purpose

Totally You

Hiya, If you are going to change the world you may not always be well received. Hell, even if you are not trying to change the world, someone will take issue with you at some point. You cannot, if you plan on living longer than a few days, get through life without someone feeling some sort of way that isn't all lollipops and fairies about you. You will have to figure out how to manage triggering someone, being triggered by someone and being liked and disliked for no apparent reason. To top it all off, if you plan on truly being your authentic self you may need to practice being independent in because authenticity, if you have come to it later in life (past the age of 30) you will lose those who enjoyed you when you weren't in touch with who you truly are.

First you must realize that we are all here for a reason. You may not want to think that because it means you need to figure out your reason and this can seem daunting. Your reason can be one singular thing or it can be everything you are ever associated with. The truth of the matter is it is all of the above. Your reason is everything you come into contact with, directly or indirectly. Nothing you interact with is by chance or mistake. Think about it. Our cells do everything on purpose; every function in our body is because of something else that has come before it… at no point does a cell say that its division had no meaning. We are made up of these purposeful beings, how in he world could what we do be by chance or just because?

So, now that you understand you are here on purpose, go and be. Be fully yourself without concern that you aren't doing it right. You are doing it exactly how it is meant to be done by you. When you feel the need to change, for whatever reason, you will and it will be good; until then you may need to understand why you aren't always loved for being you, or supported for that matter… even by those you love. People are wounded, sensitive and afraid; they are also brainwashed. We live in a world where people believe that it is unpatriotic to question the government that was brought into existence to serve us; where we believe that we are separate from one another and some are better than others. When someone in this pack of wolves decides to do what resonates with them despite what the pack feels about it there will be some discomfort, to say the least.

There is no greater reward than being accepted for who you truly are; no greater struggle either. When you open yourself to not fitting in, to doing what makes sense to your soul, not your intellect, you will begin the journey that is paved with love, lifted by wings and filled with light. It is your road to yourself and, in that, the road to all of us. Let people hate, tell you that you need to change, feel insecure, defensive and downright insulted that you refuse to do what they think you should; then, keep on stepping cause you are doing something right.

authenticitydude

xo

a

To Die For

Hiya, I remember when I knew that there was something that I would die for… not a person, per se… but a cause, a belief.  I remember seeing myself fighting for it, I had a future flash where I was standing in front of people who couldn't believe what I was saying, that I was telling them something that hurt their basic understanding of the world.  I didn't back down, in this vision.  I stood my ground and I communicated, as best I could, why this was such an important viewpoint… how it could and would change the world.  When I finished viewing this flash I felt like I had stepped into my ruby slippers… like I was home.  Everything changed and at the same time everything stayed the same.

When you find out what you are meant to do it can be overwhelming.  You may wonder how you will get from where you are to where you are going.  The steps may not seem obvious to you at first.  The way reveals itself over time and is nothing that needs to be obsessed about.  Finding your calling is like coming home to a place you have never been but know better than you know anything else.  When I realized what I would die for I felt less like celebrating and more like taking a deep breath and moving forward.  At the point where I accepted my fate I started to test out my new surroundings.  I began seeing myself saying things that I wouldn't have said before, putting myself in situations that were familiar but responding to them in a completely new way.  I took my ego out of the driver's seat and into the back seat.  Ego is necessary but does not need to run the show.

Knowing that there is something bigger, something more, and that you are bigger and something more, takes the fear away.  We usually feel fear when we feel small, when we feel lost.  When you take the fear away you have love; lots of it, all of it that you can stuff into your soul and your pockets until it overflows and starts to drown those around you.  When you figure out what matters more than anything, what you were meant to do and what you would be content finishing this experience of being human doing, you realize that everything was just to get you to this feeling, this knowing, this place that, in reality, is the same for everyone… You say potato I say love.  One in the same.  You will find that the only thing that makes sense to give over yourself to is going to be made up of love.

Love would be why I would die and why I will die.  Love brought this experience as Aina about and will end this Aina experience as well.  Love is what I will continue to teach to the masses, in its various aspects, and love is what we all are, where we originated from and what we will return to.  What I saw was me, letting everyone know that we are all deserving, that we are all love, that we will have to begin to head that direction in order to bring about lasting change.  I spoke up for the idea that the souls that sacrifice themselves to be hated in this world by incarnating as tyrants are just as beautiful as the ones who are the victims of the tyrants themselves.  I fought for everyone to accept what is and be open to what is given in each moment.  At some point we will learn that love, not punishment, brings about love and motivates where nothing else will.  Until then I will work tirelessly to awaken others to seeing the divine in their fellow man and, more importantly, in themselves.

image-31

xo

a

Reason This

Hello there, Everything happens for a reason.  I have said this to you before.  If you are close to me in proximity, you have heard these words fall from my lips and know that everything, not some things, everything is what I truly mean.  There is nothing that is for naught… nothing that is without a purpose.  You can do no meaningless things.  The secret isn't to find the meaning it is to uncover it.  When you begin to see the world as an ordered thing, something that has a language, information, desires, set ups and outcomes, as a living breathing intelligent thing, you can begin to let go of judgment and be open to wonder.

When you miss an appointment you may not, in the moment, feel that great about it.  You might go over the fact that you have been swamped and unorganized.  You may even tell yourself things like, "you always do this, what is wrong with me!"  You may beat yourself up more or less than that as well.  You may take hours or longer to figure out how you are simply a fuck up in so many other areas of your life and this appointment fiasco is just highlighting it for you.  How often have you spent time reinforcing your "failures?"  

Now imagine you understood that everything is moving along as it should.  How would that change your reaction to a perceived mistake?  How could it change your reaction?  You could stop, breathe and ask, "why did I need to miss that appointment?  What am I supposed to take from this?"  When you begin to ask questions around a situation that is less than ideal, you begin to get out of it some of what it has to offer you.  When you recognize the intelligence of the universe as greater than your own you don't become passive, you become receptive.  You are then able to move about the world without judging yourself or others and instead, get to the root… get to the reason.  Maybe your missing the appointment was because you needed time to do something else or you needed to be motivated to organize your work and calendar, or maybe it was because you needed to feel shitty so you could get annoyed with feeling shitty and then read this blog and make a shift in your thinking.  When you begin to look for the reasons, the reasons become clear. 

Now, what if you approached your life with receptivity, wonder and awe?   What kind of world would yours look like?  Love is abundant when you do this, life flows with little resistance, and everyone is a teacher and a lover.  You are calmer, more peaceful. It doesn't mean you won't be annoyed about this or that… you are human and that sometimes goes with the territory and is needed and necessary… but you don't have to spend time putting yourself down when you can spend that same time supporting your own personal growth and forward movement.  Get out-of-the-way, you are a part of the orchestra and though you don't conduct the entire thing, you can determine if the sound is pretty or off-key.  The sound of judgment is the sound of discord, it is the language of abuse.  Let go of the judgment, let in the harmony and grace of life and keep on wondering and uncovering.  

xo

a

A Meaningful, Purposeful Calling

Hellllllooooo!  (a type of calling!) A calling, as defined by Merriam-Webster is 1) a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence; 2) the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages; and 3) the characteristic cry of a female cat in heat.  Let's stick with the first two for this entry.  

Most people would love to have a clear calling, an obvious direction to head in, an arrow pointing toward what they were meant (meant: to have in the mind as a purpose) to do.  Meaning, for most everyone, is very important.  The thing is, we aren't actually allowed to place meaning on our own.  When we are born there are already people here who have decided what is and is not important.  So when you are growing up you may have been told not to waste your life doing anything meaningless.  This actually meant to stay away from various things that were undesirable in the eyes of society, your parents, your family.  When so many things are made to be wrong, how does one go about actually discovering their calling, especially if it falls into the "meaningless" category?  

Before we get to that, let's talk about purpose or having in mind a purpose… which in some ways is a calling and others isn't.  Your purpose can be more than one thing (so to for your calling, one can have several and one can have a calling that is broad enough to encompass a variety of ways to fulfill it,  i.e. serving others) and that one thing can be different depending on who is judging it.  You are put here for so many reasons it is nearly impossible to list.  Your purpose is for every relationship you have, all that is learned from your connection with others and all that the others learn from their connection with you.  Your purpose may also be to create space in some way for someone who may never have met you, or for any other seemingly infinite reasons.  Everything matters, so everything has a purpose… even that breath you just took, and that one.  Your sitting reading this blog, or walking and reading, or laying in bed reading it.  You are where you are supposed to be… there is a purpose to every movement and connection you make and every breath that you take.  You don't have to do anything to matter.  By being you are affecting the world.  You are making it something it wouldn't be without you.  So we could conclude that the initial calling for all of us was to come into this world!  Congratulations!!!  You did it!  You found your calling.  Now, where were we.  Oh yes, that other calling… what do we do once we are here???

Well, now you know that you are meaningful.  Hello!  You are nothing but meaning.  You decide the meaning you are to yourself, and others decide what you mean to them.  But meaningless, impossible!  So whatever you do has meaning, it just isn't the same meaning across the world.  Meaning is an opinion and it is very personal.    

So if everything has meaning then how do we get back to a calling?  A calling is the most meaningful to you.  It resonates the most with you.  You find yourself drawn to it.  You vibrate on high when you are engaged in/with/around it.  When you take away the judgment of something having to be meaningful and replace it with the understanding that you cannot do anything that isn't meaningful, you can begin to see that your desire to doodle all of the time may just be what you were meant to do.  Maybe you love popping pimples… somebody has to do it… that could be your calling.  You may enjoy cleaning tables, reading books, changing light bulbs, steaming floors, singing, pantomime, cheering people on, giving massages, cycling, talking, reading, watching, being… your calling could be anything under the sun.  The first step to figuring it out is letting it be heard.  Taking off the earmuffs that we put on or were put on us and letting our souls voice be heard finally.  Your calling could be to search for a calling… and where that journey takes you.  

The most important thing is to let go of what you think your calling should be like, look like, or feel like.  Do what you enjoy, do what brings your soul the most love and happiness and the rest will fall into place.  

xo

a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.  

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Astrology Readings.

Healing.

My Karma.

My Knowing.

Love in all of its forms.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Your gift to the world is unique.  You are here on purpose and it is your duty to own that purpose.  No matter what you are engaged in, no matter how it is judged, it has a purpose, a higher meaning than what we, on this plane, can fully see.  Instead of worrying about someone's version of us, or what is right, ask yourself what you need and wait for the inspiration to come.  It could be that you need outside assistance, listen to that, it could be that the work is simply and inside job, listen to that too.  You choose the path you follow, no one else, and we all are working on doing the best we can.

We often don't recognize that we are ALL doing the best we can.  We judge and put down and misuse one another regularly.  The abuse we suffer at the hands of one another is staggering.  It is in direct proportion to the abuse we inflict upon ourselves.  With that understanding, look at the world, see the pain the hurt and the suffering… now stop contributing to it in ANY way… It takes that, the diligent self-care of all of us to create a different world for all of us to thrive.  So the next time you want to put someone down, including yourself, remember that you are sending that abuse out into the world and supporting it in others.  You are creating an energetic space where love doesn't blossom.  You are holding space for fear.  

Remember, you are, like everyone else, trying to figure you out.  You are working to learn and grow and love and know.  When you extend that understanding of your life to others it is extended back to you.  Send out love get back love… it is simple.  When you have more support than resistance, learning what you are here to do is simpler to figure out.  

Have fun!  Share love!  Be light!

xo

a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.  

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Tabitha, my favorite baby girl kitty.

My iPhone 5, love that damn thing!

Saying What I Mean.

Eastlake Neighborhood.

My Body, It is amazing.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I am, in actuality, a people pleaser… somewhat recovering.  I love to help others feel GREAT!  I have gone way out of my way to make sure someone was comfortable, felt heard, loved and appreciated.  I know that I have a gift to raise vibrations and I take it seriously.  I want to spread joy dammit!!!  :)

But sometimes, I have to talk about the difficult things and, over the years, I have become much better at it.  I don't mind confrontation, I just want it to be useful and productive.  However, I will confront a situation whether or not someone feels like it would be useful if I feel like it needs to happen.  I trust myself to know when I need to do something or not and believe that everything happens for a reason.  I don't mind someone having to deal with something they don't want to deal with, because I see that as a useful situation.  We rarely go towards what is most difficult.  We go towards what is known and comfortable and safe.  Growth happens when we are challenged so, though I sometimes would prefer to make someone smile, I shake things up.

I call myself the agitator.  I also know that it is a part of my process, my calling, my life to move things, people, situations to more, greater, better.  So, though I would love to coast sometimes, it isn't my lot in life to do so.  If you are reading this, in some way we are meant to connect and I am meant to move you towards something… towards yourself perhaps… sometimes it will be a gentle nudging, sometimes it will be a harsh kick in the ass.  It really depends on you, what you need, when you need it.

Let's get started.  :)

xo

a

 

No Excuses, No Regrets

Howdy!! I have a lot of experience in a lot of areas.  I feel that I have really lived a life.  I am pretty protective of my life… and around judgment of it.  I don't care to hear what you think if you are thinking negatively about my life.  I know that I am doing what I am supposed to do… period.  I don't ever feel that I am living in error.  I also make it clear to everyone that I know that they are not allowed to put that energy into my world, that I am making mistakes.  There are no mistakes or missteps in my life.  None.  I see the beauty of every moment, every nuance.  It truly is spectacular.

Today as I was hanging out with a dear, dear friend, one of my favorites, and discussing the oft-times hilarious and other times tragic situations of my love life when she quickly pointed out that I needed to stop dating this or that type of person.  I immediately realized that I had basically had it up to my neck with any and everyone missing what I believe to be the point of life and my life in particular (since it was what was under discussion).  First, do I  feel like I need to stop doing something, because who gives two shits about someone else thinking I need to do something different?  I don't, that is who.  Second, am I wondering "why me" as a victim minded person would?  Ummm no.  I know why… always do.  Do I feel like I don't have a handle on it?  Or is it that she or anyone, for that matter, would like to see me do something different?  If that is the case, what anyone thinks about me is none of my business… unless you think I am awesome… then please, share away!

After I quickly communicated to her why I feel it important to honor my experiences and she, being the brilliant, loving person she is, quickly got it.  I have to hand it to her… and to all of my friends, I am very blunt and pull no punches most of the time… they are all an amazing lot.  I am blessed.

We have so many motivations for communicating that I could write a blog everyday for the rest of my life just on the reasons behind what we do.  It is infinite and infinitely interesting.  Nothing is ever what it seems.  The same goes for everything else in life.  I know why I have dated the lovely people I have dated.  I know why the universe has given me the opportunity to see myself through these folks.  I understand and am so appreciative.  I have no regrets, I want nothing other than what I have had because I am where I am because of what I have experienced….and I LOVE where I am. I understand so much more than many because I have risked a lot more than many.  I have jumped into situations without weighing the pros and cons.  I have weighed the pros and cons and held back.  And I have done a whole bunch in between.  I have some patterns but mostly I go with what I am supposed to do… from my inner knowing.  I have never stayed in a situation that wasn't beneficial to me in some way.  Actually, this is true for all of us.  We don't do anything that we are getting nothing from.

When you are living your life you are experiencing everything you need to in order to get out of it what is most important for your soul.  No one has authority over you in this way.  You have things you need to learn, experiences you need to have and people who you need to know.  Whatever the drama, joys, or encounters, they are yours to glean from them what you will… and you will have ample opportunity to learn, every day, in every way.

So live your life… it belongs to you!

xo

a