Check Your Ego



No one is making decisions because of you no matter how much you think they are or want them to. Everyone is moving through the world trying to do things that make them happy, that bring them love, that keep them from feeling sad… mostly.  Yes, many people are eating their emotions, drinking their sorrows, stuffing down their truths but they do so because of the search for joy, love and happiness.  Regardless of how they do it, they are working on giving themselves comfort, period.  So when you are feeling like someone is doing something to you there are a few things that need to shift; the first being your perspective, the second being the drama that you like to create and third, your being bossed around by your ego.  You may be a really lovely human being but you aren't the reason someone is doing anything, even if they say that you are.  You might inspire them, encourage or influence, but you aren't the reason. The reason always originates with the person doing whatever they are doing for themselves, because they benefit in some way, or think that they will.

Ok, let that sink in.  You aren't the reason for other's choices or decisions.  When your ego becomes inflated you begin thinking that you are why someone is happy, unhappy, sad, miserable, etc.  You begin to believe that you somehow cause others to live a life that they wouldn't otherwise.  You may also believe that the choices they make that don't serve you are somehow against you.  Basically, when your ego is inflated everything has to be centered around something you aren't doing, are doing or is being done to or for you.  None of the above is the case, though we use language all the time that reinforce the inflation of ego.  We accuse others of making us feel this or that, we accuse others of making us do one thing or another, and we tell people that they need to be different so we can be different.  We are a society that simply does not take responsibility for what we are responsible for.  Our feelings, our actions and behaviors, our choices are our own, not because of anyone else, really.  Once you are able to own this you can make different ones if you feel that you need to.

Take a moment to think about the choices you made in your life so far.  Now think about the reasons you have made them; eating various things, bringing certain people into your world, letting others go from it; being honest, dishonest or authentic; holding back or pushing forward.  How much of your world was decided by someone else?  If you can see that you are the conductor of your life you can recognize that it is the same for all of us.  When you release the idea that someone is doing something to you and instead understand that they are doing something for themselves you begin to bring your ego down to a size that is manageable and healthy.  We are all doing the best we can at any given moment.  The potential to begin to fully love your life is there when you begin to fully take responsibility for it, and let others do the same.