judgment

Keep On Moving

Howdy There! So the wheels may have come off during this holiday weekend.  You may have found yourself sitting in front of an empty pint container of ice cream or you may be eating more leftovers than you need to.  Studies show that you eat more in a group setting than when you are alone.  Soooo it is no wonder why we gorge ourselves during the holidays with all of the family and parties and groups of people munching away on food.  We often overdo it and then the guilt sets in.  We feel derailed from our normal workout/eating routine and we are faced with a big decision:  Stay off the tracks and off-road it for a while or get back on the rails and back to your life, your health, and your fitness.

One, two, or three days (or more) of crazy eating doesn't actually set you back, what sets you back is how you think about it.  Get over the fact that you are human, make decisions based on emotion and that you sometimes don't keep your goals at the forefront.  Get back to where you were, just do it, don't talk about it.  Move on and let the past go.  Sounds simple doesn't it?  It is.  We make things more complicated than necessary.  Usually the complication is the judgement.  Imagine your fitness goals without judgement.  Imagine your holiday feast and the next day's workout without judgement?  Imagine not letting your past dictate your future.  Imagine being absolutely supportive of the choices you make.  Imagine trusting yourself to do what is best for you.

When you trust, support and let go the ego doesn't have a lot of room to eat away at you.  You are able to make choices out of love instead of guilt.  You are able to let go of not doing something "right" and just doing what you would prefer.  When ego isn't in charge happiness has a way of surfacing and life has a way of falling into place.  So, have your cake (and mashed potatoes) and eat it too, then get on the next bike, or treadmill, or open road, or yoga mat and keep on keeping on.  You will be fine.

xo

a

Listen

Hello there, Pay attention to that voice, the one that isn't mean, the one that isn't abusive.  That abusive a-hole needs to be ignored, and now.  The voice that tells you to turn left instead of right, the voice that tells you to take a walk, to be still, to shut up.  That voice that is trying to get you to calm down and pay attention, most of the time (sometimes that voice will say, "RUN" and you should, knees to chest, if you get my drift).  The bottom line is, your intuition is calling and you would do well to answer the call.

When you know something right away (which is most of the time) and you talk yourself out of it… that is your 'knowing' at work.  What makes you ignore it?  Why do we second guess what we know to be true?  Much of the time we are not aware that we are ignoring our intuition.  Often we deny what we know because we don't like it.  At some point we have to let go of our idea of good and bad and see things as information.  When you judge something as one of two things you bring the other into existence.  That is, bad exists because we have deemed other things to be good.  Yep, it is our doing.  So when we know something, we usually talk ourselves into whatever we feel makes the most sense for the reality we have decided to accept, instead of purposefully create.  We have a concept of reality where there is good and bad, so everything gets filtered in that way… which means much of what is actually happening is absolutely ignored because we feel like it may not fit, or be good.  Take away the judgement and listen to the information.  Listen and feel for it.  You are being given information all of the time.

How would your world work if you acknowledged what that first gut instinct, feeling, motivation told you?  What would you learn about yourself if you paid attention to your knowing?  How would you live your life if you listened to YOU?  What would stay, what would go?  What is stopping you from listening to what you know to be true for you?  How do you begin to move toward being in sync with your voice?

The world is a miraculous, glorious place.  The world is inside of you.  You are amazing.  Remember this, each and everyday.  There is nothing you cannot accomplish when you accept that as fact.

xo

a

Take A Chill Pill

Hello there, We sometimes look at others and wonder why they do what they do.  We sometimes get impatient with others not figuring things out quickly enough.  We may judge other people and decide that they are doing something on purpose to piss us off.  We aren't always the most empathetic or compassionate of folks.  We are rarely forgiving or understanding immediately.  The conclusions that we come to when we aren't pleased with others borders irrational and can often times be considered unloving.  Why do you think that is the case?

When you find fault in other people, when you are impatient, judgmental and unforgiving you are in the process of a revealing or revelation.  It is only that what we have within us that we recognize outside of us.  You aren't actually able to put a name or a feeling to something that you don't encompass as well.  I know you may get this, intellectually, but how have you incorporated this into your world.

I have been there, probably today, complaining about someone not doing something as well as I would like them to.  Maybe it was while driving or at the grocery store.  Either way, I always, at some point, see myself where they are.  I can almost always go, quickly, back to a time when I was that guy.  The one stopping in the doorway of the grocery store, forgetting that other people need to come and go.  Maybe it was when I was younger and since then I have done the work to remember to move my ass out of the way and to be conscious of those around me.  However, that doesn't mean that I didn't do it in the past and that I cannot now understand why anyone would ever do that now.  We think because we have moved on from some behavior that others should be right in step with us.  Well, newsflash, everyone else feels the same to.

We are all on our own personal journeys, and within each journey we are all at different spots for different things.  Sometimes we meet others who are in line with our self growth in multiple areas.  When this happens we feel a connection, we feel that we are kindred.  When we meet others who may stumble over areas that we have figured out, or think we have figured out, we tend to be impatient, sometimes unfeeling.  Do we do this to ourselves as well?  Have you ever said anything negative to yourself when you repeat something you would prefer not to?  Do you speak to yourself like you should have known better?  When you see something in someone else that you judge as negative, you have already done the same to yourself.  Maybe it would do you and everyone else some good if you chilled out a bit.

Give yourself and others a break.  It is worth it.  Not everyone is where you are, nor do they need to be.  We are all growing at various rates, learning what we can and in need of support during it all.   That doesn't mean you don't hold yourself and others accountable.  You just don't need to break someone down to help build them up, in every case.  :)

Sending love,

xo

a

Holding Space

Hello, Have you ever encountered another person who is dealing with something that you have no idea how to handle?  Has a friend ever unloaded something and you either felt defensive, confused or judged them about?  Do you know how to hold space for someone?

When you allow someone to feel all of their feelings, without comment or critique about the situation they are experiencing you are holding space.  When you help them come closer to how they feel with questions that are open and non-judgmental, you are holding space.  When you no longer push your ideas of what is needed for someone else, you are holding space.

So often we insert ourselves into a situation someone close to us is having.  We want to talk about how we would do something, or what we think they should do or how they should respond.  We may, while trying to be their friend, actually shut down their process of learning what it is they really want/need.  When you hold space you give them the room to learn what it is they really want/feel/need.  You provide the energy and security to delve into the places we sometimes don't know how to on our own.  When you hold space you are giving that person the permission to follow his/her inner voice.  It is truly being supportive.

I have had my share of interactions where I have held space well and others where I have not.  It is a work in progress.  I love the feeling when I have let go of myself in a situation that doesn't belong to me anyway.  Learning about someone isn't about comparing or getting them to hear your thoughts on them.  Learning is about allowing them to share, speak, feel whatever it is they would like to.

Practice holding space for someone, whether they are 2 years old or 82 years old.  See how it feels to take yourself out of the situation and open up the space for them to express what they feel.  Try to ask questions that are more reiterations of what they said instead of leading questions.  Ask for clarity even when you believe you understand.  Be there, be open, be love, and what where it goes.

xo

a