limits

Choices

Hi there, You will be ok.  If you push harder, sweat more, sleep less and go farther you will survive.  We have such a distorted idea of what we are capable of.  If you want to be successful, if you want to reach a goal you are going to need to suck it up and go for it.  Wake up.  WAKE UP!!!!  When things go wrong you figure out how to manage your life around trying to get them to go right… right?  What if you controlled what you could control… like movement, thoughts and behavior.  What if you created habits that supported a lifestyle that supports life?  What if you stopped doing things that sucked energy; things that don't feed your soul, healed your body and broadened your mind?  Do you know what is possible, do you know where your limit is?

I can tell you that you don't know your limits unless you have already figured out how to fly; to just elevate like a ghost.  If you haven't gotten to that point yet you are still at the "I have no f*ing idea what my potential is" point.  And… if you do know how to fly then you understand that we are limitless.  If you decide to work at something with drive, determination, unrelenting discipline you will master it.  You are not limited by who your mom or your dad is, what your bloodline says, or what anyone else in your family has or has not done.  You are only held back by your beliefs; your believing that you are limitless limits you.  Your believing that your family history determines your future is unbelievably damaging to your journey towards flight.  If you want to be a dancer, dance.  If you want to be a writer, write.  If you want to be an amazing lover, love, communicate, practice.  Whatever you see as amazing in someone else you can be too.  Seriously.

I want to be stronger, faster, fitter.  I work at it daily.  I want to be the best DJ that I have heard of.  I work at it daily.  I want to be a proficient, consistent and relevant writer.  I write everyday.  When you want something you need to go after it.  When you see someone living a dream that you wouldn't mind living, at least your version of it, work for it.  When you want to bring something into your world or take something out, make the decision.  That is the secret.  Deciding to do something different, something more, something daring and something you never dared to do will automatically make it a possibility.

infinity-art

Sometimes you just have to make a choice.  Make one that scares you, that takes you farther than you are presently, that challenges your very idea of who you are or ever could be.  Then watch the magic happen, while you sweat your ass off going after it.

xo

a

There Is More

Howdy! I rowed all four years in college.  It was an amazing time and I can honestly say that so much of my philosophies on life are based on my years as a competitive rower.  I learned about myself, what is possible or at least what was possible in the moments that existed then, about others, about stress, joy and love, and about perseverance.  I had never done team sports before college so I was new to competing in a structured environment so it took me a few months to get my feet underneath me.  When I did finally get a glimmer of the possibility I became the strongest female rower (as far as erg times) on both the varsity and novice teams.  I was on top and, because I am competitive, was determined to stay there.

I had a 3.5 years left as a college rower once I reached the top so I had to figure out how to handle the new rowers coming up in order to keep my seat and status as numero uno.  I worked out over the summers, I lifted with friends, I did the extra work that I needed to stay strong.  I worked on my mental toughness, I tested and sent scores into the US Rowing Team to stay motivated.  I also found motivation with the rowers around me.  During tests the top ergers would generally sit next to one another for motivation.  I would make sure that I was always a few seconds faster than the next fastest rower.  It was easy to pace off of someone and to just do enough to stay on top.  It worked and I wasn't topped until I was gone.

Most people compare themselves with others around them to see if they are cutting the mustard.  We are a competitive society after all.  Competition isn't in and of itself and issue, it is how we compete and what meaning we give to the results that end up being problematic.  So often I hear people saying that they eat better than the people they know, they work out more, they are smarter than, more helpful, and so on and so on.  I hear people in various positions saying that they are the best this or that.  You can believe that you are the best, or that you are better or whatever but you always need to be aware of the pool you are comparing yourself against.  If you are the fittest person at your job and you live in the United States, chances are that isn't so hard to do.  Most Americans are obese (40lbs overweight), so being the healthiest is rather simple.  Falling into this line of thinking can be tricky because you stop striving for your best and just look to being the best in comparison to those around you.  Your best is then limited by who you are competing against.  

Well, I get it, I did it and it wasn't until I graduated and began training on my own that I discovered true competition and true success.  When I began training in a single sculling boat I no longer had the team to compare myself to.  I was now a small fish in an ocean and the games were just beginning.  I realized that all I could ever use as a meter to base my success on was the person I was the day before; use the scores from yesterday, three days ago, last week or last month.  I was my competition, I was my motivation.  It wasn't until I realized this that I became great.  I began to challenge what I thought was possible by digging deeper within myself, by going farther than I had the day before, by understanding that there were no limits, really.  When I stopped competing I started winning.  

Everyday I try to push myself farther in some way or another.  I take praise from others as a sign of love and admiration but I don't let it go to my head, ever.  I never believe that I am at the top of my game.  If I believed that I would stop working harder, going farther, dreaming bigger.  I refuse to stop because I am ahead… I never believe that to be the case anyway.  I am always in the middle of the pack, working to see what I couldn't see before, working to be where I never was before.  

Instead of comparing yourself to others, ask yourself if you are working hard and doing your best in the moment.  Dream BIG.  Set your sights on something you think is unattainable and then steadily attain it.  Why not?  It isn't about anyone else, it is about yourself, your potential, your exploration of who you really are and can be.  It isn't about losing or winning it is about stepping outside of the hamster wheel and feeling the real freedom of success.  Going beyond what is expected, not letting others' ideas of what can be dictate your life and what you do.  Truly live your life to it's fullest regardless of the lives being lived around you.

xo

a

Number 1

Story Moments

Hiya, Yep, the details matter.  The details are the difference between I kissed a girl and I kissed my best friend's girl.  The details are what make a story unique, interesting, fun and well a story.  The details give things form and structure.  The details make the whole, in reality.  What are the details you focus on?  What are the small points that you spend time fleshing out?  How much attention are you paying to how you frame your thoughts?  We all want our lives to be great but we aren't willing to put the energy into what would actually bring that greatness to us.  Though the details make us up, shape our world, create our experiences, we have a hard time being detailed when we want to change our world and have different experiences.

The details change the picture.  When you need to shift your thinking the details are the fastest most reliable ways of doing so… and the hardest.  Changing your stories is a moment to moment process that can be all-consuming, if you are doing it correctly.  You will have to be on your every thought, at first.  Taking note, finding out what you are saying to yourself to create the feeling of uneasiness that you have grown accustomed to.  You will have to "listen without prejudice" to all the voices in your head.  You will need to let go of the judgment that you have about what you hear when you become aware.  You will need to finally hear the barrage of insults that you inflict upon yourself, the limitations that you set up and the abuse that goes on in the background for ambiance.  At first there may be shock, sadness, awe… keep listening, hear the details and then look around at your world, your life.  See where you struggle, see where there is fear and pain.  The inside terrorist is way more dangerous than anything that could happen to you on the outside.  You cannot run away from yourself, you cannot hide from the attacker that lives within.

Thinking_by_almumen

You are going to have to decide what story you would like to live.  You will have to decide what words you want to hear, what feelings you want to predominantly experience.  You will have to do the hard work.  The moment to moment work.  You will have to change the details.  The best part is you can.  You can totally shift your life by shifting the ideas you hold up as truth.  You are worth the struggle, the relentless silencing of the voices you will have to do.  You can and, if you are reading this, you are ready to.  

Good luck on your journey of growth, change and opening to love.

xo

a

There Is Always More

Howdy! Everyday I ask my clients and riders to give a little bit more than the day before.  I ask them to find a place within that is untouched, untapped, masked, hidden… a place that they may be afraid to look at and acknowledge…  Or maybe just a place that they didn't know was there, but exists.  I don't know if most of them get what I am asking or know how to find that uncharted territory on their own, so I try to take them on the journey; a discovery trip, an exploration of self.

Just as the universe is large beyond comprehension and infinite knows no bounds… you are all of that and more.  No matter how long and how far you delve into yourself, you will always have more.  More ideas, reasons, thoughts, feelings, desires.  No matter how much work you believe you have done, you haven't even gotten to the surface of you.  Think of yourself as the earth.  You have only circled one block in Rhode Island at this point.  You haven't even conceived of Papua New Guinea as existing within you, or existing period.  You are so vast that it takes many lifetimes to learn the neighborhood of the block you've been circling in this lifetime, let alone the city, state and country of origin for that block.  

Knowing that there is infinitely more that is unseen than seen is where you begin.  Once you embrace the fact that your perspective is limited and your knowing super-duper small, when it comes to what is possible, you can swing to the other side where everything and anything is possible (and is).  You can begin to imagine yourself where you want to be in whatever form that takes.  You can see yourself doing gymnastics, aerial work, having no cellulite, building strong abs, flaunting your toned body, or feeling GREAT all of the time.  Once you embrace the idea of anything being possible you can stop using the excuse of not ever being perfect as a reason to give up. You can begin to open your heart to what you don't know in reality but you know must be.  

So, the next time you are doing the same thing you've done before, make it different.  Open to being more, giving more, getting more.  Understand that growth happens on an atomic level and, like a fractal, just keeps going and going and going.  You are changing and growing with every moment.  So when I ask you or you are asked to do more than the day before, be open and feel what comes.

xo

a