Heyo! I have been told that I say things that no one else would say. Well I am here to help to teach you how to be loving and direct. Stop wasting everyone's time beating around the bush. Say what you need to say and move the hell on. The areas I will touch on are 1) other people's opinions of you; 2) other people's concerns about what you are doing in your life; and 3) your opinion of yourself. I stress that these things take practice and you will have plenty, believe me. You will get many opportunities to be lovingly direct because people tend to be kind of annoying. Sorry peeps, it is true. I love you but you need to learn to let others be who they are and deal with your own shizznit.
Ok, when someone says something to you about how you are living your life, such as, "I wouldn't do that." Tell them, "Then don't." They will quickly get the message that they need to keep on keeping on with their mouths a tightly closed. When someone comments on how you are changing your diet or exercise habits… ok, I have to get into this a bit before I continue. People, if you are overweight, eating poorly and feeling shitty leave the ones who are getting it done alone. If you are taking care of yourself and you think your way is the only way, you are wrong. Let people do what makes sense to them and let them ask for help before you offer up your sage advice. Ok, now, to give you some tools to respond when you are being told that you aren't doing your health and well-being correctly, a great response would be, "thank you for giving me information I didn't ask for." Or, if that is way too blunt for you, "I would prefer it if you didn't comment on my very personal journey around health and wellness unless you are saying supportive things, thank you." People you must set boundaries, you will be healthier and happier for it. The friends, acquaintances and others you interact with will also get a great lesson in respect. We all could do well to pay more attention to what is happening in our own lives instead of meddling in others.
Now onto dealing with people being worried about you. In all honesty they aren't worried about you. They are worried about themselves and projecting all over you. This is the deal, if you are asking for help then I understand if someone is giving it to you, if you aren't then you aren't. Now, you may let some of your loved ones know to hold you accountable or call you out. Still permission must be given before you can step in or respect someone stepping in. I understand that these boundaries get blurry and can disappear altogether when drugs and or children are involved. Still understand that there needs to be a respecting of boundaries regardless.
I own my actions completely. If I did it I did it. If I am in it I am in it. I am also ok with whatever it is that I am doing, even if it seems like I am miserable, frustrated, upset or what-have-you. I know that I am supposed to be exactly where I am. I don't need anyone's concern. Love, yes. Support, yes. Concern (by concern I mean thinking negatively around me or a situation I am in, not 'caring' about me... that is compassion and is always ok) and worry? No. Never. I am unbelievably optimistic and know that I will make the best decisions for me at all times. At no point am I regretting, fretting or feeling like I am confused. So if you happen to be feeling any of those things in regards to me, keep it to yourself. Just a little heads up. I don't want to know.
Moving on… The only thing that actually matters is how you feel about you. No joke. Everyone else will follow your lead. Do you like you? Others will like you. Are you working hard to be kind to yourself? Other people will be kind to you. Do you take your truth seriously, do you look into yourself to find out how you really feel, what you really want? You will be supported if you take deep consideration of yourself. When you put energy into yourself it comes back to you tenfold. When you respect your truth your truth is respected. When you set boundaries you are saying you give a f*ck about yourself, that you are worthy. You are worthy. You are worth everything and all things. You are born worthy and at some point I hope you recognize your worth. Start by communicating your needs, wants and desires. Telling others to step back and focus on themselves and let you alone. You are your own work and you are doing a fine job… getting better everyday.