calling

To Die For

Hiya, I remember when I knew that there was something that I would die for… not a person, per se… but a cause, a belief.  I remember seeing myself fighting for it, I had a future flash where I was standing in front of people who couldn't believe what I was saying, that I was telling them something that hurt their basic understanding of the world.  I didn't back down, in this vision.  I stood my ground and I communicated, as best I could, why this was such an important viewpoint… how it could and would change the world.  When I finished viewing this flash I felt like I had stepped into my ruby slippers… like I was home.  Everything changed and at the same time everything stayed the same.

When you find out what you are meant to do it can be overwhelming.  You may wonder how you will get from where you are to where you are going.  The steps may not seem obvious to you at first.  The way reveals itself over time and is nothing that needs to be obsessed about.  Finding your calling is like coming home to a place you have never been but know better than you know anything else.  When I realized what I would die for I felt less like celebrating and more like taking a deep breath and moving forward.  At the point where I accepted my fate I started to test out my new surroundings.  I began seeing myself saying things that I wouldn't have said before, putting myself in situations that were familiar but responding to them in a completely new way.  I took my ego out of the driver's seat and into the back seat.  Ego is necessary but does not need to run the show.

Knowing that there is something bigger, something more, and that you are bigger and something more, takes the fear away.  We usually feel fear when we feel small, when we feel lost.  When you take the fear away you have love; lots of it, all of it that you can stuff into your soul and your pockets until it overflows and starts to drown those around you.  When you figure out what matters more than anything, what you were meant to do and what you would be content finishing this experience of being human doing, you realize that everything was just to get you to this feeling, this knowing, this place that, in reality, is the same for everyone… You say potato I say love.  One in the same.  You will find that the only thing that makes sense to give over yourself to is going to be made up of love.

Love would be why I would die and why I will die.  Love brought this experience as Aina about and will end this Aina experience as well.  Love is what I will continue to teach to the masses, in its various aspects, and love is what we all are, where we originated from and what we will return to.  What I saw was me, letting everyone know that we are all deserving, that we are all love, that we will have to begin to head that direction in order to bring about lasting change.  I spoke up for the idea that the souls that sacrifice themselves to be hated in this world by incarnating as tyrants are just as beautiful as the ones who are the victims of the tyrants themselves.  I fought for everyone to accept what is and be open to what is given in each moment.  At some point we will learn that love, not punishment, brings about love and motivates where nothing else will.  Until then I will work tirelessly to awaken others to seeing the divine in their fellow man and, more importantly, in themselves.

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xo

a

A Meaningful, Purposeful Calling

Hellllllooooo!  (a type of calling!) A calling, as defined by Merriam-Webster is 1) a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence; 2) the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages; and 3) the characteristic cry of a female cat in heat.  Let's stick with the first two for this entry.  

Most people would love to have a clear calling, an obvious direction to head in, an arrow pointing toward what they were meant (meant: to have in the mind as a purpose) to do.  Meaning, for most everyone, is very important.  The thing is, we aren't actually allowed to place meaning on our own.  When we are born there are already people here who have decided what is and is not important.  So when you are growing up you may have been told not to waste your life doing anything meaningless.  This actually meant to stay away from various things that were undesirable in the eyes of society, your parents, your family.  When so many things are made to be wrong, how does one go about actually discovering their calling, especially if it falls into the "meaningless" category?  

Before we get to that, let's talk about purpose or having in mind a purpose… which in some ways is a calling and others isn't.  Your purpose can be more than one thing (so to for your calling, one can have several and one can have a calling that is broad enough to encompass a variety of ways to fulfill it,  i.e. serving others) and that one thing can be different depending on who is judging it.  You are put here for so many reasons it is nearly impossible to list.  Your purpose is for every relationship you have, all that is learned from your connection with others and all that the others learn from their connection with you.  Your purpose may also be to create space in some way for someone who may never have met you, or for any other seemingly infinite reasons.  Everything matters, so everything has a purpose… even that breath you just took, and that one.  Your sitting reading this blog, or walking and reading, or laying in bed reading it.  You are where you are supposed to be… there is a purpose to every movement and connection you make and every breath that you take.  You don't have to do anything to matter.  By being you are affecting the world.  You are making it something it wouldn't be without you.  So we could conclude that the initial calling for all of us was to come into this world!  Congratulations!!!  You did it!  You found your calling.  Now, where were we.  Oh yes, that other calling… what do we do once we are here???

Well, now you know that you are meaningful.  Hello!  You are nothing but meaning.  You decide the meaning you are to yourself, and others decide what you mean to them.  But meaningless, impossible!  So whatever you do has meaning, it just isn't the same meaning across the world.  Meaning is an opinion and it is very personal.    

So if everything has meaning then how do we get back to a calling?  A calling is the most meaningful to you.  It resonates the most with you.  You find yourself drawn to it.  You vibrate on high when you are engaged in/with/around it.  When you take away the judgment of something having to be meaningful and replace it with the understanding that you cannot do anything that isn't meaningful, you can begin to see that your desire to doodle all of the time may just be what you were meant to do.  Maybe you love popping pimples… somebody has to do it… that could be your calling.  You may enjoy cleaning tables, reading books, changing light bulbs, steaming floors, singing, pantomime, cheering people on, giving massages, cycling, talking, reading, watching, being… your calling could be anything under the sun.  The first step to figuring it out is letting it be heard.  Taking off the earmuffs that we put on or were put on us and letting our souls voice be heard finally.  Your calling could be to search for a calling… and where that journey takes you.  

The most important thing is to let go of what you think your calling should be like, look like, or feel like.  Do what you enjoy, do what brings your soul the most love and happiness and the rest will fall into place.  

xo

a