security

Sense of Safety

"Safety always comes from inside-not outside of-you." ~Dina Bachelor Evan Howdy,

We spend a lot of time figuring out ways to feel safe and secure.  We wear our seat belts, we read our exit row safety cards, we ask for people to make promises.  The truth is the only way to feel safe, to be safe, is to know that you are always ok.  You are always supported.  Knowing that, even when life isn't as you would desire it to be, you are exactly where you need to be, doing and experiencing exactly what you need to experience to move you to the next place, phase, level of your existence is where you may need to start shifting your viewpoint.  Your feeling of security and safety, when taken from the outside world, is always tentative.  When you find that security and safety from within it is untouchable.  You will be able to take on any sunny day or perfect storm feeling as ok as any other moment in your life.  Safety isn't something you find, it is something you remember, recognize and reignite.

Feeling a strong sense of being ok doesn't mean you feel like no harm will ever come to you.  On the contrary, you know that anything is possible in this human body and accept that no harm is coming to you right now.  If harm did show up you would deal with it then an.  Safety is being aware, conscious of the moment… knowing what you can control and knowing what you cannot, and accepting all of it.  Boundaries aren't only what you create between you and the world around you, it is also how you deal with your internal world.  How you manage your feelings, perceptions, emotions, expectations and thoughts.  When you set a boundary that only allows an understanding that you are whole and supported living the life you were meant to, life becomes quite a bit easier.  Shutting out fears around being safe will allow you to see how protected and cared for you actually are.  After all, most of the time you are taken care of, right?  You have been ok most of the time… when the thoughts we have don't support this fact we are slammed with anxiety, fear, dread.  When we forget that we are rarely in danger we live as if it were a constant threat.

When we recognize that safety comes from inside and that we can nurture it, just like we do love, joy grows, safety grows, we become much more giving to others.  Feeling safe gives us permission to be more of who we are, to heal the areas that we need healing, and it gives permission for others to do the same.  Finding that ability to create safety within ourselves means that you are no longer looking for someone or something (which will always change and let you down) to do it for you.  You aren't waiting on your White Knight to rescue you and protect you… instead you are your own savior, your own knight-in-shining armor (or sparkling amor for me).

One way to begin remembering that sense of self, safety, is to affirm it regularly.  Another step is understanding that we are not our bodies, we are so much more, and that more is always ok.

xo

a

Curiosity & Wonder vs Certainty

Howdy! Just a reminder: Take your vitamins! Seriously. Get rest (talking to myself and you) and think happy thoughts! I am writing this at the same time I am nodding off a bit… super sleepy I am so I will make it brief, I think. One never knows these things for sure. Which brings me to what is on my mind: certainty… similar to security… it is rather impossible to grasp anything for certain. Even this moment is fleeting. See, it is gone already, replaced by another and another and another. So what can we know for certain and is it important to know anything for certain? As JFK once said, "The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain."

When we grasp the idea of certainty being a false idea we find ourselves either absolutely terrified (because we have believed certainty actually makes us secure so the paradigm shift is rather dramatic) or we find great comfort in letting go. Certainty gives us a sense of security. We feel like we can "know" something for sure then we won't get hurt or be wrong. We spend a lot of time trying to do the "right" thing and often find out that we have tried seemingly in vain. When we let go of the idea that things are static and one can know what things are for sure we begin to accept them as they are, in the moment. Ultimately we begin to realize that we actually see things as we are and they change when we do.

I am sure you have changed your mind about something you were certain about. Think of one thing that you were sure about that now you are not closed off to or you see differently. I would say that when I was in my late teens I was certain I wouldn't run a marathon. I remember thinking people were nuts just running around for the heck of it. What were they running from? I ran, but it was for Crew and I became good at it and would even sometimes do it for "fun" but a marathon??? Right. Flash forward 5 years after graduating from College and there I was a marathoner. I was a serious runner. Logging 7 miles each day 6x/week for years. See. One can just never know and it is almost never the point anyway. So instead of being certain why not try curiosity or wonder? Changing your language around something changes your mind and has the power to open your world to the wonders that live all around and inside of you.

I've never run an ultra marathon and I wonder if I ever will. :)

xo a

Security

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." ~Helen Keller Happy Weekend! I am sitting in my living room watching a fantastic movie called 'Death of a Superhero' that is unbelievably fantastic. I will let you google and find out the details, but I highly recommend it. For anyone who will experience life or death the movie is a beautiful tribute to both. :) I found the movie after I sat down to write. I often don't know what I will write about until I sit down and am open to receiving inspiration from wherever it wants to come. Tonight it was in the form of this movie that ended up taking 100 minutes of my time (hence the late blog entry) and I am all the better for it.

Today the topic of death came up a few times in conversation. I honestly wish we spoke about death more. Death and sex: the two things that bookend life, yet we just don't want to discuss them. More on sex another time :) Back to life and death; I was thinking about how most of us are so caught up in being responsible and secure and so forth and so on that we refuse to live the life we want to. We want stability and security. The one thing I know for sure is the life is the thing that is the most insecure. We could go at any time! Seriously! Instead of encouraging each other to LIVE and celebrate this amazing gift and experience we put people in boxes and make them stare at screens all day to move things from here to there and there to here and give them two days to have fun, YAY! Really? Is this what we consider life… and if this is how our lives can be secure, is security something to strive for then? Security seems more like a way to stave off the fear we have of looking at the temporary state of all things.

Ok, ok, I can almost hear the questions about money and how does one support oneself??? "I hear you want us to "live" but how the heck will we do that if we are on the streets because we quit our jobs?!" I know, you "have" to work to make money to take care of the kids and the house and the dog and the cat and the blah and the blech." Let's go back to some other things we have 'talked' about, like the idea that you create your world. If you don't want to live a life that is all about "security" yet you would like to have all of the things you want to have (which by the way isn't about security at all, it is about having stuff so that you can use it while you are alive) then create that life! Seriously, get to work creating the life you actually want! Security won't matter when you are living your dream. Dreams are bigger and smarter than false senses of anything. True security comes when you embrace the fact that all things come and go, or rather, that there is no such thing as security.

"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security." ~John Allen Paulos

"Only the insecure strive for security." ~Wayne Dyer

Enjoy your moments! a