My Normal 1.5.13


What do you think of normal?  How would you define it and where do your ideas of normality come from?  How often do you question them?  How do these ideas of normal shape your world and the world of those around you?  Do you find yourself limiting what you say, do or think in order to fit into what may be considered ok or normal.  How much of you are you actually being?

I have come up against ideas of normality most often as it pertained to my personal relationships. There was a time when I struggled with feeling understood around my desire to be independent.  I didn't want to cuddle and that was weird for a girl or someone in a relationships.  I expected others to take responsibility for themselves and not blame others… hmm, that isn't normal, most people find happiness in the 'other'.  I could sleep around and not get attached in any way.  That isn't normal, that is unhealthy, right?  Ha!  I love the saying, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.  If it works for you then do it.  To hell with what someone thinks about it.  I don't try to impress anyone with how I look or dress, never did.  I also don't feel like I need to compromise in order to keep various relationships afloat, unless I feel like I want to compromise.  I don't have a feeling of obligation in general.  I stay away from that with the same drive that I stay away from guilt... useless and destructive in most cases.  I own what I do because I am never a victim.  So that takes away the need for obligation and guilt… and puts me in the driver's seat.  I can now change what I don't want instead of having to deal with someone or something.

Me being me has drawn a lot of criticism over the years.  Whether it was from friends that I have broken up with or partners that have wanted different things from me than what I was willing to give.  I have been told what was or wasn't normal as some sort of arguing leverage on their parts.  Unfortunately, for them, that type of argument doesn't work for me.  I am not now, nor ever was, trying to be normal.  I am always just being myself.  My authentic self.  As I grow and mature, she, my self, changes a bit here and there, but I never stop being me in the moment.

As you look at your life, where do you feel you have stood your ground on being who you are?  Do you know who that is?  Have you checked in and asked yourself the questions necessary to be authentically you?  It is a full-time job, this being human thing.  It takes a lot of time and attention to detail.  It is well worth it after the initial shock of finding out who you really are, what you really want, and learning that there is no such thing as normal, as a blanket statement.  Normal is a perspective, in my opinion, and in my world pretending you are what you are not isn't normal.  Loving yourself, finding the divine in yourself, being all of you, well, that is normal to me.

When you are you, those who resonate will flock to you, and those who don't fit will move on.  I love my ability to remain me regardless of the nature of my relationship with someone.  I love being all of me, even when that means someone isn't happy about it.  I love feeling grounded and mature enough to know that trying to be normal gets me nowhere if that behavior isn't me being my authentic self.  It is so much easier to navigate the world when you aren't trying to fit into it.  Go on and be… whatever that may be.