Howdy there, Cry. Let it out. Feel, stretch, grow, learn, mourn, let go. This is what is happening right now for many people. Emotional and spiritual death and rebirth… You are growing, you are changing, you are shedding what isn't serving you anymore and moving forward. Something big, something wonderful, something new is waiting for you. It truly is simple, this change, this new life you are creating, but it isn't without complications. Letting go of what you know is hard, and sometimes painful. Ultimately it is a blessing and you will be thankful, at some point.
One of the biggest hurdles to this progress is the fact that we are attached to what we have and how we are living now. Regardless of our happiness around our lives, we know what our life is about. We know our routines, our agendas, our friends, our significant other, our home, our pets our everything. With this knowing comes comfort and a feeling of stability and security. When something threatens that, even if it is in our best interest, we balk, resist, defend, freak out and hang on. Sometimes things have to get truly devastating for us to take a different look, for us to let go. Sometimes we have to be forced into the very change we have secretly prayed for during years and years of being in pain on deep levels. Sometimes we don't recognize the gift of the change we are receiving as an answer to our prayers because we weren't aware that we were 1) praying and 2) discontent due to being asleep.
Awareness is a big deal and not that common. Most people are walking around asleep, going through the motions, unaware of their own feelings, motivations, reasons…so when this awakening happens it can be really painful and really profound. Imagine thinking that everything was ok only to find out that you don't fit in your life anymore. You are no longer where you thought you wanted to be… and you don't really know what you want anymore. Imagine being in a foreign country where you don't speak the language and you have to find a way to get food and shelter. Imagine how lonely you would feel. How lost. The challenge comes with letting go of what you knew to be true. The challenges include not judging the fact that you have changed and that this change will affect all of your relationships; some will end, others will change and new ones will form.
If you have found yourself here, in what seems to be an abyss, you are in the middle of an amazing growth spurt… an awakening to your self that is without judgment, that is no longer burdened with past hurts, that no longer hold on to what doesn't serve you. You are opening up to love, true love, the love of your self that allows you to have true love for everyone else. This is a breaking open not a breaking down. This is the shift and it is happening all around and will continue. At some point embrace it, It will happen whether you go kicking and screaming or gracefully acquiesce.