Help Me

Hiya! In the past when I felt swamped or overwhelmed I would often stop reaching out, stay home, answer few calls and keep to myself.  In theory it is a good idea to cocoon myself so that I could renew myself.  However, reaching out can help make whatever I am going through smaller and more manageable.  When you let others know what is happening in your world you allow your world to shrink, not seem so daunting and you might just see a way out of the stress heap you are under.  Admitting that I needed help was hard, asking for help was harder.

As a life coach I am there for anyone and everyone that needs me to be.  I hold space for people so that they can better view their world and make the changes that they would like to make.  I help take their stress from keeping them stuck to motivating and initiating change.  I am always inspired by the amazing people who reach out and ask me to help them.  It is a HUGE deal to know that you cannot do it on your own, that you don't need to do it on your own.  Life is so much sweeter when lived with others… when you understand that we are here to learn about ourselves through our relationship with others.  When you allow help, when you give permission, you receive it faster than you can imagine.  Usually the only thing that is standing in the way between you and your ideal world is you not asking or asking for others to participate; giving permission for others to help you.

For some reason (conditioning from our society) we believe that we are here to do everything on our own.  The truth is we are dependent on one another no matter how much we would like to think we stand alone.  We need each other and always will.  You have what I need and I have what you need.  It is about sharing, assisting, helping.  Are there ways in which you could use help but you have a judgement around asking?

I ask for help now.  It is more fun to be a part of  team.  I like the fact that others are just as excited to assist me as I am to assist them.  Life is easier with help.  More fun.  Less overwhelming.  Better, overall.  Giving others the permission to assist was a big step from struggling to make it in my chosen life path and success.  Asking for help made me stronger than I ever would have been on my own.



Don't Stop, Get It, Get It

Howdy, Whatever it is that you are doing in order to reach some goal or another you will need one thing: discipline.  You will need to keep doing whatever it is that you are doing and not stop when you feel like the results aren't coming.  My favorite line from anyone is, "I have tried everything."  I want to complete the sentence with, "and stuck with nothing."  How can you wonder why you haven't gotten where you wanted when you give up on everything?

Getting somewhere you haven't been isn't some glamorous event.  At the end of your journey, when you have reached your goal, others may see it as some overnight transformation.  You are the only one that really knows (besides your partner, therapist and maybe a friend or two) what you went through to get to where you are, starting from where you were.  Reaching your dreams is a lot of work, a lot of struggle, a lot of letting go and a whole lot of holding on.

People ask me on a regular basis if I get sleep.  I do get sleep, but it comes around my getting my dreams accomplished.  I know what I want and where I am going and sleep sometimes gets in the way if it is hours long.  So two hours here, 3 or 4 there sprinkled with the 20-45 minute snoozes I do while waiting to do something else.  I get my rest, just not in the way most do.  I have a goal, several, and that requires me to do things differently than others may want me to do… or understand.  My goals aren't about others so why would how I reach them be about anyone else's idea either?  I also have to remind myself that I set this goal and why (especially when I am exhausted).  Discipline.  Doing it.  Making it happen.  Even when I don't want to.  In all honesty, I always want to do what works for my goals.  Do I always?  No.  But 98% of the time I am working in a way that will and is fostering my reaching my goals.

What goals are you currently wanting to reach?  How have you sabotaged, if at all, your goals?  What scares you about reaching your dreams?  How long have  you had them and how many times have you given up on your dreams?  Sticking with something is hard when you don't know the outcome.  Well, you never know the outcome of anything, save for life.  Death is always the outcome.  So what we do between the birth and the death is always the unknown.  You aren't actually sure of anything and risk things on a daily basis regardless.  So what exactly is the issue with doing something and not letting it go just because your goals haven't been reached in a month.  You will need to take steps.  We are, all of us, trying to be somewhere we aren't instead of embracing where we are and looking forward to the inevitable change that we are heading towards.  So maybe the first step is small and seemingly insignificant.  Do it anyway.  Who cares what and how you judge it, just do it.  Then do it again.  Then again.  Until it is just what you do, you see change, and then it will be off to the next dream.



Feel The Change

Howdy, We find any and every reason to stay where we are.  We rarely take ownership of the fact that being where we are is comfortable because it is known.  We don't want to leave a place that we are certain of to go towards something that is not guaranteed.  We know that there will be things lost when we make a change and are afraid of those losses.  Loss, even when it is something we don't want, can be difficult.  We get used to the most unhealthy things and hold on to them for dear life because it is what we know.  All of that is ok.  It is simply the way that it is until it is not.

Letting go just enough in order to let something new and fresh in can be a difficult task.  It can mean taking everything that you are used to and shifting it just so it doesn't feel right.  Shifting it just so you can gain a new perspective.  That is the hardest part, sitting in the feeling of discomfort and knowing that feeling, that information is telling you that you are on the right track.  We get so caught up that we are our story that we believe that we cannot write a different one.  At some point in your life you didn't believe that anyone owed you anything.  At some point in your life you didn't believe that you needed to have a certain amount of this or that.  At some point what your story is now was not even a chapter.  At some point it wasn't so scary to try something new because everything was new.

Finding that place where risk was life isn't as hard as you may think.  It does take motivation.  You have to be ready to be somewhere other than where you are.  Usually tragedy or just being fed up becomes a catalyst for change; sometimes people coming into your life or a new job can be exactly what you need to begin to leave what is for what will be.  Either way, if you can remember the feeling of where you want to be, even if you have never been there, imagine the feeling.  You will find it easier, once you create the feeling inside of you, to find the things that bring that feeling to you in the outside world.   With the feeling of where you are going firmly planted inside and focused on, where you are will soon be where you wanted to be.



What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome? This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:



Free Returns.


Long Time - John De Sohn (song).  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Change is challenging.  When you really are ready to do something different in your world, to stop patterns that seem to be unrelenting, you are going to need to do almost everything differently.  You are going to have to pretend you are someone else and do what that person would do.  When you are writing a new story remind yourself that it too is fiction and when you need to change it to continue moving forward, know that you are not stuck in a loop, that you are just finishing a book and deciding what to write next.  You are a being that is creative.  Create what you desire in the world by feeling it and seeing it.  If it is love you seek, feel loved, be love.  If it is peace you desire, be peace, feel peaceful, if it is strength you want, be strong, feel strong.    

See love, feel love, be love.  See peace, feel peace, be peace.  See strength, feel strength, be strength.



What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Try it!!  Seriously.  Your world changes when you see what is GOOD in it. This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:




Fresh Fruit.


There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I said goodbye to one part of my life today… and hello to the next step.  I have always had a hard time moving on from one thing to the next despite the number of times I have done so.  There is always the feeling of letting someone down that I have wanted to avoid.  The truth is we all benefit from change.  Change is growth and we all need to stimulate movement.  I have never gone backward, I have never slowed down, I have never regretted moving forward.  I love where I am and am happy to be steadily getting better.  Contentment and Ambition work well together when both are supported by and originate from love.    

See love, feel love, be love.



No Pain, No Gain

Hiya, Sore.  I am.  I am sore.  Being sore is fantastic because it highlights areas I am not currently strong in.  It tells me that I am not there yet.  Wherever there is.  The workout I did is just an example of doing something outside of my comfort zone.  I can take that experience and apply it to other parts of my world.  I can look at various ways I have stretched myself or stayed within an area that was familiar.  I can see where I am sore emotionally, intellectually, and physically and know that I am growing, changing, learning and developing.  If I find myself in a place that is comfortable and I am not challenged I know there is work that is around the corner for me to see to, when I decide.

What have you done that recently that would get you sore?  In what areas have you challenged yourself?  Have you looked at what you thought you knew, felt and wanted and reevaluated it to the point where shifts occur?  Why have you or haven't you stretched past your regular, everyday routine?  What would benefit from you doing more than you have the day before, or doing differently?

Growth takes persistence, patience and awareness.  It also takes time and consistency.  Everyday you will be faced with the opportunities to do more than what you know.  You will have to continue to get sore, to do the work.  Change isn't usually an overnight thing.  My soreness will continue if I don't make the new workout a habit.  It is up to you to grab hold of the challenge, do the work to master it, and reap the benefit.

Have fun!



Friends Forever?

Hi there, In this ever-changing world we often try to keep things just as they were even when we are no longer feeling good about how they actually are.  An area that you may relate to this is in a friendship.  People get really worked up about this topic and I suppose it is because it hits close to home; no one wants to be that friend that is no longer needed/desired.  Everything goes through periods of obvious growth and can also appear to plateau.  Either way there is always shifting that is happening in a relationship.  Sometimes the shifts bring people closer and other times it pulls them apart.  This is not a negative or positive thing.  It is what it is. Where we run into trouble is when we judge the change, if we admit it at all, or we just outright resist it.

Relationships are about relating.  When we meet someone else and we find that connection, that spark, we feel so elated and hopeful.  We feel less alone in the world and we feel important in some way.  Someone likes YOU and wants to know who YOU are without a romantic entanglement, without obligation.  Friendships are without the drama, oftentimes, of family and/or romantic connections.  They are blessings.  Friends are your confidants, your heart when you can't find your beat, your voice when you can barely speak and your strength when you feel weak.  Friends are gifts, plain and simple.

Sometimes friendships change.  Sometimes relating becomes challenging.  Sometimes friendships end.

Have you ever felt that you don't relate to a friend the way you did before.  Maybe some life event occurred for you that shifted your world so much so that you no longer feel the same way about a lot of the things that you had in common with a friend.  Maybe your belief's changed, maybe you realize that you aren't happy in the relationship anymore and space would be the best thing for you.  What would you say to yourself about it?  Your friend?

Would you want a friend to tell you that they needed to distance themselves from you if that friend felt that it was the best thing for them to do?  How supportive could you be around the decision of your friend to end the relationship?  Do you desire a friend to stay your friend because you have a history or because you have a present and future?  What is wrong with a friendship ending?  In what world do you expect a relationship to never change, never need space, to always be what it was?

When we let go of expectations around friendships and accept them as they are, wonderful bonuses, we are able to let them go when they have given us all they have to give.  We are able to be honest about their present place in our lives.  You don't hold onto something because it used to work.  Transformation is rebirth and rebirth is more life.  Live, love, and sometimes you move on.  Letting a friendship go does not mean you didn't value the relationship; on the contrary, you value it too much to keep it going when it isn't true.

Take care,



Letting Go To Grow

"The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different."  ~Peter Drucker Howdy!

We hold on to things.  We hold onto feelings, people, places, jobs, experiences.  We take photos of food for goodness sake!  We don't seem to be able to let things go.  We believe that we can actually stop time, that we can stay in one place.   We make promises to never leave.  We sign contracts to always stay in place.  We believe we have control over growth.  Not so much.

Everything must change, nothing stays the same, the young become the old, mysteries do unfold (to quote one of my favorite songs).  At some point all the holding on will begin to feel burdensome and unhealthy.  At some point we won't want to wear the same jeans day in and day out.  Most of us are not there yet.  We live fearing the inevitable.  It is amazing to me how afraid of 'endings' we are… and beginnings for that matter.  Change is enough to send most people over the edge.  The most interesting part of this fear of change is how we handle it after the shock has worn off.  Most of us find that the grass is greener when all is said and done.  We realize, if we are being honest, that change is growth and growth means becoming more of who you are, learning more about the world, and ultimately evolution.  Staying in one place is akin to the death of the body or being inanimate.  When you don't move you die.

When you allow change to happen without the fear and the fuss you end suffering.  You are also better able to see where you weren't allowing for a blessing to enter until you made room.  Sometimes making room is letting go of what isn't serving you any longer.  That could be a relationship with a person, place or thing.  It could be a way of thinking or habits that you have acquired over the years.  Letting go of the stories we have retold time and time again allow for the greatest growth and the deepest change, which, in turn means you are opening yourself up for the biggest blessings and more life.

I take stock of my life consistently.  I end what doesn't work (though sometimes it takes me some time) and am always headed towards my dreams, my goals, my self.  I know that the more space I create the better able I am to fill it in the way that makes sense for where I am in that moment.  It is important to let go of the idea that where I am right now is where I will be… or that who I am right now is who I will be.  We are all, every single one of us, in progress.



"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly" ~Henri Bergson

Wind Beneath Our Wings

Greetings, I spend a lot of my time working to help others reach their goals.  I feel strongly about walking the walk and have never been one who has enjoyed when others only talk the talk.  I would never feel comfortable telling my clients to do something that I wouldn't do (unless it was due to a condition they had, or some other such concern).  I practice what I preach which allows me to trust in what I teach.  When I discuss teaching or coaching with anyone who is interested in doing the same I always ask if they have lived what they want to share.  Experience is the best teacher and certifications can be had by anyone.  When you are asking someone to sweat daily or asking someone to eat strictly you want to have done the same, in my opinion, so you know just what you are asking someone to do.  So you can support your clients on their journey to wellness.

Not everyone is going to become a Life Coach or a Personal Trainer.  Many people will be content to remain friends, family or partners of others.  Your role in supporting the one you love is just as important, if not more so.  You are the one that will hold your friend/partner/lover up when they are struggling with changes on their road to health.  Chances are you too could use some help around that very thing.  Bottom line:  without you they may not make it.  You are integral to their success on their journey to wellness.  Not moving your body or eating, in front of them, what they cannot (but would love to) eat is not only unsupportive, it is sabotage.

I have heard the argument, "Why should I have to change?  I am not the one on the diet!"  No, you aren't the 'one' changing his/her way of eating, but you are with the one who needs it.  If you don't have the forethought to be with someone who doesn't have to grow/change/develop in any way then you may have to deal with the dance you have had with this person changing.  You may have to change with it to keep the dance going.  Such is life.

Find ways to be supportive around the ones you love when they are learning to love who they are.  Find ways to get over the fact that everything changes including who you are with.  Know that your support of your friend/family/partner might be what catapults them to greatness.



Gonna Make A Change...

"A year from now you will wish you had started today."  ~Karen Lamb Good Day!

Change is inevitable, however, our minds and bodies absolutely love the status quo.  We literally hold on to what we have for dear life, even if what we have isn't what we ultimately want.  There are so many ways that we sabotage ourselves or allow others to do the same just so things don't change.  The reasons we don't change are many:  lack of self-worth, belief, love… fear.  Basically we get stuck, all of us, and we do everything we can (sometimes consciously) to stay stuck.

When we are making big changes, communicating these changes to others can sometimes be what stands in the way of where we are and where we are attempting to go.  Often we don't communicate what we are working on because we don't want to be viewed as flawed or we don't want to face how others will feel about our changes.  Whether it is giving up drinking, eating only whole foods, working out more, including a spiritual practice, or any number of other changes, we fear other's opinions of our choices.  The only reason we fear what someone may say is because we are questioning what we are doing ourselves.  The truth is you may get resistance from others around your changes.  That isn't surprising.  Change is scary for those who are stuck, or those who feel that stability is what you should be striving for.  However, if you give those people the chance, and the right energy around your decisions, they will have to either come on board or fall off.  Many times letting others know that you are changing and that you need support the door for them to do the same is opened.  I have seen many of my friends and loved ones make big shifts after being asked to support others around shifts of their own.  The flip-side of this is that if you communicate your changes in a way that says you are not sure or supportive of your own decisions, your loved ones will support your lack of certainty by being seemingly unsupportive.  They may sabotage you, they will test your resilience.  They are reflecting what you have shown them, that is all.

Many of my clients end up changing their relationship to food and exercise.  Most end up afraid of the reaction of those in their life that are used to how the status quo.  Obviously their friends and family have supported the behaviors that have allowed them to maintain a lifestyle that creates illness and dis-ease… so the fear that they won't be supported in the change isn't unfounded, after all, when we see others changing we begin to look at ourselves.  However, we all need to give our family and friends the chance to support us and the opportunity to do some self-reflection.  They love us, they want the best for us even when it may not seem that way.  Communicating in a way that lets others know that you are secure in your decision gives them direction to be secure in your decision as well.  You have to own what you are doing and communicate as such. You also need to understand that change is hard and that the resistance you may get is not about you at all.  Your changing will ripple out in so many awesome ways, it is assured. You will be tested regularly by your own voices and from the voices of others.  After a while the become less and less impactful.  The bottom line is, when you are ready to make a change, really ready to make it, when you own your decision to do so, nothing will hold you back, not even yourself.



"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."  ~Andre Gide

Growth Is Evidence For Life

"Change always comes bearing gifts."  ~Price Pritchett Hi there!

I mentioned to a friend today that I have been noticing shifts happening in people all around me.  It seems that big life changes are being made, internally and externally.  Maybe it is 2012, who knows.  I simply see and feel people's growth happening at a seemingly accelerated pace and I am excited.

I feel strongly that now is the time to acknowledge areas in your life that you have ignored, denied or been fearful of facing.  See where that takes you.  What are some things you would like to see happen in your life and what would it take to make those things happen?  When change is in the air all you need to do is breathe (at first, then act).  I believe that we affect one another, that we are all connected.  When I change something about my life for the better I am able to help others do so simply by being an example.  When you see that something is possible for one you are better able to see it as a possibility for you as well.

Shifts are great because nothing can ever go back to the way it was.  Shifts are scary because of the same thing.  Often when you see yourself stuck or in a place that is static it is important to see how you are maintaining that position on purpose.  Change can be scary.  The unknown can bring up our fear of uncertainty.  However, it is even more scary, to me, to remain where I am with no forward movement to speak of.  I would consider that the ultimate death.  How is your fear of change making it impossible for you to reach your potential?  Do you have an idea of what your potential is?

Good luck with all of the changes in your internal world, I am sure you can feel it.  I know that when you are open to all that is in store the gifts pour in like a torrential rain.  I am always excited to hear about it too… so please share.

"The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions."  ~Ellen Glasgow



What A Trip

Heya, What a trip I've had. Sometimes trips are just trips. You go, you see, you do various things, you come home... You aren't really challenged and therefore you aren't really changed. Then there are trips that shape you, shift you.  You go, you see and then you discover something else, something you didn't know you needed to discover.

When I traveled to South Africa a few years ago I learned much more than I could have dreamt.  I was shoved into clarity around many areas I had been foggy on. My priorities came clear.  I had been in a troubled relationship and ties needed to be cut definitively.  I was working in advertising and felt completely unfulfilled. I was coaching rowing and didn't think it was exactly where I would end up, it felt too small but I wasn't sure what was next.  I saw South Africans disliking themselves the same way African-Americans do.  I had conversations with white South Africans who felt African-Americans shouldn't call themselves African.  I spent time on safari and realized I hadn't been really still… really, until then.  It was an amazing trip.

This trip was pretty similar.  Work stuff has been clarified and I am ready and excited for growth and expansion.  I connected with my family in ways I've always wanted to.  I feel clearer on my next steps in my life and love.  I am healing faster when I'm hurt seeing people wanting to be other than who they are.  I know where I'm going and why I've taken the roads I've taken to get here. It's all pretty great. There is an excited stillness that comes over me when I am living my life's purpose. There is a confident knowing. There is love.

How do you feel when you feel like you are on the right track? What sensations are associated with alignment to the universe for you?

I am on the plane heading home as I write. When I get there I have a class to prep for, animals to love, clothes to wash and memories to keep. I also am beginning a new chapter; one I am super excited to experience, thanks for joining me on my journey.



Dream A Little Dream

Hello peeps, Man does the heat bring out the stench of piss and poop and garbage that is all over New York.  I remember when I was a teenager living in New York City walking around with my sister on the weekends.  We would come home and shower before bed; wiping off our necks was always the most interesting part.  The wash cloth would be dark with the smog that had collected on us from walking around.  It was pretty amazing.  Luckily the air quality is better now and my neck doesn't get as dirty from walking around… I always check.  Even with all of the stinky stank I do love the city and enjoy visiting as much as I can.  I don't, however, enjoy the lack of recycling bins, the pissing on the walls, and the garbage everywhere.  It is possible for New York to smell great, look great and still maintain its awesomeness.

What if it was cleaner in the City?  What if it didn't smell like raw sewage?  Imagine living somewhere that was crowded and smelly?  How would you feel on a regular basis?  Would you be a little on edge?  Would you just get used to it?  Honestly, we are very adaptable.  We are able to get through what we have deemed unthinkable and live productive lives after.  We are able to live in a place that is dirty and stinks and see the beauty in it.  That does not mean we couldn't live in the same place where it smelled nice and was clean and not love that too.  Too often we take the status quo as the way it is supposed to be and we do little if anything to improve upon it.  Too often we accept mediocrity as how it is and always will be.  We set our expectations low because we don't want to be disappointed when the outcome isn't what we hoped.  Somewhere in our history we dreamed big and the dream never came about the way we wanted it to, or we were discouraged from dreaming by someone who had been disappointed in the past.  We have been taught to be ok with things being kind of shitty.  Have you ever told someone to just accept things as they are when you really meant for them to stop hoping things will get better?  Acceptance is important, no change happens without acceptance of the present circumstance.  Acceptance does not mean inaction.  When you accept things as they are you are able to see where they could be and know the work needed to get there (or at least you can see that there is work that can be done).  For example:  I eat too fast.  I have for a long time.  My father used to ask me if I ever tasted anything.  I accept this fact and now I plan on monitoring the speed at which I eat and slowing it down.  I accept that I am a fast eater that wants reforming.  Acceptance is awareness, awareness allows for growth.

What if we asked people how they would improve something instead of telling them to stop dreaming, wishing, wanting?  What if we helped each other become actionable?  What if we kept dreaming of a clean, peaceful, joyful, loving world?  What if we accepted that it isn't that way now and figured out ways to move in that direction?

Have a sparkly day!!!



Keep Your Compassionate Projection To Yourself :)

"I would like to explain the meaning of compassion, which is often misunderstood.  Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, but rather on the rights of the other:  irrespective of whether another person is a close friend."  ~Dalai Lama Most of us believe that in order to be compassionate we have to know how the other person feels and relate to it.  In order to feel for someone we need to get into their space and feel what they feel.  Many times this leads us to forgetting that we aren't them and will never be…  Listening and asking questions is the best way to show compassion, as well as respecting that person's right to do what they decide.  Too often we have no idea that we aren't feeling for someone, we are merely projecting how we might feel in the same situation.  We believe we are 'helping' when we tell someone why something is or is not good for them.  We would do well to heed our own advice since we are actually giving it to ourselves, using the other as a screen to project what is happening for us.

"Projection: The unconscious transfer of one's own desires or emotions to another person: we protect the self by a number of defense mechanisms, including repression and projection."

Just recently a family member asked for positive support around a possible move for her and her immediate family.  What she received in return was a good number of supportive replies and a couple of comments that basically told her she was too old to change.  That change would be detrimental, not only to her, but to her family as well.  It is funny to me that even after asking directly for support she received comments that told her she was making a mistake.  What I learned about the person who replied with warnings was that they, themselves, felt they were too old, too saddled, and too stuck to do anything other that what they are doing at this moment.  The idea of change is scary for them and they would prefer it if others behaved with similar fears so as to not stir their own issues up.  It is always best to never take someone's judgement around how you live your life too seriously.  Listen to them, if you choose.  Understand that they are telling you about themselves and love them for sharing.

When someone is doing something that isn't what is expected, how do you feel?  Are you supportive or are you threatened?  Do you feel like they should be following the 'rules' or do you have a twinge of excitement and inspiration with them forging their own way, doing what dare not be done?