Hello, Keep going. I know how hard things can feel. I know how sometimes you think that it is all for naught; that you are just going in circles. You aren't even though it truly doesn't seem like any forward movement is happening. Then there are times where you know you are moving forward but it just isn't at the pace you would like it to be. You want quicker results. You want the results to fit into your expectations, you want what you want and anything else seems like failure. I get it but cannot support it. We set ourselves up for failure on a regular basis and don't take responsibility for managing our own expectations around our growth, success or advancement. When you expect to be rid of something you only just recently learned you were embodying for most of your life you are setting yourself up for disappointment; you can at least give yourself a similar amount of time to get above what you don't like as it took to make what you don't like a habit; 5 years of making something a habit takes is going to require longer than a few months to truly unlearn.
This isn't for you to become discouraged. On the contrary, it is so you understand patience. When you are working on learning how to live a life that is new in a large number of ways, the last area of your life to truly shift is your emotional life. How we view the world, how we see ourselves, what we want, feel, desire, all of these things are deeply embedded in our core. Changing how we respond to present situations so that we aren't repeating behaviors of the past is difficult and an ongoing process. You mustn't get ahead of yourself and, at the same time, you must dream bigger and see farther than your present state of being. In other words, you must stay rooted in the present moment but peer over it to see that there is light; faith is needed.
Anything you want to change, grow, learn will take time. You will have to put energy into whatever it is that you would like to attain. Giving up, deciding that it isn't happening fast enough, becoming discouraged, losing faith are the enemies of love, life and the pursuit of emotional, spiritual and physical evolution. As you stumble, recognize that there is something that slowing down will show you. As you feel like you are spiraling or having a setback, know that you need to gather more tools for your journey and this is an opportunity to do so. There are no mistakes if you are consistently learning.
Keep going. The only way out is through.