ownership

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome? This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Peace.

Space.

My Girlfriends.

HGTV.

Tattoos.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

When we are hurt we want to find someone who is to blame.  Someone must be at fault if we feel any negative emotion.  All emotion is necessary and none of it is actually negative, inherently… and no one is to blame for your pain.  When you own your decisions, your reasons, your excuses; when you own your life and your role in it you stop blaming others and you begin to experience pure joy.  No one owes you anything, believe it or not.  You are not a victim.  You are an all-powerful being that, at some point, will come into her power.  Take some steps today to come into yourself a little more.  Claim ownership.  Be in charge.  Stop finding a villain and start living.         

See love, feel love, be love.  See peace, feel peace, be peace.  See strength, feel strength, be strength.

xo

a

It's All You

"Simply put, you believe that things or people make you unhappy, but this is inaccurate.  You make yourself unhappy."  ~Wayne Dyer Howdy!

Personal responsibility.  This is one of the areas I tend to push others toward.  It is an area that isn't easy to stomach.  We spend our lives blaming others for basically everything.  Our mother, our father, our boss, our boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse.  We put the onus on everyone else before taking credit.  We do the ultimate blaming by putting things in the hands of whatever God or Goddess we believe in and basically counting ourselves out of what happens (good or bad).

What happens when you start to see things as your responsibility, your 'fault'?  When you see that you are the reason, the cause, the creator of your situation, good or bad.  Let's see… is there resistance?  Do you feel annoyed by that idea?  Are you aware of the areas you make other people 'take care' of you?  Maybe you use language like:  "you made me" or I wouldn't have if you had not blah blah blah.

We are built in so many forms with so much diversity of history.  I grew up in a household where we spoke our minds.  We were allowed to feel and express things.  I know many folks who grew up not being able to express their emotions.  If there was someone who was loud and sharing their feelings in a forceful way those who weren't used to that type of expression may react with fear, concern, worry, upset and someone who was used to that type of communication might react with understanding and a feeling of familiarity.  The person expressing themselves wouldn't be doing something different though those on the receiving end would be feeling different things about the exhibited behavior.  Is it possible that each person filters the same experience based on their own history.  Would that mean that nothing originates in the moment?  Most of our reactions to things have to do with what we know, believe, feel, have judgements around or preferences.  Is anyone to blame for how we take something if we decide to take it one way or another based on what we held on to from the past?  Who is responsible for how we are really?

Personal responsibility isn't just about feeling crappy when someone says something you don't like or feeling validated by something someone says.  It is about realizing that you are actually in charge of feeling how you would like to feel or dealing with what comes up when you are triggered.  One of my gifts is that I am a trigger.  I am a bringer of awareness and with that comes some gratitude and resentment.  Most of us have no desire to acknowledge that our ex actually didn't do anything wrong, even if they cheated, even if they broke up with us through text, even if they started dating someone right after the relationship was over.  We choose to take that behavior one way or another… and we most certainly choose to take it personally and make it about us.  That person didn't make you feel any one way or another.  What they did do was share an experience with you that allowed you to find out where there was work to be done.  When you feel triggered, angry, upset, hurt, blaming you are being given information.  You are getting a light shined on the areas where you stumble over loving unconditionally.  You are being shown the areas where you really are selfish.  When you believe things are about you, you are mistaken.  When you are left to take care of you, deal with you, own you, it can be pretty frustrating.  You may begin to look at how much you put on others and how much you let others put on you.  You might start to see the hilarity of guilt and the pain of many relationships that keep us from seeing ourselves honestly.  When you begin to own the fact that you are the reason, no one else, things change.  When you understand your power over your life, your world there is a freedom, a joy, that cannot be put into words.

Find your freedom, love your life, own your sh*t.

"Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves."  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

xo

a

"You must take personal responsibility.  You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.  That is something you have charge of."  ~Jim Rohn

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :) This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Beauty.

Naps.

Discipline.

Sweat.

Pushing Past Limits.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

We spend a lot of time making excuses for why we do not do what we know we need to in order to reach our goals, to take care of ourselves, to live an awesome life.  We allow ourselves to do less than our best because we feel it is too hard to always make the effort to do better.  We cheat ourselves when we turn a blind eye to our less than ideal behavior.  Pay attention and hold yourself accountable.  Own your choices fully so you can fully choose what is best for you.     

"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

"If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self."  ~Napoleon Hill

Have you made any excuses today?

xo

a

Lies & The Liars That Tell Them

"To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development.  To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's life.  It is no less than a denial of the soul."  ~Oscar Wilde Good Day!

Are you a liar?  Have you been honest every moment of your life?  Have you denied yourself love because of lies you have told?  I have lied, to others and to myself.  I have been caught in lies, gotten away with lies and squashed my light because I haven't forgiven myself for some of the lies I have told.  Because I know that I am a fantastic actor I keep myself in check.  I am aware of that liar part of me that enjoys showing up and I give her tasks that are harmless to others and helpful to me.  When you own who you are you become your greatest gift.

First and foremost when we judge we cut off knowledge; we distance ourselves from ourselves.  Second, when we judge we oppress; we put ourselves down and create a deeper hole to climb out of in order to see light.  When you lied  you had a reason.  It served you in the moment.  That part of you that is capable of lying, stretching the truth or bending reality is probably a very handy part of yourself.  Too often we run from what we are ashamed of and we lose the gift that experience has to give.  When you deny any one part of you, you deny all of you.  What you don't allow yourself to see about yourself becomes bigger until it gets the attention it needs.  You will find yourself faced with the parts of you that you try to ignore or reject either in others or by you expressing it yourself over an over again.  What your resist persists.

Owning your truth & your lies allows you to see patterns in your life a bit clearer.  It also allows you to have more compassion and to be more connected to others in general.  So many of us deny that we are capable of the very things we deem horrible, awful, terrible, sinful, shameful, etc. only to find ourselves in a situation where we are forced to go back on that judgement.  The universe gives you all you need to learn about love and acceptance which can sometimes be delivered with a punch.

Instead of looking back at some of your behavior and recoiling in horror, how about letting the judgement go.  See the action, delve into the reasoning you gave as to why you did what you did and see if that is true for you now.  Does that make sense to you now, do you want to do it again?  When you know what you can do, you can do it when you want to.  You become the master of you… you become free.

xo

a

Excuses

Why hello there! "Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you.  Never excuse yourself."  ~Henry Ward Beecher

How many times have you said any or all of the following:

I can't because I am tired.

I don't have any time.

I am too busy.

I am not thin enough.

I am not strong enough.

I don't have enough money.

I don't have enough friends.

I don't feel like it.

I can't.

That is impossible.

There isn't enough _______.

"I attribute my success to this:  I never gave or took an excuse.  ~Florence Nightingale

We make excuses for ourselves because it is more comfortable than risking, than coming out of our safe little jacked up cocoon and actually seeing what we are capable of.  We say that we are too busy, too tired, not skilled, not rich etc. when the real situation is we have all the tools we need to do whatever we want.  First, we have to stop making excuses.  We have to stop allowing ourselves to get out of something because we may have to work at it.  When you allow yourself to be responsible for what you do and what you decide not to do you realize just how truly capable you are.

We choose to live where it is comfortable, even if we are unhappy.  The unhappy place may be safer than pushing the edges of the box you've constructive to live in.

What can you choose to own right now?  What will you stop making excuses around?

It is easier than you think.  When you hear yourself giving a reason around your behavior simply stop and do what your highest self would do.  Period.  No excuses.

xo

a

"Pessimism is an excuse for not trying and a guarantee for personal failure."  Bill Clinton

ps, I LOVE music, as you must know and I LOVE Alanis Morissette.  Here are the lyrics to a fantastic and appropriately titled (for this post) song.

EXCUSES BY ALANIS MORISSETTE

Why no one will help me 

I am too dumb I am too smart 

They'll not understand me 

I am lonely 

They'll hate me 

And there is not enough time 

It's too hard to help me 

And god wants me to work 

No resting no lazy 

 

These excuses how they served me so well 

They've kept me safe 

They've kept me stuck 

They've kept me locked in my own cell 

 

I'm too far from home 

It takes far too much energy 

And I cannot afford to 

No one will ever see me 

 

These excuses how they served me so well 

They've kept me safe 

They've kept me stuck

They've kept me locked in my own cell 

 

These excuses how they're so familiar 

They've kept me blocked 

They've kept me small 

They've kept me safe inside my shell 

 

Bringing this into the light 

Shakes their foundation 

And it clears my sight 

Now my imagination 

Is the only thing that limits 

The bar and its rise to the heights 

 

No one can have it all see 

I have to they want me to 

And I can't let them down 

I'll never be happy 

 

These excuses how they served me so well 

They've kept me safe 

They’ve kept me stuck

They’ve kept me locked in my own cell 

 

These excuses how they're so familiar 

They've kept me blocked

They've kept me small 

They've kept me safe inside my shell