You Gotta Get You First

Hello, I enjoy being understood therefore I work hard at understanding myself so that I can clearly communicate me to others; and, in that way, I know when they truly understand. I am the expert on me. That is how it works. You are the only one who can figure you out. You are the work that you have been tasked with. Your gateway to everyone else is through you; without digging inward you will find the outside world easy to get lost in. Without understanding your truths, reasons, excuses, motivations, fears, intentions, desires, judgments, needs, hopes and dreams you will find yourself apologizing, being angry, feeling stuck, living dangerously, feeling unsettled, discontented, frustrated, depressed and more not so yummy things. When we refuse, whether consciously or unconsciously, to ignore the work that is before us, we will be pushed in every way possible towards it. There is no way out, only through. There is no way to ignore that we are the key to our joy and our sorrow, the answer to our questions and concerns, the grantor of our hopes and dreams. No one else.

When you feel like you aren't being heard, listen. When you feel like you aren't being understood, seek to understand yourself more. When you realize that you are not getting what you want, give it to yourself. We wait for someone else to figure out what makes us tick, we do our best to get away from who we are, yet we want others to really know us. Really know yourself… when you do there will be no confusion. When you do the work to understand yourself you will discover when you are sabotaging, being hurtful, helpful or careless, loving grateful, positive, etc. You will be able to behave on purpose. When you put energy into getting to know yourself fully you will stop worrying about someone else doing that work for you. When you turn your attention inward you stop allowing people into your world who haven't done their own work. When someone hasn't come to know themselves they will never be able to truly know another. The more you see of yourself the more you are able to see of others.

My understanding myself has allowed me to absolutely connect with others in a way that is deeper than being empathetic, it is a knowing, a full and total connecting with what is happening on a deep and unconscious level. My understanding myself has allowed me to remain happy 99% of the time because I know what works, how I am feeling and why about anything that enters into my realm of existence. Understanding myself allows me to reprogram any ways of thinking that aren't serving me anymore. When we put a ton of energy into denying ourselves, focusing on others or numbing out we end up at the start of the journey, kind of like groundhog's day. Your work pays off when you do it, truly. When you do your work you can address your needs and make sure that they are met; you can pamper yourself, you can practice being disciplined and bring solid structure to your life. You can, ultimately, truly love yourself when you put the time and effort in understanding you fully. It is what we all want, right; that and unconditional love? Show everyone how it is done for you, teach us how to treat you, live as an example of what you want for you. Be that and see it becomes the world that surrounds you.


xo a

To Die For

Hiya, I remember when I knew that there was something that I would die for… not a person, per se… but a cause, a belief.  I remember seeing myself fighting for it, I had a future flash where I was standing in front of people who couldn't believe what I was saying, that I was telling them something that hurt their basic understanding of the world.  I didn't back down, in this vision.  I stood my ground and I communicated, as best I could, why this was such an important viewpoint… how it could and would change the world.  When I finished viewing this flash I felt like I had stepped into my ruby slippers… like I was home.  Everything changed and at the same time everything stayed the same.

When you find out what you are meant to do it can be overwhelming.  You may wonder how you will get from where you are to where you are going.  The steps may not seem obvious to you at first.  The way reveals itself over time and is nothing that needs to be obsessed about.  Finding your calling is like coming home to a place you have never been but know better than you know anything else.  When I realized what I would die for I felt less like celebrating and more like taking a deep breath and moving forward.  At the point where I accepted my fate I started to test out my new surroundings.  I began seeing myself saying things that I wouldn't have said before, putting myself in situations that were familiar but responding to them in a completely new way.  I took my ego out of the driver's seat and into the back seat.  Ego is necessary but does not need to run the show.

Knowing that there is something bigger, something more, and that you are bigger and something more, takes the fear away.  We usually feel fear when we feel small, when we feel lost.  When you take the fear away you have love; lots of it, all of it that you can stuff into your soul and your pockets until it overflows and starts to drown those around you.  When you figure out what matters more than anything, what you were meant to do and what you would be content finishing this experience of being human doing, you realize that everything was just to get you to this feeling, this knowing, this place that, in reality, is the same for everyone… You say potato I say love.  One in the same.  You will find that the only thing that makes sense to give over yourself to is going to be made up of love.

Love would be why I would die and why I will die.  Love brought this experience as Aina about and will end this Aina experience as well.  Love is what I will continue to teach to the masses, in its various aspects, and love is what we all are, where we originated from and what we will return to.  What I saw was me, letting everyone know that we are all deserving, that we are all love, that we will have to begin to head that direction in order to bring about lasting change.  I spoke up for the idea that the souls that sacrifice themselves to be hated in this world by incarnating as tyrants are just as beautiful as the ones who are the victims of the tyrants themselves.  I fought for everyone to accept what is and be open to what is given in each moment.  At some point we will learn that love, not punishment, brings about love and motivates where nothing else will.  Until then I will work tirelessly to awaken others to seeing the divine in their fellow man and, more importantly, in themselves.