sharing

I Am A Writer

Howdy, We all have a voice that lives inside of us and is aching to come out.  We all have things that we must put down on paper, shout about or sweat out that cannot be pushed aside.  Speaking what is true for us is freedom.  We all have a story or stories that long to be told, to a friend, lover, sister, brother.  We all have a story that brings us closer to our truth, that describes our selves… that reminds us of who we are.

I remember feeling like I had to write a certain way if I was going to be a writer.  I would need to be able to describe things in-depth, be super-duper articulate at all times and basically write like my mother.  It is funny how we try to model ourselves after various people in our world that have had some major impact.  My desire to write in a similar way to my mother actually stopped me from writing.  Every time I would sit down to try to write in her voice I became stuck.  It didn't work.  I am not descriptive in the same way, I am more conversational.  I don't have the fancy way about me that she does, I write, as I have been told, in a more raw fashion.  I live that way too.  It wasn't until I gave up trying to be someone else that I was able to write like myself.

Once I was done trying to be other than me I was able to write about anything and everything that excited me.  I could write about love, about pain, I could write about philosophical ideas or how annoying it is when someone touches my hair without permission. I could write about things that I have lived through and things I want to accomplish.  I realized that writing was a way to create the world that I wanted and remember the world I have lived.  It was a way to make sense of what seemed senseless.  It was and is a way to stay grounded.  Writing can be a way to connect, really connect to the world, to yourself, to the one.  We are all writers.  We are all speakers.  We are all story tellers.

What do you want to say?

I Want To Write by A.C.

I want to write about books and the way they smell when you love them. About the dog-eared pages that save my place, and how I wish that I could dog ear points in my life.

I want to write about infatuation and adoration and stupidity and trickery and the torment of knowing a lover too well.

I want to write about singers and songwriters and a musician that rocks back and forth with soul as if it were her mother.

I want to write about the sound of the ocean when there's no one else in sight and my hair is tangled and my lips are salty, dry and quivering.

I want to write about starfish and the rocks they cling to.

I want to write about mothers and daughters and safety and unconditional everything forever and ever amen infinity.

I want to write about lunacy and madness.    About rocket ships and words on arms and mathematical equations I will never understand.

I want to write about her and her and the one that walked away with no wounds, and left me with all of mine to lick alone.

I want to write about want and need and co-dependence, about turtle shells and animals that protect themselves with outer layers, that at times I wish I had.

I want to write about faceless people, I have tried to forget,the ones who haunt me in the nite as I fight with sleep.

I want to write about cold hearts and hot coals on the bedroom floor.

I want to write about a girl, my girl, and the words that fall short each time I try to tell her how I feel.

I want to write about needing, and wanting and aching and yearning.

I want to write about capital letters, punctuation, and form.

I want to write about death and birth and what matters most between the two I want to write about writing and how painful it is. About how necessary it is.

xo

a

You First

Hello, When it comes to loving others, truly loving and being able to hold space or take care of what it is they need, the order would have to be you first.  Trying to give to someone something you deny from yourself isn't sharing love.  Trying to be what someone else wants when you don't know what you want isn't sustainable and at some point it will be too much for both or one of you.  Being there for someone requires that you know what that feels like, that you do it for yourself and/or have had someone be there for you in the ways you need them, not how they wanted to.  You are that someone…always.

Before you venture off trying to save the world, save yourself.  I am always baffled by the amount of giving people do for one another and at the same time think that giving to themselves is a sin or not the direction that they need to focus on.  Please understand, we are here to assist in the development of the whole but not by sacrificing ourselves… we are the whole.  Look at the world like a fractal, what I do to me just repeats and repeats on all levels.  And, it goes on and on and on.

Be that person that listens well with yourself.  Be the one who is always kind, with yourself.  Notice how well you treat you.  See if there is room for improvement in every aspect.  Do you like to be picked on?  Nagged?  Told that you suck?  Then why would you do it to yourself?  How would you trust someone who doesn't trust themselves?  Do you trust yourself?  Do you feel worthy of love?  Of joy?  Of happiness?  How would someone else really find that in you if you haven't found it in you?  How could you ask for something you yourself won't do?

You are the source.  You are the alpha and omega.  You are where the pain begins and where it can end.  You are where the love begins and where it can spread.  Focus on what it is that you are needing, feeling, seeing, hearing, afraid of, loving, wanting, deciding, thinking.  Make your work you.  Accept the things that you wish to change with the joy of a child.  Be curious about yourself.  You are amazing.  There was a day where your being born was the highlight.  You are enough just because you are… you exist.  Now get on with working on this existence, making it the best one you could imagine.  Share yourself and your growth so that others may shine their own light as well.  When we forget who we are chaos ensues.  When we believe that someone else holds the key we remain locked in place, rigid, unmoving.  We are the key, the lock, the sun and the moon.  When you feel yourself, whole, nothing can penetrate that.  You are much more effective when you are full of love than when you are looking for it.

See where you are taking care of or neglecting yourself.  Then look at your world.  Do you see you reflected?

xo

a

P2P

Howdy!! I have been a coach for a long time.  During this time I have always benefitted from working near and with other coaches.  Once I left the collegiate coaching world I lost the coaching community that was built-in.  Since that time I have worked in clubs and on my own, but never with coaches that were about connecting, communicating and growing themselves and others, in the same way.  When you are able to work with other people who are doing what you do, sometimes better than you do, differently and in some ways the same, you are able to get what you give to your clients/students/athletes:  Coaching.

This holds true for any profession you are in.  If you are a yoga instructor it is important for you to be with other yoga instructors, be instructed and talk about yoga with people who know it.  If you are a photographer, writer, singer, dancer, designer, executive assistant, manager, or you are doing anything that is done by someone else… you would probably benefit from knowing others in your field.  We are so much stronger when we work as a team, when we share what we know.  There is something about hearing how someone else approaches a situation that you too will be, have been, or are presently faced with.  You learn that perspective is everything.  You learn that there are other ways to do what you do as well or better.  You learn about yourself.

In order to improve, in order to elevate yourself you need to be pushed forward, or pulled ahead as it sometimes turns out.  Being around others that are 'on your level' aid in this process.  You can always tell when you have met your equals because the feeling is mutual.  There is an openness that occurs without force.  You just know that you are peers.  It feels great, you relate, you share and, well, growth begins.

Get out there, get going, meet your people and start growing!!!

xo

a

What's Good???

Good morning! It is Tuesday!!  :) This only  takes a few moments to do but gives to you for much, much longer.  So put down whatever you are doing and take a couple of minutes for yourself.  Every Tuesday morning I am going to ask you to write down 5 things that you are grateful for and email them to me (keep for yourself as well).  What are you feeling gratitude around?  Here are mine for this week:

The Spartan Race & Events Like It.

Live Music, oh so good.

Old Friends.

Emotional Intelligence.

My Sister's Gift From Miles.  

There are no right or wrong answers.  It is about what you are grateful for.   It is proven that doing this once a week for three months (actually just 9 weeks) makes you happier, healthier, exercise more and less sensitive to perceived slights.  You will sweat the small stuff less and focus on what really matters.

So… what are you waiting for???

Food for thought:

Conflict is a part of life.  We all have to have difficult conversations.  How do you manage to keep it healthy?  What ways do you engage or avoid that make it de-escalate or escalate?  Here are some guidelines for listening that we could all use, I believe.

If you are sharing an issue:

Be aware of what you are feeling in your body.

Be aware of when you feel you need to protect yourself, or deflect attention away from the process.

To speak about your fears or feelings, the good ones as well as the hard ones.

To speak about yourself from an "I" space.

Not to talk about your partner or other people, not to label, invalidate, attempt to control or discuss any one else's behavior.  When talking about someone else, you can say, "When this happened, I felt this way." 

~From Dina Bachelor Evan's Book, Breakup or Breakthrough

When you talk about things from your perspective, using "I" you keep your feelings as the focus. 

"Learn to become empty to know the truth.  It is found between the words, between the breaths, and between actions."  ~DBE

xo

a