Friends Forever?

Hi there, In this ever-changing world we often try to keep things just as they were even when we are no longer feeling good about how they actually are.  An area that you may relate to this is in a friendship.  People get really worked up about this topic and I suppose it is because it hits close to home; no one wants to be that friend that is no longer needed/desired.  Everything goes through periods of obvious growth and can also appear to plateau.  Either way there is always shifting that is happening in a relationship.  Sometimes the shifts bring people closer and other times it pulls them apart.  This is not a negative or positive thing.  It is what it is. Where we run into trouble is when we judge the change, if we admit it at all, or we just outright resist it.

Relationships are about relating.  When we meet someone else and we find that connection, that spark, we feel so elated and hopeful.  We feel less alone in the world and we feel important in some way.  Someone likes YOU and wants to know who YOU are without a romantic entanglement, without obligation.  Friendships are without the drama, oftentimes, of family and/or romantic connections.  They are blessings.  Friends are your confidants, your heart when you can't find your beat, your voice when you can barely speak and your strength when you feel weak.  Friends are gifts, plain and simple.

Sometimes friendships change.  Sometimes relating becomes challenging.  Sometimes friendships end.

Have you ever felt that you don't relate to a friend the way you did before.  Maybe some life event occurred for you that shifted your world so much so that you no longer feel the same way about a lot of the things that you had in common with a friend.  Maybe your belief's changed, maybe you realize that you aren't happy in the relationship anymore and space would be the best thing for you.  What would you say to yourself about it?  Your friend?

Would you want a friend to tell you that they needed to distance themselves from you if that friend felt that it was the best thing for them to do?  How supportive could you be around the decision of your friend to end the relationship?  Do you desire a friend to stay your friend because you have a history or because you have a present and future?  What is wrong with a friendship ending?  In what world do you expect a relationship to never change, never need space, to always be what it was?

When we let go of expectations around friendships and accept them as they are, wonderful bonuses, we are able to let them go when they have given us all they have to give.  We are able to be honest about their present place in our lives.  You don't hold onto something because it used to work.  Transformation is rebirth and rebirth is more life.  Live, love, and sometimes you move on.  Letting a friendship go does not mean you didn't value the relationship; on the contrary, you value it too much to keep it going when it isn't true.

Take care,

xo

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