Paradigm Shift

Howdy, Aloha, Good Morning, Moods, we all have them.  Some say Gemini's have a lot of them!  Ha.  Whatever.  The truth is feelings are information.  So how do we begin to get the information that we are being given.  Feelings aren't exactly what they seem to be.  It is like looking at a painting close up.  You have to get some distance in order to really take it all in.  Perspective.  Feelings are also a code to which we have the incorrect key more often than not.  The key we have is the paradigm of victim.

The victim paradigm looks like this:

Things happen to you.

You have no say over how you feel.

People owe you.

"Should" is a word that exists

Right and Wrong are used regularly

You wonder 'why me'

You have unspoken expectations or you expect others to know what you want and to do it

You believe your happiness is the responsibility of someone else

You don't do your own work

You 'don't know what to do' on a regular basis or you say it regularly

You believe others have more control or know better than you

When you live in this paradigm you expect the government to fix the economy.  You expect others to not cut you off when driving and you feel angry when they do.  You believe that your perfect mate is out there waiting and all you have to do is look pretty (or not) and they will show up and your life will make sense.  You believe that God created all things yet many of those things are wrong.  You look at what is and say it shouldn't happen.  You believe that if only x would do y everything would be ok.  You don't know why your life turned out how it did.  You throw your hands up and wonder 'why me???'  You get angry that someone didn't do something you never explicitly asked them  to do.  You believe that you deserve something from someone and that them not doing it means that they aren't right.

Do you know anyone who lives under this paradigm?  Do you?  Sometimes?

The paradigm of the person who sees feelings as a code to the secrets of the universe lives under the paradigm of the curious one.  The curious one looks at everything from the standpoint of "what am I experiencing this for, if anything.  When you are curious you are not judging.  You are asking, you are open, you are ready for what is.  You aren't trying to push things away and you aren't judging.

The curious one paradigm looks a little like this:

You are open

You want to know why but aren't attached to any answer

You do your work, you want to learn about you

You want to learn about others

You feel that things happen for a reason

You don't expect, you wonder

You know perspective is key

You see many sides because of perspective

You relate to others, you see yourself in their place

You see things as they are, from your perspective and you wonder how they would be if you weren't you

You ask questions

You take responsibility for your feelings

The 'Curious One' looks at the world from the place of awareness.  The CO is looking for the lessons of this existence.  We aren't here to condemn, blame, fall victim to or lament over life.  We are here to learn, love and grow.  Think about a baby.  What do they need?  Love, learning and growth.  That is really all we continue to need.  When you become that CO you begin to look at people as helpers.  They give you information about you.  You learn how you feel about things, what you want or don't want, like or don't like, need or don't need.  You get a chance to look at how you relate to the world through how others relate to you.  You also get a chance to see the world from other eyes when you are curious.  You ask questions, you listen to the answers and you believe that by changing your perspective most anything could make sense to you.  As the curious one, you do not deny, you accept.

How curious are you on a regular basis?  How can you bring some curiosity to your life?  Would you want to?



"Anything that annoys you is for teaching you patience.

Anyone who abandons you is for teaching you how to stand up on your own two feet.

Anything that angers you is for teaching you forgiveness and compassion.

Anything that has power over you is for teaching you how to take your power back.

Anything you hate is for teaching you unconditional love.

Anything you fear is for teaching you courage to overcome your fear.

Anything you can’t control is for teaching you how to let go and trust the Universe."

~Jackson Kiddard


Howdy! We have all felt stuck.  We have all felt like we weren't able to get out of wherever we are.  We have all annoyed our friends because our lack of action to move away from what is seemingly hurting us.  The bottom line is you will stay where you are until you are ready to leave.  Period.  Know this.  No one can make any choices for you and you cannot rush being ready to choose.  There are things that you are learning, valuable things that you will never forget… it is hard to have perspective when you feel that you are in the middle of hell.

Remember that how someone behaves towards you is an example of how they are treating themselves.  It is hard to remember to not take things personally when you are the one being treated one way or another… but we are all bringing to us what we need to learn from and that is the difficult reality that most would choose not to face.  The universe hears us and has a completely different definition of love and compassion than the ones we would like them to have.  The universe knows that love is giving you what you need to learn what you must in order to move forward.  The universe doesn't play favorites, it isn't biased.  It answers our soul's longing for growth and creates what we resonate.

Resonate.  Resonate.  Resonate.  This is my message for you today.  Imagine you are a guitar being strum.  What notes will you produce if you were being played?  What music does your heart make?  If you were being played in a music hall, who would come to fill up the seats and listen?  What type of crowd would line up around the block to hear one note from your symphony?  Would you have people who were crying and lamenting being drawn to you?  Would your audience be pensive or melancholy?  Would it be a crowd that was filled with angst and anger?  Or would you have a crowd that was so filled up with love and joy that you were lifted up by their presence as they are by yours?  Resonate.  Resonate.  Resonate…on purpose.  Because you do it anyway.  Make the music you want to hear.  That music you make changes the 'where you are' to the 'where you want to be'.

Have a great day!



The Gift of Feeling Blue

Hello!!! When you are feeling the most lost, the most downtrodden, the least confident is when you are the ripest, most ready for a growth spurt.  Sometimes you may feel like you aren't yourself, you have lost your way, you aren't happy, that there is something wrong.  Maybe you notice a disconnect between who you thought you were and who you are recognizing you are.  Maybe you feel like your aren't living your 'best life' (as Oprah would say).  Maybe you are just feeling blue with nothing to pinpoint the cause on.  It is during these times when you are beginning.  You are starting again.  You are about to be given a lot of information and your feeling so low is readying you to be able to receive.  It is hard to take things in when you are all filled up.

If (which I find hard to believe) or when this has happened for you what was your response.  So often we look towards food, drug (including alcohol or any other recreational indulgence) or outside stimulation to numb us to feeling.  This may be a temporary fix but it isn't sustainable and it blocks the information that will bring you to the next level of awareness that you (or at least your soul) is seeking.  When you numb yourself you don't allow yourself to feel how the blueness changes with the gifts you are receiving almost immediately upon feeling lost.

Let me explain… the feeling of being lost is in itself a gift.  It is a signal that change is coming.  That there was something that wasn't working.  This is awesome!  It is the signal that tells you that you aren't on track.  This is a great warning, there was danger ahead that you are now alerted to.  Numbing yourself doesn't allow you to avoid it.  When you feel lost for some time you begin to ask for help.  You actually reach out for someone to assist you.  You may ask for different perspective, you may ask for company, you may ask for some other form of support.  This is fantastic because we aren't islands.  We aren't put here to fend for ourselves.  We are here to help each other and in that way we help ourselves… and it goes the other direction as well.  It is one and the same.  When you are feeling like you are not where you need to be you move!  You change.  You GROW.  You make choices you wouldn't otherwise make.  You do things that you wouldn't have thought of if life didn't push you towards them.

Take a moment, if you are down, when you are down and thank the universe for the gift of change.  Then, keep your heart, eyes, ears and intuition open.  The answers, my friend, are blowing in the wind.  They are abundant, they are for you.  The universe gets really excited when you are ready to listen… so much so that the answers can be so loud as to be deafening, if you really listen.



You Want It You Got It

Hello there :) Are you afraid to get what you want?  Seriously?  Are you freaked out to actually see that what you want is possible?  If not then why aren't you asking for it without reservation?  If it isn't fear that is holding you back is it because you don't believe what you want exists?

Someone at some point wanted to fly.  They thought, I want to fly like those squirrels or those lizards that have winged arms.  I want to be able to jump off of a cliff and not die.  When they owned that dream the dream was then able to come to fruition.  Somewhere, someone wanted to talk to someone who couldn't hear…  someone wanted to dance that didn't have legs, someone wanted to read a book without having to carry the book with them and an e-reader was born.  It would seem, then, that what you dream can come true.  Not dreaming would seem to be a sure way to not get what you want.  Resisting a dream before you let it be born seems unproductive, in my opinion.

I always coach my clients to dream, just dream.  You like salt and tasting different salts, cool.  Wanna do that for a living?  You can.  You want to find a way to work bicoastally and work with people, ok, in what industry do you see yourself?  Until you throw it out there the universe cannot get going making it happen!  Everything is conspiring to support you!  Until you put yourself out there how do you know what you are capable of?  If you don't risk, if you don't jump you will never know what you are able to receive in return.  If you never try how will you ever fly?

Look, if your issue isn't fear (even if you think it isn't it probably is) and it isn't doubt maybe you just don't know (which is fear).  That is cool, no worries, you can not know for now.  Sit, be, and open yourself up to your dreams, without judgement, without filtering.  See what falls out of your heart.  You may find your destiny.  You may find yourself.



The Way

Howdy, I live my life doing what my intuition directs me to do.  I don't reject my knowing or concern myself with how what I need to do will get done.  So today I met up with a friend from long ago.  She was passing through-ish and we had an hour to catch up on 5 years of no real contact.  It was perfect and just what I needed after a long day.  I felt rejuvenated and connected after our meeting.  I knew that we saw each other at the right time for us both.  I also knew, when she told me that she was going to be in town for a brief moment, that we would meet up, that it would be helpful in the way of affirming our separate paths, and that I wouldn't have to plan too much because it would basically just happen.  I really enjoy not having to over-plan things that are outside of my classes or clients.  I so enjoy going with the energy or knowing that guides me on a regular basis.

We discussed what it feels like to be 'on the path' or another way of saying it, answering a calling.  The best way to describe it is if you are square dancing and everyone creates a bridge or whatever and lets you through.  There is no resistance, there is only encouragement to continue moving forward and to take your position.  Literally, the world opens up and allows you to walk through without much, if any, resistance.  When you accept your calling you have only to begin doing the work, whatever the work your calling requires, and life tastes sweeter, joy is a daily emotion and life becomes easy.  Some people are called to color hair, others are called to drive busses, and still others are meant to organize people's clutter.  The bottom line, there is something, or are somethings you are meant to do and the only thing that is stopping you is your acceptance of it.

When you do your work the work supports you.  There is no reason to concern yourself with how you will take care of yourself or loved ones regardless of what you may imagine in this moment.  Instead of seeing gloom and doom if you follow your dream, passion, calling, see glory, support, love, celebration, and abundance.  When you take care of yourself, everyone benefits, everyone.  We have, in the past, viewed focusing on oneself as being selfish.  I would like to contend that doing your own personal work is the most generous thing that can be done for humanity.  Living the life that serves your soul's intent is you lining up with the stars, the moon, and the entire universe (or divine oneness).

Have fun finding yourself,



Less Is More

Hello :) Over the years I have had to learn how to pull back.  Do less, say less, give less, in order to have the impact I desire.  I believe most of us have had the opportunity to be in a place where we have simply done too much.  Maybe it was advice to a friend, possibly unsolicited, definitely biased.  Maybe you gave your opinion on something that had nothing to do with you.  Maybe you became attached to the outcome of what your friend would do.  Either way, you may have learned (or maybe you haven't) that advice, though nice, cannot be received if it wasn't permitted.  Sometimes sitting back, letting things unfold as they may is the best way.

As a coach I have had to use my voice in various ways for all of the different personalities that I have worked with.  Some folks need a gentle approach where you sandwich critique, others need to be told straight, no chaser.  Either way you want to say whatever it is that you need to say in as few words as possible.  Too much is too much.  When you are being told you aren't doing well in an area how well do you hear, how hard are you listening?  Or do you become defensive and shut down a wee bit?  Well if any part of you shuts down or blocks out critique then imagine others doing the same when you tell them something you don't like or shine a light on an area that needs tending to.  Bottom line, pull back the reigns and let the situation breathe.  Say what you mean and let it go.  Be clear and concise instead of over communicating believing you are being nice.

Some of us have a family member a friend or acquaintance that may not be 'living up to his/her potential."  Says who?  Honestly, we all are falling short of our potential.  When you realize we are all coming from where we are, someone who seems to be not 'living up' to their potential may simply be a bit behind you in certain ways… that doesn't mean it is your duty to pull them along.  You don't give them everything they seem to be lacking.  How on earth will they figure out how to grow if they don't figure things out for themselves.  Giving in this situation is not what it seems… the giving needed here is that of love and space.  Giving others the space to figure their own life out is almost always more impact than if you lead someone around like a child, never trusting that they will learn the lessons life has in store for them.

When you are putting all of yourself into a situation, person, place and feel that frustration is what you get in return, you may be doing too much.  You may need to pull back and let things be.  It is amazing how things begin to balance out when you let them.  What wouldn't come to you now falls in your lap.  Someone who wouldn't listen is now asking for advice.  Overall you have more time to focus on why giving, speaking, doing is so important to you which may lead you to discover that you have been using these things as a tool to hide from yourself.  When you take it down a notch you see things in a different way, you are aware of how much you don't know and in what ways you too need growth.

"The universe knows how to organize itself without your help."  Marianne Williamson



What You See Is What You Can Be

Hello there!! How much time do you spend worrying about other people and what they do, don't do, think, don't think, should be doing or thinking or not be doing or thinking?  Basically, how much time do you spend distracting yourself from yourself? Not that looking at others and how they live their lives isn't important for various reasons.  After all it provides entertainment, self-reflection (it can) and distraction (which can be exactly what we need sometimes).  It is just that we can do it more than we realize and in turn stay disconnected from what is happening inside our own universe.  So how much time do you spend thinking about the lives of others while your life is left high & dry, swaying in the breeze?

What if you took that time directly after a critique of someone to see where can relate.  For example, when you think someone is being harsh or rude ask yourself why you would be harsh or rude.  Have you snapped at anyone ever?  Why?  What was happening in your world that led you to that behavior?  Would you want to do it again?  Will you?  Maybe you are feeling sensitive in this moment.  Maybe you are actually projecting because you don't feel good about yourself right now and anything anyone says may come off as harsh or rude if you are feeling deserving of that behavior.  Harsh and rude are subject to opinion after all… so maybe, maybe things aren't always exactly what you feel them to be in the moment of judgement.

When we look at someone else, their behavior & their actions, we are given the chance to see ourselves in that person without having to be that person.  There is always a 'reason' or 'story' that leads someone to the place they are.  When we give each person credit for their journey we give ourselves the same credit and permission to be where we are.  When we give ourselves permission and we begin to be present in our world we are able to create it how we would most desire.  No matter where you go, there you are.  We will never be able to get away from ourselves regardless of the effort put into looking at others.  If we see it in someone else then we embody it in ourselves.   Focus on the fact that what you can see is what you can be.

Happy Growing,