Hi there, I have no regrets about anything I have said to anyone in my life. I am very purposeful with my words, both soft and sharp. I believe regret is like guilt, pointless. I know that it can take a lot of energy for most people to speak on purpose. To shut up when they have not truly thought out their words and to mean what they say when they do finally speak. So much of our communication is thoughtless and rote. We ask one another how we are without actually caring about the answer. It is often just what we say as a greeting not anything we are truly meaning. The thing about this is that words are powerful and assist in making magic happen. When we speak without putting energy behind it or recognizing the power in the words we utter we create a world and things within it that aren't what we truly intended. So often people say things just to fill space, to distract themselves from their own thoughts. So much of our behavior is to numb ourselves from knowing ourselves. It is no wonder why we don't see that we teach one another and that everything we do is an example for someone else.
You never know what affect your words will have on someone. You never know when someone will be listening and when what they hear will change their lives in some way. It is impossible to know how someone will truly take your words and filter them to give them meaning. Each person has their own set of filters, which are, in part, shaped by their experiences in this lifetime and possibly others. How we interpret something is truly not ever about the present moment. Our reactions to things are based on our history with similar things and, what we consider important is unique to each of us. Because of this lack of control over when or what someone considers what you do or say important, consider everything you do or say important and possibly taken to heart.
Every interaction with everyone and everything is an opportunity to bring about change. How you are with others, what you say, how you say it, makes a bigger difference than you are aware. When I was around 10 I fell in love with my french teacher, Mrs. Worthy. I don't exactly know how my mother found out but she told me clearly that it was normal in everyone's development to like both girls and boys. This was a relief to me because I liked boys and girls and thought it was fabulous that I now had permission to do so and still fall in the range of normal. :) I now know that being normal isn't all that groovy and have since adjusted my status to abnormal. Either way, that statement that my mother made, that information about normal sexual development, helped me throughout my life as I had boyfriends, fell in love with girls and had girlfriends and knew that I didn't have to decide to only like one or the other regardless of how much pressure is on everyone else to do so. I felt very secure in my being open to loving people first and not caring too much about gender. At the time my mom wasn't actually thinking about me being something other than straight. She wasn't even truly focusing that much on me during the Mrs. Worthy conversation… she just knew to not say something tome that would ostracize me or put me down. She was careful to make sure I felt included, healthy and developmentally on track. I am so grateful for that.
Maybe you have been that person for someone, the one that they remember helping them be ok with who they are. Maybe you are the one that has helped someone question the validity of who they are. We all have the power to support or judge. We all have the power to hate or love. Are you deliberate with what you create or are you like a drunken college student stumbling around peeing on things? You can't choose what or how someone takes what you do or say, but you can do or say what you want, what you mean and do it with intention to help and intention to love.