Howdy party people! I had a groovy Friday and completely failed to write, which is fine, but interesting because I kept thinking, "I am forgetting something important." Ha! So, you get TWO today! :) That is the way it goes sometimes. Ya know.
I am basically a nightmare for anyone who doesn't want to be present, shown themselves, called out, held accountable, loved in a non-attached way and independent. I absolutely reject co-dependence in favor of a healthy interdependence and friendship in all of my relationships. You can't 'sleep' when you are my partner and for most that has proven difficult. The same holds true, on a less intense level, for being my friend. You are challenged to take care of yourself, show up and overall be honest, as honest as you can be. I enjoy growth and challenge those around me to keep on sprouting.
Honesty is something I work hard at moment to moment, knowing what I feel, owning what I want, making my life what I desire it to be. Most of us, however, lie to ourselves on just about every level. Honesty about our feelings, desires, fears, dislikes, beliefs and abilities. So many of us are doing what we think our ideal self would do at the cost of denying our present self. It is awesome to see where you want to go, but you cannot get there if you don't admit to where you are in this very moment. Now, we aren't all doing this dishonesty dance on purpose. Many of us are clueless to the lies we tell ourselves and others. Many times we lie to get what we think we want.
Take, for example, when you meet someone you like. How do you lie to them? How do you show only the parts that you believe would be appealing? I know that it isn't conscious, always, and it most certainly is not malicious… but that doesn't mean that it is honest. We tend to be shiny and bright to attract, which is normal, and only show the sides that need polishing when we are pretty sure of an attachment on both sides. Our insecurity about being lovable comes out when we meet someone new. When we put ourselves on a pedestal by showing only the glittery bits, we don't allow others to actually enjoy the parts that make you you. The parts that are totally true too. It ends up being difficult later on when you have to actually be all of who you are. The truth is you are lovable, I am lovable, all the parts private and public are absolutely worth loving.
Do you feel lovable? Do you feel that you are worth someone fitting you into their world and possibly teaming up to create one with you? Have you asked yourself these questions?
When you look at your motivations for doing what you do, your excuses for not doing what you know how to do, and the questions about yourself and your life that have remained unanswered, you begin to get an honest view of yourself. Facing the parts of you that you hide from others is a great place to start letting go of the dishonesty. Looking at what you would never want anyone to see is a jumping off point for amazing growth and a deeper love for yourself. When you embrace all of your bits everyone else can too. That sounds like a plan to me, what about you?