Howdy, Who actually spends time figuring out why they do what they do when they do what they do? Why is it important to know? Well, let's see… we are, most of us, walking around with the desire to be loved (it is more like the end all be all for everyone) and understood. The thing about those desires is that we don't often love ourselves (which I have written about) and we most certainly don't always understand our motivations, reactions, feelings and inhibitions. We actually spend very little time asking ourselves, "Why did I feel that? Where are my feelings coming from? Why did I say that? What do I want? Why do I want that? Why do I need that? Do I need that? Do I want that? Do I feel that? Do I care? Do I want to need that? Do I want to feel that? Do I want to do that?" It can go on and on and I feel that it is important to go on and on in the discovery of you.
If you were to ask yourself these questions regarding your every behavior a few things would come to light. One, you don't know yourself that well and you probably should spend some time with you figuring you out. If you don't know you, who the hell else will? If you don't ask yourself these questions, who is running the show? Are you purposeful in your interactions or are you willy nilly and wondering why things don't work out for you the way you would want them to? So often we believe that because we are experiencing it we should operate from that experience being reason enough to react towards others in one way or another. Rarely do we stop and ask if we want to go where we are going emotionally. Too often we are reacting to something other than what is actually happening. We spend so little time on finding out what is up with ourselves that we don't notice the blame game that we play on a regular basis. We don't realize we put our work on others and then blame them when they don't know what we don't either.
Take a look at any situation you are currently experiencing. Where is it stemming from? It could be awesome it could be horrendous, just look at it and find out where the root is. We associate. It is what we do. Something happens and it reminds us of something else. If that something is pleasant all is well… if it isn't, all is hell. I have, in a number of relationships, been told that thinking about everything that is said is exhausting. So is running, biking, doing yoga, harvesting food, blah blah blah… it doesn't mean that you don't need to do it. Your work is you. Find out why, how, what about yourself. Learn about you if you ever want someone else to. If you don't think about what you say, why you say it and for what reason it is being said, what are you doing? Just because you don't know the answers to the questions doesn't mean there aren't reasons for your feelings and behavior.
Knowledge is power. Knowing yourself is a blessing, a gift, the culmination of persistent attention. You deserve to pay attention to yourself. You deserve to be the center of your universe. You deserve to reign yourself in so others don't have to bear the weight of your not knowing. No one deserves to have to figure you out.
You do you. Thoroughly please.