Speak Up

Hey there, We spend a lot of time tip toeing around true stories that we are too afraid to tell. We run from our realities all of the time and wonder why our lives don't go the way we want them too. How long will it be before you will be forced to deal with what you actually want, need and feel? How long before you will have to have those difficult conversations and possibly get, in your life, the changes you actually desire? Well, several things depend on all of the above. The main thing is timing. Your soul has to be ready… not you, the one reading this, but the one that is taking it in.

We tell ourselves that if we want something that impact another (in our opinions, negatively) then we would prefer to save them the heartache and keep it to ourselves. We wouldn't want someone else to feel uncomfortable. We even go so far as to diminish our feelings so they don't seem so important and then actually facing them is no longer as necessary. We basically foreclose on ourselves so we don't have to own what is really going on. Well, our lack of truth-telling isn't so we can make everyone else comfortable. Our lack of directness isn't to be gentle with someone else. We are making ourselves comfortable and trying to be gentle with ourselves. We use the idea of others feelings as excuses for our behavior. Truly we don't know how voicing our feelings, needs will impact someone completely. Maybe they will initially be hurt but it doesn't end there. That interaction where they were given the truth for someone else may turn into an opportunity to grow in a way that would otherwise not happen without that nudge, that awakening, that push.

When you keep your true self and your true desires from others you are not helping them. You are hurting you. When you refrain from telling someone a preference because they might be offended, you are really just protecting yourself from the potential of a negative response. You are also making sure you don't get what you want. You have, basically, put yourself and your needs last. You are now running around protecting others from their own opportunities to live fully in this world, experiencing the ups and downs, the yes's and no's. The boundaries and the open sky. When you allow yourself to express your preferences, when you have those difficult conversations, you are allowing growth. You are also giving space for someone else to then own their feelings and tell you about it.

Of course, there comes a time when you can no longer stay in a place of inauthenticity. This is when you see no other way but to listen to your soul, your heart. You are compelled to be all of who you are. This often happens when you have smothered your truth to a near death situation. You don't have to get here to make changes, but if you don't make changes, you most certainly, in some lifetime, get there. Either way, all things happen for a reason and all things happen in their own time.

When you ask for what you need, say what you want, own how you feel, you discover support in ways you didn't know existed. Your life begins movement in the direction of your dreams. As John Mayer puts it, "Say what you need to say." Life is sometimes short, sometimes long, but it is always yours.