integrity

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome?   This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Direct Communication (not sandwiching stuff).

Tiger Balm.

My Suunto.

Books.

Someecards.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Authenticity requires integrity and the ability to never pretend you are someone that you aren not.  When you pretend to be someone you aren't you waste the person that you are.  You don't allow that person a chance to shine, be loved, adored, admired, befriended and to improve.  When you decide that you aren't enough you will never have enough love, adoration, admiration or improvement.  You will feel like something is missing and you will constantly look for it, outside yourself in someone else.  That is the danger of trying to push yourself down, shove your truth away, deny who you are.  Not everyone will love you, not everyone will want to be with you, but at least, being authentic, you will know the ones that are around are meeting (and loving) you where you are.  Are there areas you aren't showing to others because you are afraid of what they would think?  Are you ashamed of yourself in some way?  Take that information, own the shame, own the shadows and begin to heal and, finally, to be loved.

xo

a      

I Want You Now

Howdy! I was recently discussing dating and relationships with a friend when I mentioned that I am transparent when I meet someone, no building myself up here.  I basically consider false advertising lying.  I think that when a woman sucks in her stomach to seem thinner or a guy says he is taller in a personals ad, they are setting themselves up to fail.  Show yourself if you want yourself to be accepted.  I have been in many relationships, some great, some awful, all ended for one reason or fifty.  Either way, I never left the relationship feeling or being told that I hadn't communicated who I was.  Often it was the opposite.  I was often dating someone who wasn't who they said they were, but who they wanted to be.  I am not one to promise tomorrow when today is all we have.  So, I expect the same in return.  That expectation has proven difficult to meet in my journey towards love and intimacy.

I have spent relationships hoping for something that wasn't, waiting for someone who might never show.  It puts everyone at a disadvantage when you are hanging your hat on the future and hoping the present will hurry up to it.  The person who is being asked to be who they aren't yet is not happy.  Who would be when they aren't actually being loved for who they are?  The person waiting is, well, waiting, for someone who may never pop into existence.  Besides, if you want a love, a true love, I believe you have to truly be you without the promises of a you that is 'better' in your mind.  Promising a you of the future to someone puts so much stress on the relationship.  It is amazing how many of us feel that it is ok to try to change someone, or try to change for someone.

In past relationships I have massaged my partner regularly, written doting love notes, bought expensive jewelry, danced and made up songs, cooked elaborate meals, pampered in numerous ways, yet, when I meet someone now, I truly wouldn't think about saying that these are all of the things that I do.  They are things that I have done, that I know I am capable of doing but what I do now is work… a lot.  I write.  I listen to a lot of music and I talk… I love conversation.  The rest is to be discovered, not sold.  If someone doesn't like the person I am without them, then I certainly am not going to try to get them to.  At this point when I meet someone, I look at their life right now and believe that they are living it the way they have chosen to and that if I don't like it I may do better to move along.

We tend to believe that we are not enough as is.  We have decided the things that we judge unattractive should be hidden.  How on earth will we have the love we want when we don't show up to receive it?  I always admit that I am an asshole, a great friend, a loyal confidante and a Gemini who has to have her freedom.  If that doesn't work for someone then it most certainly won't work for me, regardless of what a great catch that person might seem to be.  A catch, in my opinion, is someone who wants me, that I want equally and the relationship works the way we feel it needs to.  Otherwise they are just fish in the sea.

xo

a

Wind Beneath Our Wings

Greetings, I spend a lot of my time working to help others reach their goals.  I feel strongly about walking the walk and have never been one who has enjoyed when others only talk the talk.  I would never feel comfortable telling my clients to do something that I wouldn't do (unless it was due to a condition they had, or some other such concern).  I practice what I preach which allows me to trust in what I teach.  When I discuss teaching or coaching with anyone who is interested in doing the same I always ask if they have lived what they want to share.  Experience is the best teacher and certifications can be had by anyone.  When you are asking someone to sweat daily or asking someone to eat strictly you want to have done the same, in my opinion, so you know just what you are asking someone to do.  So you can support your clients on their journey to wellness.

Not everyone is going to become a Life Coach or a Personal Trainer.  Many people will be content to remain friends, family or partners of others.  Your role in supporting the one you love is just as important, if not more so.  You are the one that will hold your friend/partner/lover up when they are struggling with changes on their road to health.  Chances are you too could use some help around that very thing.  Bottom line:  without you they may not make it.  You are integral to their success on their journey to wellness.  Not moving your body or eating, in front of them, what they cannot (but would love to) eat is not only unsupportive, it is sabotage.

I have heard the argument, "Why should I have to change?  I am not the one on the diet!"  No, you aren't the 'one' changing his/her way of eating, but you are with the one who needs it.  If you don't have the forethought to be with someone who doesn't have to grow/change/develop in any way then you may have to deal with the dance you have had with this person changing.  You may have to change with it to keep the dance going.  Such is life.

Find ways to be supportive around the ones you love when they are learning to love who they are.  Find ways to get over the fact that everything changes including who you are with.  Know that your support of your friend/family/partner might be what catapults them to greatness.

xo

a

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :) This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Healthy Boundaries!

Owning my choices.

David Zarza. (check out his website!) http://www.directedfocus.com/

Keli Keach Photography.  (website in progress!)

My Furry Animals! 

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

"Hiding how you really feel and trying to make everyone happy doesn't make you nice, it just makes you a liar." ~Jenny O'Connel, The Book of Luke

Are you helping people stay where they are or motivating them to their highest potential?  We sometimes feel that being honest, if it hurts someone's feelings, is mean.  It may be exactly why you are in their life… to tell them the truth, finally.  They can decide what to do with it, but at least they are getting the information.

Food for thought!

Nothing in the world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.  ~Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"Honesty is more than not lying.  It is truth-telling, truth-speaking, truth living, and truth-loving." ~James E. Faust

xoxoxo

a