desire

If You Want It

Hi there, If you want to do something do it… you don't have to be perfect at it or know what you are doing, really… just do it. If you want to write, for example, then write. Write your dreams, write your stories, write your hopes and write your fears. Write about other people, write about yourself, make up stories and speak your facts. If you want to dance, dance… everyday. Put music on, move your body, keep moving your body. Dance every chance you get. If you want to sing, sing in the shower, in your car, living room or kitchen. Sing when you are sad, sing when you are happy, sing when you are walking down the street. Sing when you are working out, sing when you are chillin. If you want to do something you don't yet know how to, you are going to have to 'just do it' as they say.

We hesitate, we come up with reasons why we cannot start something now, we lie, we manipulate and we become dictated by our fears. Our fears consist of not being good at what we are learning to do, not being good at what we are learning to do and oh, yes, not being good at it yet. Ok, so now that you know what you are afraid of, do it anyway. You most likely won't be good at it until you practice whatever you are learning, over and over again. Part of being new at something is making mistakes. Those mistakes you make early on are the building blocks of mastery which you will reach later if you keep on practicing. We also miss out of living the life of our dreams because of a lack of faith. We sometimes believe that things are too good to be true and/or we don't deserve all the great things. Instead of giving you examples of why those ideas are loads of sh*t, I will just tell you, those ideas are loads of sh*t. You deserve the abundance that is available to us all, no doubt about it.

The biggest hurdle to achieving anything is doing it where you are now; not waiting for the right time to strike. If you want it go get it. I remember wanting to write, for years. The second biggest hurdle to achieving what you dream of, practicing what you what you dream of doing, all of the time. Behave like you really want to know, like you really want to learn. No more excuses, get going, have at it. You are wasting time doing things that aren't your dream if you know what you want and aren't running it down. If you aren't sure about your dreams or have been, up to this point, afraid of voicing them, let that go. Put words to your desires and then put action to those words. Yours is a life that is waiting to be lived.

ocean_dreams

xo

a

I Want It

gettingwhatwant Hi there,

I get what I want.  This is my mantra.  It flows, feels great when I say it and is true.  I say at any point where I feel a sensation of loss.  It works for me because I know what it is that I want.  Wanting is a loaded word and everyone has a feeling about wants when you ask them about it.  Wanting brings up a lot of stuff for most everyone.  You can feel vulnerable and exposed when communicating your wants.  You can feel unworthy and unloved when you are faced with a decision to want something and go after it or let it go.  Wanting can exemplify your feelings about yourself.

So many people tell me that they don't know what they want.  To that I say, poppycock!  You know when you aren't happy, right?  Well, this is an example of you wanting something and not getting it.  Go through your world, sift through your thoughts, check on your memories and see where you were disappointed.  Wherever that feeling of "should have" comes from is an example of you having a want, a desire that wasn't satisfied.  There is no woman or man on the earth without wants.  You spend everyday each day wanting a sh*tload of things.  Pay attention.

Most people try not to want (out loud) because they fear disappointment (which they experience anyway) and don't believe that they can get what they want.  So they pretend to not want anything.  They also don't believe they have the "right" to want what it is they want; especially if their want is up to another person to fulfill.  There are a few things that are flawed about this whole situation… wanting doesn't mean getting.  Wanting is an expression of your desire.  Wanting means you have done the work to find out who you are, what you like and what you would like to have in your life.  Wanting doesn't mean people are going to satisfy your desires… on the contrary.  When you begin to find out what it is you want you will understand that the onus is on you.  You are the only one that will be able to take care of your wants and needs, truthfully.  

When you get to a point where you can want without feeling guilty and instead feeling deserving, you will be in a place of safety that comes from within.  You will not expect from others in the same way and without permission, you will not limit yourself in the same way you have in the past and you will cease being disappointed on the level you end up at this point in your life.  

Want something?  Own that feeling, that desire.  Don't know what you want??  Stop lying to yourself.  Quit telling yourself those stories.  You want a lot, now admit it and get on with getting it.

xo

a

 

True Love

Hello lovely, Your love story begins with you.  Even if you have been in a million different relationships you will, one day, discover that the most important one you are in is with yourself.  So often we seek relationship with the other.  We look for our 'better half', the one who will complete us.  We look everywhere but inward to find the reason, the answer, love.  We are rarely taught to court or romance ourselves.  We are not encouraged to learn about what we want, need, refuse to live without and then taught to provide those things for ourselves.  Instead we are told how that we should do this or that to find the "right" partner.  We are shown ways to lie about our actual selves in order to gain affections of another.

After some time we learn that getting another doesn't complete us, or we find someone needing complimentary healing and believe that we have found that other half.  Still something happens, someone dies, we get ill, we have an awakening to self in some way.  We realize that knowing ourselves, loving ourselves has been the answer all along.  We learn that the ache we feel even when we are happily coupled, comes from being a shitty partner to our souls.  We learn, through some form of miraculous events, that if we don't sit with ourselves and learn to get along with our selves we really are fucked.  Or we get dumped and no one wants to date us and we are forced to figure it out.  Either way, we learn.

The hard part is we don't know where to begin.  We don't know how to 'date' ourselves… It seems cooky to ask your self out on a date.  What if you say no???  What if YOU reject yourself???  Man, that would be rough.  Alas, it won't happen.  But the worry around it is real.  The truth of the matter is it is simple to date yourself.  Do what you would want someone else to do for you.  You want flowers, buy them.  You want to get taken out to a nice meal, TAKE YOURSELF OUT!!!  Get over being afraid of being alone or make a nice dinner at home, with candles and music and the whole nine.  Ask yourself the questions you would ask a potential lover.  Go to a spa or take a bath.  Get a massage or give yourself as much of one as you can.  Focus on self-care like you are the most important person in your life, because you are.  See what shakes out.  See what emotions you uncover.

The next step, to falling in love with yourself is accepting all of you.  Love yourself like you are the child you found sitting at your doorstep.  The child that is eager to please, means well and is sometimes just misunderstood.  Love that child, yourself, with every ounce of your being.  Period.  Name that child.  Speak to her or him like you are helping her grow up, showing her how to love herself and grow with a stable, supportive platform underfoot.  When you begin to see yourself as innocent, as love, love is all you will be able to have for her/him.

It will take work.  It will take long, hard work.  You will have great days and days where you want to break up with yourself.  You will have days where you feel like you've been dumped by you and where you want to be with anyone else but you. You will miss drowning yourself in another and being ignorant to this necessary self-love process.  Suck it up and get over it.  You are always worth it.

xo

a