dreams

Dreams of a Child

Hello there, When I was younger I dreamt of things like children do.  I saw myself in the home of my dreams, with the love of my life, with the career that I wanted.  At no point, as a child, did I ever decide that I was asking for too much or believe that my dreams were too grandiose.  I wanted these things and I thought about them as if they would happen.  Life was exciting when I was a child (and luckily for me it still is) and part of that excitement was dreaming, the possibility.  As I grew up and learned the 'truth' about various things in life (money being scarce (ha!) and true love being rare) my dreams changed to fit what I now knew.  I stopped thinking about owning a home as a given, I changed what I wanted in a partner and I changed my mind about my career once or twice.

Still I grew older and things changed even more.  Though I am an optimistic person and tend to dream and desire more than many more "realistic" or "pessimistic" folks, I became discouraged in various ways that I never would have as a child.  I decided that relationships had to be 'work' and that jobs had to include parts that you possibly hated because you can't get everything, right?  You had to take the good with the bad, right?  Those were the 'Facts of Life' were they not?  I mean, everywhere I looked people were compromising their dreams to live a life that didn't quite fit, but did the job.  And for those who weren't compromising or settling, they were considered immature, needing to grow up.  "You can't always get what you want" after all.  We are trained to believe that settling is just growing up.

I question these ideas of grown-ups regularly.  Why wear an ill fitted life?  Why not hold out for your dreams?  Why not work hard to realize what you always wanted.  Why settle?

When you consciously choose your life you have to face the reality that some of what is currently happening in it may not work for you anymore.  Recently I have chosen not to settle in any aspect of my life.  From the time that this decision was made things fell away.  Loss happened.  I ended relationships and began new ones.  I approached work differently and still do on a daily basis.  At the same time, things began falling into my lap.  Struggle became joy, life became love.  Things weren't so 'hard.'  The biggest thing is being honest every day with how I am where I am because I choose to be, and, if I want my life to be different than it is I can choose differently.  I am remembering what I wanted as a child and not judging it as fantasy only.  It is a goal, the foundation for reality.  When you stop compromising your dreams you have to start living your life differently.  You are responsible for making your dreams a reality.

If you knew that you could have it all, would you work for it?  Would you open yourself to it?  What if that meant closing yourself off to what you are currently doing, who you are currently with, how you presently view the world?  What would you do to live the life of your dreams?

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."  ~Walt Disney

xo

a

Success!

Aloha! The rain is coming down on Maui on my last night here.  It is appropriate since I will be heading into the rain of the Pacific North West.  The cruel truth is that rain here is warm and tropical, in Seattle it is cold and brutal.  My trip has been a fantastic journey, travel and food and working out and meeting awesome people.  However, I am very excited to come home.  I miss my bed, my things, a closet, a room without spiders and geckos.  Though the gecko is a spiritual creature according to Hawaiian lore, I am ok with not sharing space as much as I do right now.  Tonight, I picked up the sheets (to check for creatures) then lifted my pillow only to find a baby gecko that wasn't in a very safe place.  I put him outside only to see another baby on the other side of the room.  It is like they are gremlins; multiplying with water after midnight.

I also miss my work.  I was in college when I decided that I wanted to become a rowing coach.  It was my sophomore year and I was participating in National Team Testing.  I was new to sports and barely called myself an athlete, but I was good and I knew that much.  I was also good at describing the rowing stroke to my teammates and I loved helping.  I, after all, was a peer counselor in High School and an RA in college.  At the time I decided to become a coach I had a rather socially challenged Head Coach that needed a lot of assisting.  I filled the role of translator when I could.  It was then that I realized coaching was an option.  I thought the thought and then put it away.  I still had to finish school.  After graduating and picking up a coaching job almost immediately I was enthralled by the Olympics.  It was 1996 and cycling was being shown quite a bit.  I knew that I needed to find another sport to do alongside rowing and cycling seemed to fit.  It looked like it was mentally and physically grueling (a requirement for me) and I liked the way it shaped the body (another requirement).  I also sent into the universe ad dream of being able to work out for a living at the same time I was helping others.  I thought I would have to become an Olympic athlete (and I worked on that) or be a professional athlete in order to do so.  Turns out I was wrong with the means by which but dead on with bringing my dream to fruition.  Working out for a living is doable and exciting and literally a dream come true.

Because I love what I do it is hard to pull myself away from it.  So taking vacation becomes a challenge.  I do need space away from the daily grind in order to gain some perspective, stay fresh and study up.  However, it is a joy to come back to what I absolutely love to do day in and day out.  The music, the people, the love.  I am lucky because I worked my ass off for years.  When I began this journey I made $5300 annually for my first collegiate coaching gig.  I got a raise the next year to $5700.  Loving what you do and doing what you love means you may have to wait for the financial reward, but it is worth it.  No amount of money would stop me from teaching/coaching and training.  I always ask myself this question:  If I were to win the lotto would I stop working.  The answer has never been 'no' when it comes to my work with motivation and health & well-being.  When you would do what you do for free you know you have struck it rich!  That is what I would call success.

What are your passions?  Are you living them?  Are you going after your dreams???  Why or why not?

xo

a

Dreaming My Dreams

Howdy, Do you remember your dreams?  What did you want to be when you were a child?  I wanted to be a journalist.  My best friend and I decided that when we were older (21 years old was 'older' to us at the age of 11) we would live together.  Our basement would be an ice rink and there wouldn't be stairs that led to it.  Instead there would be an ice slide from the bottom floor to the ice rink basement.  I can remember the conversation like it was yesterday and I still kind of want that ice rink basement idea. :)

Over the years I have had many dreams.  I have reached some (working out for a living) and let others go (School of Journalism at Columbia University).  I have noticed when I limited my dreams based on societal things and worked hard to allow my mind to wander into anything that would sound interesting to my soul.  I remember when I found out that Elmo was a black guy named Kevin Clash.  I was watching a talk show years ago where he was the guest.  It wasn't until that moment that I realized that I hadn't ever considered becoming a puppeteer because somewhere inside I had judged it as something black folks didn't do.  I had never seen someone black doing it and had completely counted it out as an option.  The funniest part was I am, in no way, stereotypical with how I live my life.  Still, no one is immune from those judgements about what is or is not possible.  We are surrounded by limiting factors every day.  After that moment, which was profound for me, I knew that I had some digging to do within myself.

Dreaming is so important.  Being limitless when you dream is the key ingredient to finding out what you really want to do.  Taking away the need to know how is the hardest part of dreaming.  We always want to make sense of something, so much so that when we dream we forget to just feel what you feel, think what you think and then see what shakes out.  So, I challenge you to dream.  Dream big.  Make a list of what you want to do, what you want to be, where you want to live, how you want to feel.  There are no limits, there is no right, there is no wrong, there is just you.  Before the phone existed someone wanted to talk to someone else who was far away.  Before hot air balloons someone wanted to float around in the sky in a basket.

You just never know where your dreams may take you…

xo

a

Go Forward, Move Ahead

Hello, What have you decided you can or cannot accomplish?  What or who do you use as your guide to move forward?  Are you looking back at what is for others or what can be for you?  What is the key, how do we create our reality?

Often when I ask someone about their health and fitness goals they will tell me that they want to lose weight and get toned.  That is the usual desire for most people.  I also hear that some feel that they are in a better place than the people that they know of the rest of the US.  People also say things akin to that about their job being ok and that they cannot expect to like all of it.  I hear people talk about their relationships being work and that you have to go through those hard times and stick with it.  People tend to take the worst situation or the most mediocre and compare their lives to it to feel good or accomplished.  I am asking you to take the highest ideal and look to that for guidance.

Why would you compare yourself to the majority of people who are very, very, very unhealthy?  Wouldn't it make sense to shoot for the moon and have an honest assessment of where you are in relation to where you want to go?  We are so often looking to not feel bad for neglecting ourselves that we look at those doing a worse job to say that we are better than they are.  Well, I have to say, it doesn't actually take much to be at a better spot than most Americans, health-wise.  That type of comparison doesn't actually get you somewhere new either.  You end up just surpassing the bottom rung and having a difficult time elevating much higher.  Get over where you are, accept it without comparing it to someone who has yet to get to your level and look forward at where you want to go.  If you tried to drive to Florida by looking at where you were before and not the road that would take you there, where would you end up?

This is true for relationships as well.  Why would you want to have to effort your way through?  Is love an effort or is it simply abundant.  Maybe you don't believe it is possible for love to simply flow from one person to another and back without effort.  I believe we have all experienced that type of love somewhere in our worlds.  It may be a friend we have where the love is just overflowing.  It may be a family member that we adore with our entire being.  Wherever you have memory of that effortless love, bring it up, to the surface.  Feel it as a reminder so you know when it is and is not there.  If you want to compare, use your highest desire as a directional tool, not the lowest memory you can find.

Work, ahh, work.  We really do believe that we cannot possibly love all of our work… that there will be parts that we simply dislike and that just is the way it is.  If you say so.  I know that you can love what you do just like you can love the sunset or the sunrise.  You can enjoy the details, the big picture and your part in it completely.  We are so afraid of having high expectations that we don't get met… we create a world where we do not get what we want and then we wonder why we don't get what we want.  It is amazing really.  If you believe that there isn't a possibility to love what you do 100% then you are correct.

First, dream.  Where do you want to go?  What is your big daring feeling for your future?  Second, feel the accomplishment of the dream.  What would it feel like to be where you want to be?  Third, dream some more.

xo

a

You Want It You Got It

Hello there :) Are you afraid to get what you want?  Seriously?  Are you freaked out to actually see that what you want is possible?  If not then why aren't you asking for it without reservation?  If it isn't fear that is holding you back is it because you don't believe what you want exists?

Someone at some point wanted to fly.  They thought, I want to fly like those squirrels or those lizards that have winged arms.  I want to be able to jump off of a cliff and not die.  When they owned that dream the dream was then able to come to fruition.  Somewhere, someone wanted to talk to someone who couldn't hear…  someone wanted to dance that didn't have legs, someone wanted to read a book without having to carry the book with them and an e-reader was born.  It would seem, then, that what you dream can come true.  Not dreaming would seem to be a sure way to not get what you want.  Resisting a dream before you let it be born seems unproductive, in my opinion.

I always coach my clients to dream, just dream.  You like salt and tasting different salts, cool.  Wanna do that for a living?  You can.  You want to find a way to work bicoastally and work with people, ok, in what industry do you see yourself?  Until you throw it out there the universe cannot get going making it happen!  Everything is conspiring to support you!  Until you put yourself out there how do you know what you are capable of?  If you don't risk, if you don't jump you will never know what you are able to receive in return.  If you never try how will you ever fly?

Look, if your issue isn't fear (even if you think it isn't it probably is) and it isn't doubt maybe you just don't know (which is fear).  That is cool, no worries, you can not know for now.  Sit, be, and open yourself up to your dreams, without judgement, without filtering.  See what falls out of your heart.  You may find your destiny.  You may find yourself.

xo

a

Move.

Hi there, When you show up things happen.  Generally, when you show up, the things you want to happen, happen.  I sometimes say that I want to win the lotto, followed by, I need to start playing.  The bottom line is, things rarely just fall in your lap, you have to bring opportunity to you by putting yourself in its way.  I know that I am lucky because I work my ass off.

We all have dreams.  We all have hopes.  We all want things to work out in our favor.  What exactly do we do to make our favor, favorable?  Too often I see people make excuses for not beginning something they would like to see finished.  Complaining about a present situation but doing very little to make that something a thing of the past.  Gone are the days of "I don't know where to begin."  After all, we have Google :)  You can literally type anything on a computer and there will be some answer somewhere that may not be the right one but it may get you thinking about possibilities you hadn't thought of before.  Even if you don't google your hopes and dreams you can most definitely ask people you know what they would do… or better yet, you can sit still with yourself and pay attention.

Then you have to act.  Nothing gets done without action.  Complaining, ignoring, denying, blaming and otherwise doing nothing will leave you complaining, ignoring, denying, blaming and otherwise doing nothing.  Even if you start in a direction that you aren't sure of, at least you are doing something.  So often people allow themselves to be paralyzed by the fear of not knowing what the outcome will be (like you can read the future, really), judging a choice to act as wrong/right or because they put the onus on someone else (or something else) to do something for them.  You are the one that can change your life.  No magic pill, no job, no person, no-thing can decide for you.  It is your responsibility to see after your self, tend to your dreams, encourage your hopes and own your decisions.  Your life is a gift, a magnificent experience that deserves more than complacency and fear.

I urge you to move your body, stimulate your mind, make some choices and go for it.  Seriously.  Even if that choice is being still, own it, know that you are the one deciding to be where you are until you decide to be somewhere else.

xo

a

Sleep To Dream

Hello there, I took a nap yesterday.  It was more like and event.  I scheduled it and was absolutely looking forward to it.  I made sure all of my ducks (dogs & cats) were in a row, errands run, playlists complete, clients squared away, and I put on bed time clothes, turned on the noise machine (to cancel out the world), put my darkening curtain down and passed the f#ck out.  It was glorious.

I was down for about 90 minutes when I woke up.  I looked at the time and knew that I still had another 3 or 4 hours to myself.  I planned it that way.  I hadn't been getting a lot of sleep this past week and it was wearing on me.  We all need sleep.  Our bodies get a chance to rebuild and reboot.  Because my work is so physical I risk not being able to do my work if I don't schedule 're-up' sleep sessions.  However, after waking I began to grow concerned.  That annoying, nagging voice began asking me if I really had the time to sleep more.  I am so used to going, going, going, that I was freaking out about literally stopping.  I told that voice to shut up and I fell asleep again.

After another 45 minutes or so I woke up and decided that I had things to do, which at this point was fine.  I felt stronger, rested and ready to go for my evening classes.  Taking time out for me, making the space I need for a nap, a book, time alone or with others, is oftentimes more beneficial than the work I think about finishing.  Though I am working on behalf of my dreams, I sometimes just want to dream and leave the work for later.  It is nice to do just shut off and sometimes your actual sleep dreams show you if the work you are doing is actually getting you closer to them.

Have you given yourself permission to do 'nothing' recently?  Ever?  How do you feel about naps?  Do you ever have trouble 'shutting your mind off' or are you able to flip a switch and go to the black hole in your mind?  I recommend passing out, reading, writing, listening to music, etc. with the only goal being to do that thing you have chosen to do.  Enjoy living in that place… tell the nagging bossy abusive voice to back off, and enjoy your life.

Sweet Dreams,

xo

a

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :) This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

New York City.

Being Friends With Ex's.

Planes.

Kate Hickl.

Sarah Shattuck.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Keep on keeping on.  Grow, Be, Do.  All that you are working towards now will come to fruition, just believe.

"Patience is waiting.  Not passively waiting.  That is laziness.  But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience."  ~Anon

What are you wanting to change in your world?  Where are you looking to go?  Set the idea fast in your mind.  See it.  Breathe it.  Believe it.  You must continue to work, to sweat, to act.  Hold onto the vision of your future, work hard in the present, and all that you dream will be yours.

"Patience and fortitude conquer all things."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

xo

a

All That We Want...

Howdy! I love challenging people to be GREAT, feel GREAT and do GREAT!  I mean, why the heck not???  If you shoot for the moon you may not hit it but you will be with the stars as opposed to shooting for a mountain and ending up on a hill.  If you can dream (which you can)  DREAM BIG!

"Plant the seed of desire in your mind, and it forms a nucleus with power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfillment."  ~ Robert Collier

What stops you from being GREAT?  What stops you from dreaming BIG ARSE DREAMS?  What are you afraid of?  Ask yourself this question, "what stops me from being GREAT?"  What is the deal???  Seriously.  The shackles we put on our mind are far more effective than any glass ceiling or form of discrimination that can be "inflicted upon us" from some outside source.  What do you STOP yourself from doing because of these shackles?

"Here's to the crazy ones.  The misfits.  The rebels.  The troublemakers.  The round heads in the square holes.  The ones who see things differently.  They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo.  You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them.  But the only thing you can't do is ignore them.  Because they change things.  They push the human race forward.  And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.  Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."  -Think Different Advertisement, Apple Computers

So think different, do what scares you, DREAM HUGE, I mean like super gigantic ginormous HUGE!!!

"The starting point of all achievement is desire.  Keep this constantly in mind.  Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat."  ~Napoleon Hill

Later!

xoxoxo

a

(originally published 4/15/12)

It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Aina

HiHo! Recently I had a dream that I was flying.  It was more like levitation than actual flying.  I lifted off of the ground after seeing other people do it.  It wasn't a dream that felt like I was asleep.  It was more like an experience and it felt amazing.  I was able to lift off once without much effort.  It was like a switch just flipped and I was able to push away from the earth.  The next time I tried it was harder.  I had begun to question my ability…

Isn't that funny?  I had already done it and yet I was afraid that it was a fluke and my doubt created the difficulty in realizing my ability to fly.  Have you ever  been in that situation before, questioning something you had already done?  I imagine so, otherwise we wouldn't have a saying called beginner's luck.  When we do something for the first time, there is no luck involved.  There is openness, lack of judgement, belief, possibility, and faith.  When we do it for the second time all of the previous ways of being are now strained a bit.  We begin to judge if we can repeat or actually do it if we failed the 1st time.  We aren't as open because we have a history and we are trying to do what we did instead of just doing it without pressure.  We lack faith because we have, in our past somewhere, failed to do something consistently.  Basically, we take away the things that make it possible and then decide that the only reason it happened was luck.  The first time is always the greatest because we create obstacles to repeating it.  It is no longer new and our curiosity turns to hope and expectation.  How can we hold onto the curiosity with each attempt?  How can we let go of the expectation so we can give rise to the exploration?

I believe that we have to work on how we think about EVERYTHING.  Paying close attention to the number of times we question, doubt, or simply refuse to entertain something as a possibility.  Being open isn't something that we automatically get back, there is effort involved.  When we were children, most of us were open to learning things without reservation.  We have had years and years of being told 'no' or 'you can't' or 'it won't work' by parents, friends, teachers, and the like. In turn we are where we are, with beginners luck as a truth and success as a 'hard to come by' experience.  We have a lot of unlearning to do before we are open to each moment being new again.  However, it is possible; it's possible quickly if you want it to be, and more importantly if you believe it to be.

So go on, believe that you can fly… you just might take off.

xo

a

Sweet Dreams

"All human beings are also dream beings.  Dreaming ties all mankind together."  ~Jack Kerouac Howdy!

I was recently asked to talk a bit about dreams.  One of my friends has been having recurring dreams and wanted to know what I thought about them.  I loved that she asked me to discuss it because I LOVE talking about dreams.

When I was a little girl I had a recurring dream/nightmare.  There was a monster that was built out of colored, translucent blocks.  I dreamt about this monster quite a bit and would talk with my mother about it.  I also had dreams (and sometimes still do) where I am walking along and the floor begins to open up, or rather, the strips of wood begin to fall away revealing an abyss.  I have to strategically walk along the parts of the floor that are left in order to not fall.  This is a dream that has morphed into stairs becoming too narrow to walk down safely and/or too steep.  I also have dreams that predict something (usually completely benign) or happy, fantastical dreams that are recurring.

One dream I have had over the years was about my ex-boyfriend, let's call him Doug.  Doug and I were college sweethearts, enemies and then post college sweethearts.  He was what I basically used as the standard for every relationship after we ended. Our relationship had been healthy: he did his thing, I did mine and then we had our shared life.  My relationship with him was the first time I knew I could be faithful.  Up until that point monogamy was just some idea that existed for others :)  He was the love of my young life at that point.

So after we finally called it dunzo for real I went on loving and losing and dreaming.  Yep, dreaming about a future that never existed and wouldn't.  Usually the dreams would come when I was in a relationship that wasn't going well.  After a while I began to see the dream as a death knoll for the relationship I was currently in.  I would sometimes have to be talked out of calling Doug after one of these dreams by a dear friend who gave me great advice.  She said,  "We always have one, the one that got away.  The one that affects you in a way that no one else will.  It is normal for you to long for those times, those feelings especially when you aren't feeling good things now."  (or something like that, you get the gist).  After he was married I really had to chill out on the desire to call and go over the dreams I had just had (usually we had fallen in love all over again and things were rosy and sunny, of course).

I know that my Doug dreams were information.  They gave me the feeling I wasn't getting in my waking world.  They helped me remember what it was like when I knew how I felt, instead of the feelings I was having in the current relationships where I was forcing feelings.  The dreams reminded me that I wasn't dead inside, which I would sometimes believe when I was in a relationship that wasn't passionate.  The dreams stirred in me a desire for things to change.  These dreams have always been gifts.

Dreams can be a place for growth and healing.  They can be a place where we work out something that we cannot in the waking/astral world.  Both places are reality, just different dimensions, but both are real.  The best thing about the astral or dream dimension is the rules.  There really aren't any!  You are able to fly, rewind, go into the future or the past, be different people (or simply you in different bodies), you can do anything.  Time doesn't exist the way it does here.  Things happen in an instant in the dream/astral world which is very different from the waking/material world.

Interpreting dreams is something that I don't feel is necessary, in other words, I don't read the books that say when you dream about birth someone is going to die, or when you dream about a crow someone will crap on your head.  I believe that you aren't going to actually recall enough of a dream to be able to interpret it clearly anyway.  I counsel people on going with their gut and their emotions when they wake.  How did the dream make you feel.  What were some of the first thoughts about your dream when you woke?  Recurring dreams however are different.  I believe there is something your subconscious/astral self is trying to get across to you.  It took me years to realize why I would dream about Doug.  Once I came to the aforementioned conclusion about those dreams I had an "a-ha" moment.  I think you will know what the recurring dreams are about when you are ready.  Truthfully, you may already know and probably do.  Be open to receiving the information you are seeking and it will come.

If you want some help remembering some of your dreams or working on getting better at manipulating things in the astral dimension there are a few great books out there.  One that I super is called, Dreaming Your Problems Away by Dr. Bruce Goldberg.

Until later, keep dreaming!  Please reply if you have more lucid dreams after reading this post :)

xo

a

"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky;  then I awoke.  Now I wonder:  Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"  ~Zhuangzi