reality

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome?   This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

FaceTime.

Baking Soda.

Successful Business.

Patience.

Surprises.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

We are so capable of reaching farther than what we know.  The only mistake that we make is waking up and believing that what happened yesterday has some bearing on today.  We don't realize we can create the world like it is a painting… choose different paints, pastels, pencils and paint a new view, a different perspective, a more loving world.  We don't realize we are creating the world by not creating the world.  We let it continue, we keep believing old stuff and we call it reality.  It is more like history and we are doomed to repeat it if we don't decide to do and see something different.  How hard is it to change?  Why?  What is so good about what happened in the past?  Comfort?  Safety.  Well, neither are true.  Try to wake up with a new idea of reality.  Tell me what begins to shift…

xo

a      

See love, feel love, be love.  See peace, feel peace, be peace.  See strength, feel strength, be strength.

xo

a

Got To Be Real

Howdy party people! I had a groovy Friday and completely failed to write, which is fine, but interesting because I kept thinking, "I am forgetting something important."  Ha!  So, you get TWO today!  :)  That is the way it goes sometimes.  Ya know.

I am basically a nightmare for anyone who doesn't want to be present, shown themselves, called out, held accountable, loved in a non-attached way and independent.  I absolutely reject co-dependence in favor of a healthy interdependence and friendship in all of my relationships.  You can't 'sleep' when you are my partner and for most that has proven difficult.  The same holds true, on a less intense level, for being my friend.  You are challenged to take care of yourself, show up and overall be honest, as honest as you can be.  I enjoy growth and challenge those around me to keep on sprouting.

Honesty is something I work hard at moment to moment, knowing what I feel, owning what I want, making my life what I desire it to be.  Most of us, however, lie to ourselves on just about every level.  Honesty about our feelings, desires, fears, dislikes, beliefs and abilities.  So many of us are doing what we think our ideal self would do at the cost of denying our present self.  It is awesome to see where you want to go, but you cannot get there if you don't admit to where you are in this very moment.  Now, we aren't all doing this dishonesty dance on purpose.  Many of us are clueless to the lies we tell ourselves and others.  Many times we lie to get what we think we want.

Take, for example, when you meet someone you like.  How do you lie to them?  How do you show only the parts that you believe would be appealing?  I know that it isn't conscious, always, and it most certainly is not malicious… but that doesn't mean that it is honest.  We tend to be shiny and bright to attract, which is normal, and only show the sides that need polishing when we are pretty sure of an attachment on both sides.  Our insecurity about being lovable comes out when we meet someone new.  When we put ourselves on a pedestal by showing only the glittery bits, we don't allow others to actually enjoy the parts that make you you.  The parts that are totally true too.  It ends up being difficult later on when you have to actually be all of who you are.  The truth is you are lovable, I am lovable, all the parts private and public are absolutely worth loving.

Do you feel lovable?  Do you feel that you are worth someone fitting you into their world and possibly teaming up to create one with you?  Have you asked yourself these questions?

When you look at your motivations for doing what you do, your excuses for not doing what you know how to do, and the questions about yourself and your life that have remained unanswered, you begin to get an honest view of yourself.  Facing the parts of you that you hide from others is a great place to start letting go of the dishonesty.  Looking at what you would never want anyone to see is a jumping off point for amazing growth and a deeper love for yourself.  When you embrace all of your bits everyone else can too.  That sounds like a plan to me, what about you?

xo

a

You Thought It, You Brought It or On Scarcity - Part II

Hello! Years ago when I worked for Rutgers University as the Assistant Women's Rowing Coach I had a roommate.  She was an Academic Athletic Advisor.  One of her sports was actually rowing which made it easy to get work done since we shared a living space as well as needed to consult at work.  Inga was getting over a pretty significant relationship when I met her and was far from recovered.  Living and working together made us fast friends and able to speak on highly personal matters quickly.  She told me about her ex on a daily basis.  Aubrey was mormon and had been disowned by her family in Utah when she fell in love with Inga.  They had driven out to NJ where Aubrey, realizing the gravity of having no family and that she wasn't ready for the commitment the relationship would need, left her to go home to Salt Lake and work on reconnecting with her family.  Inga had become basically despondent outside of work and felt utterly alone.  Aubrey was all she could think about.

We moved into a new place, after subletting for a short time in order to really get a handle on where we wanted to live, and one of the first things Inga noticed was the name of the appliances in the kitchen: Aubrey.  She cursed and mentioned something about it being just her luck.  I thought it was pretty interesting that the very person she wanted to work on forgetting wouldn't go away in her own mind and in her own kitchen.

A few months after we had settled in I began dating someone new.  I was pretty excited because I just knew that this was a significant relationship in my life.  Now, up until I met Inga I had actually never known anyone named Aubrey.  Shortly after meeting her I learned of her ex and that there were appliances by that name.  Then came my Aubrey.  We began dating and I kept it under wraps from Inga wondering how she would take having to hear and say that name once again.  Inga handled the news with a similar curse as the one after the appliance discovery and then got over it with grace.  After Aub and I ended our relationship I discovered the shampoo of the same name. :)  It is actually really good stuff that my sister uses regularly, FYI.

It is the case that what you focus on comes up in your life, period.  Have you ever seen a friend's new car only to now see that car everywhere?  Was it there before?  Are you now noticing it because it has been pointed out?  It may be a bit of both, but it most certainly takes attention to bring it into your world.  What if your focus was directed instead of haphazard?  What if you set an intention instead of allowed your mind to be molded by what we hear and see on TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, etc.?  What is it that you would like to see?  Where is your focus?  If you want to know what you believe and think about regularly, look at your life.  If you believe that there isn't enough of something or that we are all doomed, then doom is what you will see and inevitably create.  If you would like to see the abundance of love in the world, not only will you see it, you will be it as well.

We have the power to bring into existence what we love yet we continue to bring into the world what we fear.  We create scarcity by believing that there isn't enough.  We create lack of love by believing we are alone and disconnected.  We create hate by breeding it within.  In order to live in a loving, supportive, abundant place we have to believe, despite outward appearances, that this place already exists and see it no matter what.  We have to refuse to buy into what we outwardly 'see' and 'believe' to be true.  Change your mind and your reality changes.  Change your view to something new.

xo

a