learning

Letting Go of What You Know

Hello, How are you responding to your life?  Are you resisting or accepting?  If you aren't sure then think about the ease of your life.  Is there any or are you stressed and generally unhappy?  We tend to resist change and accept what we have grown accustomed to (even when it doesn't make us happy).  We resist change so much that it often comes in the form of big life events that are difficult or impossible for us to ignore.  We humans actually believe that we have some control over the movement of the universe, that we can make things happen how and when we would like them to.  We have some influence, indeed.  After all we are all co-creators of this world.  In reality we are waking up to a new possibility each day, one where the best tool in your bag is curiosity.  

In order to live a life that has a bit less struggle and a lot more snuggle :)  (I sometimes just like to rhyme) you are going to first come to the understanding that you don't need to know everything.  You can trust and have faith that things are happening for a reason and to be open to understanding later.  You can also recognize that as time passes your information will change.  What you know to be the case now will not necessarily stay the same in the future.  Each day brings with it surprises.  Planning is important and valuable, being attached to the plan is a hinderance when plans change (note that it isn't "if" plans change).  Everything is in motion.  Nothing is the way it was yesterday, or two minutes ago for that's sake.  Our desire and efforts to keep things as is is futile on every level and on every layer.  When we are curious, this truth that the only constant is inconsistency or change, becomes less fear making and inspires more creativity and risk taking.  

 

This brings me back to whether you are accepting or resisting your life.  When you accept change as a way of life you live a life with so much less fear.  You become curious about what the change that is presenting itself means.  This doesn't mean that you aren't sometimes afraid, resistant or unhappily surprised.  It just means that you are able to let go of these old programmed responses quickly and come to a place where you begin to see that there is more to change than shock.  There is a depth of acceptance that resistance simply cannot appreciate.  Acceptance is where growth begins.  Growth can only happen when you have an understanding that there is more than what is and curiosity is the gift of staying open to all of the information the situation you are in has to offer you.  You are like a sponge from the day you are conceived.  You soak up information and choose how to use it throughout your life.  As you age you begin to either continue to absorb or dry up.  Imagine absorbing throughout, being as curious, as accepting as a baby is.  How would you see the world differently if you believed it was a never-ending all-knowing school?  How would your life change?

xo

a

2013-05-24 20.23.20

Newbie

Hi there, I am always learning something.  There is something in my life that I am just beginning, have been doing a while and then there are the things I am an expert at.  As a coach I am working with people at various stages in their lives.  Some have never been asked the questions I ask, given the challenges I give or had to do the work I assign. So they are basically novices in the process that I take them through.  If I am not also where they are in some way I wouldn't be able to relate to them enough to help them move forward.  It is imperative that I know what if feels like to need help, to stumble, to get back up and continue on.  Life isn't about coasting, not much is learned on the downhill.  

I understand that a lot of grown-ups like things that are familiar to them and strive for a life where that is all that surrounds them.  They want a schedule, they want predictability, they want to be viewed as skilled.  Being new at something does not make you look cool.  You will stumble, you may fail at first and you most certainly won't be the expert or go to person if you are trying something new.  You may need to ask for help also, which can be difficult for many grown-up egos.  You may need to work really hard (compared to not having to work that hard at the things you have been doing for 20+ years) and you may not pick it up as quickly as you would like to or think you should.  

Learning something new is like becoming a child again.  It can be exciting, stimulating, brain boosting, and fun, if you let it be.  You build new connections neurologically, you learn about yourself emotionally and psychologically and you learn something new in general.  You also, as a by-product, become more empathetic to those who are not experts in the areas you are.  You can relate to someone not picking something up quickly where otherwise you might just be impatient with them.  You see yourself in others that are not where you are.  Your compassion grows (or is born).  Learning something new pushes you to be more of all of you… it reminds you of who you were, are and can be.  

Being a novice is a fantastically humbling experience that I enjoy helping my clients relive.  Being somewhere new gives you perspective you cannot get with the familiar.  Challenge yourself, do something out of your comfort zone.  This is where the great stuff is.  You miss out on so much of life when you keep yourself shielded from being uncool, clueless and brand new.  Life is meant to be messy and sloppy and colorful.  Life is meant to challenge and change you.  There are so many things to do, so many things to try, so much life to be lived.  Try something new each day, week, month or year… you pick.  Try something that challenges your expertise and your comfort.  See how your life changes and becomes richer with these experiences and see how much closer you get to yourself as well.

xo

a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.  

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Patience.

Reiki.

Karma.

Familiarity.

Destiny & Love Cards.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Give yourself room to not be great.  I am not saying you want to imagine that you will suck, but I think it is important to go into whatever endeavor with curiosity and wonder as opposed to knowing that you will do fine.  The attachment to a particular way a journey should be can be the barrier between where we are and where we want to be.  Success doesn't always come in the outfit we picked out.  Success sometimes resembles failure and devastation.  Success often takes the road that is steep and full of potholes.  Success isn't always the smoothest way to a destination.  Success is striving despite the potholes, the blockades and the criticism.

Success is a journey.  You have to be ready for success.  You have to persevere to reach what you have aimed for and perseverance to hold onto it once you are there.  With perseverance comes doing more than you desire in the moment.  It comes with not always getting the feedback that makes you smile and inspires you to continue.  When you want something, want to be great at something you have to begin.  Often you are going to look like a novice because you are.  Before you master anything you have to be a beginner.  

So embrace the bumps, the skids, the stumbles.  All of these things that seem like mistakes are actually the tools you will need once you reach your goal.  They will allow you to relate to others later in a show of support, they allow you to learn about yourself and how you handle adversity.  Think of these "problems" as weights that are getting your learning muscles strong, ready to endure.  Even the sky is too close to aim.

xo

a