Happy Friday! The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure." ~Sven Goran Eriksson
Fear is unbelievably powerful. Fear motivates us to change what we do, how we treat others, how we treat ourselves. Fear will get us to give up our freedoms. Fear will get us to hurt others. Fear basically will kick our ass. Fear also makes certain that love is lost. With fear being present there is no space for love. You are not allowed to live immersed in both. Yet so many people will fall into love with someone based on the fear that there aren't any better options, that they should, that they need to be partnered at a certain point or age in life. Fear will keep someone in an abusive relationship with someone else and/or with themselves.
Often we are afraid to be who we are, fully. We show only the parts that are shiny and nice. We hold onto and hide the parts that we have deemed unlovable. We have taken the parts that we feel would push someone away and shown them piecemeal, after we feel secure that the person loves "us." Well, what "us" are they loving if they don't have all the information? What you have you given them the opportunity to fall for. How would they stay with you when they don't know who you are? What do we expect when we don't give someone the opportunity to know all of what they are getting into. It is like we want to get someone attached and then show them the stuff that they would run from otherwise but won't now because they are obligated through promises made when ignorant of the truth. Think about it. Is that what you want?
Why would you enter into anything not being your authentic self? What do you have to gain? Well, it isn't always that black and white. Most of the time we don't know we aren't being authentic, we just aren't accepting of who we are. We haven't actually spent time loving up on the parts that we hide. Yet, we hope that someone will love us enough to have to deal with the shit they never knew existed when they first fell in love. We get into relationships and wonder why they don't work. We leave or get left, we fear abandonment and aren't understood. The truth of the matter is that the fear of being left is realized when we don't show up for ourselves. When we abandon all of ourselves we don't allow others to stick it through with us. We show others that we aren't worth staying. When we deny the truth of who we are, others don't want to live that lie. When we base our lives on who we want to be and not who we are we end up feeling lonely and lacking. You must be the person you want to be with in the world.
What do you want? How do you want to be loved? Do you want someone who knows you, all of you and loves you because of it? Do you want to hide yourself and live a life pretending to be other than who you are? Are you willing to accept the parts of you that aren't what you want to sing and dance about? Do you feel worth putting yourself out there so that the one who will love you for all of it can actually find you? When you hold back on who you actually are you don't give someone the opportunity to love all of who you are. We are way to caught up with catching someone than being caught. We are way to afraid to be who we are and have faith that we are worthy of love, deserving of unconditional love, destined for true love. You are enough. You are exactly right for someone. You, all of you just need to come out of the dark, let go of the fear, walk towards yourself with open arms, then show yourself in all of your glory to the world and let your love find you.
"Fear is faith that it won't work out." ~Anon