alone

Never Lonely

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Themed cycle classes. My lovely friends. Sleeping in. Fit, Strong, Sexy Bodies. New Fitness Equipment.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I don't get lonely. I really enjoy being on my own and I really enjoy being with others. No matter the situation I am in I am pretty content with being me and living my life. This is not something that is usual for most. Loneliness is a plague it seems. Many people will do most anything to get away from that feeling of being lonely. The paradox is that no one can fill up that feeling; no one, no thing, no place, no activity. Loneliness is a symptom, a sign, that you have left you. You have deserted yourself. The feeling of loneliness is a sign that the relationship that matters most as far as health, happiness and wellbeing, hasn't been nurtured. When you recognize that you could be your best friend, most amazing confidante and supporter, and you put energy into that relationship, loneliness will not have space to take root.

When you aren't lonely you find that the people in your life change. They are not looking for you to fill a space; they aren't looking for you to complete them in any way. When you fill yourself up, you are able to find others who have done the same. With the neediness removed from connection you are left to learn about yourself through your relationships, you are ready to grow and move forward in ways you couldn't have when you used others to numb yourself out. When you stop abusing others the way we do food, sex, drugs, etc. you will find happiness that is unyielding, unwavering, constant and more comforting than any other love you have known. When you are in love with you, when you are happy being you, when you stop leaving you, you will never be alone.

Be alone, be lonely, be afraid, be sad. Go through the feelings that you are sinking, falling and no one is there… then remember that you are. You could show up. You can bring your light to the surface, it is a choice. It is. We love to play victim and we love to stay confused. Stop using not knowing how to do something as an excuse. Read, google, write, ask, etc. Make a move, take action! You need to be where you are to get to where you are going, stop running from yourself. Stop leaving yourself. You are not alone, you never were and you don't ever have to be again.

self-love-woman
self-love-woman

xo a

Only The Lonely

Hi there :) Soon my website will be going live and will have sections for my video blogs (which you can find on YouTube if you search for my Glossylove Channel or Aina Williams), Body Camps, Life Coaching, Personal Training, Nutrition and more!  Exciting!!!  Stay tuned.

I am someone who is very happy being alone, I truly enjoy being with me…  I grew up with two people who were somewhat depressed and enjoyed being solo.  At a young age I figured out how to hang with me.  I created worlds and scenarios.  I walked through my home with candles pretending to be a princess that was looking for her prince.  I imagined my future, I created my life many times over.  I had fun.  I always truly enjoyed the company of others and was made to deal on my own even more when we moved to a small town in North Carolina.  I was bullied and even more isolated than I could have ever imagined.  It was rough and I was so lonely… I wouldn't trade that time for anything.

So many of us have a really hard time being alone.  In some ways it is horrifying for people.  Alone, all alone with their true feelings, thoughts, inclinations.  Nothing to take them away from themselves.  Some turn to constantly having others around, never giving themselves alone time.  Others find another way to numb out and escape being alone with themselves; drugs, food, sex, TV, internet… anything that is a distraction, that quiets the voices in their heads.  Some people refuse to be alone, sacrificing their true happiness simply so they aren't single.  Finding relationship a sort of validation; having it equal them being worthy, lovable.  There is no judgment here… just truth and some questions.  How long can you keep running from yourself?  What are you afraid or ashamed of?

Because I have been trained on being my own best friend I need my space like you need air.  When I feel that anyone, friend, family member or lover, wants more time from me than I have had for myself things usually end.  What I value in alone time is the space to regroup, assess where I am and how I feel.  When I am focused on someone else I am not actually doing my own personal work.  I am helping someone else do theirs; which is my work on one level.  If I don't have balance with focusing on others and then focusing on me, the two will blend together.  Enmeshing is something that can be really damaging to overall happiness.  When you cannot tell where you begin or end emotions get truly all-encompassing.  I feel strongly that our being in these separate bodies is so that we can feel our separateness and work on the whole through that experience.  Truly we are one and that doesn't have to be demonstrated by not owning our very separate feelings.  We don't have to lose ourselves in this reality in order to stay connected to one another… We also are truly able to become closer when we become whole on our own.  When we stop looking to something or someone else to make us feel valid and full and worthy.

Think about your relationships.  Are they serving your best interest?  Do they bring out your highest self?  If you cannot answer yes to these questions for every relationship, the issue is the relationship you have with yourself.  Start there.  Fall in love at home, with you… then see how easy it is for love to come into your life and never ever leave.

personal-freedom xo

a