

Because I have been trained on being my own best friend I need my space like you need air.  When I feel that anyone, friend, family member or lover, wants more time from me than I have had for myself things usually end.  What I value in alone time is the space to regroup, assess where I am and how I feel.  When I am focused on someone else I am not actually doing my own personal work.  I am helping someone else do theirs; which is my work on one level.  If I don't have balance with focusing on others and then focusing on me, the two will blend together.  Enmeshing is something that can be really damaging to overall happiness.  When you cannot tell where you begin or end emotions get truly all-encompassing.  I feel strongly that our being in these separate bodies is so that we can feel our separateness and work on the whole through that experience.  Truly we are one and that doesn't have to be demonstrated by not owning our very separate feelings.  We don't have to lose ourselves in this reality in order to stay connected to one another… We also are truly able to become closer when we become whole on our own.  When we stop looking to something or someone else to make us feel valid and full and worthy.

Think about your relationships.  Are they serving your best interest?  Do they bring out your highest self?  If you cannot answer yes to these questions for every relationship, the issue is the relationship you have with yourself.  Start there.  Fall in love at home, with you… then see how easy it is for love to come into your life and never ever leave.

personal-freedom xo

a

Tell Them

Hello sweets! Trust is something that we need more of when it comes to one another.  I don't mean leaving your kids with any and everyone… I mean trusting in each other's ability to be ok with what is.  Most people aren't broken souls who cannot function when told something difficult.  We behave like everyone is one step away from suicide and telling someone something that isn't yummy will push them over the edge.  Get a grip people.  Very few (if any) people are going to crumble when told something that is true for you.  Often it is the lies, keeping secrets and being indirect that cause more harm than good for everyone involved.  Letting someone know what is actually happening for you can be a big relief for them, especially when you understand, and communicate, that your feelings and perceptions are just that, yours.  When blame ends and truth begins, life is a lot less burdensome.

Women have this tendency more than men, I believe… and maybe I am just biased because I am a woman, but women like to be nice when really I believe they are just trying to please everyone and deny themselves (not consciously).  It is a deep lack of self-worth that women are taught to have which translates into behaving in ways that aren't authentic.  For many women, and men, it isn't enough to exist, you have to please and nurture and appease.  I understand the desire to want to be loved by all… I also understand that it isn't possible.  When you need to tell someone something, especially a boundary, you need to just say it.  Boundaries need to be communicated.  Loving yourself means making sure you are safe, taken care of, heard, treated well.  Bending over backwards, lying, not communicating your truth… there is NOTHING loving about that.  Not saying what you mean is deceitful actually, not kind.  When you give someone the respect and responsibility of being a grown-up you are actually being loving.  You are saying that you trust that they will be able to handle and hold this information.  You trust that they are capable and your equal.

Focus on Communication

When we, when receiving news that isn't what we would prefer to hear, manipulate (even if you don't realize you are, you are) one another by saying that the person speaking their truth is being mean, or hurting us we are actually regressing.  Stop blaming someone's words for your feelings.  Your feelings originate with your ideas of yourself and the world.  Stop trying to get someone to stop speaking their truth and stop taking the feelings of another personally.  Just because it is hard to hear doesn't make it 1) true or 2) have anything really to do with you.  What it does mean is that you have a chance to hear and honor what is happening for someone else.  You have a chance to respect a boundary, move on, learn, grow, etc.  I call listening and holding space for someone a "free throw."  It is a chance to be told exactly what to do to bring a smile to someone's face.  If what you want is to love, then respect is number one.

So just to be clear:  when someone likes you and you don't like them tell them… clearly.  If you say that you really like them and you like hanging out that isn't CLEAR.  Say directly that I don't like you romantically, sexually, intimately.  Period.  Be sure they get it.  If your Doctor sucks, tell them why you are choosing another physician; this gives them a chance to grow, change, or just know why they are losing patients.  Give each other a chance to grow by being grown yourself.

All of the above is said with love :-)

xo

a

You Never Know

HI there, I grew up in Cleveland, OH on the westside in Riverside Projects.  Now, I don't know why it was called riverside because the only thing we were next to was an airport.  Ok, not directly next to it, but planes would come so low overhead that I felt like I was going to be hit by one.  I became so scared of a plane missing its landing and hitting our house that I started freaking out about death in general.  I remember that I was more afraid of the plane hitting the house when I was in situations that I thought would be compromising.  I really never wanted to be found on the toilet, dead, so I would get nervous when I went to the loo.  That fear passed and would come back here and there.  We lived at Riverside for 13 years.

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When we finally moved out of Cleveland and out of the projects we went to North Carolina.  We had high hopes to live in the house my mother was raised in, restore it, and live a life farming, loving each other and living dreams we hadn't dared to dream yet.  When we arrived we were greeted with an unwelcoming committee (my mother's uncle who, like a lot of her family have a chip and are simply an unhappy lot).  We moved into the projects of Dunn, NC and it started again; save for this time we were in 102 degree heat in the middle of a little town that wasn't at all familiar to me.  I struggled through depression for years in NC.  It was some of the darkest days (until my early 20's) that I had experienced.

During the time I spent in the projects, which was up until I was 14 basically, no one ever asked me if I was going to college or truly cared about what I would do with my life.  It was assumed that life was pretty much decided for me… I would probably have babies early and repeat a cycle that I was actually not a part of, but believed to be because everyone is a fuck up in the projects living off of welfare, right?  Well, my mother had me when she was 31 and grew up middle-class.  She didn't finish college but she is off the charts IQ-wise and had a strong sense of self-worth.  She had/has shitty taste in men (yep, my father is great in ways and not in others) and ended up raising her babies alone.  It is not an easy thing, being a single parent, and so she lived where she could afford and did what she needed.  I am glad because I am a badass because of it.

You never know what someone has gone through to get to where they are.  You never know the journey it takes to live the life someone is living.  We assume so many things about each other and never stop to ask questions, to be curious.  I went to college and have traveled the world, I am able to relate to any and everyone because I am everyone.  I see myself in the person on the street begging, the woman about to get her child that is crying after waking up from a nap, and the President of a Fortune 500 company.  I know that the idea of separateness that we hold so dear and we believe keeps ups so safe actually does more harm than anything else.  And, at the same time, without all of the rejection, discrimination and classism I have experienced I wouldn't be the compassionate soul that I am today.

Before you decide that you know something about someone you have never met or someone who you have; before you look at statistics instead of individual people; before you write someone off because they aren't familiar to you; before you get all f*cking judgmental think about me or someone else you know that defied odds, ignored statistics, who wouldn't quit.  Maybe your kindness, your inspiration is just what they need to move forward.  Then again, maybe your being an ass is what they need to move forward too.  Either way, evolution, development and growth are happening for all of us at different rates in different ways.  You don't have to be open to the variety of ways there are to get somewhere but life sure is more exciting when you do.

For my part, I am going to inspire.  It is more fun.  What are you going to do?

xo

a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.

 This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Admiration.

Music… I breathe it.

Commitment.

Industrial Fans.

Coach Aina Body Camp - http://coachaina.com/body-camp/ 

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

It is not enough to know something intellectually.  Our intellect is limited, so very limited.  We can read books, we can have conversations, write poetry, blogs and books but until you live your ideas, your words, your thoughts all of that intellect is just smoke.  Poof, it can go in an instant, and often does, when life throws us a curve ball.  I have seen all sorts of people espouse love, joy, and self-fulfilling prophecy talk only to be handed a dramatic situation and fall apart from top to bottom.  I have seen the philosophy of man become a song and dance routine when life becomes a bit too real.  It is time to live differently, not just speak differently.  It is time to own your power instead of giving it away.

Saying you understand manifesting and then saying shitty things to yourself is counterproductive, unless what you really want are shitty things.  Knowing, intellectually, that things happen for a reason and then refusing to see the benefit of all things in your life, including losing your job, a loved one, money, having an accident, breaking up with someone, etc. is a sure way to be in conflict with the universe and yourself.  This may be hard for those who feel that there is a right and a wrong and that it is wrong to expect grace in situations that are difficult, or expect composure when life is hard.  How about looking at it like this, life IS.  That is all.  It happens all the time in every way.  We put judgment on it and say it is difficult when what is actually happening is we aren't trusting that this is what we need in order to learn, grow, blossom and know.  Imagine actually living the words "things happen for a reason."  Imagine having that be a daily acceptance, a moment to moment understanding, a belief, your truth.

You can have a different life without anything outside of you changing.  You can have a more purposeful existence without ever asking someone to do something different.  You can be a happier, more contented person when you shift your understanding.  You can live the life of your dreams when you take away the intellect and you replace it with action, with doing, with living.  We think and think and think and it gets us nowhere so often.  Live, do, decide to accept your power, the power of others, the truth of the universe and stay curious.  When you are curious about what is happening instead of intellectualizing it, you can gather up the juicy goodness that exists in all things, people and experiences.

Have fun if you want to,

xo

a

No Know

Hello, What is it in us humans that makes it easier to believe that we know it all instead of understanding that we know so little that to use the word know is actually humorous?  Knowing belies the fact that we are actually just gathering from our experience.  As our experiences increase our knowing shifts.  So how is it that we know anything and why is it important that we do?  Maybe it is just semantics, but words are important.  The first meaning of know is to be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information.  The second is to have knowledge or information concerning.  The last definition and the one that most people use when they are using the word know; to be absolutely certain or sure about something.  This last definition is what most people are thinking when they use the word know.  Absolute certainty is something that just isn't absolute.  We have all been sure about a lover, a job, a choice only to have time show us otherwise.  Knowing isn't all it is cracked up to be.

We get a sense of security when we can say that we know.  Knowledge feeds our egos and helps us believe that we are somehow in control and dominate our surroundings.  When we feel absolutely sure about something we get this feeling of comfort and familiarity.  It feels good to know.  Our response to what we don't know, or the unknown, tells you how scary it is to go farther than we have.  When you open yourself up to not knowing it is possible to discover that knowledge is less important than curiosity.  You might discover that knowledge is actually a trick to stop magic from happening.  Our dogged desire to understand, to predict, to control keeps us from seeing the fairies, spirits and different dimensions that exist.  Because we feel that it is necessary to be absolutely certain about things in order for them to be true we lose so much experiential information.  Is it true that you love your cat or dog.  Can you be absolutely certain about it; can anyone else?  Knowledge is a distraction, a hurdle, something to get over having to feel.

knowing-gods-will

What if you looked at the world with curiosity?  What if instead of knowing you observed patterns, you had ideas, you didn't know?  What if you recognized that knowledge is always and forever changing, therefore absolutes weren't possible.  What if you stepped out of your comfort zone; how would you experience the world then?  Knowledge is a limitation.  Being open to not knowing is an invitation.  We couldn't possibly, with our limited senses, know anything for certain.  We can't even see in the dark, let alone things we don't know exist.  Everyday you learn something new, something that prior to that moment you didn't know.  If knowing was a relationship we would all be polyamorous, we change our knowing so often.

Accept the invitation to trust that we are always learning, exploring and expanding.  Trust that you don't need to know for sure to believe that all is possible.  Try it, see what comes.

xo

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