Howdy! Most of us have two lives. Our public and our private life. We show the world one thing and we keep to ourselves, and sometimes from ourselves, what is really happening. We spend a lot of our lives, if not all, denying truths, ignoring feelings, and creating stories to maintain the status quo. If you are unhappy in any way about your life you must remember that you are the only one responsible for where you are right now (and always). The same goes for anyone who is happy for where they are right now.
Think. Take a quiet moment to sit with yourself. Let everything come in. Try it. Brace yourself, what you may feel and find could be difficult. The thing is, the truth has been close to the surface for most of us. We do a lot of things to take our minds off of it. We overeat, we get into relationships that take all of our energy, we do drugs, we create drama, we blame others, we sabotage ourselves. Mainly we refuse to take a long look at how we do things and why. We don't question our motivations, our choices, our beliefs. We go along trying to live as pain-free as possible. If the truth hurts then what lies are keeping you comfy?
It isn't about judging yourself or putting yourself down. It is about knowing what is actually going on for you so that you can make some other things happen, things you want to go on for yourself. When you keep yourself in the dark about who you actually are you cannot get out from under your own shadow. It is hard to be directed toward something when you don't actually know where you are starting from.
When you admit what you feel, when you get in touch with all that you think, and when you embrace all of who you are your life changes dramatically. We must let go of what we want to be to become who we are first. We must stop running away from ourselves; it is hurtful, it is denial, it is stunting. By letting go of all of the ways in which we numb ourselves we allow life in. We allow the possibility for our public life and private life to be in harmony. We are able to walk the walk instead of talking the talk.
Much love on your journey.