letting go

It Was Never Forever

Hi there! I was in a car accident a couple of days ago, and, from what I can tell my car was totaled. My first response was to acknowledge that it was totaled and then let it go. There was no sadness, no grieving. There was curiosity around the accident because there were magical events that led up to, created and sustained it until my car was towed away. If I hadn't been in the car with someone else I may not have believed how everything happened. The most important part for me, and possibly for you, is that I didn't have to grieve. It was a loss that had already occurred. It occurred on one iteration of this world or another, many times over. It was never something that was forever and it played out for many reasons, the first of which was as a letting go drill. There are other reasons that I needed to experience this accident and they are revealed in the order that works for my brain and heart and being to understand.


Letting go is something that most of us have had a hard time doing at one point or another in our lives. I know that I have been in several relationship where letting go of them was like cutting off an arm, or at least it seemed like I put as much effort into debating ending it as I would cutting off my arm. We become attached energetically to people, places and things and it is just as real as being attached physically to those things. Energy is real, it is what all things are and when we are bound by it it can sometimes take great effort to come undone. But letting go is one of the most important things we will learn on this plane of existence besides loving with and without expectation.

I have, for most of my life, been in training for mastery of letting go. It is one aspect of what I am here in this body, during this time, called to do. I have let go on purpose, I have had things ripped from me and I have learned to simply not get attached. It is a peaceful movement through the world honestly. Knowing that all things will go means you don't have to concern yourself with the outcome and you are left to enjoy the moments you are in, when you are in them. It is possible to go the direction of worry if it is what you are used to and what is most comfortable, but you can choose to take the information of knowing that all things transform into other things (or end, as we like to say) and use that to detach from the desire to hold onto something that is fleeting. Even an orgasm would be unwanted if it was never ending.

One of the things that makes life so valuable is that it has an expiration date. The big issue is that we foolishly cling onto a sinking ship and hope it will float because we want it to so badly. Very little is done with making each moment that we are gifted something valuable honor the value of the thing. We abuse our bodies, our spaces, our people. We put negative and dirty energy into the world and expect it to sustain us. We ignore our spiritual gifts and wonder why so many are spiritually devoid. Let go of forever and start enjoying, appreciating and honoring today. The next time you are in an accident or have something pulled away from you it may not have the impact it once did. You may start to see the grand design, the master plan and laugh at the way it all works. It is possible and attainable now.

xo a


Hiya, So you are going along and everything seems ok and then, WHAM, someone or something comes into your world and then everything changes.  You have feelings you've never experienced, you do things you never thought you would, you are spinning, spinning… and then you figure out some way around it, some way to either live it, leave it or make it normal.  It happens all of the time with love.  You fall in love, you go nutso feeling and doing things that you never had before, feeling like you are invincible and then, after some time it becomes your normal.  The funny thing is that we tend to forget that we don't know all of ourselves in the least.  It is a bit like goldfish memory (though that theory has been disproven, goldfish do remember things so those small tanks are torture), we actually think that we know how we would or wouldn't behave, even after surprising ourselves on a regular basis.  I mean really, at some point in your life you have done something you never thought you would and you have made it a part of your existence.

Throughout our day we talk to ourselves constantly.  There is almost always a dialogue that is going on in that head of yours.  Now, what are the voices saying?  Well, they comment on this or that and judge that and this and decide that they know.  That is one of the most important things those voices do for you, they tell you what is.  Honestly, the voices are working against you most of the time.  They cause a lot of confusion, drama, stress and fear.  They tend to tell you that something is one way or another and you tend to believe those voices.  Think about this seriously:  what have your voices told you and been right about; wrong about?  I would say that they are wrong most of the time because they like to operate on fear.  Even though the percentage of correct decisions/observations the voices make is low, we still consult those voices.  It is a partnership that doesn't seem sound.  Rarely are the voices ones of curiosity… rarely do we remind ourselves that anything could happen and after it does we might actually like it and want to continue experiencing what we once thought was unappealing, unsavory or beneath us.

What if the voices grew quieter or we didn't pay them attention or we reminded us of what was actually happening instead of what could?  What if you were open to the possibilities in life, you were aware that you didn't know what you would do in a situation you had never been in?  What if you decided right now, that you are in progress, you are in a place of discovery and will be the rest of your life?  What if you allowed yourself to be the growing and changing being that you are?  What if you helped the voices tell you what would allow you to be at ease most of the time and open otherwise?  You can, it is doable.  Now, even when you work on those voices serving you, surprises will still happen.  They won't shake your world the same way because you will be open to them, you will have known that anything can and will happen.  It isn't hard, in theory, to train those voices… it takes time, desire and unrelenting discipline.

You are going to expand.  You are going to incorporate more into your world than what is currently in it now.  You will change, you will grow.  Love will do it to you, life will do it to you, be open and enjoy. 

Growing, growing, growing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1A_uSEjTIQ - It's Oh So Quiet - Bjork :)



Give In & Let Go

Howdy there, Cry.  Let it out.  Feel, stretch, grow, learn, mourn, let go.  This is what is happening right now for many people.  Emotional and spiritual death and rebirth…  You are growing, you are changing, you are shedding what isn't serving you anymore and moving forward.  Something big, something wonderful, something new is waiting for you.  It truly is simple, this change, this new life you are creating, but it isn't without complications.  Letting go of what you know is hard, and sometimes painful.  Ultimately it is a blessing and you will be thankful, at some point.

One of the biggest hurdles to this progress is the fact that we are attached to what we have and how we are living now.  Regardless of our happiness around our lives, we know what our life is about.  We know our routines, our agendas, our friends, our significant other, our home, our pets our everything.  With this knowing comes comfort and a feeling of stability and security.  When something threatens that, even if it is in our best interest, we balk, resist, defend, freak out and hang on.  Sometimes things have to get truly devastating for us to take a different look, for us to let go.  Sometimes we have to be forced into the very change we have secretly prayed for during years and years of being in pain on deep levels.  Sometimes we don't recognize the gift of the change we are receiving as an answer to our prayers because we weren't aware that we were 1) praying and 2) discontent due to being asleep.  

Awareness is a big deal and not that common.  Most people are walking around asleep, going through the motions, unaware of their own feelings, motivations, reasons…so when this awakening happens it can be really painful and really profound.  Imagine thinking that everything was ok only to find out that you don't fit in your life anymore.  You are no longer where you thought you wanted to be… and you don't really know what you want anymore.  Imagine being in a foreign country where you don't speak the language and you have to find a way to get food and shelter.  Imagine how lonely you would feel.  How lost.  The challenge comes with letting go of what you knew to be true.  The challenges include not judging the fact that you have changed and that this change will affect all of your relationships; some will end, others will change and new ones will form.    

If you have found yourself here, in what seems to be an abyss, you are in the middle of an amazing growth spurt… an awakening to your self that is without judgment, that is no longer burdened with past hurts, that no longer hold on to what doesn't serve you.  You are opening up to love, true love, the love of your self that allows you to have true love for everyone else.  This is a breaking open not a breaking down. This is the shift and it is happening all around and will continue.  At some point embrace it,  It will happen whether you go kicking and screaming or gracefully acquiesce.