To Not Follow

Hey Hey! So many people are unhappy with their lives… Be honest, what would you change if you won the lotto? Would you keep your job? Would you stay with your partner? We keep doing what we keep doing and never stop to think about how most people feel the same… and people make up the rules. Well, I am a people you are a people, what the hell PEOPLE??!! Why are we repeating the same sh*t over and over? What if we finally woke up and did something different? What would happen? What if the ones that make the rules, "us", made different rules? Do we actually believe that there is no better system than what we live in. It is like we are in an abusive relationship and we refuse to see a way out of it. We don't enjoy how we live yet we refuse to change it???

The next best part of this is that we teach our children to live the lives we loathe, to some extent. We show them that we are ok with not being ok and that this is the only way. Our children grow up believing that they are supposed to follow in our footsteps. How are we ever going to bring about change if we teach our kids to do the same things we did? What about giving them the insight to go another way, to forge a new path, possibly better and certainly different. There are so many choices, so many ways to go… yet we force our ideas of right and wrong (even though the right way tends to be the unhappy way) on them with no regard for the idea that we don't know much of anything really. What if we told our children what we really thought, felt and desired? What if we let them know the pitfalls of following the crowd, what if we demonstrated to them what it was like to do what made their hearts sing instead of making their pockets fat. What if we changed how we went about running businesses and got back to doing trades. What if we figured out a new way to operate and created a different system to work under. What if we believed that there was something more, something better that we have yet to discover?

Our egos, fear and expectations keep us from sharing our true selves with one another. If we were to get real and say what we really felt, their would be a lot more unity I believe. We hide, lie, and suppress our feelings so much that we begin believing that we have no choice with how things are. In 400 years will we still be punching a clock and pushing papers or typing emails all day? What is the point? Seriously? What are we working towards? What do you want your future to look like if you won the lotto? What would you want to do with your days, day in and day out? Teach this to your children, tell this to you friends, write about it in your blog. Speak your desires… the universe will listen and so will everyone around you. You can totally live a life you dream of if you dare to dream.


xo a

If You Want It

Hi there, If you want to do something do it… you don't have to be perfect at it or know what you are doing, really… just do it. If you want to write, for example, then write. Write your dreams, write your stories, write your hopes and write your fears. Write about other people, write about yourself, make up stories and speak your facts. If you want to dance, dance… everyday. Put music on, move your body, keep moving your body. Dance every chance you get. If you want to sing, sing in the shower, in your car, living room or kitchen. Sing when you are sad, sing when you are happy, sing when you are walking down the street. Sing when you are working out, sing when you are chillin. If you want to do something you don't yet know how to, you are going to have to 'just do it' as they say.

We hesitate, we come up with reasons why we cannot start something now, we lie, we manipulate and we become dictated by our fears. Our fears consist of not being good at what we are learning to do, not being good at what we are learning to do and oh, yes, not being good at it yet. Ok, so now that you know what you are afraid of, do it anyway. You most likely won't be good at it until you practice whatever you are learning, over and over again. Part of being new at something is making mistakes. Those mistakes you make early on are the building blocks of mastery which you will reach later if you keep on practicing. We also miss out of living the life of our dreams because of a lack of faith. We sometimes believe that things are too good to be true and/or we don't deserve all the great things. Instead of giving you examples of why those ideas are loads of sh*t, I will just tell you, those ideas are loads of sh*t. You deserve the abundance that is available to us all, no doubt about it.

The biggest hurdle to achieving anything is doing it where you are now; not waiting for the right time to strike. If you want it go get it. I remember wanting to write, for years. The second biggest hurdle to achieving what you dream of, practicing what you what you dream of doing, all of the time. Behave like you really want to know, like you really want to learn. No more excuses, get going, have at it. You are wasting time doing things that aren't your dream if you know what you want and aren't running it down. If you aren't sure about your dreams or have been, up to this point, afraid of voicing them, let that go. Put words to your desires and then put action to those words. Yours is a life that is waiting to be lived.




Totally You

Hiya, If you are going to change the world you may not always be well received. Hell, even if you are not trying to change the world, someone will take issue with you at some point. You cannot, if you plan on living longer than a few days, get through life without someone feeling some sort of way that isn't all lollipops and fairies about you. You will have to figure out how to manage triggering someone, being triggered by someone and being liked and disliked for no apparent reason. To top it all off, if you plan on truly being your authentic self you may need to practice being independent in because authenticity, if you have come to it later in life (past the age of 30) you will lose those who enjoyed you when you weren't in touch with who you truly are.

First you must realize that we are all here for a reason. You may not want to think that because it means you need to figure out your reason and this can seem daunting. Your reason can be one singular thing or it can be everything you are ever associated with. The truth of the matter is it is all of the above. Your reason is everything you come into contact with, directly or indirectly. Nothing you interact with is by chance or mistake. Think about it. Our cells do everything on purpose; every function in our body is because of something else that has come before it… at no point does a cell say that its division had no meaning. We are made up of these purposeful beings, how in he world could what we do be by chance or just because?

So, now that you understand you are here on purpose, go and be. Be fully yourself without concern that you aren't doing it right. You are doing it exactly how it is meant to be done by you. When you feel the need to change, for whatever reason, you will and it will be good; until then you may need to understand why you aren't always loved for being you, or supported for that matter… even by those you love. People are wounded, sensitive and afraid; they are also brainwashed. We live in a world where people believe that it is unpatriotic to question the government that was brought into existence to serve us; where we believe that we are separate from one another and some are better than others. When someone in this pack of wolves decides to do what resonates with them despite what the pack feels about it there will be some discomfort, to say the least.

There is no greater reward than being accepted for who you truly are; no greater struggle either. When you open yourself to not fitting in, to doing what makes sense to your soul, not your intellect, you will begin the journey that is paved with love, lifted by wings and filled with light. It is your road to yourself and, in that, the road to all of us. Let people hate, tell you that you need to change, feel insecure, defensive and downright insulted that you refuse to do what they think you should; then, keep on stepping cause you are doing something right.




What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.    

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Having Many Talents.

Being Ready.  


Social Media.

Early Mornings.

Coach Aina Body Camp - http://coachaina.com/body-camp/ 

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Take your time.  Breathe.  Let your feelings come to the surface?  What are they?  How often do you check in with yourself?  How often do you just let things be what they are.  We are so busy racing around, doing this, doing that; in this meeting, and that event.  When do you allow time to pass while checking in with yourself and allowing feelings to move through you…?  Better yet, how often do you sit with an idea, an intention and block everything else out and let only what you will in?

What are you running away from?  What keeps you from spending time with you, thinking, feeling, getting down to what is happening under the surface and deeper.  If you never stop to find out how will you move through it, beyond it?  How will you find peace if you aren't willing to look at what is disrupting it inside of you?  Spend consistent time with yourself letting the thoughts come and observing them, not judging them and acknowledging them.  You are the first person in your life you are in relationship with.  Your feelings matter for you.  Your ideas, thoughts, desires and inclinations are important to you.  When you aren't aware of what any of those are it is difficult to truly meet your own needs, let alone have anyone else try to really support you.

You don't need to sit in that place of observation forever.  At some point during your mandatory "you" time you can put your energy into what you want to become, what you want to bring into your life.  Cutting out all of the extraneous chatter and bringing in only what you want to hear, see… what serves you and your highest good.  The practice of focusing your mind and relaxing your mind allows you to do both at will.  We are absolutely lazy when it comes to our thoughts and mental ability.  It is time to shape up mentally in the same way we shape up physically… by practicing everyday.  Anything you want to change, anything you want to create takes energy, takes you seeing it into existence.  Do the work and the work will be done.




Hi there, You will be ok.  If you push harder, sweat more, sleep less and go farther you will survive.  We have such a distorted idea of what we are capable of.  If you want to be successful, if you want to reach a goal you are going to need to suck it up and go for it.  Wake up.  WAKE UP!!!!  When things go wrong you figure out how to manage your life around trying to get them to go right… right?  What if you controlled what you could control… like movement, thoughts and behavior.  What if you created habits that supported a lifestyle that supports life?  What if you stopped doing things that sucked energy; things that don't feed your soul, healed your body and broadened your mind?  Do you know what is possible, do you know where your limit is?

I can tell you that you don't know your limits unless you have already figured out how to fly; to just elevate like a ghost.  If you haven't gotten to that point yet you are still at the "I have no f*ing idea what my potential is" point.  And… if you do know how to fly then you understand that we are limitless.  If you decide to work at something with drive, determination, unrelenting discipline you will master it.  You are not limited by who your mom or your dad is, what your bloodline says, or what anyone else in your family has or has not done.  You are only held back by your beliefs; your believing that you are limitless limits you.  Your believing that your family history determines your future is unbelievably damaging to your journey towards flight.  If you want to be a dancer, dance.  If you want to be a writer, write.  If you want to be an amazing lover, love, communicate, practice.  Whatever you see as amazing in someone else you can be too.  Seriously.

I want to be stronger, faster, fitter.  I work at it daily.  I want to be the best DJ that I have heard of.  I work at it daily.  I want to be a proficient, consistent and relevant writer.  I write everyday.  When you want something you need to go after it.  When you see someone living a dream that you wouldn't mind living, at least your version of it, work for it.  When you want to bring something into your world or take something out, make the decision.  That is the secret.  Deciding to do something different, something more, something daring and something you never dared to do will automatically make it a possibility.


Sometimes you just have to make a choice.  Make one that scares you, that takes you farther than you are presently, that challenges your very idea of who you are or ever could be.  Then watch the magic happen, while you sweat your ass off going after it.



You Never Know

HI there, I grew up in Cleveland, OH on the westside in Riverside Projects.  Now, I don't know why it was called riverside because the only thing we were next to was an airport.  Ok, not directly next to it, but planes would come so low overhead that I felt like I was going to be hit by one.  I became so scared of a plane missing its landing and hitting our house that I started freaking out about death in general.  I remember that I was more afraid of the plane hitting the house when I was in situations that I thought would be compromising.  I really never wanted to be found on the toilet, dead, so I would get nervous when I went to the loo.  That fear passed and would come back here and there.  We lived at Riverside for 13 years.


When we finally moved out of Cleveland and out of the projects we went to North Carolina.  We had high hopes to live in the house my mother was raised in, restore it, and live a life farming, loving each other and living dreams we hadn't dared to dream yet.  When we arrived we were greeted with an unwelcoming committee (my mother's uncle who, like a lot of her family have a chip and are simply an unhappy lot).  We moved into the projects of Dunn, NC and it started again; save for this time we were in 102 degree heat in the middle of a little town that wasn't at all familiar to me.  I struggled through depression for years in NC.  It was some of the darkest days (until my early 20's) that I had experienced.

During the time I spent in the projects, which was up until I was 14 basically, no one ever asked me if I was going to college or truly cared about what I would do with my life.  It was assumed that life was pretty much decided for me… I would probably have babies early and repeat a cycle that I was actually not a part of, but believed to be because everyone is a fuck up in the projects living off of welfare, right?  Well, my mother had me when she was 31 and grew up middle-class.  She didn't finish college but she is off the charts IQ-wise and had a strong sense of self-worth.  She had/has shitty taste in men (yep, my father is great in ways and not in others) and ended up raising her babies alone.  It is not an easy thing, being a single parent, and so she lived where she could afford and did what she needed.  I am glad because I am a badass because of it.

You never know what someone has gone through to get to where they are.  You never know the journey it takes to live the life someone is living.  We assume so many things about each other and never stop to ask questions, to be curious.  I went to college and have traveled the world, I am able to relate to any and everyone because I am everyone.  I see myself in the person on the street begging, the woman about to get her child that is crying after waking up from a nap, and the President of a Fortune 500 company.  I know that the idea of separateness that we hold so dear and we believe keeps ups so safe actually does more harm than anything else.  And, at the same time, without all of the rejection, discrimination and classism I have experienced I wouldn't be the compassionate soul that I am today.

Before you decide that you know something about someone you have never met or someone who you have; before you look at statistics instead of individual people; before you write someone off because they aren't familiar to you; before you get all f*cking judgmental think about me or someone else you know that defied odds, ignored statistics, who wouldn't quit.  Maybe your kindness, your inspiration is just what they need to move forward.  Then again, maybe your being an ass is what they need to move forward too.  Either way, evolution, development and growth are happening for all of us at different rates in different ways.  You don't have to be open to the variety of ways there are to get somewhere but life sure is more exciting when you do.

For my part, I am going to inspire.  It is more fun.  What are you going to do?



Be Honest

Hey there, When was the last time you asked yourself the tough questions?  When was the last time you asked yourself what you would change if there were no yucky repercussions?  Have you ever asked yourself a question like that?  So many people are so afraid of truth that they won't even let it into their own heads.  As soon as something that doesn't fit within their idea of what they should do, feel, think or say pops up they push it down.  When your own truth is too scary to acknowledge consciously it begins to find its way to the surface unconsciously.  You will have to deal with your feelings, your actual thoughts and wishes one way or another.  

The truth is you cannot get away from what you really want, think or feel.  You will have to address it at some point.  The resistance of it ensures that it will grow stronger until you have nothing but that thing you have been trying to deny.  It is not a mind over matter situation when it comes to denial.  Even the reasons we give for never wanting to admit to what we are thinking, feeling, desiring.  Relationships could change (will change), lifestyles might have to shift, you may have to get used to letting go of what you once thought made you, you.  Finally owning up to what is actually happening for you holds a lot of weight and some of that may be frightening.  Let me assure you that only great things truly come from owning and accepting all of who you are, even the parts of you you still choose not to share.  

There is nothing like being able to answer the tough questions without running from them.  In order to live the life of your dreams you will have to admit what your dreams truly are.  You may have to admit that your life, as it is, is not what you would truly pick for yourself anymore.  Owning this fact doesn't mean you have made any mistakes, it doesn't mean that you did anything wrong.  Knowing what you really want, feel and think allows you to align your life up so that you are truly happy.  When you no longer have to deny what you feel inside you can get busy living your fullest most authentic life.  When you are honest with yourself you can be honest with others.  When you are honest about who you are, what you want and where you are going you will have a much easier time being who you are, getting what you want and getting to where you are going.  Life is what you make it… so make it what you really would like it to be.  




Wait For It


Hey there,

There is a moment that you break through.  There is.  It comes, it really does.  You just need to be patient.  Be patient and deliberate.  Be patient and consistent.  Be patient in your belief, your humanness.  Take your time, there is no rush, no race.  There is only the moment that you are in.  Each one is unique and magical.  Each one holds limitless possibility.  Each one moment contains the universe.  Because each moment is so big and moves so quickly it is imperative that you be still in your movement.  Instead of racing forward or trying so desperately to put yourself in reverse, breathe it in, deeply.  Take the moment as the miracle it is and watch as each moment unfolds into the next.  Watch as you unfold into the you you choose to be.  

We so often give up on what we say we want.  We stop working towards our goals, we give up on our dreams.  We punish ourselves for taking a zigzag path to our destination.  We choose to believe that we aren't worth investing in so we stay stuck.  We would rather put our time and money into someone else or into someone else's dream before we threw ourselves completely into whatever it is that we desired.  We will even begin on our path, dedicated and excited, full of hope and possibility only to make a few changes and get discouraged that we aren't moving faster.  How far do you expect to go if you give up?  How long is too long to keep at it?  If you have never reached your goal before how long do you think it will take to get there?  It will take as long as it does, but you will get there if you never give up.  

I have a goal of 1000 push-ups in a day… not at once, but in one session over a couple of hours max.  I remember when it was a struggle to do 300 push-ups (about 5 days ago) and I thought about taking a day off.  It is funny because I truly get frustrated with how many people think that they need a day off of movement.  People, you sit on your ass most of the time… you don't need a day off.  WTF!?  Seriously.  Days off are why you are all jacked up in the first place.  Maybe you won't run 20 miles every day but you can certainly sweat everyday.  Make your days off infrequent and special.  Not regular.  Seriously.  I could care less how many people have been told that their bodies need time to recover.  You have 23 hours of recovery every day.  Get your butt up and move.  Ok, rant over.  So, back to thinking about a day off… I thought it and then I was like, give me a break!  I said to myself, lovingly, SUCK IT UP!  I got on my floor and pressed out the best 300 push-ups I had done so far.  It was at that moment, like so many others I have experienced, that I recalled what it takes to succeed.  You have to do what you don't want to.  You have to go through the fire.  You may need to forgo sleep, hang out time, your favorite restaurants, habits that you thought you couldn't live without; you may need to change jobs, living environments, or let go of some people.  You may need to change every single thing if you want something absolutely amazing and new to exist for you.  

The main thing you will have to do while you work your ass off, while you dedicate yourself to the steps towards your goals, while you bring your dreams to fruition is….

Wait for it.




There Is More

Howdy! I rowed all four years in college.  It was an amazing time and I can honestly say that so much of my philosophies on life are based on my years as a competitive rower.  I learned about myself, what is possible or at least what was possible in the moments that existed then, about others, about stress, joy and love, and about perseverance.  I had never done team sports before college so I was new to competing in a structured environment so it took me a few months to get my feet underneath me.  When I did finally get a glimmer of the possibility I became the strongest female rower (as far as erg times) on both the varsity and novice teams.  I was on top and, because I am competitive, was determined to stay there.

I had a 3.5 years left as a college rower once I reached the top so I had to figure out how to handle the new rowers coming up in order to keep my seat and status as numero uno.  I worked out over the summers, I lifted with friends, I did the extra work that I needed to stay strong.  I worked on my mental toughness, I tested and sent scores into the US Rowing Team to stay motivated.  I also found motivation with the rowers around me.  During tests the top ergers would generally sit next to one another for motivation.  I would make sure that I was always a few seconds faster than the next fastest rower.  It was easy to pace off of someone and to just do enough to stay on top.  It worked and I wasn't topped until I was gone.

Most people compare themselves with others around them to see if they are cutting the mustard.  We are a competitive society after all.  Competition isn't in and of itself and issue, it is how we compete and what meaning we give to the results that end up being problematic.  So often I hear people saying that they eat better than the people they know, they work out more, they are smarter than, more helpful, and so on and so on.  I hear people in various positions saying that they are the best this or that.  You can believe that you are the best, or that you are better or whatever but you always need to be aware of the pool you are comparing yourself against.  If you are the fittest person at your job and you live in the United States, chances are that isn't so hard to do.  Most Americans are obese (40lbs overweight), so being the healthiest is rather simple.  Falling into this line of thinking can be tricky because you stop striving for your best and just look to being the best in comparison to those around you.  Your best is then limited by who you are competing against.  

Well, I get it, I did it and it wasn't until I graduated and began training on my own that I discovered true competition and true success.  When I began training in a single sculling boat I no longer had the team to compare myself to.  I was now a small fish in an ocean and the games were just beginning.  I realized that all I could ever use as a meter to base my success on was the person I was the day before; use the scores from yesterday, three days ago, last week or last month.  I was my competition, I was my motivation.  It wasn't until I realized this that I became great.  I began to challenge what I thought was possible by digging deeper within myself, by going farther than I had the day before, by understanding that there were no limits, really.  When I stopped competing I started winning.  

Everyday I try to push myself farther in some way or another.  I take praise from others as a sign of love and admiration but I don't let it go to my head, ever.  I never believe that I am at the top of my game.  If I believed that I would stop working harder, going farther, dreaming bigger.  I refuse to stop because I am ahead… I never believe that to be the case anyway.  I am always in the middle of the pack, working to see what I couldn't see before, working to be where I never was before.  

Instead of comparing yourself to others, ask yourself if you are working hard and doing your best in the moment.  Dream BIG.  Set your sights on something you think is unattainable and then steadily attain it.  Why not?  It isn't about anyone else, it is about yourself, your potential, your exploration of who you really are and can be.  It isn't about losing or winning it is about stepping outside of the hamster wheel and feeling the real freedom of success.  Going beyond what is expected, not letting others' ideas of what can be dictate your life and what you do.  Truly live your life to it's fullest regardless of the lives being lived around you.



Number 1


Hey there, What would you do if you won the lotto?  If you won a jackpot of $275 million dollars after taxes, what would you do?  What line of work, where would you live, how would you go about your daily life?  What would you change and what would stay the same?  I know that I have asked myself this question countless times.  Sometimes the only upgrades I would make have to do with my living space and other times I want to do a complete overhaul.  Where are you on that spectrum?  Are you pretty groovy with most things or would hitting the jackpot create a new world for you, happier and yummier (you hope)?  


First note anything you would want to get rid of.  Write it down.  Look at it… say it aloud.  It is important to note that we all know what isn't working in our worlds.  You may have written down anything from leaving a partner to living in another country.  You could have simply written down that you would only change your debt status.  Whatever the area that you are willing to drop like a hot potato if money wasn't an object needs to be dropped anyway.  You sometimes have to get out of your own way to see that you know what you need and/or what needs to leave.  

We love to tell ourselves that we are stuck in a situation and that there is no way out.  We find every reason that never truly is good to stay in something that isn't working.  Maybe a part here and there satisfies you in some way, but truly, when you are doing something that takes from you, what is the point?  How much money is your soul worth?  How much pain and frustration is your life deserving of?  How long do you need to be discontent before you refuse to be discontent?  At some point it is ok to let go of things that aren't fulfilling you completely.  We tell ourselves that if we had the money then we could do blah blah blah.  We say that if he or she did this or that then a, b, c and d would get done or be better.  We think that we have to be fit to do something challenging.  We think we have to have a certain environment to take better care of our health.  There is always some reason that we don't do what we know we want to do now.  When will you run out of excuses?

Asking yourself what you would do if you won the lotto is a great way to check your true desires.  We often judge what we want before we ever let ourselves or anyone else here it.  This judgement is often based on financial matters or what others may think of you.  Find out what your true desires and motivations are.  This is where happiness is.  Once you line your life up with your love, magic happens.  No amount of money will trump waking up in the morning and not needing to win the lotto to feel like a winner.



What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.    

 This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Setting Goals.

Getting Older.

Late Night Work Outs.


Every Day.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I was recently told that I wasn't being fair for expecting someone to be unrelenting when it came to doing their work.  By "their work" I mean taking the utmost care of themselves in every way each and every day.  Well, I am not here to be fair.  Cancer isn't fair, MS isn't fair, AIDS isn't fair, mental illness isn't fair, nervous breakdowns aren't fair so how in the hell am I supposed to be fair when I am working to move people to a place where they can let go of concern around experiencing those not fair things?  When you are asking for help how does fair play a role?  When you are on the verge of falling into a deep dark chasm, how does fair play into helping you out of it when it was you who put yourself there?  At the point where you are falling, you need to be caught by any means necessary.  

I am not here to be fair.  I am here to make things happen.  If you want to get beyond where you have been then you will deal with the fact that doing something different will be challenging.  You will need to recognize that you haven't been the best at taking care of yourself in the past and you need some guidance around it.  Let your ego in on this fact so it can chill the hell out.  If your ego was of sound mind and body you wouldn't be in the situation you are in now.  It is what it is… and it isn't bad or good.  Embrace where you are so you can get moving if you desire to.  

If you have been hurting yourself for 25, 35, 50 years you have some work to do and it isn't going to be a 6 week boot camp or a 10 day juice fast, or 30 days of meditating that will do it.  You have to work, daily, on many levels.  You have to do work when no one is around, when you don't want to do it, when you are sick, tired, on vacation, with friends, or at work.  You will have to do work the rest of your life.  You will need to change your life if you would like your life to change.  

So, what does fair have to do with a damn thing?  Life isn't fair and neither am I.  I am, however, really good at getting results, so suck it up and get it done.



Go Get It

Holla! What are you willing to do to get what you want?  Seriously?  Are you ready to stop making excuses and actually accomplish what you want to?  So many things start with the reasons why you cannot.  What if you shifted your focus on the reasons you could do something.  What is it you want to accomplish?  What dreams do you have?  We have a million reasons why we don't do what we are truly hankering to do.  

Some of the reasons/excuses are: 

Not enough time, not enough money, not enough support, don't know where to start, too busy, not good at what you want to do, family or friends think it is stupid, too many people doing it already, desire to have a certain outcome, afraid of seeming selfish, you don't know what you want and many more.  This list is in no way a complete one.  There are many, many more excuses that I am sure you can come up with.  Regardless of the nature of the reason/excuse there are no ones that actually can hold a candle to the truth.  The truth is, of course there is no reason you cannot succeed at your dreams.  You are absolutely capable of doing whatever you set your mind to and are willing to work for.  The issue is with your excuses and your actual desire to be somewhere you aren't yet.

When you want something bad enough you won't stop to get it.  When you want your dreams as much as you want food to eat when you are starving, warmth when you are freezing, air when you cannot breathe, or love when you are desperate and lonely, you will stop at nothing make them a reality.  You won't worry about whether you got enough sleep or if someone thinks you are selfish for pursuing your dreams.  You will stop saying you don't have enough time and will use the time you used to use making excuses to get closer to realizing your dreams.  When you are done with the reasons you cannot you will only have the reasons you can…When you want something else more than what you have in this moment, you are well on your way.

I have always wanted to write consistently.  When I graduated from college I promised myself that I would write regularly.  It took me over a decade and a half to make that happen, but it happened when I was done with not having that dream be a part of my life.  It doesn't matter if I want to get sleep, I want to write more.  It doesn't matter if I am missing seeing my friends, I have a dream that needs my attention and I will give it that until it grows into what I know it can be.  Nothing and no one will get in the way of my bringing my dreams into this world.  There is no reason good enough to stop me from being happy.  No excuse valid enough for me to abandon what I truly want for myself.  My dreams are not about pleasing or making others comfortable.  It is about me doing what I want and loving it.  That is pure love, that is happiness. 

So, what did you say you wanted?

world fingers



I Want...


I want to do 1000 push ups daily and a million other physical feats that I will keep listing here and there.  I want to be a superhero and pole dance like Jenyne Butterfly.  I want to be able to be able to just lift off of the ground and hover until I decide to go somewhere, and then I want to just be there, in a flash.  I want to be able to pick everyone up around me and swing them like when they were little and loved to be held.  I want to give back massages to the masses and then free them from their desk jobs like freeing frogs from freshman biology lab.  I want to show people what life could be like if they loved themselves and enjoyed each and every moment, even when it was hard.  I want so many things and they are all valid and wonderful and possible.  

 You want things too.  You do.  You want to keep your relationship steamy and delicious.  You want to have work that you consider fun and forget that you get paid.  You want to feel worthy and deserving all of the time.  You want to be fearless unless it is necessary for your safety.  You want to be loved and be love.  We all do.  There are a lot of other things that you want that you refuse to admit to.  We censor so much of ourselves, judge it really.  We spend so much time deciding that what we want, what we desire is something that is impossible, not cool, acceptable or important that we forget that we create all of this, everything around us.  Someone somewhere decided that smells should be sprayed and we have perfume and air freshener.  Another person thought it would be cool to jump out of  a plane and not die… tada: the parachute was born!  Better yet, someone or something imagined us into existence and here we are.  Now, how do we go from the amazing miracles that exist in our everyday to believing that we cannot have what we want??

Look around, how many things can be explained to the source.  Really.  Even the idea of God… where, how, why?  Where does God come from?  Where does the universe originate and why?  What is this thing called existence?  If we can be here posing these questions with no certain or universally accepted answer then why can I not fly by just deciding it to be so (and working hard at it)?  Why can't we stop the madness of sitting for hours on end hating what we do and create a different paradigm?  Why do we keep doing the things that someone made up that we don't like?  Make something new up.  Seriously.  

I am going to keep on stating my wants loudly and proudly.  You never know who is listening and can help you bring your wants into reality.  Speak them for yourself, be unafraid and have fun.  This is life, no one is going to get out of it alive so what do you have to lose?



ps - Two videos for your pleasure :)

Jenyne Butterfly being amazing: http://youtu.be/waIuhfoTMv8

Tee Major doing some pretty awesome shizznit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POdzasJklxw


Hey sweets, imagine 2

Quick answer these questions:  How would you describe yourself?  What are the most awesome things about you?  What do you bring to a situation that you enter into (take your pick on the situation)?  If you are stumbling over answering any of these questions, or would prefer not to, we have some work to do.  I am going to make a wild guess (honestly not at all wild, but you got my sarcasm I am sure) that you could answer these questions without hesitation:  What are the things you need to fix or work on about yourself?  What are your least yummy qualities?  What would you change about you if you had 3 wishes?  

It is interesting how we can find the issues with ourselves way quicker than we can find what is fantastic and amazeballs.  I have a hard time finding my areas of concern… mainly because I really enjoy all of me.  Imagine what that feels like, to enjoy who you are.  You wake up in the morning and you remember you are who you are and you smile.  You are excited because you get to be this person all day.  She is fun, funny, exuberant, energetic, healthy, active, loving and curious.  She expects the best and most days gets it.  She knows that anything is possible, that everything happens for a reason and that nothing is permanent.  She is on her way and the way is the point.  Imagine embodying that plus other delicious feelings, ideas, theories, etc.  How hard would it be to worry, fear, dread, and lament?  Pretty damn hard… and pretty damn useless.  

First, find out what your light (you are light so find out more about yours) does when it enters a room.  Does it get brighter, dimmer, is it turned off or is it shining on everything like the sun or the moon.  Discover what people enjoy about you and see if it is the same thing or things you enjoy about you.  Find out who you are when you are at your best… whatever you consider your best to be.  Spend time asking yourself questions like you are actually interested in finding out the answer.  Treat yourself like a beautiful stranger you would love to spend the rest of your life with.  Have fun with you, learning you, catering to you and your every need.  Then wake up to the you you would want to be… every day work to be all of the things you know about you that you love.  Honestly, it isn't hard, you just need to be intentional about it.  You cannot expect to get to the place where each morning you fall in love all over again with yourself if you are not willing to wake up and do whatever it is that is necessary to enjoy, cherish and appreciate all of you.  

We are very, very special and deserve to be focused on completely.  You aren't ever going to get the kind of love you can give from anyone else. Why are you withholding?  Why are you hesitant to let it pour out of you into you and out again?  We need everyone feeling special and great and loving unconditionally.  Imagine if the world had all the love we are holding onto like there was no more to go around?  Imagine if you took absolute wonderful care of you?  What would that look like, how would that feel… how free would we all be?




Ending and Beginning

Howdy, Relationships are so rich with so much information it is hard to know where to start when I begin writing about any aspect of them.  I mean, relationships are life after all and there is just so much life all around.  Then I remember that I say one phrase almost every day to someone, "no good relationship comes to an end."  In all honesty, it is what I want everyone to think about when they are either breaking up or in a relationship that is heading that direction.  Breaking up is painful on so many levels, but it doesn't have to be… I promise you.  Yes, you will lose what is familiar and what is comfortable.  Yes you will have to adjust to a new way of life without that relationship… but leaving something that wasn't good… well, that is awesome!  

Two people do not sit around and think how f*cking amazing their relationship is and then decide to break-up.  It isn't like anyone has said, "oh my goodness, I am just so happy and this is just so great I have to get away from it.  I cannot be in this great relationship any longer."  Umm, yeah, no.  If you are wanting out there is good reason.  At the same time, when you are wanting out and finally say so, that is a big deal.  Ending what you initially wanted to last forever (most people don't get in a relationship and look forward to the ending before anything is not working) says you have given it some thought, lots of thought, and you have decided that it isn't what you want.

I feel that people's desires need to be respected.  I have been dumped plenty of times, thank goodness.  I, at no point, imagine that someone should hang onto me because of anything other than their desire to.  When that wanes I would prefer for them to let me go.  I don't desire anyone "sticking it out" with me for the sake of my awesomeness… seriously.  I want mutual joy, love, and respect.  The issue is, for most of us, we get used to our relationships being sh*tty.  We dream of something that isn't, the future, and we ignore the messed up present.  We put all of our stock in things working out when the moment you are in it isn't.  Relationships aren't always ecstasy bringing, but you need to be happy and not hoping for change in order to truly sustain one.  

Do you want your relationship to end in a blaze of hell fire?  Well, be someone you aren't, never speak your mind, never ask the hard questions of your partner, stop having sex, stop taking care of yourself (or never start), imagine you are too good to be left, think that your partner needs you too much to let you go, put your hopes and dreams away somewhere and pretend like they don't exist.  

Do you want your relationship to survive?  Well, don't most of us… the best thing to do is to be honest with yourself and then with your partner.  Tell them the truth of who you are and what you can an cannot hold.  Be authentic and stay present.  This is all a journey and it takes twists and turns… some are fun and some are not.  They all can be learning experiences and survivable.

For anyone going through a breakup I send love and peace and strength.  This is not bad, it is necessary… you will love again.




Order Up!

mentalclarity1 Hiya,

There are signs everywhere, information is abundant.  At no point are you dangling alone in the universe.  I know it seems like it sometimes.  You find yourself feeling confused, frustrated, stuck.  Answers don't seem readily available.  You begin feeling like what you used to know you don't know anymore, what you wanted isn't as appealing, where you are going is no longer set in stone (like it ever was to begin with).  Suddenly you have no idea which way is the right way to move.  You just want answers, direction, clarity. 

Clarity comes with time and practice and sometimes it just comes.  You can look at the universe like a diner, you are the customer that comes in and looks at the menu.  Often you just say "I'll have what they are having" instead of ordering for your own personal needs.  This is your life, you cannot order what someone else is having, it doesn't work that way, and after some time you will be forced to pick your own entrée.  The menu is extensive and you may get tired and overwhelmed while looking through it, oh well.  It is what it is.  You have to go through until you see what is right for you.  There are short order cooks waiting to order up the very thoughts you are having, so be careful, your random unfocused thoughts may not be what you really want, so make your thoughts less random and more focused.  

When you are sitting there, reading the menu the very feeling of being stuck is information.  That is a sign that you may be heading in a direction that isn't best for you.  If you pay attention to feelings or ease, resistance, fear etc.. you will begin to see how much you are actually being shown.  Signs are really all that exist.  You just have to work on being open to them.  Once you begin steps to move towards what you truly want, it is easier to see signs that will help reinforce that you are heading in a direction that your soul has much desire for. 

It is work, the beautiful work of life… your beautiful life.  Take the time and do it.  Open up and see the support that exists all around you.  The signs that you working on what you need and desire is the direction you need to be going.  How many times are you brought back to yourself, in the world?  How often are you made to face yourself?  If there were a bigger sign of you needing to work on you it might be everything disappearing and leaving you alone… think about it.  You are the work, first and foremost.  Take the hint and get started digging in.  



It's Time To Make A Change

Howdy, For over 20 years I have helped people gain control of their nutrition and weight management.  When my clients follow my protocol they get results 100% of the time… and in more ways than they thought they would.  I work on 3 levels, the mind, body and spirit… so no stone is left unturned.  If they are committed to doing the work, the work will be done.  Some of the work is standard and no surprise at all, like conscious eating… then there are the things that are surprising like the fact that some people aren't going to support your weight loss and will try to sabotage you at some point on you journey… and one of those people is sometimes you.

When you decide you want to get fit after years of being out of shape, overweight or both you will be faced with a lot of resistance.  The resistance is fear.  Fear permeates us when we are unhealthy.  Fear vibrations are lower than love vibrations.  Eating processed items, sitting for long periods of time for years on end, thinking things that aren't supportive and doing very little self-love work will cause your vibrations to register low on an energetic scale.  When your vibrations are low, you aren't motivated to make many, if any, changes.  When you do get the gumption to do something different you are up against your brain chemistry that has conditioned responses to what you have been doing, and will resist change if it was up to it; you are up against your regularly scheduled programming, so getting a new routine is daunting.  You are also afraid of judgment, so joining a gym or getting a trainer is big and scary.  Just getting to the point where you can tell people who you are working with someone or doing something is a big hurdle emotionally.  

It is no wonder, then why so many people fail at truly finding the solution to their fitness and weight loss goals.  Not to mention society and the media.  I am all for acceptance, I teach it, preach it, live it.  However, acceptance does not mean no work needed.  Acceptance is where you start to begin changing that which needs improving.  The idea that things don't need improvement is ridiculous.  People go to church to become better people (so they say), people go to therapy to become better equipped to handle their lives, people clean themselves to get clean or improve upon the moment.  Improvement is the nature of life.  We have children and want them to be better off than we were… but as soon as we discuss weight everyone is a-ok and doesn't need to do anything??  We do more damage lying about not wanting to change our bodies than we do changing our bodies.  We oppress more people by saying that it doesn't matter what you look like than we do allowing people to care openly.  Acceptance is the starting point for change… not the end point for life.  When you accept that you are where you are and you want to be where you aren't you can begin the steps needed to make it happen… including getting healthy.


So stop telling people they are big-boned.  No one is big-boned.  Yes, once you have carried excess weight for years and years your femur grows wider to compensate for the force they are under, but no one is born with abnormally big ass bones and then becomes fat.  Stop telling people not to get "too skinny."  Instead tell them that the cheese danish is poison that will end up killing them in the end.  Let them know that the cheeseburger has no nourishment.  Tell them that they look puffy and unhealthy instead of saying that they shouldn't go overboard with working out.  Encourage them to work out, this is what their body needs… this is what their soul needs, this is what will bring them to change, improvement and empowerment.

You have been given a gift, this body that sits reading this… you are the caretaker of a great vessel.  When you take excellent care of this vessel you are able to do amazing and wondrous things with it. It is your servant.  When you neglect it, you become imprisoned by the very thing that is here for you to experience the world with.  Your body becomes the master and you the slave.  Pay attention to the orders that are being shouted out to you from that vessel.  Who is in charge?  Are you afraid to stop eating something because of how it tastes or are you thinking about how you need to be fueled to bring the vibrational levels of this great vessel up?  Where is your focus?  What is your purpose?     

When you decide to make a change know that it may not always be easy, some people may not be helpful, and you may feel like you have been backsliding a little bit.  Just keep on keeping on, you will get to where you dream of eventually.  



I Want It

gettingwhatwant Hi there,

I get what I want.  This is my mantra.  It flows, feels great when I say it and is true.  I say at any point where I feel a sensation of loss.  It works for me because I know what it is that I want.  Wanting is a loaded word and everyone has a feeling about wants when you ask them about it.  Wanting brings up a lot of stuff for most everyone.  You can feel vulnerable and exposed when communicating your wants.  You can feel unworthy and unloved when you are faced with a decision to want something and go after it or let it go.  Wanting can exemplify your feelings about yourself.

So many people tell me that they don't know what they want.  To that I say, poppycock!  You know when you aren't happy, right?  Well, this is an example of you wanting something and not getting it.  Go through your world, sift through your thoughts, check on your memories and see where you were disappointed.  Wherever that feeling of "should have" comes from is an example of you having a want, a desire that wasn't satisfied.  There is no woman or man on the earth without wants.  You spend everyday each day wanting a sh*tload of things.  Pay attention.

Most people try not to want (out loud) because they fear disappointment (which they experience anyway) and don't believe that they can get what they want.  So they pretend to not want anything.  They also don't believe they have the "right" to want what it is they want; especially if their want is up to another person to fulfill.  There are a few things that are flawed about this whole situation… wanting doesn't mean getting.  Wanting is an expression of your desire.  Wanting means you have done the work to find out who you are, what you like and what you would like to have in your life.  Wanting doesn't mean people are going to satisfy your desires… on the contrary.  When you begin to find out what it is you want you will understand that the onus is on you.  You are the only one that will be able to take care of your wants and needs, truthfully.  

When you get to a point where you can want without feeling guilty and instead feeling deserving, you will be in a place of safety that comes from within.  You will not expect from others in the same way and without permission, you will not limit yourself in the same way you have in the past and you will cease being disappointed on the level you end up at this point in your life.  

Want something?  Own that feeling, that desire.  Don't know what you want??  Stop lying to yourself.  Quit telling yourself those stories.  You want a lot, now admit it and get on with getting it.




What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.   

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Vegan Monday Dinners w/Lisa, Lisa.


My Bed.

Conversations w/friends.


There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Dream big… and then get to work on making those big dreams a reality.  So often we think that having an idea is enough.  It is the beginning.  You must first be willing to do the work.  If you want to be fit, trim and healthy you are going to need to do more than dream.  You are going to have to engage in some hard work.  Seriously hard work if what you want is to eat donuts all day.  Truly hard work if your idea of movement is walking the dog.  Dog walking isn't working out, neither is walking to you car, the bathroom, or watching The Biggest Loser.  You don't lose weight by imagining it and you don't reach any of you other dreams by dreaming and then doing nothing.

The dream is the first step, it gives you direction.  The next steps are up to you.  Those steps are all based on where you are right now.  If you have never worked out the steps are going to be quite a bit different than if you are an athlete who took a year off due to an injury.  The biggest similarity across the board, however, is to get started doing something.  You have to make a move, take a step, change the routine.  You have to do something that may not be easy, that may not be comfortable, that may scare you a little.  

Start with the dream, however.  Know that it is possible.  Know that you are capable.  Know that you have to want whatever it is you are going after way more than you want your current state of being.  You must love the dream more than the reality in order for anything to change…  

I know you can get it done.



Here is a hilarious and too honest skit about health and weight loss:  


A Meaningful, Purposeful Calling

Hellllllooooo!  (a type of calling!) A calling, as defined by Merriam-Webster is 1) a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence; 2) the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages; and 3) the characteristic cry of a female cat in heat.  Let's stick with the first two for this entry.  

Most people would love to have a clear calling, an obvious direction to head in, an arrow pointing toward what they were meant (meant: to have in the mind as a purpose) to do.  Meaning, for most everyone, is very important.  The thing is, we aren't actually allowed to place meaning on our own.  When we are born there are already people here who have decided what is and is not important.  So when you are growing up you may have been told not to waste your life doing anything meaningless.  This actually meant to stay away from various things that were undesirable in the eyes of society, your parents, your family.  When so many things are made to be wrong, how does one go about actually discovering their calling, especially if it falls into the "meaningless" category?  

Before we get to that, let's talk about purpose or having in mind a purpose… which in some ways is a calling and others isn't.  Your purpose can be more than one thing (so to for your calling, one can have several and one can have a calling that is broad enough to encompass a variety of ways to fulfill it,  i.e. serving others) and that one thing can be different depending on who is judging it.  You are put here for so many reasons it is nearly impossible to list.  Your purpose is for every relationship you have, all that is learned from your connection with others and all that the others learn from their connection with you.  Your purpose may also be to create space in some way for someone who may never have met you, or for any other seemingly infinite reasons.  Everything matters, so everything has a purpose… even that breath you just took, and that one.  Your sitting reading this blog, or walking and reading, or laying in bed reading it.  You are where you are supposed to be… there is a purpose to every movement and connection you make and every breath that you take.  You don't have to do anything to matter.  By being you are affecting the world.  You are making it something it wouldn't be without you.  So we could conclude that the initial calling for all of us was to come into this world!  Congratulations!!!  You did it!  You found your calling.  Now, where were we.  Oh yes, that other calling… what do we do once we are here???

Well, now you know that you are meaningful.  Hello!  You are nothing but meaning.  You decide the meaning you are to yourself, and others decide what you mean to them.  But meaningless, impossible!  So whatever you do has meaning, it just isn't the same meaning across the world.  Meaning is an opinion and it is very personal.    

So if everything has meaning then how do we get back to a calling?  A calling is the most meaningful to you.  It resonates the most with you.  You find yourself drawn to it.  You vibrate on high when you are engaged in/with/around it.  When you take away the judgment of something having to be meaningful and replace it with the understanding that you cannot do anything that isn't meaningful, you can begin to see that your desire to doodle all of the time may just be what you were meant to do.  Maybe you love popping pimples… somebody has to do it… that could be your calling.  You may enjoy cleaning tables, reading books, changing light bulbs, steaming floors, singing, pantomime, cheering people on, giving massages, cycling, talking, reading, watching, being… your calling could be anything under the sun.  The first step to figuring it out is letting it be heard.  Taking off the earmuffs that we put on or were put on us and letting our souls voice be heard finally.  Your calling could be to search for a calling… and where that journey takes you.  

The most important thing is to let go of what you think your calling should be like, look like, or feel like.  Do what you enjoy, do what brings your soul the most love and happiness and the rest will fall into place.