Ideally You

Hello, When do you want to be who you want to be?  What is stopping you from being that person right now?  I always work with my clients to sketch out their ideal self.  Who do you see yourself as, ideally and why?  How does that person live their life; what do they eat, where do they live, what do they look like, who are their friends?  When you look at the person who you want to become as already existing (which is true) you can begin to see reaching that goal as doable instead of 'pie-in-the-sky' dreaming.

We often believe that our ideal isn't doable, though we almost always have planted firmly in our minds what we would ideally like and who we would ideally like to become.  Many times, we look at our ideals as goals that are not attainable.  We accept mediocrity and believe that no one, or at least very few, can ever reach the point where they are living their ideal life, being their ideal self… at least not all of the time.

What if this weren't true?  We get so caught up in the stories we tell ourselves, and others day in day out, that we believe them and see them as the only way.  We believe that there are places we cannot reach, ideals we cannot meet.  If we believed everything that we aren't doing now just isn't possible then nothing would ever change, there would be no advances in any area.  200 years ago many people wouldn't believe that computers would exist, or dreamed of a computer.  Many times we are looking around to see if someone is doing what we want to do are being who we want to become.  We look for someone to be an example for us.  We forget that we are someone and we can be our own example by projecting out our idea of how our ideal person lives.

Try seeing that person you want to be as your example, your guiding light.  If that person can do it, so can you.  Start telling yourself the story that you are already there.  Start choosing to live the life you would like to.  Do it today, do it now.




Hey! What drives you wild?  What gets you excited, nervous, a bit afraid?  When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach?  How often do you step outside of your comfort zone?  How often do you try something that isn't a sure thing?

When we do more than we have previously, we often resist.  We resist the possibility of failure.  We also resist the possibility of success more often than we know.  You know you are doing more than you have before because you get nervous, you may feel anxiety, you might not be able to think about much else until you have done "it"  whatever "it" is.  Whatever is in your mind as the thing you are afraid to do must be done.

Jump, dive, run towards the things that make you feel.  We have become comfortably numb and most of us are not aware of this.  We have learned how to navigate the world based on what we know, not where we want to go.  Do we even know what we want, where we want to go, how to get there?  A great place to start is by asking ourselves what we are afraid of.  Maybe it is rejection.  Maybe it is love.  Maybe it is being organized.  Maybe it is looking incompetent.  Whatever it is may just be what you need to wake up, feel again and move forward.  Safe isn't living.  Safe is false, death, failure.  Safe is nowhere for a living breathing thing.  Life, in and of itself, is a risk.  When we decided to incarnate we decided to be risky.  To resist the gift of excitement, nervousness or feelings of anxiety/anticipation is to decide to stay exactly where you are and miss out on where you could be.

Go on, feel the nervousness, get the butterflies and feel the freak-outedness.  No excuses, no regrets.



What Do You Want To Do?

"Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life."  ~Wayne Dyer What do you love to do?  What is the thing that, when you are doing it, brings a smile to your face?  When do you feel the most fulfilled?  Is this the work that you are doing in the world?  Why not?  So many of us feel that the work that we do to make money cannot necessarily be the work that makes us the happiest.  Where did this notion come from?  Who said we wouldn't be able to make a living doing what we loved?  Why have we kept this story going so strong as to make it the 'truth' for so many?

I don't believe anyone wants to be living a life where they are waiting for happiness.  When we wait for something to happen we miss all of the good stuff that is happening right now.  When we put off doing what we love, we put off love and I am not sure how that is ever something we want to do.  What if you told yourself a different story.  What if you told yourself that you didn't have to be starving to be an artist.  What if you told yourself that there aren't too many yoga instructors, photographers, doulas.  What if you didn't worry about the market being saturated with something that you too wanted to produce?  What if you didn't judge what you want to do before you even said it out loud.  What if you believed that there was and always will be enough room for each of us to do what we love and be supported in doing it.  How would that change things?  Who are they who make us believe these things?  Why do we go along and support so many ideas that oppress us?  It is like an animal going into a cage and closing the door behind him. What is the point of being locked into an idea that doesn't feel yummy?

We are afraid to leave the comfortable place of knowing what we are supposed to do.  What we are capable of has been decided by generations before us so we don't have to do the work to make it up as we go along.  When you take away the road map to the perfectly normal and expected life you take away your supposed safety net.  The funny thing is, though you may be living this normal life of obligation and responsibility there is nothing perfect about it.  You may struggle with motivating to do the work you have given up you joy to do.  You may live for the things that job can buy you, but still feel a bit empty.  You may be holding onto the idea that there will be a big pay-off in the end.  Yep, there will be and it might be death.  Just sayin'.  I don't mind breaking it to you, nothing is promised and no one is getting out of this whole life thing alive. Why would you ever think it was ok to live a life that isn't full of life?

The risk associated with doing what you love pales in comparison to the joy you get from doing what you love.  I understand that you may not want to walk into your job tomorrow and throw down you two-week resignation… but, if you know what you really want to do or have any idea what that is, then you are obligated to yourself to go toward that which is most healing and loving.  When you love yourself and share that with the world, the world is filled with that love.  Just as it is filled with the pain of so many people doing what they loathe.  Think about it.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.  Don't be trapped by dogma--which is living with the results of other people's thinking.  Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  They somehow already know what you truly want to become.  Everything else is secondary."  ~Steve Jobs



"You should exercise unrelenting discipline over your thought patterns.  Cultivate only productive attitudes… You are the product of everything you put into your body and mind."

~I Ching no. 27


"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller Happy Weekend! I am sitting in my living room watching a fantastic movie called 'Death of a Superhero' that is unbelievably fantastic. I will let you google and find out the details, but I highly recommend it. For anyone who will experience life or death the movie is a beautiful tribute to both. :) I found the movie after I sat down to write. I often don't know what I will write about until I sit down and am open to receiving inspiration from wherever it wants to come. Tonight it was in the form of this movie that ended up taking 100 minutes of my time (hence the late blog entry) and I am all the better for it.

Today the topic of death came up a few times in conversation. I honestly wish we spoke about death more. Death and sex: the two things that bookend life, yet we just don't want to discuss them. More on sex another time :) Back to life and death; I was thinking about how most of us are so caught up in being responsible and secure and so forth and so on that we refuse to live the life we want to. We want stability and security. The one thing I know for sure is the life is the thing that is the most insecure. We could go at any time! Seriously! Instead of encouraging each other to LIVE and celebrate this amazing gift and experience we put people in boxes and make them stare at screens all day to move things from here to there and there to here and give them two days to have fun, YAY! Really? Is this what we consider life… and if this is how our lives can be secure, is security something to strive for then? Security seems more like a way to stave off the fear we have of looking at the temporary state of all things.

Ok, ok, I can almost hear the questions about money and how does one support oneself??? "I hear you want us to "live" but how the heck will we do that if we are on the streets because we quit our jobs?!" I know, you "have" to work to make money to take care of the kids and the house and the dog and the cat and the blah and the blech." Let's go back to some other things we have 'talked' about, like the idea that you create your world. If you don't want to live a life that is all about "security" yet you would like to have all of the things you want to have (which by the way isn't about security at all, it is about having stuff so that you can use it while you are alive) then create that life! Seriously, get to work creating the life you actually want! Security won't matter when you are living your dream. Dreams are bigger and smarter than false senses of anything. True security comes when you embrace the fact that all things come and go, or rather, that there is no such thing as security.

"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security." ~John Allen Paulos

"Only the insecure strive for security." ~Wayne Dyer

Enjoy your moments! a