Limits

More Is Possible

Hi there! I have been busy prepping for my book which will be finished sometime mid year 2014. I will be blogging a few times a week as I continue to make space to write the book. Writing along with my clients and teaching at Flywheel keep me plenty busy, but I am accepting new clients for a bit. I also have a workshop series coming. Stay tuned for details! Now, onto that good stuff.

When you are dreaming up something amazing do you see yourself with a limited amount of imagination? If you were to imagine a world would you make some people poor and others wealthy? Would you imagine a limited amount of food or just a portion of your people having access to necessities? When you create, does your ability to create run out, do you run out of imaginary grass or trees or people? Why then, when we are imagining a different way for things to be in this world, do we take things away from some to give to others. We have been duped with believing that someone has to be without, that there isn't enough to go around, that when someone has more than someone else they are not sharing properly. What if there was always more, always enough to go around. What if this world was as magical as the one we can create in our minds?

When you imagine that there isn't enough you are left to be pissed off by those who have more than you. You immediately are in a place where you are divided and against the "other." There are the "haves" and "have nots" which means that there will be conflict. Conflict leads to more conflict. Scarcity thinking leads to a false sense of the world and to conflict. It is hard to create more when you think things run out. When you come from the place that there isn't enough, then there isn't enough. What if the ones who have a "most of the wealth in the world" aren't the enemy? What if the enemy was how we looked at what was possible, our belief system? What if we are wrong about there not being enough for everyone? Try it, imagine abundance. What if the truth was abundance is what is real and the rest is just a lie?

How are things changed? How do we create a present and future that is different that anything that has come before? We imagine it. That is how we do anything different from what we have done before. You have to decide things are better, are more ideal. The more we buy into what has been the more stuck we get on repeating it. We feed what we don't want and don't expect it to grow, it is absurd. What you put energy into will be, at some point, the only thing that you can see. We know this intellectually, we have to put this truth to work in our favor. Start visioning a different world where we all have whatever the hell we want. Vision that no one has to give up something in order for someone else to have something too. Instead of believing that there isn't enough, imagine that there is more than enough for all of us. Isn't that more fun, a much more yummy dream to dream of?

fractalfractalfractal
fractalfractalfractal

xo a

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Hey there, So much of our world is made up, a response to programming, not purposeful or deliberate. At the same time there are very real manipulations and calculations that are happening all of the time. To me there is a lot of confusion, frustration and circuitous bullshit. Humans make life so much more complicated than it needs to be and, in many ways, refuse to take a route that is simple and loving because it isn't what they have been doing regularly. It boggles the mind, or at least mine, sometimes; why in the world would we go toward something we know to not work because it is already in place instead of doing something different, trying something new? We care more about being safe than about being magical and wondrous and smart; really? We literally refuse to challenge ways of doing things because the new ones haven't been done. This is why it takes so much energy to advance; it is truly like pushing a snowball up a snow covered mountain. As the snowball increases in size (change) the snowball gets larger and larger (resistance to that change).

We have a 5 day 40hr/wk workweek, which is actually more like 50-60 hours sometimes including a commute. We generally live beyond our means, borrowing things on credit only to then get farther and farther into debt; which is owing imaginary money, since you haven't made it yet. We believe that finding a relationship, getting married (and going farther into debt), buying a house (even farther into debt) and having kids is how we are meant to do things. One or both parents are doing the 40-60 hour/week thing and the kids are wherever the hell you put kids during the day, paying whatever the costs. Sounds like a roadmap to hell, if you ask me. At no point are we actually asking ourselves if these things, choices, the best for our spirit, joy, health and happiness. We are so conditioned to do what was done before that most of us don't even really ask ourselves if what we want is what is expected. What if we didn't want what others have already done? What if the way it has evolved needs evolving? Isn't that how development happens… things change? The amazing part of all of this, for me, is that most people are afraid of what they really want.

We get into relationships blindly repeating previous (failed) relationships. There is a reason they didn't last, why in the hell are you going about finding a new one in the same way you found the last one? We set up our lives in the same way others have egotistically believing that, though we have huge incidents of depression and disease in our culture, we will do it right and it will turn out differently. You know what they say about doing the same thing over and over yet expecting a different result? Insanity I say. We have so many examples of how things don't work yet we change our minds to believe that how we age is normal and having mid-life crisis are a matter of time; some of us even believe that getting a disease just "runs in the family" and that there is "nothing we can do about it." If we can believe in things that haven't happened yet in that way, why not believe in the stuff we want to happen? We fail to take a step back and ask how we can do it differently or avoid that altogether. We believe that misery is just a part of the equation and we hope we dodge the bullet though we are standing in front of the target, like everyone else.

Wake up. Please. Wake up and see the infinite choices that have yet to be tapped. Wake up to the idea that there are at least as many ways of doing things as there are people on the planet. There are no limits that are set for us, only those we set for ourselves. Your life is a blank canvas and everyday you choose to paint someone else's art on your life. The only thing that will fit you perfectly is what you create for yourself. Let go of the need (conditioning) to fit in, be like everyone else and follow in the footsteps… we aren't zebras trying to dodge lions. We don't need to blend in to survive. That is the beauty of this human experience, we can choose what that experience is. What a gift, don't waste it.

zebras
zebras

xo a

Fear of Flying

Hi! When you let go of the idea that you will be safe if you have a relationship with someone who understands you, who gets you; when you stop worrying about things that are not happening right now; when you remember that all of this is temporary fear pops up and then bounces away. It is the exact opposite of what happens for those who believe that a relationship will fulfill them, "knowing" will calm them or that what they hold onto will last forever; for those people, fear consumes them. The notion that there is safety, security and fulfillment in all the things that truly are temporary, whether you consciously get it or not, would bring up fear because there is no truth to it. We grab onto one another hoping that in the other we will find ground and stop the fall. What we don't understand is that the one we are holding onto is falling also and couldn't stop your internal struggle no matter how much they wanted to. You are the one who can catch you, make you feel secure and loved fully. You are your savior.

We live in a world where most things are unknown yet we try our best to control all. We put rules on everything in order to gain some semblance of being the boss of all. Then life happens, people leave, die, things end, begin, magic happens. We are so set in believing that we KNOW things that we call anything that goes outside of what we have arbitrarily decided could happen, unexplainable, not true, made up, fantasy, conspiracy or some other such definition that usually has a negative connotation. We actually chastise people who refuse to think like the rest of the society we are in. It is understandable then that deep down we are struggling within this box that we are in. Boxes are cramped and somewhere in our soul we see the expansiveness of existence. We know that the world is bigger than the box but because we don't know what lies outside of it, we freak the f*ck out and basically refuse to leave the 'safety' of it. The box says that if you do certain things then certain things will happen. Well, there may be a possibility that those things are going to happen but there is a possibility that other things would happen too. The world is mysterious, exciting and surprising.

Letting go of our illusion of security is a process for most. You can practice it by doing things that challenge you in various ways. You can do it by changing your language around love, relationships, and the world. You can let go of the idea of security by recognizing that the only control that you have is over you and how you respond to your world… Or you can learn through the fact that the world will stop at nothing to get you to see it. The world, universe, will take things away, bring things in, create chaos and then bring order whether you want it or not. The universe will give you opportunity after opportunity to learn how to let go of our attachments. What you call falling I call flying. When you open up to possibility, to understanding that it is the moment that is precious, not the imagined future, you can stop the drop and begin to enjoy the journey. It is your choice to bury your head or spread your wings.

flyowl
flyowl

xo a

Toxic

Hello there! There are people in your world that may not need to stay. If that resonated then I am talking to you. It doesn't matter if they are your sister, mother, brother or friend, if they are toxic then they aren't helping you. I know you may feel like I am being harsh or that you couldn't possibly cut off ties with someone you are related to or are friends with, but it isn't about what you think you should do, it is about what is best for you; what is best for your soul. In order to hear what I am saying you have to let go of your sense of duty and obligation and your fear and judgment around being left by someone you want to stay in your life. You will have to be brutally honest with yourself and you might have to have a "come to Jesus" moment where you give yourself a mini intervention. You may be in an abusive relationship in some way and refused to see it as such simply because you love the person, are related to them or have been acquainted for some period of time.

Know that saying how you feel about a, b or c doesn't actually label someone as bad or wrong… you are simply stating your feelings. We often refuse to say how we truly feel about a person or situation because we think that saying you don't like a person's particular behavior is saying you think ill of the person. Not the case. Those two things are separate. For example: For me, my mother is toxic. This doesn't actually mean that I am saying my mother is evil, horrible or a bad person, just that I feel happier and healthier when I have little to no interaction with her. I am stating the truth about how I feel and what my experience has been in regards to her. She says very unkind things on a regular basis and seems to get a kick out of using very aggressive language to illustrate her disdain for me, so I choose to take my leave. When something is toxic it is poisonous or harmful. People can be toxic regardless of their connection to you, you being close doesn't equal yummy treatment. People can be mean and hurtful in your opinion and you don't actually have to judge them or take it personally. You can let them be who they are without having to be with them. We forget that we don't have to force change on people, we don't have to always make someone understand us or do what we want. It isn't reasonable to always try to have others bend to your will. Sometimes relationships aren't meant to be and that is and always will be ok. We make things really complicated when we judge them; when we judge them we have a hard time letting them be what they are.

What they are is simple too. People aren't generally mean to you because they just love being mean or they desire toxicity. If someone isn't treating you well, in your opinion, they most likely are doing the same thing to themselves. If you can stop and remember that we see the world the way that we are… so if someone is unhappy, mean, cruel, abusive they most likely are in pretty bad shape spiritually and emotionally. They don't need judgment, no one does. They don't need cruelty in return and they most certainly don't need enabling. You aren't here to be abused or mistreated. Being loving isn't staying with or around someone who brings you down. Regardless of understanding why someone is being awful to you, you don't actually need to deal with it. or stay in the abusive situation or relationship. The understanding is so you can remember to be compassionate, from a distance if necessary.

Now, what if the person that is toxic is you? This is the case for at least one person that will read this. If you are your own worst connection you aren't going to be able to take your leave as you could with something that isn't you. You will have to stay and deal with your demons. We can be the biggest abusers to ourselves and not even recognize it. If you put yourself down, discourage, say mean things, or are impatient with allowing yourself to be where you are, you most likely are toxic to you… The first step in getting out of this cycle with yourself is recognizing that this is true and that you would prefer to do something different; that you would prefer to be supportive of you. When you can be your own biggest fan, the wind beneath your own wings the possibilities are endless (they are endless anyway).

Find what makes you sick, nauseated, anxious, unhappy and remove it from your world. Your thoughts and the feelings that come up around them make up the world you live in. Create a space in your life that is conducive to you living your best life, being your best self, and feeling your best. This space should be guarded like the priceless treasure it is. Let no one, not even that meanie that lives within, disrupt it. You are worth being honored and cherished every day of your life by any and everyone that wants to be a part of it. See how your life changes when you begin to accept only the best from yourself and others.

Tree Silhouette Against Starry Night Sky

xo

a

Choices

Hi there, You will be ok.  If you push harder, sweat more, sleep less and go farther you will survive.  We have such a distorted idea of what we are capable of.  If you want to be successful, if you want to reach a goal you are going to need to suck it up and go for it.  Wake up.  WAKE UP!!!!  When things go wrong you figure out how to manage your life around trying to get them to go right… right?  What if you controlled what you could control… like movement, thoughts and behavior.  What if you created habits that supported a lifestyle that supports life?  What if you stopped doing things that sucked energy; things that don't feed your soul, healed your body and broadened your mind?  Do you know what is possible, do you know where your limit is?

I can tell you that you don't know your limits unless you have already figured out how to fly; to just elevate like a ghost.  If you haven't gotten to that point yet you are still at the "I have no f*ing idea what my potential is" point.  And… if you do know how to fly then you understand that we are limitless.  If you decide to work at something with drive, determination, unrelenting discipline you will master it.  You are not limited by who your mom or your dad is, what your bloodline says, or what anyone else in your family has or has not done.  You are only held back by your beliefs; your believing that you are limitless limits you.  Your believing that your family history determines your future is unbelievably damaging to your journey towards flight.  If you want to be a dancer, dance.  If you want to be a writer, write.  If you want to be an amazing lover, love, communicate, practice.  Whatever you see as amazing in someone else you can be too.  Seriously.

I want to be stronger, faster, fitter.  I work at it daily.  I want to be the best DJ that I have heard of.  I work at it daily.  I want to be a proficient, consistent and relevant writer.  I write everyday.  When you want something you need to go after it.  When you see someone living a dream that you wouldn't mind living, at least your version of it, work for it.  When you want to bring something into your world or take something out, make the decision.  That is the secret.  Deciding to do something different, something more, something daring and something you never dared to do will automatically make it a possibility.

infinity-art

Sometimes you just have to make a choice.  Make one that scares you, that takes you farther than you are presently, that challenges your very idea of who you are or ever could be.  Then watch the magic happen, while you sweat your ass off going after it.

xo

a

No Know

Hello, What is it in us humans that makes it easier to believe that we know it all instead of understanding that we know so little that to use the word know is actually humorous?  Knowing belies the fact that we are actually just gathering from our experience.  As our experiences increase our knowing shifts.  So how is it that we know anything and why is it important that we do?  Maybe it is just semantics, but words are important.  The first meaning of know is to be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information.  The second is to have knowledge or information concerning.  The last definition and the one that most people use when they are using the word know; to be absolutely certain or sure about something.  This last definition is what most people are thinking when they use the word know.  Absolute certainty is something that just isn't absolute.  We have all been sure about a lover, a job, a choice only to have time show us otherwise.  Knowing isn't all it is cracked up to be.

We get a sense of security when we can say that we know.  Knowledge feeds our egos and helps us believe that we are somehow in control and dominate our surroundings.  When we feel absolutely sure about something we get this feeling of comfort and familiarity.  It feels good to know.  Our response to what we don't know, or the unknown, tells you how scary it is to go farther than we have.  When you open yourself up to not knowing it is possible to discover that knowledge is less important than curiosity.  You might discover that knowledge is actually a trick to stop magic from happening.  Our dogged desire to understand, to predict, to control keeps us from seeing the fairies, spirits and different dimensions that exist.  Because we feel that it is necessary to be absolutely certain about things in order for them to be true we lose so much experiential information.  Is it true that you love your cat or dog.  Can you be absolutely certain about it; can anyone else?  Knowledge is a distraction, a hurdle, something to get over having to feel.

knowing-gods-will

What if you looked at the world with curiosity?  What if instead of knowing you observed patterns, you had ideas, you didn't know?  What if you recognized that knowledge is always and forever changing, therefore absolutes weren't possible.  What if you stepped out of your comfort zone; how would you experience the world then?  Knowledge is a limitation.  Being open to not knowing is an invitation.  We couldn't possibly, with our limited senses, know anything for certain.  We can't even see in the dark, let alone things we don't know exist.  Everyday you learn something new, something that prior to that moment you didn't know.  If knowing was a relationship we would all be polyamorous, we change our knowing so often.

Accept the invitation to trust that we are always learning, exploring and expanding.  Trust that you don't need to know for sure to believe that all is possible.  Try it, see what comes.

xo

a

You Hurt You. Stop.

Hello lovely, How long would you tolerate a relationship where you were told that you weren't living up to the expectations of your partner.  What if you worked hard to make progress to attempt to appease your partner and they still found fault with you and refused to validate the work you had done thus far?  What if you told your friends what your partner said to you.  That they called you fat, lazy, unorganized, stupid and other such things?  What would they advise you to do?  If your friend came to you with this information, how would you advise them?

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Emotional abuse is far more damaging overall than physical and most of us are guilty of perpetrating it.  Usually we have the where-with-all to keep it a secret and only do it in our safest most private places… in our own hearts and minds.  We cut ourselves down so swiftly most of us don't even recognize that it is being done but it is.  We are victims to ourselves.  No matter where we go there we are.  Looking in the mirror, eating dinner or a snack, walking to and fro, doing the work you have chosen, you are there putting yourself down when the chance arises.  We fill ourselves full of doubt, we imagine the worst.  We believe we don't deserve all the great things and when they come along we often have a hard time accepting them.  We may feel ok to have what "makes sense" for the work we have put in, but any more than that and we upper limit ourselves and create reasons for not being able to push past certain points in various areas of our lives.  

Do you need to break up with you or do you have a chance to be rehabilitated?  You would advise your friend to leave the lover who was abusive, emotionally or otherwise… so I am advising you to do something similar.  Treat that side of yourself as you would someone who is unbelievably insecure and lashes out regularly.  That part of you is like a person drowning looking for anything close to push down on in order to get above the surface.  You are going to have to be disciplined and diligent when it comes to either cutting off the nasty comments or reframing them and reprogramming the responses of your own personal bully.  When you are able to do this the world will open up in ways you never realized it would.  When you are supportive to yourself you can breathe, you are lighter.  

How would anyone fare being abused daily?  Ok, now look at your life and the areas you would like to be improved, would support help in this area?  Would some positive reinforcement be a motivating force?  I believe so.  Try it, what do you have to lose except that abusive bully that lives inside you.  Your higher self is waiting.

xo

a

There Is More

Howdy! I rowed all four years in college.  It was an amazing time and I can honestly say that so much of my philosophies on life are based on my years as a competitive rower.  I learned about myself, what is possible or at least what was possible in the moments that existed then, about others, about stress, joy and love, and about perseverance.  I had never done team sports before college so I was new to competing in a structured environment so it took me a few months to get my feet underneath me.  When I did finally get a glimmer of the possibility I became the strongest female rower (as far as erg times) on both the varsity and novice teams.  I was on top and, because I am competitive, was determined to stay there.

I had a 3.5 years left as a college rower once I reached the top so I had to figure out how to handle the new rowers coming up in order to keep my seat and status as numero uno.  I worked out over the summers, I lifted with friends, I did the extra work that I needed to stay strong.  I worked on my mental toughness, I tested and sent scores into the US Rowing Team to stay motivated.  I also found motivation with the rowers around me.  During tests the top ergers would generally sit next to one another for motivation.  I would make sure that I was always a few seconds faster than the next fastest rower.  It was easy to pace off of someone and to just do enough to stay on top.  It worked and I wasn't topped until I was gone.

Most people compare themselves with others around them to see if they are cutting the mustard.  We are a competitive society after all.  Competition isn't in and of itself and issue, it is how we compete and what meaning we give to the results that end up being problematic.  So often I hear people saying that they eat better than the people they know, they work out more, they are smarter than, more helpful, and so on and so on.  I hear people in various positions saying that they are the best this or that.  You can believe that you are the best, or that you are better or whatever but you always need to be aware of the pool you are comparing yourself against.  If you are the fittest person at your job and you live in the United States, chances are that isn't so hard to do.  Most Americans are obese (40lbs overweight), so being the healthiest is rather simple.  Falling into this line of thinking can be tricky because you stop striving for your best and just look to being the best in comparison to those around you.  Your best is then limited by who you are competing against.  

Well, I get it, I did it and it wasn't until I graduated and began training on my own that I discovered true competition and true success.  When I began training in a single sculling boat I no longer had the team to compare myself to.  I was now a small fish in an ocean and the games were just beginning.  I realized that all I could ever use as a meter to base my success on was the person I was the day before; use the scores from yesterday, three days ago, last week or last month.  I was my competition, I was my motivation.  It wasn't until I realized this that I became great.  I began to challenge what I thought was possible by digging deeper within myself, by going farther than I had the day before, by understanding that there were no limits, really.  When I stopped competing I started winning.  

Everyday I try to push myself farther in some way or another.  I take praise from others as a sign of love and admiration but I don't let it go to my head, ever.  I never believe that I am at the top of my game.  If I believed that I would stop working harder, going farther, dreaming bigger.  I refuse to stop because I am ahead… I never believe that to be the case anyway.  I am always in the middle of the pack, working to see what I couldn't see before, working to be where I never was before.  

Instead of comparing yourself to others, ask yourself if you are working hard and doing your best in the moment.  Dream BIG.  Set your sights on something you think is unattainable and then steadily attain it.  Why not?  It isn't about anyone else, it is about yourself, your potential, your exploration of who you really are and can be.  It isn't about losing or winning it is about stepping outside of the hamster wheel and feeling the real freedom of success.  Going beyond what is expected, not letting others' ideas of what can be dictate your life and what you do.  Truly live your life to it's fullest regardless of the lives being lived around you.

xo

a

Number 1

Your Job Is Great

Howdy, When you do a good job on something that is good for you the thanks come in the form of improvement.  You don't actually get external praise for taking care of yourself.  I do think it is only natural to want to get some love for a job well done.  We all like positive reinforcement.  We all want love.  The thing is, at this point a job well done is a job that truly is just getting the basics done.  Most people aren't even touching the surface of going beyond what is necessary to just exist and feel great.  Feeling great is actually an accomplishment these days… and one that isn't reached very often.  We live in a world where people are sick and exhausted, unhappy and unmotivated, malnourished and obese, and believe that this is just living…  So when someone doesn't feel crappy, doesn't eat crappy, doesn't think crappy praise is sometimes desired.  I believe you need to praise yourself and move forward and not expect it from anyone else.

Your work is you.  You and only you, not even your kids.  In other words, the only person who you can be attached to an outcome with is yourself.  Your body, your mind, your heart and your soul are all yours to take care of at the very minimum.  We have gotten so far away from our selves that we think we aren't even our responsibility.  By the time we get around to recognizing that we have to take care of ourselves we are in a state of disarray.  Our bodies are hurting, our minds are slow, our emotions are stunted.  It often takes a big even to even alert us to the fact that we are gifted with this body, this heart and this mind and it may be able to take a lot of abuse but we do break at some point.  What if you didn't wait until you broke to keep everything running smoothly?  What if you didn't think it was a big deal to do the bare minimum to stay great?  Imagine that world where we are all running around feeling, looking and thinking our best.  What if breaking was a rare situation, the exception instead of the norm?  

We praise father's for not leaving.  We praise people for losing weight.  We praise people for getting good grades.  We have really low expectations it seems.  We have made doing the bare minimum as a person an exceptional feat.  At this point the ones that are doing their work steadily and succeeding are the exception and nothing to write home about.  I do believe in positive reinforcement, but with self-care, that is the by-product, end result, the point, everything.  When you take care of yourself you are taken care of.  You don't need to be told that you are awesome, doing a great job or coddled by anyone, though it is always nice, it isn't necessary or needed.  Your own self-confidence (another result of self-care) is plenty.  Your own sense of well-being is the reward for being great to you.  When you live your life as if it was the miracle it is and treated it with the utmost of care we would live in a different world.  

How can you stop taking yourself for granted and making excuses?  How can you stop comparing yourself to the broken ones around you and begin to look skyward with confidence?  How can you imagine something bigger something more for yourself and believe that not only is it a possibility but it is your destiny?  The only limits are those your mind can dream up, the only obstacle is you.  What will you do to get beyond yourself so you can fully rise to becoming your Self?

xo

a

sky-clouds-3wax

Jackpot!

Hey there, What would you do if you won the lotto?  If you won a jackpot of $275 million dollars after taxes, what would you do?  What line of work, where would you live, how would you go about your daily life?  What would you change and what would stay the same?  I know that I have asked myself this question countless times.  Sometimes the only upgrades I would make have to do with my living space and other times I want to do a complete overhaul.  Where are you on that spectrum?  Are you pretty groovy with most things or would hitting the jackpot create a new world for you, happier and yummier (you hope)?  

jackpot

First note anything you would want to get rid of.  Write it down.  Look at it… say it aloud.  It is important to note that we all know what isn't working in our worlds.  You may have written down anything from leaving a partner to living in another country.  You could have simply written down that you would only change your debt status.  Whatever the area that you are willing to drop like a hot potato if money wasn't an object needs to be dropped anyway.  You sometimes have to get out of your own way to see that you know what you need and/or what needs to leave.  

We love to tell ourselves that we are stuck in a situation and that there is no way out.  We find every reason that never truly is good to stay in something that isn't working.  Maybe a part here and there satisfies you in some way, but truly, when you are doing something that takes from you, what is the point?  How much money is your soul worth?  How much pain and frustration is your life deserving of?  How long do you need to be discontent before you refuse to be discontent?  At some point it is ok to let go of things that aren't fulfilling you completely.  We tell ourselves that if we had the money then we could do blah blah blah.  We say that if he or she did this or that then a, b, c and d would get done or be better.  We think that we have to be fit to do something challenging.  We think we have to have a certain environment to take better care of our health.  There is always some reason that we don't do what we know we want to do now.  When will you run out of excuses?

Asking yourself what you would do if you won the lotto is a great way to check your true desires.  We often judge what we want before we ever let ourselves or anyone else here it.  This judgement is often based on financial matters or what others may think of you.  Find out what your true desires and motivations are.  This is where happiness is.  Once you line your life up with your love, magic happens.  No amount of money will trump waking up in the morning and not needing to win the lotto to feel like a winner.

xo

a

Get Moving

Howdy, After my marriage ended all I could do was run.  I ran a lot.  It was during one of these runs that I had one of my first moments of enlightenment or oneness.  I lived in Collingswood, NJ at the time and had a running route that took me past the Cooper River and several other bodies of water.  It was a lovely route and a lovely town.  In the middle of my run I passed a tree that I had always loved… it was then I lost sense of myself as I know my self to be, I felt like the tree.  I was in it, around it, looking at it. all at the same time.  I remember feeling connected and elated and free.  I ran like I was on a pogo stick the rest of the way home.  

I have had similar experiences since, but always in different settings.  Usually through movement, usually around a time where I am simply relaxed and open to release.  I was in down dog one of the last times I felt like I was the earth.  I felt like I had been there forever and forever would remain.  It was fantastic.  I also finally realized how down dog could actually be a resting pose.  Up until that point it was all about effort.  I remember being excited for the understanding that there was so much more than I could ever imagine pertaining to the body and connecting with it.  We are limitless, truly.

Movement is magic.  You can overcome fear, pain, illness, resistance, worry, judgement and loss through movement.  You can be brought to a place of oneness.  Oneness is bringing the three parts of us together, connected.  Our mind, body and spirit becoming one entity made up of 3 parts, but finally being connected and working in concert.  My work is to help people move their bodies, connect with their spirit and get guidance from their soul.  We do a bang up job of ignoring just about everything except our spirit (which houses our egos, personalities, characteristics, etc. and comes into existence when the soul connects with the physical), we are somewhat clueless about our soul and we ignore our bodies completely, just look around.

We have grown so far away from our physical gifts that we tell people to not get too skinny but never warn anyone of getting too fat.  We ignore the fact that eating for eating sake is gluttony and suicide, true suicide, and we think feeling like shit all of the time is normal.  We feel tired after we refuel and keep refueling with the same stuff that slows us down.  We are becoming less connected and more miserable and sadder, and well, our health is poor, overall.  How can you be connected to soul or change the vibration of your spirit when you are exhausted, sick, and slow?  The practice of strengthening your body is as holy as worthwhile as strengthening your spirit.  When you ignore your physical you ignore an integral part of your growth and development.  When you cannot use your body to tolerate certain levels of vibration, which you can reach through various movements and activities, you stay stuck.  

This is important, I want you to hear me.  Your body is your church, it houses your soul and when it is clogged there is very little communication that comes through clearly.  You may want to call people vain for being fit or wanting to be healthy, but try it, see how it feels to have freedom of movement, to not be attached to your next meal,  and to be able to play and explore and not have the physical be a limitation but the tool for exploration.  Then tell me how you feel, or that vanity is the issue (or that magazines are pushing this or that form of beauty).  When you figure out how integral movement is, the rest follows.  Enlightenment, joy, love, etc… they are all born from the oneness of your three parts.  Ignore one and you are ignoring the whole.

If you don't already have a movement practice add it.  If you have never been truly fit, seriously in shape, go for it.  It won't take that long, I promise and you will find out so much about yourself in the process.  It is a gift, being healthy and fit, that everyone has been given, now just take the ribbon off and open the box.

movingdancer

xo

a

I Want...

Hola!

I want to do 1000 push ups daily and a million other physical feats that I will keep listing here and there.  I want to be a superhero and pole dance like Jenyne Butterfly.  I want to be able to be able to just lift off of the ground and hover until I decide to go somewhere, and then I want to just be there, in a flash.  I want to be able to pick everyone up around me and swing them like when they were little and loved to be held.  I want to give back massages to the masses and then free them from their desk jobs like freeing frogs from freshman biology lab.  I want to show people what life could be like if they loved themselves and enjoyed each and every moment, even when it was hard.  I want so many things and they are all valid and wonderful and possible.  

 You want things too.  You do.  You want to keep your relationship steamy and delicious.  You want to have work that you consider fun and forget that you get paid.  You want to feel worthy and deserving all of the time.  You want to be fearless unless it is necessary for your safety.  You want to be loved and be love.  We all do.  There are a lot of other things that you want that you refuse to admit to.  We censor so much of ourselves, judge it really.  We spend so much time deciding that what we want, what we desire is something that is impossible, not cool, acceptable or important that we forget that we create all of this, everything around us.  Someone somewhere decided that smells should be sprayed and we have perfume and air freshener.  Another person thought it would be cool to jump out of  a plane and not die… tada: the parachute was born!  Better yet, someone or something imagined us into existence and here we are.  Now, how do we go from the amazing miracles that exist in our everyday to believing that we cannot have what we want??

Look around, how many things can be explained to the source.  Really.  Even the idea of God… where, how, why?  Where does God come from?  Where does the universe originate and why?  What is this thing called existence?  If we can be here posing these questions with no certain or universally accepted answer then why can I not fly by just deciding it to be so (and working hard at it)?  Why can't we stop the madness of sitting for hours on end hating what we do and create a different paradigm?  Why do we keep doing the things that someone made up that we don't like?  Make something new up.  Seriously.  

I am going to keep on stating my wants loudly and proudly.  You never know who is listening and can help you bring your wants into reality.  Speak them for yourself, be unafraid and have fun.  This is life, no one is going to get out of it alive so what do you have to lose?

xo

a

ps - Two videos for your pleasure :)

Jenyne Butterfly being amazing: http://youtu.be/waIuhfoTMv8

Tee Major doing some pretty awesome shizznit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POdzasJklxw

I Want It

gettingwhatwant Hi there,

I get what I want.  This is my mantra.  It flows, feels great when I say it and is true.  I say at any point where I feel a sensation of loss.  It works for me because I know what it is that I want.  Wanting is a loaded word and everyone has a feeling about wants when you ask them about it.  Wanting brings up a lot of stuff for most everyone.  You can feel vulnerable and exposed when communicating your wants.  You can feel unworthy and unloved when you are faced with a decision to want something and go after it or let it go.  Wanting can exemplify your feelings about yourself.

So many people tell me that they don't know what they want.  To that I say, poppycock!  You know when you aren't happy, right?  Well, this is an example of you wanting something and not getting it.  Go through your world, sift through your thoughts, check on your memories and see where you were disappointed.  Wherever that feeling of "should have" comes from is an example of you having a want, a desire that wasn't satisfied.  There is no woman or man on the earth without wants.  You spend everyday each day wanting a sh*tload of things.  Pay attention.

Most people try not to want (out loud) because they fear disappointment (which they experience anyway) and don't believe that they can get what they want.  So they pretend to not want anything.  They also don't believe they have the "right" to want what it is they want; especially if their want is up to another person to fulfill.  There are a few things that are flawed about this whole situation… wanting doesn't mean getting.  Wanting is an expression of your desire.  Wanting means you have done the work to find out who you are, what you like and what you would like to have in your life.  Wanting doesn't mean people are going to satisfy your desires… on the contrary.  When you begin to find out what it is you want you will understand that the onus is on you.  You are the only one that will be able to take care of your wants and needs, truthfully.  

When you get to a point where you can want without feeling guilty and instead feeling deserving, you will be in a place of safety that comes from within.  You will not expect from others in the same way and without permission, you will not limit yourself in the same way you have in the past and you will cease being disappointed on the level you end up at this point in your life.  

Want something?  Own that feeling, that desire.  Don't know what you want??  Stop lying to yourself.  Quit telling yourself those stories.  You want a lot, now admit it and get on with getting it.

xo

a

 

There Is Always More

Howdy! Everyday I ask my clients and riders to give a little bit more than the day before.  I ask them to find a place within that is untouched, untapped, masked, hidden… a place that they may be afraid to look at and acknowledge…  Or maybe just a place that they didn't know was there, but exists.  I don't know if most of them get what I am asking or know how to find that uncharted territory on their own, so I try to take them on the journey; a discovery trip, an exploration of self.

Just as the universe is large beyond comprehension and infinite knows no bounds… you are all of that and more.  No matter how long and how far you delve into yourself, you will always have more.  More ideas, reasons, thoughts, feelings, desires.  No matter how much work you believe you have done, you haven't even gotten to the surface of you.  Think of yourself as the earth.  You have only circled one block in Rhode Island at this point.  You haven't even conceived of Papua New Guinea as existing within you, or existing period.  You are so vast that it takes many lifetimes to learn the neighborhood of the block you've been circling in this lifetime, let alone the city, state and country of origin for that block.  

Knowing that there is infinitely more that is unseen than seen is where you begin.  Once you embrace the fact that your perspective is limited and your knowing super-duper small, when it comes to what is possible, you can swing to the other side where everything and anything is possible (and is).  You can begin to imagine yourself where you want to be in whatever form that takes.  You can see yourself doing gymnastics, aerial work, having no cellulite, building strong abs, flaunting your toned body, or feeling GREAT all of the time.  Once you embrace the idea of anything being possible you can stop using the excuse of not ever being perfect as a reason to give up. You can begin to open your heart to what you don't know in reality but you know must be.  

So, the next time you are doing the same thing you've done before, make it different.  Open to being more, giving more, getting more.  Understand that growth happens on an atomic level and, like a fractal, just keeps going and going and going.  You are changing and growing with every moment.  So when I ask you or you are asked to do more than the day before, be open and feel what comes.

xo

a