What's Good??? 1.15.13

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome?     

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Craigslist.

Being Open To Love From Everywhere!

Living Alone.

Sunshine.

My Friends.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Where are you in your journey to self?

How much time do you spend looking inward?  What questions do you ask yourself?  Do you know why you react, speak, do what you do?  I have been told, by many, that the idea of thinking about everything that comes out of their mouth just isn't appealing.  Until you realize you are in charge, you are the one directing, the idea of being purposeful will seem like a chore instead of a gift.  When you come into your power, your ability to change the very nature of the air around you and everyone else, you will walk through life giving your power over to others and wondering why things aren't going in your favor, or why things seem so difficult sometimes.  Your job isn't to stumble and bumble through the world expecting… your job is to create, create, create.  You do it whether you are purposeful or not, that's the thing.  You are doing it now.  Just by how you feel, what energy you send out.  This is how we create immediately, instantaneously.  We feel things into being.

So, pay attention to what you are doing, why, how and when.  Learn yourself.  Become your own master.  See how your world shifts when you take responsibility for the very thing you were given to take care of…

xo

a

Got Change?? 1.13.13

Howdy,

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."  ~Andre Gide

I am a creature of habit.  When I go to a restaurant that I have been to before, I order what I ordered, if I liked it.  I will continue to get that same dish each time I return.  I like to pick out my clothes the night before… mainly because it saves time in the morning.  When you get up at 5am or 6am most days saving time is a priority.  However, even when I am up later in the morning I feel discombobulated if I haven't gotten my workout bag packed for the days sweat sessions.  I am also a creature, as we all are, who repeats things in her life… sometimes it feels like groundhogs year… not day, but year.  Same relationships, same ridiculousness in the relationships, same feeling of "Calgon, take me away!"  Sometimes I feel like I am on a hamster wheel.

When I was younger I moved quite a bit, which certainly helped shake things up.  Though wherever you go there you are, moving can jostle everything in such a way that it is easier to start new routines when everything else is new.  At the same time, if you aren't prepared for the stress of starting over, in a way, you will cling to what is familiar when you go somewhere that isn't.  Then of course there is the fact that moving isn't at all what most of us need to do, or frankly can do, when we are having a hard time changing course.  There are many things that will get you and your old ways to move onward and upward.

The bottom line is we like to be comfortable, even when that comfort is misery.  We enjoy the known because is feels safe.  Or at least we tell ourselves that.  There is less efforting in the known.  Then there is the awareness… we have to be aware of the patterns of our behavior before we can change and do it differently.  So before you can change anything you have to recognize that change is necessary.  The most important thing to remember is that you are the constant in your life.  What is happening in it is because of YOU, no one else.  So, if you aren't satisfied with how things are going, do things a little different and see what comes.

"By changing nothing, nothing changes." ~Tony Robbins

Not everything needs switching up.  But there are those things that just are exhausting to continue repeating.  I am sure you know what I mean.  You are just tired of being in the same place over and over and over… but maybe the thought of being somewhere else is scary.  If you know you have fear around the change acknowledge what it is.  I like to play the 'what if' game and continue to ask and answer that question until I run out of reasons that make any sense as to what will happen when I do something different.  Most often you end up with nothing dramatic happening except you aren't repeating a pattern.

"Even if you stumble, you're still moving forward."  ~Anon

Another way to push toward change is to do something that makes you uncomfortable.  If you are trying to spend less time driving you are going to have to start taking the bus or walking.  Both are guaranteed to make you uncomfortable in some way, if you haven't been doing it.  You will have to change your wake up routine, your leaving the house routine, your what to carry routine… so many things shifting will end up like a domino.  You cannot expect that all of those changes won't affect everything else in your world.  Maybe you want to change the way you eat.  Cooking at home is a great way to do so, hiring someone to assist with nutrition and menu planning, starting a rotating dinner club could work too.

Whatever the change necessary you will have to sit in a place of unknown and a bit of discomfort.  Doing something new means being a novice at it.  Not knowing what to expect, not having any cellular or muscle memory.  Accept that you won't be an expert at the new behavior and go for it.  Change is amazing and necessary for growth.  So shake it up if you aren't where you want to be.  You may be surprised at how amazing it is when you let go of what you know and go toward what you want.

"All great changes are preceded by chaos."  ~Deepak Chopra

xo

a

Express Yourself 1.11.13

Hello Hello!

Saying what you want, meaning what you say, communicating directly is something that happens so rarely.  There are so many of us that are worried about being loved, lovable, liked, enjoyed, desired, that we safeguard what we do and in turn never show up.  We hover somewhere in the background hoping that someone, anyone, will see through the facade… at the same time being afraid that someone will see through the facade.  We bend to meet the will of others hoping that will put us in their favor.  The power that is given over is amazing.  The fact that one gives their power to another and the other does the same is so sad it funny and then sad all over again. Few are seeing the danger that comes with being other than your true self.  Harmony is lost when authenticity is sacrificed.  You are not able to shine when you tarnish your very integrity.

I was told today by a friend today that I should always be direct, that it is a sign of integrity.  It is how I am most of the time and I know that it freaks people out, I know others aren't always ok with my being direct.  But hell, some people aren't ok with my being black, smart, vegan (soooo many people freak the f*ck out about my desire to let animals live it boggles my heart, soul and mind), articulate, not-straight (I don't enjoy the word bi-sexual… I like more than two kinds of sex thank you very much and though I am happy, I am not gay all of the time and queer is queer to me), independent and so on and so forth.  So, why let someone being off put by my direct communication style motivate me to change it.  I will continue on my path and those who aren't traveling my way can find their own.  That is quite alright by me.

I also don't want to read someone's mind.  I don't want to be put in the position (and even if I am put in that position I will resign from it) where I have to figure out what someone really meant (unless they are my client, then that is a part of the deal).  Yet this is what we have been told is normal.  Well these days obesity is normal, does it mean we should all stop working out and head over to McDonald's or Wendy's and chow down regularly??  So I will continue to communicate clearly, directly and hopefully attract others who do the same, and, if I have my druthers, help those who have a hard time using their voice, learn to do so.

Think about your communication style… what is it?  How is it working out for you?  Do you feel like you can effectively communicate your inner world to others?  Do you feel like it is an honor to figure out how someone else is feeling, to read another's mind?

Keep on keeping on and being the best you that you know how to be!

xo

a

Let Love Rule!! 1.10.13

Aloha!!!

Love is abundant.  Really.  That doesn't always mean we feel it, embody it, share it or are aware of it.  It is like air.  Supporting us whether we acknowledge it or not.  Love doesn't judge or have feelings.  Love doesn't have a preference or a better probability in one situation or another.  Love just is.  The issue isn't that there is a lack of love, the issue is our ability to receive it.  We have many blocks to feeling it, living from within it and sharing it.

I always remark on how we have no problem sharing our frustrations, sharing our pain but are hesitant to share our joy, our happiness our love about things with others and we especially have fear around sharing our love towards others.  What gives?  Why do we hold back that which could possibly make the world the utopia that is possible?  Well, in my opinion, the answer is a lot longer than can be covered in a blog so I will touch on just a few reasons I feel we withhold our love and we feel very little coming in.

First, we withhold our love.  When pipes are backed up nothing can flow through them.  When you don't give something out you leave little room for anything to be given back.  Love is no different.  You need to stimulate energy, get the juices flowing, so to speak.  Withholding means you aren't allowing a natural exchange to happen.  Energy/Love gets stuck if you don't shake it up, give it out and take it in, like anything else.  It's like you become love constipated.

Second, we don't understand love because it is literally everywhere.  You know the saying 'can't see the forest for the trees?'  Well it is something like that.  Love is literally covering us, lifting each foot with each step, creating each breath, managing all biological processes, motivating all thoughts and urging all experiences to come into existence.  It's like those 3D photos you have to squint your eyes to see the actual picture.  We have become blind to love… we have to squint our eyes to see it.  Because we aren't looking with our 'right' eyes we think we have been abandoned by love.  So we lash out, we hate, we withhold, we hoard, we isolate, we destroy.

Third, we believe that there are limits.  We believe that there is a limited amount of air, space, time, desire, stuff and love.  We have a scarcity mindset.  We think that if we give it away there won't be any left for us.  It is like believing your heart has only so much love to give, like it was given a certain amount to give when you were born and if you deplete that you are just out, out of love.  We are love… it is what we are made of and it is what we are here to create.  There is no limit.  Our internal universe rivals any external one that we can find on the best telescopes.  Do you ever run out of things to complain about?  Do you ever run out of things that delight your senses?  Do you ever run out of ideas, good or bad?  Choices?  Experiences?  Basically things just keep going and going and going.  Where is the limit?  Where is the scarcity?  Even beyond this human existence we have been shown that things don't just end.  Energy is neither created nor destroyed correct?  So energy/love is infinite… much like everything else.  As above, so below.

Say you don't believe that love is abundant… maybe just start with you having some to give out… see what happens when you do.  Do you feel depleted or do you feel filled up with more love?  If you feel depleted you are probably giving out expectations and not love.  There is a big difference, one is creating the other is destroying.  Test out the theory of love being everything and more.  See how you feel after letting it flow… you just might be transformed.

xo

a

What's Good 1.8.13

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome?     

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

New Music.

Books.

New Connections.

Early Morning.

Amy Morgan.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

"We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us."  ~Francois Rabelais

What do you want?  In general and specifically.  Are there things that you want that you are judging?  Stop it.  Seriously.  Let yourself want what you want and quit being the thought police.  Maybe you won't go after some things because they don't resonate with your higher self, but there is much to learn from being aware of all of the levels of you and all of the desires from each level.  Wanting does not mean you are good or bad, it just is what it is.  Allow yourself to see what it is that you desire, allow those desires to be acknowledged and, if they truly are what you want, then allow yourself to go after them.  Often the acceptance of your desire is enough to satiate those that don't resonate with your ideal self.

If you weren't trying to be someone who would you be?  If you weren't worried about what someone else would say about your desires, what would those desires be?  When you take out the judgement of the desires you have, what are you left with?  Try it.

"Your feet will bring you to where your heart is."  ~Irish Proverb

xo

a

Moving On 1.7.13

Howdy,

We tend to go against what is in our best interest way too often… don't you think?  We choose what tastes good over what is good for us.  We choose to be unhappy with what we spend most of our time doing for the few hours to enjoy what that misery affords us financially.  We refuse to look at things that are unpleasant for fear they might change the way we do what we do right now, even though we could help stop the unpleasantness if we just looked, if we just paid attention.

Change requires a call to action.  You have to do something in order to change something.  As a whole we seem to be a pretty resistant bunch.  But, is it just fear of the unknown?  We know what we do day in and day and changing that might tear a hole in the fabric of the universe, right?  No, but that is how we react when we have to let go of something that isn't serving us anymore.  That thing that we are giving up, letting go it of can sometimes become the most traumatic thing ever, in our minds.  We are creatures of habit, and habits are hard to break.

A habit can be a relationship, a job, a behavior.  Habits are whatever we do consistently, a regular tendency… and doing something besides what we regularly do is a huge deal, even when we are no longer in need of the habit to bring something beneficial to us.  We will still do something that has negative results, even after we know that the results aren't beneficial.  Often we get comfort out of our habitual behaviors.  Comfort in routine, familiarity, the known.  The benefit is not being afraid of the effect of whatever it is that we are doing, whoever we are with, wherever we work.

I used to eat potato chips like my life depended on it.  In actuality my life, at least the quality of it, depended on me giving that up.  I LOVE potatoes and I used to eat them until I couldn't breath.  Some call it binging, for me it was comfort.  I could and would eat an entire bag and be just fine with all the fried greasy-ness that were potato chips.  There was a point where I realized they were my downfall, my gateway foo.  So, I stopped buying them.  I just was tired of feeling like I wasn't in charge.  I could no longer continue to eat that way knowing it wasn't helping me reach my personal health and well-being goals.  I cannot remember the last time I had them and feel like my life was changed in a lot of ways by letting that behavior (which was very, very old) go.  The best part is that I don't miss them, which is counter to what I would have imagined before letting them go.  I was ready to move on.

Of course, one of the secrets to moving past anything habitual is that you have to be ready, you have to want the change more than you fear the change.

When was the last time you looked at your life and pushed through what was routine to find out what was helpful?  You asked the hard questions and faced the answers.  When was the last time you let something go that had been a 'part' of you?  How were you motivated to do it and where are you in that process now.

Good luck in growing, changing, becoming… it  will happen whether you lead the change or not.  The universe doesn't support stagnation.

xo

a

My Normal 1.5.13

Howdy,

What do you think of normal?  How would you define it and where do your ideas of normality come from?  How often do you question them?  How do these ideas of normal shape your world and the world of those around you?  Do you find yourself limiting what you say, do or think in order to fit into what may be considered ok or normal.  How much of you are you actually being?

I have come up against ideas of normality most often as it pertained to my personal relationships. There was a time when I struggled with feeling understood around my desire to be independent.  I didn't want to cuddle and that was weird for a girl or someone in a relationships.  I expected others to take responsibility for themselves and not blame others… hmm, that isn't normal, most people find happiness in the 'other'.  I could sleep around and not get attached in any way.  That isn't normal, that is unhealthy, right?  Ha!  I love the saying, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.  If it works for you then do it.  To hell with what someone thinks about it.  I don't try to impress anyone with how I look or dress, never did.  I also don't feel like I need to compromise in order to keep various relationships afloat, unless I feel like I want to compromise.  I don't have a feeling of obligation in general.  I stay away from that with the same drive that I stay away from guilt... useless and destructive in most cases.  I own what I do because I am never a victim.  So that takes away the need for obligation and guilt… and puts me in the driver's seat.  I can now change what I don't want instead of having to deal with someone or something.

Me being me has drawn a lot of criticism over the years.  Whether it was from friends that I have broken up with or partners that have wanted different things from me than what I was willing to give.  I have been told what was or wasn't normal as some sort of arguing leverage on their parts.  Unfortunately, for them, that type of argument doesn't work for me.  I am not now, nor ever was, trying to be normal.  I am always just being myself.  My authentic self.  As I grow and mature, she, my self, changes a bit here and there, but I never stop being me in the moment.

As you look at your life, where do you feel you have stood your ground on being who you are?  Do you know who that is?  Have you checked in and asked yourself the questions necessary to be authentically you?  It is a full-time job, this being human thing.  It takes a lot of time and attention to detail.  It is well worth it after the initial shock of finding out who you really are, what you really want, and learning that there is no such thing as normal, as a blanket statement.  Normal is a perspective, in my opinion, and in my world pretending you are what you are not isn't normal.  Loving yourself, finding the divine in yourself, being all of you, well, that is normal to me.

When you are you, those who resonate will flock to you, and those who don't fit will move on.  I love my ability to remain me regardless of the nature of my relationship with someone.  I love being all of me, even when that means someone isn't happy about it.  I love feeling grounded and mature enough to know that trying to be normal gets me nowhere if that behavior isn't me being my authentic self.  It is so much easier to navigate the world when you aren't trying to fit into it.  Go on and be… whatever that may be.

xo

a

A Change Is Coming 1.3.13

“ There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before. ”

— Willa Cather

Howdy people,

It is time for change.  Change is what the new year is all about, right.  Somehow we all feel that the year changing from one to another means we get opportunities to do things differently.  Well, it is true.  We do have the opportunity to make changes in the New Year.  We also have the same opportunities day in and day out, it is just not as defined globally as the New Year is.  So, because everyone else, for the most part, is doing it why not you?

It is soooo easy to get up and do what you have been doing day in and day out for months and years.  We wake up at the same time, we plan our days the same way, we drink coffee (just say no) at the same place and we take the same routes to work.  In our relationships we have dances that we do, we have ways that we speak to one another (whether it works to the benefit of both or not), we have ways that we connect, we are creatures of routine and habit.  We are also desperately seeking change in so many ways.  The new year provides a starting point for many to usher in the change that they have wanted all year (or for many years) long.  So, we make lists, big lists, with lots of big changes.  Somewhere around March the list is forgotten, if it survived that long.  We think that making that list is enough and that somehow, doing what we have been doing day in and day out, our changes will be supported by magic.

We have to begin with the little things.  Change means getting out of our comfort zone.  Doing things that we don't do regularly.  It means it is going to take support and letting go.  It means you have to give something longer than two months before you decide it doesn't work.  It means you suck it up when you want to give it up.  It means that you won't feel the way you felt when you were doing what had been your habit.  It means doing things differently.

You want to lose weight but you still eat the way you have been eating the past year.  You want to get fit but you won't wake up earlier or take the lunch that belongs to you to get your workout in.  You want to tread lighter on the earth yet you won't look into ways to do that which you haven't done before.  You want to fall in love but you don't really like who you are.  You want to be more successful in your work but you hate your job.  You want your life to be different but you won't actually look at the details of what is or is not working.  You want better friendships but you won't let go of the ones that you are unhappy in.

Something has to give.

What's Good??? 1.1.13

Good morning! It is Tuesday, the first of 2013!!  :)  Gratitude breeds more gratitude… isn't that awesome?  What will your new year bring?

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

Goals.

Inspiration.

Direction.

Beginning.

Love.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

The excitement of the New Year is upon us, how will it motivate us towards growth, towards healing, towards our goals?  The best part of a new year is the hope of a new beginning, of starting over, continuing something amazing or letting something go.  What we all need to remember is that the effects of this awesome moment are often short lived.  We go back to work, to our regular life after the excitement of the holidays wears off.  We go back to our old ways of being.  It is what is comfortable, what we know.  How do you do something different.  You do it daily.  You remind yourself and commit to it now.  You take into consideration the time you won't want to continue and you make a plan to get over that hump.  You stay realistic.  You give yourself permission to want to quit and then you keep going.  When we get over the idea that we have to, in the moment, want to do something (that is good for us in the long run) in order to do it.  This is a false idea.  Wanting to do it is nice, a bonus.  Doing it is a necessity if your goals are important to you.  Wanting to do it makes whatever it is easier, indeed… but it isn't necessary, the wanting.  Your life is a decision, daily.  You decide to do everything, your life is your choice.  Where do you want it to go?  How do you want it to be lived?  Remember this everyday.  Every.  Single.  Day.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

xo

a      

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

My Juicer. My Vitamix. Etta running in circles. Sweat. My New Timbuk2 Computer, Backpack, Shoulder Bag situation.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I have heard people say things like, "you don't want their head to get too big" or "you don't want to spoil them." These statements are made in response to someone complimenting someone else's abilities, beauty, energy. The person that is being complimented can be of any age, the threat is still what it is: the possibility that someone would believe the great things being said about them and they would, in turn, become undesirable in some way due to the feelings of awesomeness that would ensue. Another aspect of that fear is that the person being complimented would become lazy, complacent, full of him or herself (whatever that means), cocky, arrogant, awful, and downright negative due to the idea that others thought that they were great and their belief of those opinions. Honestly, there is so much f*cked with this whole idea of not giving love because of the damage it would cause that it is a difficult task to figure out where to begin. So I guess I will start with the beginning.

We are love. We are creation. We are everything. You can't be any greater than that. Reminding someone of this isn't where damage is done. The damage is done when you try to make someone believe anything else than this. When you believe you need to not let someone know the love you see in them because you are an ass (which is why you are doing it), or, to be a little more gentle, because you think you are doing good by tempering someone else. When you feel the need to temper someone else remember that you are projecting your own baggage, your own feelings of self worth (or lack thereof) on them. When you decide someone is full of themselves maybe you need to fill your cup up a bit more to see if that is possible. People aren't assholes because they are full, they are assholes because they are empty.

Try this, give it out… love, that is. Give it freely in this new year. Let's see how many arrogant asses we make by being sweet, generous with our compliments, abundant with our praise. Let's see how many awful children become awful adults because they believe that they are wonderful. When you know your greatness you don't want to put others down; when you know you are awesome, really know you aren't trying to stand on others to raise yourself up. That isn't what feeling great looks like. Feeling great creates energy and joy and more greatness. See how your building someone up can actually create a world that is stronger, more vibrant, less painful inside and out.

So love freely, live fully and, if at all possible, stop being a dick.  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

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compliments_graphics_01

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Hot Chocolate. Vegan Marshmallows. Lentil Soup. Surprises (the good kind). Cold Filtered Water.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

On the eve of a big holiday there are a lot of things to do. You may be running around trying to find last minute gifts, heading into the office getting work done without interruption, writing blogs, taking classes, or chilling with your loved ones. Whatever you are doing you are choosing it, you are making it what it is on purpose whether you own that you are or not. You are in charge of all of it and the more you let that sink in and then spill out the healthier, happier and more stable you become overall.

So this is how you have a merrier xmas and life overall:

1. Stop blaming period. You are where you are because you put your ass there. You are feeling how you are feeling because you are choosing to see whatever it is in the way that makes you feel how you do. (Did you get that?) Each moment we breathe we choose what we see, what we do, how we feel and how we react. When you take FULL responsibility, the people in your life will be so grateful. Remind yourself that you are not a victim and the world will continue to treat you like the boss you are. 2. Begin owning who you are, really. Not the version of you that you would like to be the case, but the real deal. For example, I am not into sharing my food. Nope, I don't want family style sh*t, thanks. I don't care what that looks like to others because it pisses me off to share my food. :) So I don't. Done. When you can actually be all of you, you feel true freedom. It is amazing! 3. Do what you want! Seriously. If you don't want to go to a party, don't go. If you don't want to go to a job because you hate it, STOP GOING!!! Honestly, you will figure your shizznit out if you allow yourself to begin doing what you want. Life is an adventure, not something to be accomplished. Just live, love, and stay curious. 4. Recognize that you are a gift, you are precious. When you recognize your divinity and honor it the world improves. You make a difference by being your most favorite person. Love yourself first, fill yourself up… let that love then spill out, pour out, it will never run out when you continue to feed the source!

holidaycrystal
holidaycrystal

Merry Holly Happy Jolly!

xo a

What's Good???

Good Afternoon!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Oneness. Heat. Training. Lip Gloss. Being a Grown Up.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

I have learned, over the years, that life isn't about what will be. We can spend all day everyday wanting what hasn't happened and judging ourselves on the amount of time it is taking us to get to this imagined and imaginary place. When we do this slow torture method of living we end up suffering on every level we exist on. We are anxious, we are moody, we are insecure, we are angry, we feel victimized, we are confused, we feel like we aren't good enough and never will be. When we spend all of our time wanting to be somewhere or someone that we are not we cause an avalanche of sh*t to cascade down on and around us… literally an emotional, physical and energetic/spiritual sh*t storm.

I am all for getting better; hell, I have an entire business built on the premise that excellence is where we are all going. I know that it can be confusing for most people who desire change, growth, knowledge, peace and rightness. Most people who are on the path truly want to be at the end of their journey. They want to know how to get there quickly and without making any mistakes. They want to be on the right path, doing the right thing. People end up being so concerned about tomorrow that they struggle with knowing whether or not they are in the daylight or if the sun has set. We skip over the point to get to an idea of the point. We use our past against ourselves to scare us into doing better for our future. What we fail to see is that we had good reasons for being and doing what we were being in doing back in the day. Today isn't judging yesterday, you are.

Acceptance is the doorway to not only happiness but enlightenment. When you can accept that what has occurred had a purpose (whether or not you agree, understand or like that purpose is neither here nor there) you can begin to let go of the present being other than what it is. You begin to respect the now, not just live in it. Respecting the present moment is the deeper part of growing into your highest self. When you show reverence for the abundance of each moment you are better able to let go of any attachment to some planned out idea of some imaginary future you've concocted. The acceptance of your past, the allowing yourself to be fully who you have been brings you peace in this moment if you let it. Instead of trying to bully yourself into change by using what you have or haven't done before as motivation, ask yourself what kept you doing what you did to be where you are. Find out your motivations and your reasonings… you have them, and then accept them without judgment.

I have learned, over the years that life also isn't about what was. None of it matters if you don't put a ton of weight on it. It is how you see this moment you are in that carries all of the weight you feel. When you make the decision to be where you are supposed to be at all times and then accept that this is always the case, the sh*t storm clears up, the knowledge flows, your anxiety ends and you can begin each moment how you would like it, again, and again, and again and again.

moment
moment

xo a

What's Good???

Good Afternoon!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

No snow. Dreaming. Holiday Lights. Strength. Options.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

What are you doing to get what you want? What do you do everyday, without fail, to reach your goals? Everybody wishes for things, it is easy-ish to do for most. There are those whose lives have been so darkened that they have a hard time dreaming, but for the majority, wanting is a serious hobby. The issue is that most people don't do more than want. They want to have a better relationship with their families, to have a stronger and more fulfilling connection with their lover, to feel like they aren't always searching for happiness. People want people to be nice, to stop doing awful things, to treat one another with compassion. Wanting has taken over and most don't know how to get what they want at all.

We like or dislike, want or don't want, but there are no action buttons on our social media platforms. In order for the wanting to end the doing must begin. You will need to start giving yourself the things you expect, desire, want the world to give to you. You want your lover to be more communicative then be more communicative and hold space for them to be as well. You want your friends to be healthier, be healthier and your friends will change. You want to be successful in your chosen field, then you will have to believe that you can be, you cannot just want it; you don't sleep, party or procrastinate your way to success. You want something you have to go for it despite any and all resistance to the contrary (as long as you aren't forcing someone or something to bend to you desires).

Want if you want… it won't get you where you want to be. Decision making, risk taking, and awakening all bring you to results. You are going to be where you are until you take some steps to be somewhere else. You cannot look for magic to happen passively. Magic takes effort, magic is the result of work. When you are feeling stuck ask yourself, "what am I doing to get what I want?" Then get moving.

Trouble with wishing
Trouble with wishing

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Language. Puzzles. Living Alone. Energy Work. Black People.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Motivation is a great word. It is a word that describes WHY and at the same time is a bit meatier than just asking "why." In some way the word encompasses the depth of what makes us do what it is that we do. It describes what moves and stimulates us to action or thought or feeling. It is a word that tells the back story of a person's life choices, their behaviors… it gives a reason for something. It is a word that is important to use on a regular basis when we are having inner dialogue (which is just about constant for most people). Using this word regularly before doing anything is one of the best ways to move towards emotional health and integrity.

Asking yourself what your motivation is for your actions, reactions, feelings, judgments, ideas, thoughts, etc. is a powerful way to get to the root of who you are and whether or not you truly need (or want) to continue moving in the direction you are moving in. We spend so much time automatically responding to life that stopping to ask ourselves what the fuck we are doing and why is almost like speaking Klingon. We just don't. When you begin asking, clearly, you will also need to give the answer some deep and true consideration. Be honest, be real, you aren't speaking to a group of people who are going to applaud or boo you. You are talking to yourself; be real with yourself at least. Why are you calling your ex-boyfriend? What do you really want to get out of it? Why are you sending a text to a co-worker? What are you doing and why? What is your motivation?

More often than not most people don't like thinking about everything that they think about… funny huh? If you aren't thinking about what you are responsible for who will be? It is work in the beginning but it gets easier to see where you are living in integrity and where you are not. What motivates you to be who you are, live how you live, do what you do? It isn't about changing yourself, it is about knowing and owning yourself and your life. It is about waking up.

motivation3

motivation3

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Pushing Myself In Every Way. Lunch Dates with Awesome People. Cooking. Incense. Books.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

This is the week of Thanksgiving! For many this means a day off of work and family joy and/or drama. For me it means that I teach on the holiday (which I always request) and cook up some yummy food to share with lovely people or just by myself, depending on the year. It also means that I spend a lot of time thinking about gratitude, writing about gratitude and coaching around gratitude. It is a time where people are in the appreciation mood and, for that, I am grateful. So instead of writing about gratitude, which I do on a regular basis… I will list things that I appreciate and am thankful for:

My soul and its unrelenting quest to get sh*t done. My mother for birthing me, loving me with all of herself, teaching me everything she could and being fully human. My father for being unapologetically who he is, which was never that present, but he owned it. My cat Hobbes for being a tyrant, a friend and companion to Pumpkin, my other little kitty. Both are gone now. My desire for perfection with a lot of humor and discipline thrown in. I have known that I wasn't cut out for mediocrity for as long as I can remember and now, I understand that it because it is a way for people to give up before they reached their full potential (which takes a sh*t ton of work). My sister for reflecting me back to me and reminding me of my true gifts. She loves me and I love her. My ex's, of which there are many. They all are a part of my writing, my work. Thank you for being the challenges, blessings and loves that you were. My ability to stay in the moment. I am very present. My calling which is to wake people up to love. My Jackson Smackson cat. He is a big cat with an aural fixation (he bites). My Etta for coming into my life and changing how I am more consistently than any other thing ever has. My home, I love this place and look forward to being in it more and more as I improve on things here and there. My readers, without you I would be sending this to my 8 other emails. Thank you for being open and sharing a bit of yourselves by allowing me into your lives.

To create a life full of thanksgiving and love take whatever the feelings you get from appreciating your life and share those with the world. Remember you are the one that can change the world. You can start with refusing to allow your lower self to be in charge. You can live a life that is an inspiration to yourself. You can create the space for others to do the same.

dreaming_gratitude
dreaming_gratitude

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Maui. Tattoos. Vegan Treats. Tea. Being Single.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

You may find yourself going through some big shifts right now. It is that time for many of us where we begin to wake up, to see what has been hidden from our sight because we weren't seeing it within. When you start to get clean, to truly get real with yourself the world changes shape. When you start to recognize the patterns in your life as creations of your beliefs, your excuses, your choices, you can start to change them. Now is the time to begin to grow up, finally.

Adulthood chronologically is somewhere between 18 and 21 in our society. Emotionally it varies from person to person and truly is connected to our energetic intelligence/growth. When we are emotionally intelligent we are able to be energetically clear, or rather, have energetic integrity. Emotional intelligence at its core is understanding that you are only responsible for you and only you, no one is at fault or to blame for who you are and what you do. When you take full responsibility for yourself your energy doesn't push or pull unless you make it do so. When you grow up emotionally/energetically you aren't asking for saving or being a savior; you aren't playing the victim or being the bully; you aren't trying to get others to bend at your will just to satisfy your own desires… you aren't manipulating for reasons that simply benefit self. When you begin to own your ability to run your life with grace and with spiritual intelligence the world you live in begins to behave differently, not just look different.

The shift from bratty child, innocent victim, and ignorant passerby to grown ass adult who is an expert on themselves can be harrowing. It is a bumpy, scary, exhausting and wild ride. You may find yourself in situations you wouldn't have believed you could even be a part of let alone create. You will begin to have to face yourself and in that way you will see the world, more of it, and begin to heal all in the process… the world, after all is a reflection of our inner state (the inner state of all who share in this illusion, this dream we call home). Keep on moving forward, no matter how rough the road you are on seems. Keep on pushing your way through the brush of doubt, fear and shame. Keep on keeping on, the beginning is right around the corner.

Emotional-Intelligence-2
Emotional-Intelligence-2

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Ginger Candy. Gemma. A Clean Home. Electricity. Etta & Jackson.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

We spend a lot of time looking forward to this or that. We think about future conversations, lovers, jobs, homes, vacations, financial situations. When you look around it is hard to find anyone who is absolutely pleased with their "now." We spend our lives living for things that aren't here yet and it is making us miserable. If you were to ask someone to just be and then feel what that was like, they would have a hard time. Try it. Sit still and take in 60 seconds of now. What did it feel like? Were you able to do it? Did your mind jump to what you had to do next or to some past point in your life?

For those who know or follow my teaching/philosophy, you know that I am all about manifesting your world. To do so you have to see it before it is. You have to believe that it can be what you want… the difference is that dreamers dream, manifesters manifest. You live and feel as if your dreams are happening. When you manifest you spend more time in the moment, seeing the blessings, understanding the opportunities and appreciating what is. When you dreaming you, for the most part, are trying to get the hell out of wherever you are. So much is missed and you are left with the wanting… you are left with the lack.

There are a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving; that is plenty of time to see what gratitude brings us. See what happens with this experiment: Imagine that no one owes you anything. Husbands and wives, mothers and daughters, fathers and sons, brothers and sisters, etc. You are all doing what you are doing for someone else because you want to (so stop doing sh*t out of obligation) and everyone is doing for you because they want to. When you recognize that everyone is acting on desire and that they don't have to do anything, how does that make you feel? Are you feeling lucky? I hope so. You are. Now if you recognize that nothing you have is promised forever, no one in your world HAS to stay in it and everything can shift at a moment's notice (and will especially when taken for granted), how do you go on in the world? Gratitude is more than just a weekly exercise. It is a way of creating the life, sustaining the life, and being in the life you love.

attitudegratitude
attitudegratitude

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Love. Sex. Friends. Vision. Work.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

You are a powerful thing. You are an amazing creature. You are without limits, without stops. Whatever you decide will be. Look at your life, look at what you have put in place. Own all of it. See it as your doing, whether it is disease, love, wealth or poverty. When you own it you can control it. When you take responsibility you can decide how you will manage it. You are not a victim. You have the power to make something stay or go. Your life is yours to mold.

I have told you and others this many times and some of it may sink in and yet you are still struggling to believe it. I understand. It is really triggering for those who have serious illness to own being the reason for it. The idea alone, for some, is blasphemous. How dare I say that someone deserves AIDS or Cancer or brought it upon themselves. Well I want to stir something in you, so if that is you being pissed, it worked. You ask for all the shit and all the delicious to be in your life. Your thoughts, your actions your beliefs open up doors. Some doors are filled with love and light and others are filled with muck and yuck. I have opened many of both in my day and understand all too well how absolutely detailed and disciplined one must be in order to truly keep the crap at bay; not to mention what you must to to make the crap dissipate entirely. Just take this for the truth in this moment… you are the reason for your world looking, feeling, tasting, smelling and being what it is. Now, what will you do about it?

See, you need to get off of your ass. You need to stop looking for the other to direct you. You have to remember that each day is brand new with no blueprint that HAS to be followed. We choose each moment of each moment. Just because we where the same damn thing day after day doesn't mean our wardrobe is limited. It just means we are insane. I want to get you from crazy to coherent; from asleep to awake. It may or may not be jarring, freaky, disappointing (at first), empowering and daunting. It is, however, the only way we will finally realize our potential. You cannot expect someone else to be all YOU can be. You cannot expect the world to change when you create it the same way day in and day out. You cannot expect to be well when your thoughts are so sick. You will have to deal with this truth at some point… it may or may not be today, but the day will come. At least, in this moment, it is a choice… at some point you will have to deal with the reality of your power whether you are willing or kicking and screaming. We are infinite and divine and hardheaded as all get out. It makes us crazy and beautiful. It also holds us back. I want to see you leap forward, towards yourself, towards love.

infinitelove
infinitelove

xo a

More Is Possible

Hi there! I have been busy prepping for my book which will be finished sometime mid year 2014. I will be blogging a few times a week as I continue to make space to write the book. Writing along with my clients and teaching at Flywheel keep me plenty busy, but I am accepting new clients for a bit. I also have a workshop series coming. Stay tuned for details! Now, onto that good stuff.

When you are dreaming up something amazing do you see yourself with a limited amount of imagination? If you were to imagine a world would you make some people poor and others wealthy? Would you imagine a limited amount of food or just a portion of your people having access to necessities? When you create, does your ability to create run out, do you run out of imaginary grass or trees or people? Why then, when we are imagining a different way for things to be in this world, do we take things away from some to give to others. We have been duped with believing that someone has to be without, that there isn't enough to go around, that when someone has more than someone else they are not sharing properly. What if there was always more, always enough to go around. What if this world was as magical as the one we can create in our minds?

When you imagine that there isn't enough you are left to be pissed off by those who have more than you. You immediately are in a place where you are divided and against the "other." There are the "haves" and "have nots" which means that there will be conflict. Conflict leads to more conflict. Scarcity thinking leads to a false sense of the world and to conflict. It is hard to create more when you think things run out. When you come from the place that there isn't enough, then there isn't enough. What if the ones who have a "most of the wealth in the world" aren't the enemy? What if the enemy was how we looked at what was possible, our belief system? What if we are wrong about there not being enough for everyone? Try it, imagine abundance. What if the truth was abundance is what is real and the rest is just a lie?

How are things changed? How do we create a present and future that is different that anything that has come before? We imagine it. That is how we do anything different from what we have done before. You have to decide things are better, are more ideal. The more we buy into what has been the more stuck we get on repeating it. We feed what we don't want and don't expect it to grow, it is absurd. What you put energy into will be, at some point, the only thing that you can see. We know this intellectually, we have to put this truth to work in our favor. Start visioning a different world where we all have whatever the hell we want. Vision that no one has to give up something in order for someone else to have something too. Instead of believing that there isn't enough, imagine that there is more than enough for all of us. Isn't that more fun, a much more yummy dream to dream of?

fractalfractalfractal
fractalfractalfractal

xo a

What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!! How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day? This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back… put it out there! Let the world feel your appreciation! Let's make a difference.

This only takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer. So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself. Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well). What are you feeling gratitude around? Here are mine for this week:

Honesty. My Lululemon Peeps. Awesome Flight Deals. My Teammate Amy Morgan. New Ventures.

There are no right or wrong answers. It is about what you are grateful for. It is proven that doing this once a week makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights. You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

How are you limiting yourself? The truth is you have no real idea until you are given a bit of perspective. If you have judgments around various occupations, people, ideas, places, behaviors, etc, then you are limiting yourself. When you decide you could never do something you are saying that you could never do something… which is a limit, period. Have you ever said you would never do something only to do the exact same thing you described as horrible? Of course you have, hypocrisy is as common as people are. Bottom line, limits have a way of being torn down in either direction… towards the yummy and towards the crummy. Just as you are capable of doing what you least desire you are also capable of rising higher and higher. The trick is to stop thinking you are limited and choose which direction you wish to expand.

Anything is possible. Anything. You just have to decide you will create it. So why does that idea make most people uncomfortable or question its validity? It may have something to do with personal responsibility. Knowing that you can have it all means figuring out how to get it, deciding you really don't care about receiving it (if you opt out of doing the work) and not blaming others for not being where you want to be. When you recognize your power it can also leave you feeling like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Well, the weight of your world is on your shoulders and it always has been. You can decide whether the weight pushes you down or has wings and lifts you up. You have to take the possibility of all things that have, haven't or will be and do what you will with it. If you limit yourself you will find that happiness is fleeting, life is short and work is never ending.

Dream. Dream BIG! Imagine yourself in every situation you encounter and embrace the possibility of living in those different ways on purpose. Imagine being healthy for life. Imagine living on the moon. Imagine creating a new work week where we spend more time with family and friends and less time in a cubicle. See yourself doing what you love for as long as you live. Imagine having a magic wand and creating a life you have never seen before. Don't repeat what has been done, forge new territory with your dreams. See beyond what is to what will be. Stretch your mind, your heart and your eyes. Growth happens when you do more than you have done before. This is the secret to life, continue to create without looking backwards and repeating how it was done. Move forward instead of treading water. In a limitless universe there are no excuses, no reasons why something cannot be; in a limitless universe we have all we need, you & me.

pretty fractal
pretty fractal

xo a