language

You Hurt You. Stop.

Hello lovely, How long would you tolerate a relationship where you were told that you weren't living up to the expectations of your partner.  What if you worked hard to make progress to attempt to appease your partner and they still found fault with you and refused to validate the work you had done thus far?  What if you told your friends what your partner said to you.  That they called you fat, lazy, unorganized, stupid and other such things?  What would they advise you to do?  If your friend came to you with this information, how would you advise them?

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Emotional abuse is far more damaging overall than physical and most of us are guilty of perpetrating it.  Usually we have the where-with-all to keep it a secret and only do it in our safest most private places… in our own hearts and minds.  We cut ourselves down so swiftly most of us don't even recognize that it is being done but it is.  We are victims to ourselves.  No matter where we go there we are.  Looking in the mirror, eating dinner or a snack, walking to and fro, doing the work you have chosen, you are there putting yourself down when the chance arises.  We fill ourselves full of doubt, we imagine the worst.  We believe we don't deserve all the great things and when they come along we often have a hard time accepting them.  We may feel ok to have what "makes sense" for the work we have put in, but any more than that and we upper limit ourselves and create reasons for not being able to push past certain points in various areas of our lives.  

Do you need to break up with you or do you have a chance to be rehabilitated?  You would advise your friend to leave the lover who was abusive, emotionally or otherwise… so I am advising you to do something similar.  Treat that side of yourself as you would someone who is unbelievably insecure and lashes out regularly.  That part of you is like a person drowning looking for anything close to push down on in order to get above the surface.  You are going to have to be disciplined and diligent when it comes to either cutting off the nasty comments or reframing them and reprogramming the responses of your own personal bully.  When you are able to do this the world will open up in ways you never realized it would.  When you are supportive to yourself you can breathe, you are lighter.  

How would anyone fare being abused daily?  Ok, now look at your life and the areas you would like to be improved, would support help in this area?  Would some positive reinforcement be a motivating force?  I believe so.  Try it, what do you have to lose except that abusive bully that lives inside you.  Your higher self is waiting.

xo

a

It's The Little Things

Hiya, We don't always realize how the little things matter so much more than the bigger things.  There are so many more little things that, when put altogether, add up to waaaaay more than the big things combined.  Like insects.  If all the insects jumped off the earth at once the earth would possibly fall off its axis.  There are way more bugs taking up way more space and weighing way more than other living things combined.  Though I don't enjoy bugs, I appreciate them for, holding it down, so to speak.  I also appreciate the reminder that they play an important role in the function of this planet.   

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The same holds true for the little things you say to yourself all day every day.  When you wake up to when you go to bed, what are the dominating thoughts?  If you wonder and cannot recall or are not aware of the dominating words, ideas or language you can simply look at your life and you will have your answer.  Do you love you life?  Every aspect of it.  Work, is it fulfilling and are you living your dream?  Love, do you have it in your life and if so is it you ideal?  Your body, are you happy with your body, is your body happy with you?  Health, are you healthy, do you feel great everyday?  Friends, are they supportive and who you want to be around?  If any of those things aren't where you want them to be what are the thoughts about them that come up for you right now?    What do you say to yourself when it comes to the various aspects of your life?  

One of the easiest ways to begin this awareness journey is to pay attention to what you say to yourself first thing in the morning upon waking.  What are the thoughts that come into your mind when you open you eyes?  What is the general feeling in the morning each morning?  What is your normal response to making a "mistake"?  How many times do you go over what already happened to criticize yourself for doing 'a' instead of 'b'?  How often are you called stupid in your own mind?  Do you use the word 'should' on a daily basis?  

Once you begin paying attention you will begin to see how your inner dialogue shapes your external reality.  If you think you aren't very good at something, chances are you won't succeed at it in reality… partly because you may not even attempt various things you have berated yourself out of trying.  Once you awaken to you inner dialogue and hear all that you have said, moment by moment, you may become appalled by the level of abuse you inflict on yourself.  Now imagine yourself as a little girl/boy and you are telling her/him what you tell yourself all day everyday.  This is what we do.  We are, everyday, raising up the inner child.  We have a chance, every day, to raise them up with love or fear.  How do you want to shape her/his world?  

The small things, in reality, are all there is.  We are but molecules all bunched together to create the illusion of solidity.  We are energy and we feed on love and are minimized by fear.  If you are each day, in every way, telling yourself that you matter, the bigger picture is going to be made up of those sweet loving thoughts.  If you, every day in every way are doing the opposite, the opposite is true.  

I am not saying to sweat the small stuff, but, instead, put effort into it.  It matters and so do you.  

xo

a