Go Forward, Move Ahead

Hello, What have you decided you can or cannot accomplish?  What or who do you use as your guide to move forward?  Are you looking back at what is for others or what can be for you?  What is the key, how do we create our reality?

Often when I ask someone about their health and fitness goals they will tell me that they want to lose weight and get toned.  That is the usual desire for most people.  I also hear that some feel that they are in a better place than the people that they know of the rest of the US.  People also say things akin to that about their job being ok and that they cannot expect to like all of it.  I hear people talk about their relationships being work and that you have to go through those hard times and stick with it.  People tend to take the worst situation or the most mediocre and compare their lives to it to feel good or accomplished.  I am asking you to take the highest ideal and look to that for guidance.

Why would you compare yourself to the majority of people who are very, very, very unhealthy?  Wouldn't it make sense to shoot for the moon and have an honest assessment of where you are in relation to where you want to go?  We are so often looking to not feel bad for neglecting ourselves that we look at those doing a worse job to say that we are better than they are.  Well, I have to say, it doesn't actually take much to be at a better spot than most Americans, health-wise.  That type of comparison doesn't actually get you somewhere new either.  You end up just surpassing the bottom rung and having a difficult time elevating much higher.  Get over where you are, accept it without comparing it to someone who has yet to get to your level and look forward at where you want to go.  If you tried to drive to Florida by looking at where you were before and not the road that would take you there, where would you end up?

This is true for relationships as well.  Why would you want to have to effort your way through?  Is love an effort or is it simply abundant.  Maybe you don't believe it is possible for love to simply flow from one person to another and back without effort.  I believe we have all experienced that type of love somewhere in our worlds.  It may be a friend we have where the love is just overflowing.  It may be a family member that we adore with our entire being.  Wherever you have memory of that effortless love, bring it up, to the surface.  Feel it as a reminder so you know when it is and is not there.  If you want to compare, use your highest desire as a directional tool, not the lowest memory you can find.

Work, ahh, work.  We really do believe that we cannot possibly love all of our work… that there will be parts that we simply dislike and that just is the way it is.  If you say so.  I know that you can love what you do just like you can love the sunset or the sunrise.  You can enjoy the details, the big picture and your part in it completely.  We are so afraid of having high expectations that we don't get met… we create a world where we do not get what we want and then we wonder why we don't get what we want.  It is amazing really.  If you believe that there isn't a possibility to love what you do 100% then you are correct.

First, dream.  Where do you want to go?  What is your big daring feeling for your future?  Second, feel the accomplishment of the dream.  What would it feel like to be where you want to be?  Third, dream some more.



Ideally You

Hello, When do you want to be who you want to be?  What is stopping you from being that person right now?  I always work with my clients to sketch out their ideal self.  Who do you see yourself as, ideally and why?  How does that person live their life; what do they eat, where do they live, what do they look like, who are their friends?  When you look at the person who you want to become as already existing (which is true) you can begin to see reaching that goal as doable instead of 'pie-in-the-sky' dreaming.

We often believe that our ideal isn't doable, though we almost always have planted firmly in our minds what we would ideally like and who we would ideally like to become.  Many times, we look at our ideals as goals that are not attainable.  We accept mediocrity and believe that no one, or at least very few, can ever reach the point where they are living their ideal life, being their ideal self… at least not all of the time.

What if this weren't true?  We get so caught up in the stories we tell ourselves, and others day in day out, that we believe them and see them as the only way.  We believe that there are places we cannot reach, ideals we cannot meet.  If we believed everything that we aren't doing now just isn't possible then nothing would ever change, there would be no advances in any area.  200 years ago many people wouldn't believe that computers would exist, or dreamed of a computer.  Many times we are looking around to see if someone is doing what we want to do are being who we want to become.  We look for someone to be an example for us.  We forget that we are someone and we can be our own example by projecting out our idea of how our ideal person lives.

Try seeing that person you want to be as your example, your guiding light.  If that person can do it, so can you.  Start telling yourself the story that you are already there.  Start choosing to live the life you would like to.  Do it today, do it now.