universe

Mirror Mirror

Hello! You will have to deal with your sh*t no matter what you do to get away from it. Everyone in your life is a reflection of you… everyone. They tell you where you are by being who they are. This may not be what you want to hear, which means you really want to listen. You are where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing, reading what you are supposed to be reading. You are meant to finally own up to your choices, where you are in your world, what you have ignored, judged, denied, refused, cut out, brought in and pushed away. None of these experiences or choices are meant to shame you or throw you into a spiral of guilt. They are lessons, they are gifts, they are alarms for you to pay attention to.

We have people who come into our world that challenge, excite, depress or ignite us. We don't always know why we are drawn to the same type of person over and over again, we may not yet see our patterns, our repeats. Take a look, see if you are going over your past in different iterations. We may wonder why we like the things in others that we do or find some people unappealing and repelling. When you find these strong feelings rise up in you, pay close attention. These feelings signify areas in yourself that are in conflict or that you need to address. It isn't about the people you like or dislike… it is that you like or dislike that is telling. Your inner struggles, your inner work is played out in front of your eyes everyday. What you struggle with will show up as your lover, your best friend, your nemesis. It will show up in your career, your pets, your health. Your emotional self becomes your life in every possible way. Just as nature finds infinite ways to express beauty, your soul finds a multitude of ways to manifest itself.

Look at the world with the filter that it is all about you; not in the way of taking responsibility for what others say, do or feel; not in the way of wanting everyone to focus on you... Instead see the world as your reflection and then change it for the better by going within; heading to the source. If everything is reflecting your deepest self, working on you and shifting that core perspective changes everything. You have the power, you have the ability, you are omnipotent, you are the creator. You are able to make your world bright or absolutely dim your light. Why do you choose what you choose? What brings you to a place where you often lose? What are you trying to show yourself? Learn what your motivations are so that you can use them to carry you through to your ideal self.

Keep opening up, keep owning your stuff, keep looking within, keep letting love and light in.

reflection-ocean-tree-moon

xo

a

Go Get It

Hidee Ho! If you want something you will need to go after it, it is not going to come after you.  Whether it is juggling, running, eating well, finding a lover that meets your requirements, dancing, listening, writing, cooking, loving, exercising, or anything else, you will have to actually do something towards it in order to see any improvement in it.  It really is that simple.  We make things so complicated when they really are not.  I know that there may be years and years of layers of perceived failure or habits that support all that you would like to rid yourself of.  There may be a life that you live now that would have to change dramatically if you were to begin to do what your heart truly longs to do.  I know that we get so addicted to the familiar, to our misery that changing it, even to gain all the joy in the world, seems daunting and less appealing than staying put.  Truth is, you are going to need to do something at some point whether you go willingly or kicking and screaming, whether you initiate the change or the change initiates you.  Change is coming.

You will have to work, sometimes really hard at whatever it is that you have asked to have in your life.  You may need to do things that aren't fun, that scare you, that are downright challenging; and you will need to do these things repeatedly.  At some point you will have to write over what was the norm for years and years and years.  The thing is, once you begin taking steps towards what things you really want in your life, you will find the world bending to help you reach your goals.  You will find support in ways you never dreamed, when you are serious about changing your life.  What was there all along but ignored, due to lack of desire, willingness or simply being asleep will become opportunities.  You will be given choices to keep moving forward toward what you desire or to stay in the same place that you are familiar and comfortable in.  You might find that as soon as you make a choice to go after your dream or shift something to finally reach a goal an opportunity to leave things as is becomes sweeter.  This is only a test.  Testing you to either stay put or truly go after what you say you wanted.  You always have choices… you are never stuck.  Will you buy in to what you want or play it safe?

Now, when you ask for it, it will come.  I am giving you fair warning.  When you want something to happen for you it will… it is up to you to say yes to it however.  Just because you ask for the universe to bring to you something you want, you still have to show up to receive it and then take it with you and use it.  Just because you have lost a bunch of weight, gotten the job of your dreams, become a juggler with a small but fantastic circus doesn't mean that you won't have to put into it what you did before you made it to this point.  Until your new choices are just your ways of being you will have to work, focus, intend, and believe every day, every moment that it is not only possible but it just is.  Until your new habits become as normal as the life you had before you will need to put energy into them.  You will need to be purposeful and deliberate and dedicated to yourself, your goals and your dreams.  It took you a lifetime to be solidly miserable in certain ways, or unhealthy or unlearned in the things you want to know… give it a while before what you want becomes what you are.  

Let there be fear, trepidation, lack of motivation and do it anyway.  Let there be concern, worry and consternation and keep moving forward.  Let there be change and wonder around it, let there be the curiosity of the unknown.  Let there be a humbling, an understanding that everything must change.  Breathe, open your eyes and keep moving.  Your work will pay off, your life will improve, your change will come.

xo

a

metamorphosis

Order Up!

mentalclarity1 Hiya,

There are signs everywhere, information is abundant.  At no point are you dangling alone in the universe.  I know it seems like it sometimes.  You find yourself feeling confused, frustrated, stuck.  Answers don't seem readily available.  You begin feeling like what you used to know you don't know anymore, what you wanted isn't as appealing, where you are going is no longer set in stone (like it ever was to begin with).  Suddenly you have no idea which way is the right way to move.  You just want answers, direction, clarity. 

Clarity comes with time and practice and sometimes it just comes.  You can look at the universe like a diner, you are the customer that comes in and looks at the menu.  Often you just say "I'll have what they are having" instead of ordering for your own personal needs.  This is your life, you cannot order what someone else is having, it doesn't work that way, and after some time you will be forced to pick your own entrée.  The menu is extensive and you may get tired and overwhelmed while looking through it, oh well.  It is what it is.  You have to go through until you see what is right for you.  There are short order cooks waiting to order up the very thoughts you are having, so be careful, your random unfocused thoughts may not be what you really want, so make your thoughts less random and more focused.  

When you are sitting there, reading the menu the very feeling of being stuck is information.  That is a sign that you may be heading in a direction that isn't best for you.  If you pay attention to feelings or ease, resistance, fear etc.. you will begin to see how much you are actually being shown.  Signs are really all that exist.  You just have to work on being open to them.  Once you begin steps to move towards what you truly want, it is easier to see signs that will help reinforce that you are heading in a direction that your soul has much desire for. 

It is work, the beautiful work of life… your beautiful life.  Take the time and do it.  Open up and see the support that exists all around you.  The signs that you working on what you need and desire is the direction you need to be going.  How many times are you brought back to yourself, in the world?  How often are you made to face yourself?  If there were a bigger sign of you needing to work on you it might be everything disappearing and leaving you alone… think about it.  You are the work, first and foremost.  Take the hint and get started digging in.  

xo

a

Reason This

Hello there, Everything happens for a reason.  I have said this to you before.  If you are close to me in proximity, you have heard these words fall from my lips and know that everything, not some things, everything is what I truly mean.  There is nothing that is for naught… nothing that is without a purpose.  You can do no meaningless things.  The secret isn't to find the meaning it is to uncover it.  When you begin to see the world as an ordered thing, something that has a language, information, desires, set ups and outcomes, as a living breathing intelligent thing, you can begin to let go of judgment and be open to wonder.

When you miss an appointment you may not, in the moment, feel that great about it.  You might go over the fact that you have been swamped and unorganized.  You may even tell yourself things like, "you always do this, what is wrong with me!"  You may beat yourself up more or less than that as well.  You may take hours or longer to figure out how you are simply a fuck up in so many other areas of your life and this appointment fiasco is just highlighting it for you.  How often have you spent time reinforcing your "failures?"  

Now imagine you understood that everything is moving along as it should.  How would that change your reaction to a perceived mistake?  How could it change your reaction?  You could stop, breathe and ask, "why did I need to miss that appointment?  What am I supposed to take from this?"  When you begin to ask questions around a situation that is less than ideal, you begin to get out of it some of what it has to offer you.  When you recognize the intelligence of the universe as greater than your own you don't become passive, you become receptive.  You are then able to move about the world without judging yourself or others and instead, get to the root… get to the reason.  Maybe your missing the appointment was because you needed time to do something else or you needed to be motivated to organize your work and calendar, or maybe it was because you needed to feel shitty so you could get annoyed with feeling shitty and then read this blog and make a shift in your thinking.  When you begin to look for the reasons, the reasons become clear. 

Now, what if you approached your life with receptivity, wonder and awe?   What kind of world would yours look like?  Love is abundant when you do this, life flows with little resistance, and everyone is a teacher and a lover.  You are calmer, more peaceful. It doesn't mean you won't be annoyed about this or that… you are human and that sometimes goes with the territory and is needed and necessary… but you don't have to spend time putting yourself down when you can spend that same time supporting your own personal growth and forward movement.  Get out-of-the-way, you are a part of the orchestra and though you don't conduct the entire thing, you can determine if the sound is pretty or off-key.  The sound of judgment is the sound of discord, it is the language of abuse.  Let go of the judgment, let in the harmony and grace of life and keep on wondering and uncovering.  

xo

a

Get To Give

Hiya, I know all about refusing help.  I know all about wanting to "do it all on my own."  When I was a teenager I realized that my parents weren't that interested in raising me anymore.  So I felt like a burden and it was something I refused to ever feel like again.  So I set about taking care of my damn self.  I paid for all things associated with my high school graduation, my college tuition and life during and after.  I divorced my parents, essentially.  So I grew up feeling like it was just me.  In this deluded state I abused relationships inadvertently.  Because I wasn't quite ready to be on my own but could hustle I got on by the skin of my teeth.  I have lived in a friend's basement, I have almost been evicted more than once, I have stayed in relationships because I was more secure financially that way than if I was on my own.  I have done a million things to survive, but rarely when I was younger, did I truly realize how the universe supported me, and in turn, I didn't always truly appreciate the help I was given.  No matter how hard things became, I was ALWAYS ok.  Nothing ginormous went wrong.  I am so glad that I appreciate the gifts I am given now.  LIfe is so much more rich when your recognize how much love is just waiting around you to lift you up.

I understand at this point that it is a futile attempt to do it on your own because you honestly can do NOTHING by yourself.  Unless you sprung from nothing in the middle of nothing you have been helped from the moment someone ejaculated and another ovulated.  Your ass has been supported.  So get over yourself.  There is the fact that you are sitting on something reading this, or you are using some expensive ass piece of equipment to read it on.  People made those things.  They were built to support you and anyone else that comes into contact with them.  You travel on a road to get from home to wherever and those roads were built by peeps, and maintained by peeps.  You get food that is grown and/or prepared by someone other than you.  You have electricity.  You have heat… You have support in so many ways that are so taken for granted.  It is time to appreciate what you have been given and stay open to receive more. 

When you resist the help that is available, when you deny that you are blessed you aren't able to create larger more expansive blessings.  Or, if you have an issue with needing help you will be put in a position where you have no choice but to take it.  We like to do things the hard way for some reason.  The way isn't necessarily hard.  If you are in a place where help is needed you know it.  You have a little voice that can grow louder if you allow it.  Let it… hear what it has to tell you.  Thank everyone around you who helps you out.  Needing help doesn't make you weak, it makes you human… and a part of the flow of life. 

Receiving help is also a form of giving.  You are giving to someone the opportunity to feel useful, supportive, loving.  Why deny that from anyone?  How can you help someone by allowing them to help you?  Where are you denying someone the chance to be of assistance?  Why?

xo

a