Just Say It
Howdy there! Have you ever bitten your tongue, beaten around the bush, tried to infer what you were meaning? How did it go? I am guessing that you have had some success at having someone 'get the hint' and some epic fails where you just made it worse. What did you learn from it all? Well, I have learned that I need to just say it, get it over with and deal with the backlash, if there is any, because the beating around the bush leads to more ridiculousness than saying it 'straight' as it were.
I have done a great job, in my professional and personal life, of being direct in my communication. However, there are times where I beat around the bush, and those times never end well. Usually the lack of directness is because of the concern around how someone will respond. Sometimes it may be due to not having a solid hold on how I am actually feeling or wanting from a situation. Either way I end up having to deal with the fact that I didn't just say whatever the hell it was that needed saying.
Letting someone know you don't like them, you want them to leave you alone, that they are fired, that they aren't cut out for the position for which they applied, all seem like crappy things to have to do. The truth is, doing it quickly, with tact and honesty, beats drawing it out due to the fear of an unknown (imaginary) response. When you let someone know the truth and you let go of the attachment to the response that they will have once they hear it from you, all becomes a lot less stressful. I have always appreciated being told the reason behind being let go, dumped, ignored, etc. I know that this may not be the case for some, some people would prefer to not know if it isn't yummy. I get that, but I also know that letting someone know why they were rejected is a wonderful gift that they can interpret in the way that makes to most sense for them.
The next time you have the opportunity to say what you mean to say, do it. Say it with love. Say it with the intention to heal not hurt. Say it, most of all, say it.
xo
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