now

Be Happy Now

Hello there, How many times a day do you say no, silently, to your world, your life, to others?  How many times do you wish for something that isn't happening at the moment?  How often do you try to change what has already happened by going over it in your head and remembering it differently.  How many times do you try to get someone to be someone else, including yourself?  How do you think your world is affected when you deny, refuse, resist and consistently try to wish away what is?  Is life, your life, that unsatisfactory that wanting something other than what you have is more fun, more rewarding and overall more enjoyable?

Happiness is not something you shoot for.  Joy isn't a goal.  These are states we have always within us, totally accessible.  We spend so much time choosing to dislike what is that we never see the beauty in the moment.  We take for granted all that supports, loves and appreciates us because it isn't exactly what we want it to be or how we would like it to be.  The truth is we may never get where we want to go, we may not be around long enough.  Nothing is promised, certainly not an amount of time in this human experience, so, though planning for the future is important, being attached to it isn't.  The future has a mind of its own and it is better to bet on what is right now.

Learning to love this moment brings you to that state of being we call happiness.  Loving the moment doesn't stop you from wanting the moment to change or be something else.  It allows for you to spend less time efforting change.  When you are happy, when joy seeps from your pores the world is yours.  What you thought you had to force now flows easily in your direction.  What you thought was going to take forever and be a struggle is done with joy and realized sooner than you thought.  Most of all you forget to be miserable when you are busy being happy.  You forget to worry when you trust in the moment you are in.  When you give up resisting your life, your life stops resisting you.

Be expansive, be joyful, be love.

xo

a

Life Is What You Make It

Howdy! When people stop looking back they can move forward.  I have been guilty of looking back at past relationships, lamenting over what did or did not go well.  I have wondered if my life would have been different if I had made different choices.  I have been that guy who tried to rekindle a past relationship in case I had made a mistake.  I have spent time living in days long gone.  I know what it is like to not want the moment I am in to be when in reality this is all that is.  Because I have been here, it would seem like I would be super understanding when others dive into shoulda, woulda, coulda as well.  I am not.  I mean, I understand, but I know the damage that it causes all too well.  Tell me, would you let someone play with fire if you have been burned?  Would you not warn someone about the water being deep and the rapids fast so you could seem understanding?  I want to shine a light on the time wasted when spent on looking back, living backwards and being less than present.

I have heard so many people say so many things about wondering how things would have turned out.  I have actually been told that things would have been easier if I hadn't been born (by a loving family member).  That may have been the case, if it had been the case… but the reality is I was born and I am here.  The past doesn't change.  You can either get over it or you can live in it forever and ever and ever.  There is a way to integrate what has happened with where you are now.  There is no dishonor in not being depressed by your history, being happy in the moment and dealing with those things you have the power to change while letting everything else go.  This acceptance is truly freedom.  This freedom is a gift.  I would like to give that gift to you if you are open to receiving it.

One of the issues is that receiving the gift of accepting where you are right now and that you cannot change what has happened is you have no one to blame, no thing to blame, no past or situation to blame for your world right now.  All you have is power and responsibility.  This may seem exciting on the surface, but with power and great responsibility comes a shitload of work.  You have to take care of the now.  You have to own what you do, why you do it and know that the only constant in your world is you.  You are the only one who has put you where you are now.  It is a harsh reality.  I think that most of us would rather be depressed about the past than own our present and create our future.

Take a good hard look at your life.  Where are you placing the responsibility of your life?  Who have you allowed to be in charge.  Where do you see yourself, victim or ruler?  You do have a choice whether you choose to believe it or not.

xo

a