Hello there! There are many ways to look at a situation. You can look at it from the perspective that it is happening to you. You can look at it as if it is happening around you. You can also look at it as happening inside you. Even still you can look at it as if it isn't happening at all… that it is all imaginary. I tend to look at it in all ways, going through one to the next pretty quickly. When I am faced with a stressful (my perception) situation I feel victimized for a very short time and then quickly move to what I can control. It is hard to stay the course when so many things seem to be thrown at you to knock you off course.
Our minds are tricky things. Thoughts zoom by at the speed of light. It seems to be impossible to slow them down let alone to stop them altogether. Often we have thoughts that stem from feelings arising and we immediately believe that everything that is happening for us is true or has to be true. We are conditioned beings, we have been taught that one thing means another, we have associations that at some point were created not inherent. In order to free ourselves from the conditioning we have to allow the feelings and thoughts to exist (they are rather persistent) and look at them with curiosity instead of giving them our complete trust. When you can let go of what you have always believed to be true about a feeling or a thought you can start recreating your life and undoing the conditioning that may be doing you in.
All of this is easier said than done. There will be things that push you where you feel weakest. You will be in the middle of a bad week and something will come along to show you just how not bad it really was in comparison. You will find yourself in a place where you look around and recognize barely anything, where nothing makes sense, where you feel a bit lost. You will find yourself off track. It is hard to not panic in these situations, it is hard not to find something, someone else to hold responsible for it. Personal responsibility isn't something you can pick and choose to have. You either practice it or you don't. If you can move through the series of feelings and thoughts that keep you stuck and twisting in the wind you just might see the blessing in it. You are being given another opportunity to create the world, the life, you claim you want.