Hello lovely, How long would you tolerate a relationship where you were told that you weren't living up to the expectations of your partner. What if you worked hard to make progress to attempt to appease your partner and they still found fault with you and refused to validate the work you had done thus far? What if you told your friends what your partner said to you. That they called you fat, lazy, unorganized, stupid and other such things? What would they advise you to do? If your friend came to you with this information, how would you advise them?
Emotional abuse is far more damaging overall than physical and most of us are guilty of perpetrating it. Usually we have the where-with-all to keep it a secret and only do it in our safest most private places… in our own hearts and minds. We cut ourselves down so swiftly most of us don't even recognize that it is being done but it is. We are victims to ourselves. No matter where we go there we are. Looking in the mirror, eating dinner or a snack, walking to and fro, doing the work you have chosen, you are there putting yourself down when the chance arises. We fill ourselves full of doubt, we imagine the worst. We believe we don't deserve all the great things and when they come along we often have a hard time accepting them. We may feel ok to have what "makes sense" for the work we have put in, but any more than that and we upper limit ourselves and create reasons for not being able to push past certain points in various areas of our lives.
Do you need to break up with you or do you have a chance to be rehabilitated? You would advise your friend to leave the lover who was abusive, emotionally or otherwise… so I am advising you to do something similar. Treat that side of yourself as you would someone who is unbelievably insecure and lashes out regularly. That part of you is like a person drowning looking for anything close to push down on in order to get above the surface. You are going to have to be disciplined and diligent when it comes to either cutting off the nasty comments or reframing them and reprogramming the responses of your own personal bully. When you are able to do this the world will open up in ways you never realized it would. When you are supportive to yourself you can breathe, you are lighter.
How would anyone fare being abused daily? Ok, now look at your life and the areas you would like to be improved, would support help in this area? Would some positive reinforcement be a motivating force? I believe so. Try it, what do you have to lose except that abusive bully that lives inside you. Your higher self is waiting.