Miles To Go...

Hiya, On this day seven years ago I had been living in Seattle for 9 days.  My girlfriend and I had just moved from New York and were awaiting my sister and nephew's arrival.  They lived in Arizona and were relocating to Seattle so that we could build our empire.  We weren't totally sure what the empire would be but we were going to do it together.  On this day seven years ago my nephew passed away.  He drowned.  It was and it one of the most significant moments in my life.  Sarah and I were running with the Seattle Running Company Run Group and upon our return I had a voicemail message.  It is so funny how different phones are now. Seven years seems like an eternity for electronics and their development.  But I digress… I had three voicemails actually and knew that something was amiss.  I just had this feeling.  I assumed that the tragedy that was seemingly imminent involved an older family member… not my 8-year-old baby.  

In the seven years since my family has been up and down in their grief… I have made decisions that were clouded by the urge to live after a death that was so intense and paralyzed by the fear of having to repeat any part of that experience.  In the past seven years I have grown beyond any plan I could have had for myself.  I feel lucky to have been in Seattle during this time.  It is a spiritually open place and for that I am grateful.  I appreciate this day each year, it always has more to show and share.

Last year, on the sixth anniversary of his death I asked my friend and client Psychic Medium David Zarza to give my sister a reading in the hopes that we would connect with Miles.  At that time the past six years had been like a slow-growing cancer for us.  Our relationship had been strained.  I felt and still do, that watching my sister die over her loss was far worse than my nephew's drowning.  I have a view of life and death that is neither sad nor tragic… I do feel stronger about not embracing the moment than what is to be expected if you are among the living: death.  So seeing my sister deteriorate, blame, be helpless, in my eyes, was beyond painful.  I still struggle with a way to describe how difficult it was for me.  I will keep trying… the words are in me, the feelings are still present.   

During the reading Miles came through.  He discussed his death, what he saw and felt and that there was no mistake in any of it.  All was as it was meant to be.  He had a little message for me but ultimately the message was of profound love and gratitude for his mother.  She had never left him, even after his passing.  It was and still is amazing to me, what she did.  My sister gave up half of herself to keep him safe even when his body was no longer necessary, even when he was on another plane.  Just because your child dies doesn't mean you are no longer a mother.  The reading opened up a new chapter in our lives and this past year has seen growth and movement towards love in a better way.  Healing is happening.

So, on this day, a year later, I want to send love to Miles, my sister and everyone who has ever lost anyone, will lose anyone or feels lost themselves.  You are where you are supposed to be… this thing, life, is one heck of a ride.  You are here so you are ready.  Take nothing for granted and nothing too serious.  This is all temporary… all of it.  Nothing stays and nothing needs to.  Enjoy the beauty of the impermanence of all… that fleetingness is what makes things so invaluable.   

xo

a

ps If you would like to read about the reading my sister and I had with David Zarza his book When Spirits Call is about to be released soon.  You can read the details of the reading (as well as other readings he has done) and how, a few months later, we were affected by it.