As Is, Is Perfect

Howdy, It is ok that you aren't always nice. It is ok that you are sometimes an asshole. It is ok that you don't have it all figured out. It is. Many of us have decided that in order to be ok we have to be void of anything that has been judged as negative, bad, base. We believe that we must cut out our darkness as we would a cancer. We want everyone to live in harmony and light without recognizing that harmony and light need discord and darkness to exist. The issue isn't that everything exists, it is all in how we are viewing it. Our adding condemnation to something that we already have fear, shame and regret around only adds to the strength of the darkness and our fear; it only turns the lights out more. When you recognize the place that darkness deserves and requires in order for you to see the light, you no longer have any reason to fear that the darkness or shadow controls you or will do damage. A gun isn't dangerous unless it is in the hands of a human. The darkness isn't the bad guy.

When we refuse to accept the divinity of all things, including the stuff we hate, we refute, we would like to run the opposite direction from, we are forced then to repeat the experience that we so adamantly condemned. We don't have to learn through suffering, it is simply that we refuse to learn any other way… The universe isn't conflicted, we are. The universe isn't judging you as good or bad, it is simply throwing at you information for you to use to create deeper and richer experiences of your choosing. Imagine being able to look at your experiences in your life as ways to grow closer to your's and other's divinity. What would be the purpose of denying anything that was, in actuality, a gift. It is never the thing itself that is the issue but, instead, the thoughts we have about that thing that becomes our albatross. When you leave the thing as an it, or place on it the wise experience that is its highest potential, your world shifts in miraculous ways.

Our thinking is our biggest hurdle, our wanting to fit into an idea of something we have never truly experienced. We spend our time deciding what ok and what is not or trying to manipulate the world around us to fit into our narrow ideas (based on our limited experience) of love. What we don't fully understand is that all of it is love and worry, fear, hate, etc are also part and parcel to the journey to love… albeit roundabout. It is a hard thing to grasp that you are never without, never alone, never lost; that even when you are an asshole you are divine. Even when you don't know the next move to make you are moving in the direction you are supposed to be moving. Acceptance is an unveiling of the miracle of existence… of everything.

Wake up to the magic, it can be phenomenal if you allow it to be.


xo a

Change Is

Hello dearest! Embrace change, it saves you a lot of grief in the long run.  Think back to something you were absolutely sure was a bad thing.  You were certain nothing good would come, you were dragged into it kicking and screaming (inside or outside)… How do you feel about it now?  We run from change like we run from a mugger.  Things being different than they are and us not controlling how and when the change occurs is fear inducing, to say the least.  We are creatures that get attached quickly and let go reluctantly.

Change is inevitable, I am sure you know this, yet it doesn't make it less jarring.  Change means going from what is known to what is unknown.  It is scary.  We like to believe that we have control over our future.  We like to believe that we are in charge of what is next.  We set up our lives so that we know what is going to come next.  We have 401K's, IRA's, Social Security, mortgages, etc.  We buy things for future use, we save information for future telling.  We believe that we will be able to dodge the unexpected by planning properly.  What we are really doing is trying to deny the inevitable.  Change is going to come no matter how much planning, hiding, digging your heels in you do.  Change is constant and you won't be able to stop it from happening.  You also won't be able to plan accordingly or to lessen the amount that you experience.  You get exactly the amount of change your soul needs for growth and exactly the amount you can handle.

So why do we resist change so?  Don't we all have experience with it being for the better in the long run?  I would wager a bet that you have more positive results to unexpected change than negative, if you were to truly take away the judgment that change is bad.  When we let go of the unknown equalling the scary we can begin to see change as the universe's way of gifting us growth.  We get über comfortable with routine, things we know, even if we aren't getting the same charge off of it as when it was new.  We refuse to let go of things regardless of their usefulness.  We become attached to things, people, situations, places.  Our ability to remember can be what holds our complex social structure together and what can also be our downfall when it comes to handling change.  We remember how things were.  We remember in a way that makes the memory better than the actual experience (or worse depending on what we are remembering) which makes it even harder to process change or let go of the past.  Another block to accepting change is our desire to want it to happen the way we think it should… as if we know best for how things need to go.  History shows that humans are profoundly stupid in most every way.

If there is something that is going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it, what is the best way to respond?  What do you think?  I hear from any and everyone that it is hard to change patterns of behavior or the way you think or react to a situation.  I say it isn't.  If you decide to accept change being growth and growth being necessary; if you understand and totally get that you will have to deal with change no matter how much resistance you exert, you can make your response to change have a less harsher impact than it otherwise would and has had.  When you are better able to accept change as a normal part of life you are better able to receive the information, I like to call them gifts, that lies within the change.  You can almost completely side-step devastation and move directly to appreciation.  The more you resist that which you are given the more it shows up in your life… that includes the things that pull you towards forward movement.

How can you embrace something in your life that was unexpected but isn't going away just yet.  What in your life is changing that would be less awful if you accepted it for what it was… without taking it personally?  The better you get at allowing things in your life to move and grow the easier your life becomes.




Be Honest

Hey there, When was the last time you asked yourself the tough questions?  When was the last time you asked yourself what you would change if there were no yucky repercussions?  Have you ever asked yourself a question like that?  So many people are so afraid of truth that they won't even let it into their own heads.  As soon as something that doesn't fit within their idea of what they should do, feel, think or say pops up they push it down.  When your own truth is too scary to acknowledge consciously it begins to find its way to the surface unconsciously.  You will have to deal with your feelings, your actual thoughts and wishes one way or another.  

The truth is you cannot get away from what you really want, think or feel.  You will have to address it at some point.  The resistance of it ensures that it will grow stronger until you have nothing but that thing you have been trying to deny.  It is not a mind over matter situation when it comes to denial.  Even the reasons we give for never wanting to admit to what we are thinking, feeling, desiring.  Relationships could change (will change), lifestyles might have to shift, you may have to get used to letting go of what you once thought made you, you.  Finally owning up to what is actually happening for you holds a lot of weight and some of that may be frightening.  Let me assure you that only great things truly come from owning and accepting all of who you are, even the parts of you you still choose not to share.  

There is nothing like being able to answer the tough questions without running from them.  In order to live the life of your dreams you will have to admit what your dreams truly are.  You may have to admit that your life, as it is, is not what you would truly pick for yourself anymore.  Owning this fact doesn't mean you have made any mistakes, it doesn't mean that you did anything wrong.  Knowing what you really want, feel and think allows you to align your life up so that you are truly happy.  When you no longer have to deny what you feel inside you can get busy living your fullest most authentic life.  When you are honest with yourself you can be honest with others.  When you are honest about who you are, what you want and where you are going you will have a much easier time being who you are, getting what you want and getting to where you are going.  Life is what you make it… so make it what you really would like it to be.  




Letting Go of What You Know

Hello, How are you responding to your life?  Are you resisting or accepting?  If you aren't sure then think about the ease of your life.  Is there any or are you stressed and generally unhappy?  We tend to resist change and accept what we have grown accustomed to (even when it doesn't make us happy).  We resist change so much that it often comes in the form of big life events that are difficult or impossible for us to ignore.  We humans actually believe that we have some control over the movement of the universe, that we can make things happen how and when we would like them to.  We have some influence, indeed.  After all we are all co-creators of this world.  In reality we are waking up to a new possibility each day, one where the best tool in your bag is curiosity.  

In order to live a life that has a bit less struggle and a lot more snuggle :)  (I sometimes just like to rhyme) you are going to first come to the understanding that you don't need to know everything.  You can trust and have faith that things are happening for a reason and to be open to understanding later.  You can also recognize that as time passes your information will change.  What you know to be the case now will not necessarily stay the same in the future.  Each day brings with it surprises.  Planning is important and valuable, being attached to the plan is a hinderance when plans change (note that it isn't "if" plans change).  Everything is in motion.  Nothing is the way it was yesterday, or two minutes ago for that's sake.  Our desire and efforts to keep things as is is futile on every level and on every layer.  When we are curious, this truth that the only constant is inconsistency or change, becomes less fear making and inspires more creativity and risk taking.  


This brings me back to whether you are accepting or resisting your life.  When you accept change as a way of life you live a life with so much less fear.  You become curious about what the change that is presenting itself means.  This doesn't mean that you aren't sometimes afraid, resistant or unhappily surprised.  It just means that you are able to let go of these old programmed responses quickly and come to a place where you begin to see that there is more to change than shock.  There is a depth of acceptance that resistance simply cannot appreciate.  Acceptance is where growth begins.  Growth can only happen when you have an understanding that there is more than what is and curiosity is the gift of staying open to all of the information the situation you are in has to offer you.  You are like a sponge from the day you are conceived.  You soak up information and choose how to use it throughout your life.  As you age you begin to either continue to absorb or dry up.  Imagine absorbing throughout, being as curious, as accepting as a baby is.  How would you see the world differently if you believed it was a never-ending all-knowing school?  How would your life change?



2013-05-24 20.23.20

Better Better Best

Hiya, What if you looked around at people and thought that they were doing their very best.  What would change in your dealings with them?  Would you be as disappointed?  Would you stop expecting and putting pressure on others?  Would you lose all hope for humanity because you would think that if this was the best they could do then we are simply doomed?  I understand all of those feelings and hope that you can see that understanding this idea, that we are doing our best, isn't condoning behavior we don't enjoy, it is being open to what is… it is acceptance which allows for forward movement.  

When you go through life you don't think about what you can fail at, generally.  You tend to think about things that will make you happy that you want to do, places that you want to go, music, friends, etc.  You are not thinking, overall, how you can be mediocre at things.  You aren't thinking about how you can disappoint people and make them wish you were better than you are.  When we get upset with someone for not living up to an expectation or doing something that we don't want, or being a way that we don't like, and then we put that feeling, that disappointment on them, we are also doing our best.   What we need to begin to do is understand that and let go of the anger and sadness associated with being let down by our own hopes and dreams that never existed in reality.  

Everyone is struggling with something.  Everyone has trouble figuring out how to please everyone.  Everyone is afraid and exhausted.  Everyone is trying to be loved, ultimately.  When we recognize that love is the motivation for all living things we can stop our judgement around whether what someone is doing is good enough.  It may not be what you want, but it is what is and that is all.  When you begin to see others as beings working on their sh*t in a multitude of ways, including doing things you would never or that you feel aren't in their or your best interest, they are still working and doing and being.  It takes us all the amount of time it takes us to figure out how to do better than the day before.  It certainly doesn't help to be constantly judged for things you cannot change.  When you adopt the attitude that others are doing their best, you can then be softer and more supportive around their growth.  You can start being compassionate towards your fellow human.  Truth be told, when you really recognize that we are all (including you) doing our best, you begin to let that part of you that has been under the microscope and judged for not knowing what it cannot, relax.  When you relax you are open, when you are open you can receive information that could lead you to doing better.  

Take the pressure off, see what happens when you start being nice, when you begin to see people as where they are supposed to be instead of wishing them to be where you want them to be.  This is their best, right at this moment… be open, if you want to, to them being different in the next moment.  Change is inevitable, growth is mandatory, your best is always better at some point. 




You're Alright

luz-del-corazon_2615453 When everyone realizes they can do no wrong they will be all right.

You are not a mistake.  You have done nothing wrong.  You are meant to do, be, act, love, hate, cry, steal, hurt and enjoy whatever you have.  When you look at your life, what do you see?  When you go back over the history of you, what sticks out?  Where does your heart drift to, what images does your mind fixate on?  What are your judgments around those things past?  How often do you lament things that cannot be undone?  How many times have you wished you could change what was, make it better?  How many times have you been angry with your past self for not knowing better?  

Does that make sense?  If you don't know better how can you do better?  How does replaying something that isn't happening now helping you?  What does your past self get out of being told repeatedly that they are stupid, dumb, f*cked up and wrong?  If you cannot  change it, why are you abusing it into eternity?  Please stop.  You don't need to continue the hurt past the moment of pain. You can let it be what it is and not inflate it any more.  When you hold onto a perceived mistake and dissect it over and over you only imprint that which you obsess over.  You don't learn to not do something by being beaten into submission.  You just learn how to deal with being hurt, a lot.  You learn how to abuse and be abused.  You also miss out on all the good stuff that this instant was full of.  

Take a look again, at those moments, those defining times when you feel you were damaged beyond recognition or you damaged something or someone else.  Look at those times that you regret, that bring up feelings of pain or shame.  Take those moments one by one, hold them close and then look ahead, after them.  Where did those moments lead you?  What was the big amazing yummy fantastic place you landed after it all happened… where did you rise to that you wouldn't have without that mistake?  Where that issue bring you that is now a blessing.  Believe me, there is a place it took you, there is always somewhere those moments are leading us.  Always.  

You didn't do it wrong.  You didn't go the direction you shouldn't have.  You are not a mistake or mistaken.  You were going somewhere and one of the towns you had to visit was that situation you keep reliving and wanting to change.  But you wouldn't be where you are without it… you wouldn't be getting where you want to be without being where you were.  All of it, the stuff you enjoyed and the stuff you didn't… it is all right.  How would your life change if you viewed it as being On Purpose?

When you realize you can do no wrong, you will be alright.



It Is As It Should Be

Howdy! Would you consider yourself someone who pays attention?  Are you picking up on the things that are happening all around you?  Do you see patterns in events in your life or do you believe that there are coincidences and that nothing really follows any order???  :)  What if everything did happen on purpose.  How would you change your worldview (do you have a worldview)?  What if there were no mistakes in the way we view mistakes, "things that just shouldn't fucking happen."  What if you took that idea, that certain things shouldn't happen, and turned it around to ask, "why did this happen?"  How would that change you?  How would you see things differently?  

When you stop denying reality you are faced with it.  When you stop trying to not see you begin to SEE.  You can then be a part of the grand orchestra in a way that you can't if you are choosing to believe that their isn't one because of your view being so narrow. When you look at this life as a part of the whole you can begin to see that each and every movement, no matter how insignificant seeming, plays a role in the sound that the universe is making.  You are a part of this orchestra whether you can hear it or not… and everything that happens within you is a note that joins everyone else to make a melody and finally the Grandest of Symphonies.  

The symphony is infinite.  The reasons for things are multifaceted.  The music is subtle until you open up to it.  Paying attention to how things come together or, as it may be, fall apart, is important if you want to see a larger section of existence than your own.  When you begin to embrace the purposefulness of life you begin to move towards the life that is your highest ideal.  Life begins to work for you and support you in a way that is more obvious than ever before.  From the big things to the small things.  Everything from wishing you could buy a juicer on sale and then finding out 2 hours later that Macy's is having a sale on the very juicer you want at over 50%… then being pushed to get there that night, though you have had the busiest fucking day ever, with 10 minutes to spare before they closed, only to find out the sale was only for 1 day and you made it by 10 minutes...  To being dumped by someone who you thought was the rest of your life and then finding the rest of your life because of it.  Knowing that a series of events is actually a string.  These events are connected and not random.  

When you deny reality or decide it shouldn't be what it is you miss so much of the various movements of the symphony and things seem random and unfair.  If I had decided that the sale was too good to be true, or ignored the internal urging to get to the store no matter what or assumed that Macy's closed at 9 like everywhere else instead of checking to see then finding out it closes at 10, I would have missed this opportunity.  Or, if I had decided that buying a juicer was insignificant and not connected to anything, I would have missed the point.  The point is encouragement.  The point is support.  The point is that the juicer awesomeness is an example of the kismet that is everywhere.  Patterns exist so you can see the bigger picture.  So you can see the connectedness to something more and to encourage you to be open to whatever may be on the horizon.  

The universe is always encouraging or discouraging.  Depends on what it is we are doing and how that lines up with our soul's plan.  When something seems to come easy, that is encouragement.  When it is like being struck by lightning, twice in the same spot, well that might be discouragement… and it is truly up to you to figure this out.  No one else.  When you choose to deny the very things the universe is giving you, showing you, bringing to you or taking away you are demonstrating an exercise in futility.  You will have to deal with it until you can no longer ignore the music that you are not only a part of but you are playing.

If you are denying what is, how is that working for you?  If you are accepting what is, how is that working for you?  Either way it is what it is.