Paradigm Shift

Howdy, Aloha, Good Morning, Moods, we all have them.  Some say Gemini's have a lot of them!  Ha.  Whatever.  The truth is feelings are information.  So how do we begin to get the information that we are being given.  Feelings aren't exactly what they seem to be.  It is like looking at a painting close up.  You have to get some distance in order to really take it all in.  Perspective.  Feelings are also a code to which we have the incorrect key more often than not.  The key we have is the paradigm of victim.

The victim paradigm looks like this:

Things happen to you.

You have no say over how you feel.

People owe you.

"Should" is a word that exists

Right and Wrong are used regularly

You wonder 'why me'

You have unspoken expectations or you expect others to know what you want and to do it

You believe your happiness is the responsibility of someone else

You don't do your own work

You 'don't know what to do' on a regular basis or you say it regularly

You believe others have more control or know better than you

When you live in this paradigm you expect the government to fix the economy.  You expect others to not cut you off when driving and you feel angry when they do.  You believe that your perfect mate is out there waiting and all you have to do is look pretty (or not) and they will show up and your life will make sense.  You believe that God created all things yet many of those things are wrong.  You look at what is and say it shouldn't happen.  You believe that if only x would do y everything would be ok.  You don't know why your life turned out how it did.  You throw your hands up and wonder 'why me???'  You get angry that someone didn't do something you never explicitly asked them  to do.  You believe that you deserve something from someone and that them not doing it means that they aren't right.

Do you know anyone who lives under this paradigm?  Do you?  Sometimes?

The paradigm of the person who sees feelings as a code to the secrets of the universe lives under the paradigm of the curious one.  The curious one looks at everything from the standpoint of "what am I experiencing this for, if anything.  When you are curious you are not judging.  You are asking, you are open, you are ready for what is.  You aren't trying to push things away and you aren't judging.

The curious one paradigm looks a little like this:

You are open

You want to know why but aren't attached to any answer

You do your work, you want to learn about you

You want to learn about others

You feel that things happen for a reason

You don't expect, you wonder

You know perspective is key

You see many sides because of perspective

You relate to others, you see yourself in their place

You see things as they are, from your perspective and you wonder how they would be if you weren't you

You ask questions

You take responsibility for your feelings

The 'Curious One' looks at the world from the place of awareness.  The CO is looking for the lessons of this existence.  We aren't here to condemn, blame, fall victim to or lament over life.  We are here to learn, love and grow.  Think about a baby.  What do they need?  Love, learning and growth.  That is really all we continue to need.  When you become that CO you begin to look at people as helpers.  They give you information about you.  You learn how you feel about things, what you want or don't want, like or don't like, need or don't need.  You get a chance to look at how you relate to the world through how others relate to you.  You also get a chance to see the world from other eyes when you are curious.  You ask questions, you listen to the answers and you believe that by changing your perspective most anything could make sense to you.  As the curious one, you do not deny, you accept.

How curious are you on a regular basis?  How can you bring some curiosity to your life?  Would you want to?



"Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.

Anyone who abandons you is for teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet.

Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.

Anything that has power over you is for teaching you how to take your power back.

Anything you hate is for teaching you unconditional love.

Anything you fear is for teaching you courage to overcome your fear.

Anything you can’t control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the Universe."

~Jackson Kiddard

Feel The Change

Howdy, We find any and every reason to stay where we are.  We rarely take ownership of the fact that being where we are is comfortable because it is known.  We don't want to leave a place that we are certain of to go towards something that is not guaranteed.  We know that there will be things lost when we make a change and are afraid of those losses.  Loss, even when it is something we don't want, can be difficult.  We get used to the most unhealthy things and hold on to them for dear life because it is what we know.  All of that is ok.  It is simply the way that it is until it is not.

Letting go just enough in order to let something new and fresh in can be a difficult task.  It can mean taking everything that you are used to and shifting it just so it doesn't feel right.  Shifting it just so you can gain a new perspective.  That is the hardest part, sitting in the feeling of discomfort and knowing that feeling, that information is telling you that you are on the right track.  We get so caught up that we are our story that we believe that we cannot write a different one.  At some point in your life you didn't believe that anyone owed you anything.  At some point in your life you didn't believe that you needed to have a certain amount of this or that.  At some point what your story is now was not even a chapter.  At some point it wasn't so scary to try something new because everything was new.

Finding that place where risk was life isn't as hard as you may think.  It does take motivation.  You have to be ready to be somewhere other than where you are.  Usually tragedy or just being fed up becomes a catalyst for change; sometimes people coming into your life or a new job can be exactly what you need to begin to leave what is for what will be.  Either way, if you can remember the feeling of where you want to be, even if you have never been there, imagine the feeling.  You will find it easier, once you create the feeling inside of you, to find the things that bring that feeling to you in the outside world.   With the feeling of where you are going firmly planted inside and focused on, where you are will soon be where you wanted to be.



Things Are

Howdy! There is a reason you are reading this, and that your feelings were hurt, or you were happy, or that a, b or c pissed you off.  Instead of lumping something you have experienced in the boxes of good and bad, why not see what those situations are telling you?

When you place the judgement of something being good you are inviting the possibility for bad to happen in your space.  Without good you would not have bad.  The contrast is what makes the distinction, the distinction is what brings about the contrast.  So, how do you not deem something as good or bad?  Well, you take the words out of your language, for the most part.  Seriously, perspective is everything.  I could label things as bad and good and walk away only to see that someone else had come along and changed the labels on a few things.  Wait!  There isn't an inherent good and bad?  You mean that some people think that physical scarring is good and others thing that it is abusive?  Some cultures arrange marriage and others do not, all label their way as the right way to do things. Perspective allows you to see that when you give something a side, you have to allow for it to have another.

Letting go of the words forces you to think in a new way.  Words are powerful, which is why they hurt or heal depending on the person, the words, the time, space, energy.  Take away the good and the bad and you have a thing, an experience that allows you to see the complexities within it.  There are areas that you may want to keep, give back or let go of.  When you look at something as information you pay closer attention to all of the details, you may begin to see where it is actually a benefit to you when you may have only seen it as bad or good.  Labels limit, it is their nature.

Try for one week to practice lessening the labels.  How do things begin to feel when you do?  What information is available to you?



On The Road

Hey! I never understood the importance of vacations when I was growing up… mainly because we were poor and could never afford to take them.  Being older, not poor, and having taken the time to relax on vacations, I see the power that lies within getting up and going away.  Absence can make the heart grow fonder and it can also give you time to go within and find yourself 'you time.'  When you have a life where you give of yourself to others (which we all do in some way or another) making time to give to yourself must become a priority.

I am heading to NYC tomorrow and looking forward to seeing my friends and family.  I am excited about getting back to the Sunday 'Open House' with my father (poets, singers, artists all convene to discuss their work, politics, history, the future, racial and social justice issues, and more), hanging with my brothers (I have 5) and catching up w/my friends.  I am also looking forward to having some distance between me and my daily grind.  I need to actually have the perspective to see where time is being utilized well and where it is not.  I know there are places where tightening up need to happen.  Being away is great because it gives me the space and the vantage point to see how I may be over extending and or being inefficient in various areas of my world.  I love how travel can be clarifying.

Now New York is pretty far away, but it is necessary for me to connect in person with my family.  However, one need not leave the state to find that time away that they need.  You can take a day trip to any number of places that are cheap and easy to travel to in order to get that same perspective.  I like to find cheap and lovely places to crash if I want a mini vacation.  Changing the scenery is a great way to spark changing the interpretation of things in your head.  Getting away for a moment can be the thing that keeps you from becoming bored, overwhelmed, or stuck.   Sleeping in a different place, waking up to different sounds, being surrounded by different energy, can bring a re-appreciation for your life that you don't often get when you don't actually leave it.

So get up, get out, and get a new view.  Sometimes we have to look at things from another direction to see them clearly.



See The Yummy

Howdy! Have you ever spent a day just noticing what was right with everyone and everything (including yourself)?  If so, how did it feel at the end of the day?  If not, would you try it?  Do you have resistance around trying it?  What do you have to lose.

How does one gain perspective?  Where did yours come from?  What makes it worth paying attention to more that anyone else's?  When you change the way you look at something that thing changes.  Your perspective shifting changes what you see, how you see it and the feelings associated.

We get what we see.  We see what we create.  We create all of the time unaware that we are in charge.  What happens if you were to decide to see everyone and everything as a being of light first.  Yes, even that one person that you cannot stand or the person who cut in front of you in the line at the grocery store.  See everyone as worthy, lovely, shining on one level or another, but shining nevertheless.  Now imagine everyone doing this?  How are world would change.

Decide a day to see the good.  It could be a What's Good Tuesday or a What is Wonderful Wednesday!  Either way, notice how people around you react, speak to you, connect with you.  Notice how you connect with yourself… and then please share.

"It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves." ~Carl Gustav Jung