past

Forget To Remember

Hiya!! What was your childhood like? What situations do you recall the most? Do you consider these things to be fact? Do you call this memory up often? Do you think it changes over time? It does. Memory is very faulty… our memories are a construction of our past, not a clone of it. What seems to be a single memory of say, a whisk, is actually your brain retrieving the name of the object, the shape, it's function, the object performing it's function. Basically, depending on your ideas about a whisk (plastic or metal) your history of a whisk (used for batter or for being battered) and desire for a whisk (wanting one that is flat or 3-D) your memory of a whisk can and does change. You may not be recalling the whisk from the past but creating a whisk for the present based on your feelings, ideas, desires and judgments. However, if you were to be asked if you remembered a conversation you had with friends the night before you might be someone who would swear that they remembered, and you would be insulted if someone said that your memory was fallible at best. We put a lot of stock in our memories, especially ones that we have used to build the idea of ourselves on.

What does knowing that we recreate our past by pulling what sticks out to us and then adding it to our judgments and so forth make you think? What if the stories of the past weren't really that factual? What if large chunks of memory were false? You probably have stories that you have been telling yourself that you believe to be the way it was. You may have based life decisions on these stories. You might even describe your personality in reference to these stories being the reason you behave certain ways. Correct? Do these stories support your positive movement forward or do they hinder you in some way? Are you harboring ill will or judgment against someone for doing something in the distant past that you keep "remembering" so you won't "forget"? Maybe the energy we spend recreating our past could best be spent creating our future.

What if you let go of the stories you hold onto as truth? Recognize that you can't be sure of what happened and it isn't happening now so move on. Holding onto things in the past does not ensure you are on firm ground in the present; it ensures you don't move on. It is going to be a good thing for you to realize that you can, since you do anyway, create the history for yourself that supports growth, love and learning. You can remember yourself into who you are becoming. You can decide to pick out different pieces of your past and hold onto those if they are conducive to movement in the way you desire it. We have unlimited power and potential that we smother aggressively moment to moment with doubt, uncertainty and false ideas of ourselves, each other and the world around us. Begin to think that all is possible, all is love and always was… your history will become your training for your unbelievably magnificent future.

future and past

future and past

xo a

You're Alright

luz-del-corazon_2615453 When everyone realizes they can do no wrong they will be all right.

You are not a mistake.  You have done nothing wrong.  You are meant to do, be, act, love, hate, cry, steal, hurt and enjoy whatever you have.  When you look at your life, what do you see?  When you go back over the history of you, what sticks out?  Where does your heart drift to, what images does your mind fixate on?  What are your judgments around those things past?  How often do you lament things that cannot be undone?  How many times have you wished you could change what was, make it better?  How many times have you been angry with your past self for not knowing better?  

Does that make sense?  If you don't know better how can you do better?  How does replaying something that isn't happening now helping you?  What does your past self get out of being told repeatedly that they are stupid, dumb, f*cked up and wrong?  If you cannot  change it, why are you abusing it into eternity?  Please stop.  You don't need to continue the hurt past the moment of pain. You can let it be what it is and not inflate it any more.  When you hold onto a perceived mistake and dissect it over and over you only imprint that which you obsess over.  You don't learn to not do something by being beaten into submission.  You just learn how to deal with being hurt, a lot.  You learn how to abuse and be abused.  You also miss out on all the good stuff that this instant was full of.  

Take a look again, at those moments, those defining times when you feel you were damaged beyond recognition or you damaged something or someone else.  Look at those times that you regret, that bring up feelings of pain or shame.  Take those moments one by one, hold them close and then look ahead, after them.  Where did those moments lead you?  What was the big amazing yummy fantastic place you landed after it all happened… where did you rise to that you wouldn't have without that mistake?  Where that issue bring you that is now a blessing.  Believe me, there is a place it took you, there is always somewhere those moments are leading us.  Always.  

You didn't do it wrong.  You didn't go the direction you shouldn't have.  You are not a mistake or mistaken.  You were going somewhere and one of the towns you had to visit was that situation you keep reliving and wanting to change.  But you wouldn't be where you are without it… you wouldn't be getting where you want to be without being where you were.  All of it, the stuff you enjoyed and the stuff you didn't… it is all right.  How would your life change if you viewed it as being On Purpose?

When you realize you can do no wrong, you will be alright.

xo

a