being present

You Dont Need To Know

not knowing-cr-adj-mod72r750web


You think you know but you don't.  We all want to know… something, anything.  It makes us feel like we are smart, special, in control.  Humans are pretty bad at going with the flow.  We set up our lives so we can get familiar and so that things aren't unpredictable.  We want to feel like we can tell what will happen next.  We stress about things when we don't know so much so that we can literally make ourselves "sick with worry."  Sick with worry is not a joke, it happens, people are exhausted from freaking the f*ck out on the regular.  The thing is, most of us don't know and don't need to know… that isn't the point of life.

There are ways that believing you know can become a hinderance instead of the freedom that most think knowing brings.  If, six years ago, you knew you were going to be where you are now what would you have changed?  If you knew the details of your life then how would you have judged this life you live in this moment?  Now, most of us are not who we were six years ago.  Most of us have some different perspectives, experiences, ideas that may have changed the way we view our lives now.  But if your six years younger self had known, he or she may have changed everything so you would be where you are… and wouldn't have grown into whatever you have grown into.  Knowing takes away learning.  Learning is growth.

You have a lover or a friend or a family member who says they know you.  The relationship changes.  You don't see each other for years, though when you were together the relationship was symbiotic almost.  You have experiences, thoughts, ideas.  You then speak with your friend/relative/ex-lover and they tell you that they know you.  You are trying to explain how you have come to see the world differently since you have been gone and they aren't having it.  They tell you who you are, where you came from, what you want, think, etc… You are invalidated, not heard, frustrated because they know you.  They know you.  What in the hell do they know?  Why is it even important?  

You have a friend/relative/ex-lover that it speaking with you after years of not being as close as you were… but you were super-duper close before, you grew up together.  You think you know them, how they would do this or that.  It brings you comfort.  It brings you a sense of belonging to one another, closeness.  You see them do the same things they did a long time ago.  You know them.  Then, they do something that surprises you.  You are unhappy because you thought you knew them and they acted "out of character."  Whose character are they acting different from?  Are they behaving differently from the person you have boxed them in to being or are they doing what they are doing, which is a direct demonstration of how little you know?

You want to know who you will be with, where you will live, what you will be doing in the future.  The future is dependent on you living the present moment.  Learning the present moment.  You cannot get to France if you don't first know where the f*ck you are.  You knowing that you will marry in 10 years, work as a consultant to large corporations helping bring about empathy in business in Paris does what for you now?  If you are currently waiting tables and in love with being single and totally self-absorbed.  Knowing what the future holds takes away the lessons of the present.  

You aren't supposed to know everything, on the contrary, you are being urged to be open, curious, excited about the unknown, not fearful and freaked out.  There are so many gifts in this moment and we lose those gifts when we try to see farther along than where we are.  The future will happen in a more amazing way than you could predict anyway.  Let it take care of itself by being right where you are, fully.  Besides, knowing is less interesting than being.  Being is where it is at.  Why not try that for a spell, see what shakes out.



What's Good???

Good Morning!!! Tuesday Gratitude Practice is here!!!  How will you take what you are grateful for through the rest of your day?  This isn't just about writing it down and sending it back…  put it out there!  Let the world feel your appreciation!  Let's make a difference.     

This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:


Energy Healing.


My Work.

My Journey.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

What is going on in your world right now?  What are the things that are making you smile?  People?  Love?  Work?  These are your gifts.  At any point in your day you can call upon these gifts and open them.  You just need to remember that they are always there for you.  Those moments of joy.  If you are lamenting, struggling, feeling depleted you are almost certainly imagining something that isn't happening right now.  You are going over something in your past or imagining something in your future (in a negative way) and you are nowhere near where you actually are.  When you leave yourself you feel unsafe, depressed, alone.  These worries, this blue feeling, this is you leaving you and coming back again.

Leaving oneself can be done in all manner of ways.  You can eat yourself into a state of numbness, you can do the same with drink.  You can keep busy so you don't have to hear what you are feeling.  Or you go over something that happened that made you feel small, less than, helpless.  You go over it so you don't have to be big, take ownership or responsibility.  You stay in that small place instead of assuming the role of caregiver for your soul.  You leave yourself by staying regressed, by ditching your knowing, by letting your power slip away.  When you come back you bring the stories of past and ideas of future with you.  The disconnect sometimes hurts…

Before you can stay with yourself, you need awareness on when and how you leave.  To gain awareness you must practice paying attention to where your mind goes when you are feeling down.  What is the language you use, what routines do you have around your sadness?  When you have gained that awareness you can now work toward change.  Until you know you don't know.  It is simple.  Start with knowing you have no reason to not enjoy this moment.  If you aren't you have work to do.  Some moments are great and there is no information in them except the moment itself.  Others, well, that is where your work is and that moment is as big of a gift as any other. :)

Be where you are or you will be somewhere else.  If you decide to go, pick the destination wisely and stay for only a short time lest you miss out on right now, which is all there is anyway.