Hello, When it comes to loving others, truly loving and being able to hold space or take care of what it is they need, the order would have to be you first. Trying to give to someone something you deny from yourself isn't sharing love. Trying to be what someone else wants when you don't know what you want isn't sustainable and at some point it will be too much for both or one of you. Being there for someone requires that you know what that feels like, that you do it for yourself and/or have had someone be there for you in the ways you need them, not how they wanted to. You are that someone…always.
Before you venture off trying to save the world, save yourself. I am always baffled by the amount of giving people do for one another and at the same time think that giving to themselves is a sin or not the direction that they need to focus on. Please understand, we are here to assist in the development of the whole but not by sacrificing ourselves… we are the whole. Look at the world like a fractal, what I do to me just repeats and repeats on all levels. And, it goes on and on and on.
Be that person that listens well with yourself. Be the one who is always kind, with yourself. Notice how well you treat you. See if there is room for improvement in every aspect. Do you like to be picked on? Nagged? Told that you suck? Then why would you do it to yourself? How would you trust someone who doesn't trust themselves? Do you trust yourself? Do you feel worthy of love? Of joy? Of happiness? How would someone else really find that in you if you haven't found it in you? How could you ask for something you yourself won't do?
You are the source. You are the alpha and omega. You are where the pain begins and where it can end. You are where the love begins and where it can spread. Focus on what it is that you are needing, feeling, seeing, hearing, afraid of, loving, wanting, deciding, thinking. Make your work you. Accept the things that you wish to change with the joy of a child. Be curious about yourself. You are amazing. There was a day where your being born was the highlight. You are enough just because you are… you exist. Now get on with working on this existence, making it the best one you could imagine. Share yourself and your growth so that others may shine their own light as well. When we forget who we are chaos ensues. When we believe that someone else holds the key we remain locked in place, rigid, unmoving. We are the key, the lock, the sun and the moon. When you feel yourself, whole, nothing can penetrate that. You are much more effective when you are full of love than when you are looking for it.
See where you are taking care of or neglecting yourself. Then look at your world. Do you see you reflected?