choices

Check Your Ego

egoabstract

Hi,

No one is making decisions because of you no matter how much you think they are or want them to. Everyone is moving through the world trying to do things that make them happy, that bring them love, that keep them from feeling sad… mostly.  Yes, many people are eating their emotions, drinking their sorrows, stuffing down their truths but they do so because of the search for joy, love and happiness.  Regardless of how they do it, they are working on giving themselves comfort, period.  So when you are feeling like someone is doing something to you there are a few things that need to shift; the first being your perspective, the second being the drama that you like to create and third, your being bossed around by your ego.  You may be a really lovely human being but you aren't the reason someone is doing anything, even if they say that you are.  You might inspire them, encourage or influence, but you aren't the reason. The reason always originates with the person doing whatever they are doing for themselves, because they benefit in some way, or think that they will.

Ok, let that sink in.  You aren't the reason for other's choices or decisions.  When your ego becomes inflated you begin thinking that you are why someone is happy, unhappy, sad, miserable, etc.  You begin to believe that you somehow cause others to live a life that they wouldn't otherwise.  You may also believe that the choices they make that don't serve you are somehow against you.  Basically, when your ego is inflated everything has to be centered around something you aren't doing, are doing or is being done to or for you.  None of the above is the case, though we use language all the time that reinforce the inflation of ego.  We accuse others of making us feel this or that, we accuse others of making us do one thing or another, and we tell people that they need to be different so we can be different.  We are a society that simply does not take responsibility for what we are responsible for.  Our feelings, our actions and behaviors, our choices are our own, not because of anyone else, really.  Once you are able to own this you can make different ones if you feel that you need to.

Take a moment to think about the choices you made in your life so far.  Now think about the reasons you have made them; eating various things, bringing certain people into your world, letting others go from it; being honest, dishonest or authentic; holding back or pushing forward.  How much of your world was decided by someone else?  If you can see that you are the conductor of your life you can recognize that it is the same for all of us.  When you release the idea that someone is doing something to you and instead understand that they are doing something for themselves you begin to bring your ego down to a size that is manageable and healthy.  We are all doing the best we can at any given moment.  The potential to begin to fully love your life is there when you begin to fully take responsibility for it, and let others do the same.

xo

a

Lovin' Life

Howdy, So much has been happening in my life, so much amazingness that sometimes it is hard to breathe.  Everywhere I look there are opportunities for my dreams to come true.  In some cases so much goodness and yumminess is available that I feel like it is a feast of abundance.  Yet, this is also my life.  My experiences, my universe and my joy.  I realize everyday, more and more, how lucky I am.  I have friends that adore me, family that I love (some of them, definitely not all, just sayin), work that fills me up and allows me to grow and expand daily.  I look at my life and realize that I have made it.  I am where I want to be. 

Now, don't get me wrong, there are days I am not pleased, moments I am not ecstatic and people who I end up ejecting from my world.  It is just that I don't spend time imagining these days, moments or people into existence.  I put my focus and energy on the things I love, that I am grateful for and let everything else go…  What you focus on gets bigger, so I focus on love, laughter, joy, happiness, cool people, beautiful animals and myself.  I focus, mainly, on myself.  This is what most people don't understand.  The work that is most important to complete or at least to engage in, is the work of learning and loving ourselves.

When you are able to spend time focused on what you love and loving who you are, even when that part of you isn't going to stick around, you have an easier time overall.  When you allow and accept yourself to exist without harsh criticism and judgments life becomes less of a struggle.  When you see yourself as doing your best, you do your best.  When you approve of yourself it is easier to approve of others.  When you let go of there being a right or wrong  way for you to be and embrace doing what makes sense for your soul, for your higher purpose, you begin to find compassion for others in a way that others can feel.  You begin to radiate energy that brings love to you, safety to others and peace all around.

Are you loving your life right now?  It isn't going to change without movement.  You will need to figure out if you want the change to be brought about by love or pain.  Either you will make things happen because something is hurting you or something is loving you.  Love is a way more fun motivator than pain…though we sometimes choose to ignore this fact and wait until shit hits the fan before we do anything differently.  You have all you need to make your world whatever you would like it to be…  your call, your choice, your life.  What's it going to be?

xo

a