Check Your Ego



No one is making decisions because of you no matter how much you think they are or want them to. Everyone is moving through the world trying to do things that make them happy, that bring them love, that keep them from feeling sad… mostly.  Yes, many people are eating their emotions, drinking their sorrows, stuffing down their truths but they do so because of the search for joy, love and happiness.  Regardless of how they do it, they are working on giving themselves comfort, period.  So when you are feeling like someone is doing something to you there are a few things that need to shift; the first being your perspective, the second being the drama that you like to create and third, your being bossed around by your ego.  You may be a really lovely human being but you aren't the reason someone is doing anything, even if they say that you are.  You might inspire them, encourage or influence, but you aren't the reason. The reason always originates with the person doing whatever they are doing for themselves, because they benefit in some way, or think that they will.

Ok, let that sink in.  You aren't the reason for other's choices or decisions.  When your ego becomes inflated you begin thinking that you are why someone is happy, unhappy, sad, miserable, etc.  You begin to believe that you somehow cause others to live a life that they wouldn't otherwise.  You may also believe that the choices they make that don't serve you are somehow against you.  Basically, when your ego is inflated everything has to be centered around something you aren't doing, are doing or is being done to or for you.  None of the above is the case, though we use language all the time that reinforce the inflation of ego.  We accuse others of making us feel this or that, we accuse others of making us do one thing or another, and we tell people that they need to be different so we can be different.  We are a society that simply does not take responsibility for what we are responsible for.  Our feelings, our actions and behaviors, our choices are our own, not because of anyone else, really.  Once you are able to own this you can make different ones if you feel that you need to.

Take a moment to think about the choices you made in your life so far.  Now think about the reasons you have made them; eating various things, bringing certain people into your world, letting others go from it; being honest, dishonest or authentic; holding back or pushing forward.  How much of your world was decided by someone else?  If you can see that you are the conductor of your life you can recognize that it is the same for all of us.  When you release the idea that someone is doing something to you and instead understand that they are doing something for themselves you begin to bring your ego down to a size that is manageable and healthy.  We are all doing the best we can at any given moment.  The potential to begin to fully love your life is there when you begin to fully take responsibility for it, and let others do the same.



What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference. 

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:





My Work.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

How often do you take things personally?  Every day? Once an hour?  Every other moment?  How often do you believe that someone did something to you?  Do you think that the way someone behaves is a direct result of how they feel about you?  I am all about self-care, self-focus and self-love.  I practice and I teach it, however, taking things personally is none of the above.  It is an ego puffed up to the size of the sun.  You are not the reason someone feels, does, behaves or believes no matter how many songs say so.  

What someone is doing is a direct result of how they are feeling, thinking or believing.  You are but a pawn in their universe, honestly.  Think about it.  Say you are having a day where you just don't feel good.  You cannot pinpoint the issue so you are simply irritable.  You then go to get some tea at your local breakfast spot.  They give you the wrong order and you are curt with them.  You feel justified because they f'ed up your order and you believe it is their fault for your response.  They may believe that as well.  Blame laid, blame taken.  All is jacked in that scenario.  Now switch over to another universe with the same scenario but a different 'you.'  You are happy because you just found out you won a trip to Barbados through a random drawing at work.  You skip to get your tea, they mess up the order, you then do what?  You let it go and smile as you imagine laying on the beach, soaking up the sun.  

When you recognize that you are not the reason for someone's feelings a burden can be released.  This burden, that stems from the belief that you cause another's feeling(s), is one that only gets heavier over time.  We behave the way we feel, whether we are consciously or unconsciously.  Taking something personally is the true display of egotism.  It is saying that all things are about you.  You are why someone is pissed off, you are why they are happy, you are why they are late, you are why they came early, you are bladiblah.  Sorry, but you aren't.  You behave based on your feelings of right or wrong behavior, what should or should not be, what you like or don't like, etc.  You are a direct result of you… same as everyone else.

Next time you think something is about you, that someone is doing something to you, look in the mirror and recognize yourself as the only one that will and can do that.  



Get Moving

Howdy, After my marriage ended all I could do was run.  I ran a lot.  It was during one of these runs that I had one of my first moments of enlightenment or oneness.  I lived in Collingswood, NJ at the time and had a running route that took me past the Cooper River and several other bodies of water.  It was a lovely route and a lovely town.  In the middle of my run I passed a tree that I had always loved… it was then I lost sense of myself as I know my self to be, I felt like the tree.  I was in it, around it, looking at it. all at the same time.  I remember feeling connected and elated and free.  I ran like I was on a pogo stick the rest of the way home.  

I have had similar experiences since, but always in different settings.  Usually through movement, usually around a time where I am simply relaxed and open to release.  I was in down dog one of the last times I felt like I was the earth.  I felt like I had been there forever and forever would remain.  It was fantastic.  I also finally realized how down dog could actually be a resting pose.  Up until that point it was all about effort.  I remember being excited for the understanding that there was so much more than I could ever imagine pertaining to the body and connecting with it.  We are limitless, truly.

Movement is magic.  You can overcome fear, pain, illness, resistance, worry, judgement and loss through movement.  You can be brought to a place of oneness.  Oneness is bringing the three parts of us together, connected.  Our mind, body and spirit becoming one entity made up of 3 parts, but finally being connected and working in concert.  My work is to help people move their bodies, connect with their spirit and get guidance from their soul.  We do a bang up job of ignoring just about everything except our spirit (which houses our egos, personalities, characteristics, etc. and comes into existence when the soul connects with the physical), we are somewhat clueless about our soul and we ignore our bodies completely, just look around.

We have grown so far away from our physical gifts that we tell people to not get too skinny but never warn anyone of getting too fat.  We ignore the fact that eating for eating sake is gluttony and suicide, true suicide, and we think feeling like shit all of the time is normal.  We feel tired after we refuel and keep refueling with the same stuff that slows us down.  We are becoming less connected and more miserable and sadder, and well, our health is poor, overall.  How can you be connected to soul or change the vibration of your spirit when you are exhausted, sick, and slow?  The practice of strengthening your body is as holy as worthwhile as strengthening your spirit.  When you ignore your physical you ignore an integral part of your growth and development.  When you cannot use your body to tolerate certain levels of vibration, which you can reach through various movements and activities, you stay stuck.  

This is important, I want you to hear me.  Your body is your church, it houses your soul and when it is clogged there is very little communication that comes through clearly.  You may want to call people vain for being fit or wanting to be healthy, but try it, see how it feels to have freedom of movement, to not be attached to your next meal,  and to be able to play and explore and not have the physical be a limitation but the tool for exploration.  Then tell me how you feel, or that vanity is the issue (or that magazines are pushing this or that form of beauty).  When you figure out how integral movement is, the rest follows.  Enlightenment, joy, love, etc… they are all born from the oneness of your three parts.  Ignore one and you are ignoring the whole.

If you don't already have a movement practice add it.  If you have never been truly fit, seriously in shape, go for it.  It won't take that long, I promise and you will find out so much about yourself in the process.  It is a gift, being healthy and fit, that everyone has been given, now just take the ribbon off and open the box.