belief

You Thought It, You Brought It or On Scarcity - Part II

Hello! Years ago when I worked for Rutgers University as the Assistant Women's Rowing Coach I had a roommate.  She was an Academic Athletic Advisor.  One of her sports was actually rowing which made it easy to get work done since we shared a living space as well as needed to consult at work.  Inga was getting over a pretty significant relationship when I met her and was far from recovered.  Living and working together made us fast friends and able to speak on highly personal matters quickly.  She told me about her ex on a daily basis.  Aubrey was mormon and had been disowned by her family in Utah when she fell in love with Inga.  They had driven out to NJ where Aubrey, realizing the gravity of having no family and that she wasn't ready for the commitment the relationship would need, left her to go home to Salt Lake and work on reconnecting with her family.  Inga had become basically despondent outside of work and felt utterly alone.  Aubrey was all she could think about.

We moved into a new place, after subletting for a short time in order to really get a handle on where we wanted to live, and one of the first things Inga noticed was the name of the appliances in the kitchen: Aubrey.  She cursed and mentioned something about it being just her luck.  I thought it was pretty interesting that the very person she wanted to work on forgetting wouldn't go away in her own mind and in her own kitchen.

A few months after we had settled in I began dating someone new.  I was pretty excited because I just knew that this was a significant relationship in my life.  Now, up until I met Inga I had actually never known anyone named Aubrey.  Shortly after meeting her I learned of her ex and that there were appliances by that name.  Then came my Aubrey.  We began dating and I kept it under wraps from Inga wondering how she would take having to hear and say that name once again.  Inga handled the news with a similar curse as the one after the appliance discovery and then got over it with grace.  After Aub and I ended our relationship I discovered the shampoo of the same name. :)  It is actually really good stuff that my sister uses regularly, FYI.

It is the case that what you focus on comes up in your life, period.  Have you ever seen a friend's new car only to now see that car everywhere?  Was it there before?  Are you now noticing it because it has been pointed out?  It may be a bit of both, but it most certainly takes attention to bring it into your world.  What if your focus was directed instead of haphazard?  What if you set an intention instead of allowed your mind to be molded by what we hear and see on TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, etc.?  What is it that you would like to see?  Where is your focus?  If you want to know what you believe and think about regularly, look at your life.  If you believe that there isn't enough of something or that we are all doomed, then doom is what you will see and inevitably create.  If you would like to see the abundance of love in the world, not only will you see it, you will be it as well.

We have the power to bring into existence what we love yet we continue to bring into the world what we fear.  We create scarcity by believing that there isn't enough.  We create lack of love by believing we are alone and disconnected.  We create hate by breeding it within.  In order to live in a loving, supportive, abundant place we have to believe, despite outward appearances, that this place already exists and see it no matter what.  We have to refuse to buy into what we outwardly 'see' and 'believe' to be true.  Change your mind and your reality changes.  Change your view to something new.

xo

a

Lie To Me

Howdy! Most of us have two lives.  Our public and our private life.  We show the world one thing and we keep to ourselves, and sometimes from ourselves, what is really happening.  We spend a lot of our lives, if not all, denying truths, ignoring feelings, and creating stories to maintain the status quo.  If you are unhappy in any way about your life you must remember that you are the only one responsible for where you are right now (and always).  The same goes for anyone who is happy for where they are right now.

Think.  Take a quiet moment to sit with yourself.  Let everything come in.  Try it.  Brace yourself, what you may feel and find could be difficult.  The thing is, the truth has been close to the surface for most of us.  We do a lot of things to take our minds off of it.  We overeat, we get into relationships that take all of our energy, we do drugs, we create drama, we blame others, we sabotage ourselves.  Mainly we refuse to take a long look at how we do things and why.  We don't question our motivations, our choices, our beliefs.  We go along trying to live as pain-free as possible.  If the truth hurts then what lies are keeping you comfy?

It isn't about judging yourself or putting yourself down.  It is about knowing what is actually going on for you so that you can make some other things happen, things you want to go on for yourself.  When you keep yourself in the dark about who you actually are you cannot get out from under your own shadow.  It is hard to be directed toward something when you don't actually know where you are starting from.

When you admit what you feel, when you get in touch with all that you think, and when you embrace all of who you are your life changes dramatically.  We must let go of what we want to be to become who we are first.  We must stop running away from ourselves; it is hurtful, it is denial, it is stunting.  By letting go of all of the ways in which we numb ourselves we allow life in.  We allow the possibility for our public life and private life to be in harmony.  We are able to walk the walk instead of talking the talk.

Much love on your journey.

xo

a

It's A Bird, It's A Plane, It's Aina

HiHo! Recently I had a dream that I was flying.  It was more like levitation than actual flying.  I lifted off of the ground after seeing other people do it.  It wasn't a dream that felt like I was asleep.  It was more like an experience and it felt amazing.  I was able to lift off once without much effort.  It was like a switch just flipped and I was able to push away from the earth.  The next time I tried it was harder.  I had begun to question my ability…

Isn't that funny?  I had already done it and yet I was afraid that it was a fluke and my doubt created the difficulty in realizing my ability to fly.  Have you ever  been in that situation before, questioning something you had already done?  I imagine so, otherwise we wouldn't have a saying called beginner's luck.  When we do something for the first time, there is no luck involved.  There is openness, lack of judgement, belief, possibility, and faith.  When we do it for the second time all of the previous ways of being are now strained a bit.  We begin to judge if we can repeat or actually do it if we failed the 1st time.  We aren't as open because we have a history and we are trying to do what we did instead of just doing it without pressure.  We lack faith because we have, in our past somewhere, failed to do something consistently.  Basically, we take away the things that make it possible and then decide that the only reason it happened was luck.  The first time is always the greatest because we create obstacles to repeating it.  It is no longer new and our curiosity turns to hope and expectation.  How can we hold onto the curiosity with each attempt?  How can we let go of the expectation so we can give rise to the exploration?

I believe that we have to work on how we think about EVERYTHING.  Paying close attention to the number of times we question, doubt, or simply refuse to entertain something as a possibility.  Being open isn't something that we automatically get back, there is effort involved.  When we were children, most of us were open to learning things without reservation.  We have had years and years of being told 'no' or 'you can't' or 'it won't work' by parents, friends, teachers, and the like. In turn we are where we are, with beginners luck as a truth and success as a 'hard to come by' experience.  We have a lot of unlearning to do before we are open to each moment being new again.  However, it is possible; it's possible quickly if you want it to be, and more importantly if you believe it to be.

So go on, believe that you can fly… you just might take off.

xo

a

Love What You Do, Whatever You Do

"The only limits are, as always, those of vision."  ~James Broughton So I have been discussing work with various peeps… and realized it is a topic that comes up time and time again.  Work, what you spend most of your day doing, deserves to be looked at carefully.  Any place that you put your time is worth paying attention to.

We are what we think, say, do etc…  If you give something your time you are giving a part of yourself.  If it isn't something you enjoy what the heck are you doing?  No end is good enough to lose yourself over.  We tend to look at things such as money, status, etc. when considering a "job" instead of considering how much of your life that "job" will be taking.  And take it will if you aren't being fed by it.  It is no wonder we sometimes look around at our lives and wonder why we are unhappy.  If you are not happy with how you spend your moments in the work that you do, that work will become your hell instead of an expression of your dreams.

When you love what you do everything changes in you.  Love has a place to take hold and blossom.  Finding that thing to do that you love isn't always easy.  Sometimes you have to try various things and leave various things when they don't work.  It is always ok to go toward what works and leave what does not.  Think about the alternative, staying in something that steadily and most certainly will asphyxiate your dreams.

Your life is limitless, go live without the fear that keeps you from pushing toward what you really want.

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise."  ~Robert Fritz

Good luck in realizing your dreams :)

xo

a